I Know What You Are
by He will knock four times
Summary: The thief lived on the streets as far as I could tell. No family to miss her. No friends to remember her. That would make this very easy. I want her and I will get her. What secrets is she hiding from me though? A axs story. Rated M for a reason.
1. The Beginning

I know what you're thinking.

"_Again? So soon?"_

*sigh* why am I doing this to myself?

Really, do I like torturing myself? Once again I had a story idea and instead of just letting it go, I'm going to make a temporary one-shot and attempt to force myself to ignore it. Even though I'm barely having success with "Seras was wrong and Alucard is angry". (I've tried to ignore it and I found in my free time I had already written a second chapter and then had it typed up. Its all I can do not to submit it online.)

I had promised myself to leave "Run, little one, run" as an one-shot and we all know what happened with that. Already with this one I have all these ideas for potential buzzing through my head. I'm incorrigible.

So now here's my second temporary one-shot. (Crosses fingers and shuts eyes. Must resist)

xXxXxX

She was the most perfect and beautiful image of fear no one had ever seen.

Honey colored brown hair flying behind her and her chest heaving in air she couldn't get enough of. An emerald green cotton overdress rippling in the sunlight and the frantic speed that she was traveling at as she sped over the land as if fleeing from the devil himself. Her white sleeves clung to her pale skin from the speed in which she ran. A red cloak fastened about her neck tightly flowing behind her and a single sliver locket bouncing on her chest. The most perfect heart shaped face and eyes of the most vivid ocean blue. So unnaturally blue. Eyes that showed worry and apprehension. Eyes full of fear and determination. Eyes that flickered back and forth. Searching. Searching. Searching for HIM. Searching for the danger. Searching for the thing that would undoubtedly kill her and the precious, precious thing that she gripped with her hand as if her life depended on it.

She flicked her eyes down to that precious thing and she was reassured. Her precious was still there. Running and being half dragged along. Tired, yes. Small and helpless, yes. Confused and scared, yes. But still there and getting safer with every step they took. The forest around them was getting dark with the slowly setting sun. Her eyes flickered up and a desperate, manic sort of smile came upon her face. The river! Oh god the river! The flowing body of blue green water was the most blessed thing she had ever laid eyes on. It was thirty feet across and flowing fast. It was the most dangerous and beautiful thing she had ever laid eyes on and she swore if she got across alive she would never litter again. If she could just get across…

"Mommy! Where are we going? I'm tired!"

She looked back down at her daughters exhausted cries. Her little angel couldn't run any longer and neither could she. But they must. They _MUST_. She stopped and picked up her daughter and continued forcing her body to move. Run! Flee! Get help! Anything to save the precious bundle in her arms. She squeezed tighter to hold on. To reassure herself that the little girl was still there. she couldn't stop looking at the girl, as if she looked away in a moment she would be gone forever. As if she looked away for even a moment she would never see her little precious angel again. That might well be true. If they were caught… God save her and her beloved, irreplaceable child. So warm and as long as her beautiful angel was in her arms all would be well.

They were so close to the river. Sweat poured down her face and her legs shrieked in protest. Her breathing ragged and her limbs weak. NO! DON'T STOP! FASTER! She cursed herself for being weak. She was a terrible mother for being weak. It would be fine if the consequences for her weakness were her own but her child would suffer as well. She would be ashamed to be called a mother if she let herself be weak. Faster and faster. Not fast enough. More speed. More distance. Not enough. More. MORE. Save the precious child in her arms. Save her. _SAVE HER_. RUN FASTER! All safety concerns were not for her own self. She was no longer important. She was insignificant. Not important at all. The bundle was. The child. The perfect child. The beautiful little girl. Her daughter. Right there in her arms. She neared the riverbed and saw the water flow. Gravel and dirt flew up behind her spraying.

She got to the water ready to splash in.

A sharp crack and a backfire noise as a bullet flew past. She cried out sharply in surprise and put down the child, herding her angel behind her legs. Hiding her. Her eyes grew wide and she trembled.

It was HIM.

He stood there, twelve feet from her, with a grim look on his face, framed by his white blonde hair. There was malice and anger in his eyes. He was intent. The gun he held in his hands didn't shake and it was casually lowered to his side. There was no doubt in those dreadful red eyes. He would kill her today and be done with her. his mouth was parted as he studied them both and she could see those fangs. He was angry. His eyes were so angry she could see bits of black taking over at the edges. NO! Save the child. The beautiful child. Her beloved little girl. She had been caught. But not her daughter. No. She spread her legs and grabbed the tiny wrist behind her that had been gripping her legs, ready to dive backwards and let the river take them both. She may die today but her child would live.

He spoke then. "It is not enough that I have given you everything my dear? Now you seek to leave me?" Those ghastly, horrible, horrible red eyes slid downwards to her child's trembling frame. She moved in front more to hide her little girl. "And to steal my child with you?"

"She is MY child. I will not give her to you! You are no father." She hatefully spit in his direction and covered her beautiful angel's ears, protecting her from what she would say next. "You're just a _rapist_."

He seemed amused by her response and a mustached lip tweaked upwards in glee. "Ahhhhh… but haven't I given you everything? A life of luxury and no pain. A caring husband. A lovely daughter. And all I asked in return is that you stay by my side and obey me and give yourself to me."

Here the rage seemed to come back to him. "Was that so hard? Apparently it was. You were not willing to share our bed. I had to coax you. You were not willing to share our child's time. I had to force you. And now you are trying to tell me you are not willing to even stay at my side and will now try to steal MY child?."

She edged back an inch in answer. Her heart beat. Her legs felt weak but she had managed to catch her breath. She could smell the river behind her. Could hear its gurgling and rushing past with a whoosh. It was safety and danger in one thing and she could see the dazzling light reflected on it from the dying sunlight.

He sighed and snapped his fingers. Her eyes widened a little more in fear. "Zhivago…" she whispered. She shoved her daughter behind her further. Shelter her. Protect t her. He grinned. That… that beast of a man… no not a man. It didn't even deserve a name let alone to be a called a man. She had to protect her angel from it.

Her attention was drawn back to HIM. "Well I suppose there is one dignified way to solve this. Zhivago, please bear witness to this. A shame… I was looking forward to celebrating her fourth birthday with you my dear." His eyes were fixed and full of murderous intent. "I offered you devotion and care for as long as you lived. I gave you safety, shelter and a, life of comforts. I offered you all the beautiful children we could ever desire and love and raise. I offered you all the clothing and jewelry and gifts you would want in exchange for your heart. You would not give it to me." 

Her hands tightened on her daughter's wrist. "No… I won't. I will never." She spoke quietly. A note of finality seemed to settle over the clearing.

He raised the gun. A pistol. "Then what use do I have for you?"

Frantically she turned around and looked to her daughters face. "RUN…"

Crack. She gasped in pain. Midway in her jump. She could feel her shoulder leaking. Spray of blood. The water a foot from her was deep. She swayed. She couldn't hear anything. Suddenly, she was very aware that she would die. She steadied herself on her knees and looked at her beautiful angels face. Tears streaming down fro those perfect blue eyes. Crimson blood had splattered her hair ruining the perfect corn silk blonde hair. Soaked in her own mothers blood. The perfect blue eyes and the perfect blonde hair. Her beautiful daughter. Her love and her angel.

Her lips struggled to make words. She gripped her daughter's shoulders feeling the water flowing over her legs. "I… will… always love… you…" she pushed and felt her heart wrench as her tiny daughters scream was cut short from the water and she could see her being carried downstream by the rushing water. Another crack of a gunshot went off and she smiled through the pain. She had lost the battle but more infinitely than possible had won the war. Her daughter was safe. It was all she could focus on as her world went black and her chest felt pain and broken. Her little Seras was safe forever.

And that….

That was all that mattered

OoOoOoO

Sooooo…. What do you guys think? Good start and interesting story? Or a bad choice? Personally I really love this one. It sort of captured the determination and love of a mother for their daughter. Plus it leaves really cool situations for the future.


	2. Thick As Thieves

Have two options… I can bore you with the details of how Seras survived the river as a three year old and grew up by using a flashback or just let you amuse yourself with the imagination… I pick imagination… (eventually I will fill in the blanks) so while you amuse yourself with your own head I'm going to grab the fist object I can see and beat my head in. which from the direction I'm facing is either a sterio system and a jewelry box. I couldn't even last a week. I admit defeat and will try to keep up all chapters. Other people have heroine and I have stories. Mmmmm… stories… and strawberries.

XxXxX

_**Heyes: The only thing that you have to earn in life is love. Everything else you can steal.  
Kid: Heyes, I didn't know you were a poet.  
Heyes: I'm not, I stole it.**_

It was Downing Street. Loud, full of activity and life. Everyone rushing about with a manic energy and noise like an overturned ant hive on top of a be hive. Cars whizzing past and people running across the street in a blatant j-walking fashion. Peaceful and hurried. Quaint and loud. Both paradoxes were good descriptions were it not for a usual event to occur this morning. Everyone who was not a tourist and frequented the area heard the commotion and by some miracle knew to make a path to get out of the way in time. Others were not so lucky and were knocked over by the fugitive. Angry curses and shouts were hurled after the fugitive in question by an angry cop.

If anyone thought this odd they certainly were not from around here. In fact this seemed to be a normal activity. Perfectly customary. A usual occurrence. No fuss necessary. Seen it before. Certainly nothing to sneeze at or even to turn your head to see in interest. For all the notice the regulars of Downing Street, London, England gave the occurrence they could have been hearing a car drive by or someone shouting out that they were selling newspapers. After all… It wasn't the first time that that enraged detective had ran down the street, huffing and puffing only to scream out

"GET BACK HERE YOU BLOODY LITTLE PAIN IN THE ARSE! I'M GOING TO CATCH YOU AND ALL YOUR BLEEDING LITTLE PICK POCKET FRIENDS AND I AM GOING TO **THROW YOU ALL IN JAIL!**"

Nor was it to be the last time the answer came back, breathless with exercise and laughter.

"THAT WILL BE THE DAY! YOU'VE BEEN CHASING THIS HERE PICK POCKET FOR YEARS!" Gales of youthful laughter floated in the air behind her as she turned the corner, apparently very familiar with the streets.

To the tourists they had seen convenience store thefts before but to see the spectacle before them was slightly astounding. Not only was the thief clearly outstripping the cop in what could only be an impressive foot chase but the absolute blissful expression seen from the thieves smile. The expression on her face was as if this was the most exciting thing she had done this morning. The thing that attracted most attention was the sound for it preceded any sight. The largest noise besides the angry cop's curses was an _odd__** clang **__clink__** clang **__clink __**clang**_. It was the noise of a several metal objects in a ten pound burlap sack slung over the thieves shoulder.

Then came sight when a break in the crowd allowed for a glimpse of the thief. The hair color was invisible because of the black bloused newsboy hat on her head hid it rather well. The black long sleeved shirt she wore looked baggy and large, dirty and beat up slightly. It hid her frame but she seemed very slender and short. A pair of dark blue jeans she had was the only thing she wore that actually seemed to fit, but those had rips and patches all over them. The shoes she sported on her feet were a pair of tennis shoes that looked to be far too tight. If you looked closely though, her jean legs would ride up and you would see mismatched socks. Over her eyes were a pair of black sun glasses and a price tag was still on them bouncing up and down as she ran.

The cop was rather standard though in comparison to the runner. A man of his mid-twenties wearing a black blue uniform and the standard black helmet. About six feet in height and medium build. He had light brown hair that was short and curly. His baton and side arm along clipped to his belt with a walkie talkie on his shoulder. He ran as if a mad man were on his heels and there was an enraged expression on his face. His face was steadily growing red as he was reaching the limits of running he could achieve. His chest was moving rapidly and his breathing was ragged. The frustrated look on his face made him look as if he were going to start frothing at the mouth at any moment.

Tourists starred slack jawed while the residents of the city familiar with the young girl just continued on with their day uninterrupted and completely unfazed in the slightest. After all, that pick pocket girl only targeted tourists and she had been at it for twelve and one half years. The same hustle and bustle of the city. Politics driving elderly men on the streets to arguing in outrage over what they had read on the papers. Cars passing by honking with double deckar busts offering tours of London's. And the same seemingly incompetent cop chasing the same thief for the billionth time.

This was a day just like any other.

XxXxXxX

She dared not look back. She had learned her lesson last time she had looked back. Last time she had looked back to see if that incompetent cop was chasing her and had run straight into the chest of another. It had teken a hell of a lot of running to shake him off. She put on a burst of speed. Breath… just breath. She turned the corner and ran into an alleyway and came to a fork. Without hesitating she made another turn until she made it out onto a another street. She was only a street and a half over. Not nearly far enough to be considered safe.

Systematically she worked her way through a familiar series of streets and backdoors of clubs until she was nearing the warehouse district. By the time she had arrived at the riverside warehouse her back felt terrible from all the times the bag had whacked it and her legs felt sore. She stopped to catch her breath. Almost there. she had spent an hour getting here and surely she wasn't being followed now. To drobbed the heavy bag of cans to the ground and they landed with a loud thud and a clang. Canned food was seriously heavy.

Nearly there. she took a few minutes and picked up the back again, this time trudging back slowly. She approached the massive warehouse and eyes the broken windows. The last storm had blown away the trash bags. They would have to climb up again and cover the openings. All the cold air would come in otherwise. She got to the door and shoved hard. She winced at the loud squeal. Everyone else just said that she just had better hearing because it wasn't very loud to them. To her it was like having someone scream next to your ears. Everything to her was louder than what everyone else experienced.

Nervously she looked around already imagining Verona's reaction when she heard what had happened. Verona was such a tightwad about the rules. Mona was much better though. Mona didn't yell at her when she broke them. Seeing no one she tip-toed through the door over the shelf where they stored the food. She grinned satisfied and took off the sunglasses. She lowered the bag and begun putting the cans on the shelf. Soup and beans to the right, fruit and water bottles to the left. She had just begun to put away the canned fruit when the worst happened. _Click_.

A bean of light hit her right in the eyes and she yelped covering them. Bright sparkles of light dazzled her and her eyes burned painfully. Her eyes had always been sensitive, as long as she could remember. Especially to light. "Oh my god! Verona you jerk! You blinded me! What the hell did you do that for? You know my eyes are sensitive!"

Verona's sour voice broke in. "It would have been well deserved if I had, but we both know your not so quit the bloody dramatics and tell me why I shouldn't kick your arse."

She turned around unsteadily with her palms pressed to her eyes tightly. She wasn't sure if she was facing her angry friend but she spoke anyway. "Willard needed the food."

She could practically hear her friend's last nerve snapping. Her Verona's voice came out like a hiss. "Willard can rot in hell for all I care! We have rules Seras! One of those rules is to never do more than pick pockets or if the situation presents itself you can steal from a store. You can't expect us to keep getting away with this if you keep antagonizing that cop and drawing attention! He's dead set on catching us. Especially you."

She couldn't help but smirk from behind her arms. "Oh come now Mom, you know he's just about the most inept copper we pickpockies have had the good fortune of having on the force. Remember the first time the moron saw me? When he handed me a wanted poster of you, with _you_ right _next_ to me and then _walked away_? Helen Keller had better eyesight and observation skills than this bumbling idiot."

She could hear her friend trying not to laugh and then she made a sort of coughing noise to stifle laughter. She tried to continue her stern mothering lecture but Seras grinned happily. Saved by the bell!

"Oh Verona. Quit being such a sour clout. Now we have food that can last all of us for weeks and we won't have to steal as much. Seras took a big risk for all of us. And quite pouting Seras. You know Verona was only worried about you."

Seras spun in the direction of her other friend and peeked out from behind her hands. She blinked owlishly trying to test if her eyes had recovered. To her relief it had. She lowered her hands and smiled before running forward. "Mona!" She enveloped her friend in a large hugged and laughed as she felt the girl stiffen like a board at the contact. She pulled back to tease her. 'Honestly Moo! You're as cozy as barb wire! I think Moms rubbing off!"

Her friend Mona flushed angrily. 'How many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that?"

She gave a playful face of mock seriousness. "Once more as always Moo." Her friend just grit her teeth in annoyance, still looking faintly embarrassed. Seras laughed and dodged the halfhearted punch her way. She ran to the mattress on the floor and fell onto it.

Once more Verona saw fit to play the mother. "How many times must I tell you not to do that with the mattress? It's the only good one we could find at the dump! It was practically brand new!" Seras wrinkled her nose. Brand new her arse. It smelled terrible. They were just lucky this bed hadn't come from some sort of whorehouse or they didn't wake up with lice or something. She gave a contrite look too her friend and Verona didn't look fooled in the slightest when she pushed out her bottom lip and made her blue eyes big.

She just huffed and went to the door. She looked even angrier. "Seras. You left the damn door OPEN! Do you want us to get stabbed during the night?"

This time Seras really was sorry. She looked down in real shame. How could she forget the door? That was the most important thing to remember. They were in a very bad area and no cops patrolled because it wasn't even a neighbor hood. No. it was an abandoned warehouse district that they had taken for their own. Everyone slept here. Everyone. Every woman and young girl. someone could be robbed killed or worse… "Sorry Verona." She mumbled/

She felt arms around her. She looked up surprised at the urgency. Verona was giving her a tight hug which she returned. She took this as 'I forgive you' She smiled. "Ever the mother mom."

Verona pulled back and looked pleading. "Seras please. Can't you just be happy with picking pockets from tourists? One of these days you're going to trip or twist you ankle or get sick again and then he will catch you. We won't have you around anymore. Besides, your too naïve for your own good. Too trusting. You've lived on the streets your whole life."

"So you DO care mom." She joked. Verona acted like a real hard ass but she was the queen of softy softness. It was Mona that was relaxed but was a real no touchy feeling sort of person. "All this time I thought you were going to turn me in for the reward money."

Verona groaned. "I still can't believe he's that dead set on catching you. He's paying out of his own salary you know. Even with the small mom and pop stores you've taken to robbing for canned food it's never that much. Your not a public menace. You're just a nuisance. Ten pounds to catch a measly pickpocket."

Seras laughed. "I know! Ten pounds! Clearly I shall have to annoy them more!" Mona laughed and Verona glared looking very concerned. "Relax mom. Ill be a good girl just for you."

They both looked as they usually did. Verona had her long red hair, perfect oval face and green flashing eyes. Her jeans were covered in patches but Seras felt envious that she had found shoes in her size on someone's front doorstep to dry in the sun. Mona had her short black hair and perfect mocha brown skin. Seras envied her because it was her month to use some of the money they had stolen to get her jeans and shirts and anything else she wanted. They were just two of her family. Her family felt like that book "Oliver twist" Verona talked about.

Verona looked at her eyes and saw that she meant it. She nodded looking happier and she ran to the oil drum where the wood and newspapers were lying on the ground. She didn't look back but just started adding sticks and newspapers while saying "Beans on toast tonight." Seras grimaced in distaste and Mona laughed knowing that she positively loathed beans on toast. Verona was doing this as punishment! She just knew it! She tried not to pout.

The food was finished cooking just as the sun started going down. Soon Jed, Stanton and Millie joined them before Ducky entered and he yelled at Mona for calling by his real name; Ronald. They locked the door and sat round the fire as the sun set enjoying the beans and toast. All Seras had to do was pretend that this was pizza. Pizza that looked and tasted an awful lot like beans on toast. She had food, clothing and her dysfunctional family of homeless or runaway teens.

What could possibly go wrong?

"_**Take the joy offered and try to leave the sorrow behind. Enjoy the sunlight while you can, for night comes…"**_

XxXxXX

Okay! Alucard enters the story next chapter. I know we already had a basis chapter but I really felt this chapter was important. You have to have a sort of normal chapter before shit starts going down. We can't have Seras mother getting killed and then all of the sudden Seras is seventeen and Alucard has a interest in her. Okay, I know it sounds weird and cliché. Homeless teens gathered together living it rough in an abandoned warehouse stealing for food? Well thers more too it. *weakly defends story*

I would like to thank everyone for all the support. Really. It means a lot.

**Reizei Nausicaa**: Jesus! No need to go nuclear on me! Thank you for the vote of confidence also.

: don't give yourself a stress ulcer there my friend. I give up on my 'only two stories at a time' rule. Ill be spreading my time amongst all the stories. There's no need to choose.

**Nameless Fable**: Calm down sparky. I'm updating all of my stories now. I recovered and no longer have a cold. I can read, write, twirl around my room.

-He will knock four times


	3. Tall Dark And A Lunatic

Alright, I have to explain that this is the next night. Don't want this to be confusing.

xXxXxXx

"_**Back to back,**_

_**they faced each other, **_

_**Drew their swords **_

_**and shot one another. "**_

Search and destroy.

Search and destroy.

Search and destroy.

Search and destroy.

Search and destroy.

Search and destroy.

Night after damnable night that was the mantra that rung through his head. He could nearly hear it in a song. Over and over some worthless cretin that dared try to call themselves a nosferatu behaved little better than a wild animal and he had to deal with them. Normally he delighted in the order because it was fun but it was starting to bore him. There were no enemies who were a challenge and the only enemies he encountered were pathetic shit stains that went down with a single bullet. He had to 'miss' just to have a longer fight.

Worse were the nights where nothing happened. It was peaceful and he could admire the moon and the grounds, perhaps annoy his master to see how long it took her to get out her pistol and shoot him. But it lacked the thrill. The struggle of a battle. The cries of the victorious and the wailing dirges of the dying that had lost. Now a real life and death battle, that was the ultimate thrill. It was a test of who was fit to exist in the night and the victor announced himself the stronger one. One fit to walk the night and who left his enemies in little piles of ash behind him.

It was ten minutes to eleven and he had seven hours to dawn. He growled to himself. Nothing was going on. Absolutely nothing. He felt restless tonight. He could have been content with the serenity but something made his impatient. Something that only activity would cure. Movement. He needed movement and there was none to be had.

His lip curled in a snarl. He had cleaned his gun four times already and spent an hour pestering his master. No missions. He could hear the cooks stout voice two floors above berating a cooks help for accidently reaching into the blood freezer by mistake. He could hear a argument going on about who had cheated on cards between two soldiers. He could hear the incessant scratching of a pen on paper by his master. He could hear Walter in the hall rolling a cart of food down the hall to his master.

Nothing. Some nights he could enjoy nothing but it left him far too much time to think. Thinking eventually turned to thinking about memories. Brooding was something he wasn't interested in. he let his senses wash over the house. He paused. He blinked and smirked wide. He could hear it. Two humans coupling and he toyed with how fun it would be to 'accidentally' pop in on them just to see their embarrassed shouts. He thought for a moment and let it go. It wouldn't be very fun he decided.

He heard it then. A telephone. His masters phone. A grin slowly spread across his face getting wider. He couldn't hear what was being said on the phone but by the questions his master asked, there was some pathetic worm somewhere that had gone on a killing spree and had hid himself in a warehouse district by the Thames River.

Come.

His eyes lit up and he grabbed his gun. Tonight seemed rather promising.

xXxXxx

"_**Ladies and Gentlemen, Hobos and Tramps, **_

_**Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants, **_

_**I come before you to stand behind you **_

_**To tell you of something I know nothing about… "**_

Verona. Mom. Bossy controlling and snappish. A strict mother figure and the largest worry wart Seras had ever seen. Her hair was an ink black in braided beauty that was unusual for someone who lived on the streets. Her skin is a smoky mocha brown and brown kind eyes to match. She was twenty and the second oldest out of them all at the age of twenty. She was wearing a skirt and a black tank top. Her clothes were better cared for because she didn't take the sort of risks everyone else took and just stuck to picking pockets. She was so thin and lean that she cut a nice figure. Verona didn't talk about it much but she was an orphan and had escaped the orphanage at twelve. Witty, sardonic, confident and quick to anger. That was her 'mother'.

Mona. Moo. A shy and introverted wall flower. She was the laid back sister who didn't blink in the slightest when a rule was broken. In fact Seras was certain that Mona was either the rule breaker or the accomplice to the rule breaker. She however was a cynical person and wasn't touchy feely at all. She was sixteen and her light blonde hair was thin and nearly white as her skin was. She had the bluest eyes. She was wearing a brand new pair of jeans from their fund and a purple halter top along with a pair of black sneakers Seras eyed enviously. It was her turn to get brand new clothing from the money they stole. She is an orphan but had an uncle willing to take her in. Seras didn't know the details because Mona wasn't willing to share but Mona had left soon after she moved in and chose to be homeless. Cynical, awkward, blasé-fair, rule breaking and very calm. That was 'cool big sister who knew everything that you didn't'.

Millie. L. A small girl of fifteen with wide nervous green eyes an fiery red, red copper orange hair. Her Scottish accent was subdued when she spoke at all but it was there. she looked around nervously all the time flinching at any accidental brush-up against another person. Quiet and unless she had something to say to Seras she was a mute by choice. Her skin was such a pale white and she would have been beautiful if she smiled. She didn't do that anymore. She was the new comer of the group from two months ago and Seras had found her in an alleyway. She had runaway from her guardian's house which had been her uncle. she was the only one in the group who knew Millie's secret. Seras had offered to go to her asshole of an uncle's house with a pocket knife and castrate him. Millie had laughed feeling happy at Seras's apparently humorous protective side, but had stopped when she realized that Seras had meant it. She hadn't said yes yet but neither had she said no. Seras kept her pocket knife sharp just in case. Shy, fearful, nervous and quiet but sometimes vibrant and so full of life. That was 'little sister in need of protection'.

Jed. Father. Large, black and broad. He was some sort of gentle giant and the patient one of the group. Was soothing like dunking your head under water when you were running a fever. His voice was deep and slow, his hands large and gentle, quiet of nature but his voice was loud and calm. He was a walking contradiction but a sweet man who was highly religious. Jed was only homeless because he lost his job after he had been nationalized. He was a twenty three year old. Just when it seemed he would loose his green card he had met Verona and soon they had gotten together. He didn't like stealing so he stayed home and did housework like doing the dishes in the river and then sanitizing them by boiling them in a pot over the fire. He was sort of simple but he was the only one who had stayed in school all the way through high school and earned his diploma. Calm, deep, thoughtful and an old soul. That was 'father' for Seras.

Ronald. Ducky. Short tempered, foul mouthed and generally just an irritable personage. Black short hair and freckly. Seras made it her mission to give him a hug which he would just scowl and push her away. He hated his name with a passion: Ronald. He refused to be called 'Ron' as well. Said he kept getting called 'Ron Weasly' jokes at school. Hard working and one of the craftiest thieves in the group but he was also a mischievous person. The only time he ever seemed kind was when he was with Mona and Seras teased hi about when he was going to try his luck with her on a date. Blunt, scowling, short tempered, irritable and sensible. That was 'little brother who drives a person mad'.

Stanton. Stanton was a mystery. He just didn't really talk except to help out and all they knew was that he was crazy enough to try anything, even breaking into the police departments jail to get Willard out when he got caught. He had black hair and a wild streak. All they really knew was that he is eighteen and was an orphan who hated the orphanage just as much as they rest of them did. This was 'Crazy older brother'.

Willard. Small. Tiny. The youngest of them all. He was nervous and hesitant in everything. He was clumsy and the most terrible liar Seras had ever seen. But that was nothing compared to his thievery skills. If Seras thought he was a terrible liar then she had no adjective to describe how abysmal a thief the boy was. Eight time out of ten he would be caught thieving, and the one time out of ten he wouldn't be caught… he would accidentally drop his contraband on the way back and loops the money. Seras had learned that his father abused him both physically and mentally for something he couldn't control. So he ran away to escape it. Seras and all the others weren't disgusted in the slightest that he preferred men and welcomed him to their little band of misfits happily. Verona only didn't like him because he couldn't steal or make money, and that nearly every dish he touched to washed he dropped and broke in a fit of clumsiness. Mostly she was angry because he always forgot to lock the door behind him and that he fell asleep almost always during watch guard duty. Verona had been trying to deny him access to the food. Clumsy, bad liar, shy, kind and well intentioned. That was 'little brother".

Verona, Mona, Millie, Jed, Ronald, Stanton and Willard. This was family and Seras couldn't have been happier with it.

Usually…

They all sat around the fire. A sort of moody silence had fallen over them all. Except Verona. She could see it in their stances, their faces and the way they all tightly gripped some part of themselves like they wanted a security blanket. Seras didn't like it. She knew what that look was. They were thinking of memories. It was depressing. But she was falling prey to her own memories and they were likes wolves inside that bit at her mind and snapped their jaws at her heart. She drew her knees to her chest, hugged her knees to herself and rested her chin on top of her kneecaps. She felt a little safer this way.

She watched the flames in silence seeing faces in front of her eyes from the hazy past. Verona broke in trying to waken them from their brooding. Her voice was very artificial, overly cheery. It was too… forced. "I know!" everyone looked up, startled wondering just what she 'knew'. "Lets play the 'I wish' game."

There was a collective groan. Everyone hated that game. Verona was stern woman who, whether she meant it or not, was the mother of the group. So ever sarcastic, strict, soured voiced and chastising she also made it a point to be optimistic and cheerful to keep the group a happy one. Several of her 'games' she forced them to participate in such as the 'good news game' or the 'I am going to the moon and I am bringing with me a…' game. Everyone hated them thoroughly, Seras included. Because when the day wore down and they were left to the quiet they had nothing but their past to torment them and some masochistic part in all of them wanted nothing more than to drown in their misery. To soak up the pain of their past willingly.

Verona shot them all a dirty look for their poor attitude. She decided to go first. "I wish… I had a bowl of chocolate cake." She looked over to Seras and Seras buried her head down trying to be invisible. "Seras, your next."

Without hesitating Seras ruined it. "I wish I had a last name and knew where I came from or why I was found half dead in the Thames as a toddler."

Verona winced and her face fell, clearly not wanting the game to go this way. It was supposed to be a game of positivity to remind them of what the future could hold. Before she could tell Seras off Ducky spoke up, still staring at the fire with glazed eyes. "I wish my mom would stop drinkin' and that my dad would come back."

Verona opened her mouth, clearly trying to stop the game-gone-wrong but then Mona continued it making it worse. "I wish I could go home without my dad bringing back every dime store whore he could spend my collage tuition on and that my mother didn't pretend that he isn't cheating on her or drowning herself in Vodka every night."

Then Willard came, his black hair falling over his eyes. "I wish my meth-addicted, bastard father didn't beat me or my mom and that I hadn't left my little sister there, alone without her big brother to protect her."

Stantons turn came. He just looked down at his feet and spoke quietly. "I just wish I had parents."

Everyone looked at Millie and Seras gave the girl a hug because she knew what her wish would be. Millie was shaking slightly in fear that they would force her to air her secret. She was so afraid that she allowed the contact from Seras. Seras rubbed her back softly and shushed her quietly. Millie relaxed and started calming. She looked at Seras gratefully. Verona was angry.

"Well that's just great everyone! Is that how we are going to behave, like a bunch of moody negative people?" Everyone gave her a small glare of resentment. They tolerated her motherly behavior because it gave them a sense of home and the comfort of a real mother but she could be a pain sometimes. She huffed and walked off to her sleeping bag. It was her turn for the floor tonight and everyone had a sort of vindictive pleasure in that after the way she had disregarded their angst. Normally she was more understanding.

Jed's massive form stood up, his young black face apologizing but no one begrudged him as he went to Verona's side and started comforting her. They all knew that Jed would follow the woman to the ends of the earth and gazed at her with quiet adoration. They all knew that Verona and him would have been married by now but Jed was old-fashioned. He wanted a house. A right proper one with doors and windows, those tea cozy things and an annoying yapping dog that would drive him bonkers but he wouldn't complain because Verona would love the dog. It was all Jed talked about when Verona wasn't around. He would get her a shiny gold diamond ring and a dress and a big beautiful wedding. He would hate and love that yapping dog they didn't yet have because it would be friends with the child they didn't yet have, in the nursery they also didn't yet have. Jed was the only one of them that had a shot of making it off the streets and he was looking for a job.

Seras started snapping twigs pensively and throwing the mutilated remains in the fire. There was something calming in the simple act of destroying the twigs and throwing them into the bright flames. No one spoke. The crackle of the flames and the snaps of the unfortunate twigs as she snapped them in half, then fourths before eighths moodily. Nightime always made her feel restless and hungry but food she had just didn't really do it for her. she had the urge to go and stargaze. She quashed it.

Time started dragging on and the small watch they had nicked off a man told them it was eleven. Willard was first, him being the youngest at fourteen; he got the aluminum bat and handed it to her before going to the men's mattress and lying down. Then Stanton four minutes later got up, through his stick in the fire and went to his sleeping bag. Millie went to the women's mattress after that. Then Mona left her being the last out.

It was Seras's turn for watch duty and she had to stay awake until two.

xXxXxXxXx

Drifting… so sweetly drifting. Dying firelight bathed the ground orange and the sweet tinge of burned embers burned the inside of her nose. Her mind moved sluggishly. She had the vague concept running through her head that there was something she was supposed to be doing right now. But her eyes heavy and half-lidded wouldn't tell her exactly what. Nor would her body be roused awake enough to let her shake off her sleep. Something in her was tingling in warning though, trying to wake her up. Something that screamed at her to run. Slowly she began to slump over.

_**Bang! **_

Her eyes shot open and she jumped up cursing. Wide-awake she grabbed the baseball bat looking around. "What the hell was that?" she whispered out loud. She could see pretty well in the dark. She had always had good eyes sight and better night vision than anyone in the group. Better hearing too. She had heard a gun shot and some sort of retort of the gun firing off. Those sort of noises always echoed off the warehouses around and could be heard from half a mile away. She looked down at her family all asleep. They hadn't heard that? She blinked. It had been faint to her so maybe it had been far away enough. Nervously she wondered if a drug deal had gone wrong and they had chosen the warehouse district by the Thames to do it.

She jumped slightly feeling anxiety when she heard another gunshot, this time louder. She tightened her grip on the bat wearily and ran over to the stair well and frantically climbed up to the catwalk two at a time till she reached the windows. She peeled one of the black trash bags back and peered out of the broken window. It was the same basic dirt and rock path and warehouses as far as the eye could see, which wasn't much because several warehouses blocked all view. She didn't have to squint because her eyesight was perfect and she could pick things out in perfect detail. She looked around the corner and tensed when she heard another gunshot, even closer this time. She didn't see anyone but she heard it them.

Someone yelling monster in a panicked way and gravel crunching as they ran. She heard someone laughing, a second person. His voice was deep. Then she saw what looked to be a man covered in blood stumble around the corner and the unfortunate person tripped. He looked terrified for his life but there was something about him that kept her from feeling sorry for him. He seemed like a slimy sort of person.

Then the second man stepped into view. The one who had laughed. He had a gun in his hand. Now from the distance she was at and being so high up Seras wasn't sure but everything about him seemed large. He was six feet tall from the looks of it and the gun in his hand seemed far to large for an ordinary person. She was high up at an angle. It must be a mistake on her part. The red cloak he was wearing though. Seras could pick out through the blackness that he was wearing a red trench coat over his black suit. She gathered that his hair was black from that way that she couldn't see it in the dark. He was wearing glasses and a hat. She blinked. Was that a FEDORA? It was slightly bizarre.

She watched with horrified fascination at he raised his gun, grinning and shot the man in the head. She would have screamed if she hadn't seen what had happened to the body. It dissolved. That wads the best way she could described it. it was like every muscle just fell apart and then there was this sand like pile leftover. She pinched herself and winced. Then for good measure and gave a light slap to the face. Yep. Defiantly not dreaming. The man made her feel like hiding. There was something about him that made her instincts scream 'danger'. He seemed dangerous. She couldn't help but notice the handsome features though. He face was sort of elegant and pointed. He had smooth skin and she admired his body with a blush. Too bad he looked twenty-seven and seemed to be a murderous lunatic.

As if on cure to hearing that thought he slowly turned.

And looked up.

Right…

At…

Her…

Her eyes widened. He grinned and she swore that she saw fangs. She let go of the black bag, tucking back in place and flattened herself against the cold metal wall. Mentally she screamed. He was going to come in there and kill them! He looked crazy, armed and dangerous. Her eyes flew to the door and she knew the deadlock was on. Slightly reassured but not convinced of everyone's safety. He had a gun. He could just shoot the door off. She tip toed to the window and nervously peeled it back. She peeked through and…

There was nothing. No pile of sand. No drips of blood. No foot prints. No fear. No grinning, tall, dark and handsome murderous lunatics. No body. There wasn't a bird or even a leaf. She blinked. She had to have been dreaming. But what kind of dream was that? A man with FANGS? She shook her head. Nonsense. She was seeing nonsense. There was a slight thrill of fear and apprehension. Had she been discovered? She wasn't quite sure. She had the horrible feeling of being watched and she shook it off as paranoia.

She thought about if for a moment and with an uneasy self-assurance that the door would have already been broken off by now she went to wake Mona for her turn to watch. She shakily gave Mona the bat and went o her sleeping back, burying herself deep inside it and zipped the bag closed herself inside it. she had made herself a protected cocoon and she wasn't coming out until daytime when the sun was high in the sky.

"_**As I was walking up the stair, **_

_**I saw a man, **_

_**who wasn't there, **_

_**He wasn't there again today, **_

_**And I wish he'd go away…**__**"**_

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

How was that? I think I'm getting to the fun parts. I know I'm making the kids seem like a bunch of angsting teenagers or something but might I remind you that they didn't decide to be teenage homeless or to live on the streets for no reason. It may seem typical to have a bunch of oc's with depressing backgrounds but in this situation there's a reason for that. They have issues at home and they don't want to be there so they left. Or an orphan and they didn't want to live in the orphanage.

**Nameless Fable**: don't be. I needed a swift kick in the ass. Truthfully your review was the whole reason I forged my 'only two stories at a time' rule. I'm glad I did too. There's a bit of fun and freedom in sitting down and wondering what chapter for which story I'm going to write.

**SadandLonelyOne**: THANKYOU!

Heh. Next Seras is being stal- I mean follo- I mean tail- I mean having an _enthusiastic_ secret admirer who doesn't remain secret for long. For how long is the question. **DUH** **DUN **_**dunnnnn**_.

-He will knock four times


	4. The horrifying discovery of jello Chucky

*mischievous smirk.* Im ditching school today. Skiving off. Playing hooky. Calling in sickies. First time I ever skipped school. EVER. Can you believe it. Im a senior in high school and graduation is in a month and im actually skipping class for the first time.

Anyways…

I feel sad because I haven't updated this story in awhile and I really like this one. It really appeals to me for some reason. This chapter was weird to write because the first half takes place in the same night as the last chapter and it feels even weirder because it's in Alucard's view. It feels wrong, like adding bacon to ice cream or being so desperate to watch Hellsing that you would stoop to watch an English dub. I'm thinking I should split them up into two chapters.

"_**The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand.**__**"**_

"_**We discover in others what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves.**__**"**_

xXxXxXx

"_**It is a mortifying truth, and ought to teach the wisest of us humility, that many of the most valuable discoveries have been the result of chance, rather than of contemplation, and of accident, rather than of design."**_

It had turned out that there were two vampires in the area. Even more pleasing was that these were not freaks or chipped undead but real vampires. There was the male master and a young female, newborn by the looks of it, who clearly was her master's mate. A female he had dispatched quickly and a male who had fled.

His disgust couldn't have been higher for the male. When it had become apparent that he, the greater opponent, would win the male had fled leaving his vulnerable and young mate behind to die in order to save himself. He had taken pity on her for a moment and made sure to kill her quickly before she realized what her chosen had done and that she had been betrayed. Her death had been painless and quick as possible. Then he set out to kill the bit of traitorous filth. He would take his time tormenting the cowardly scum.

If there was anything he despised most it was a traitor.

Boredom. He was just as disappointed with this prey as all the rest of the rogue vampires in England. This for once was a real vampire, no cheap imitations, and it had no clue of the abilities it possessed. He didn't even consider it a vampire. It was no better than a self aware ghoul. Better to put it down now than to let its filthy body dirty up the ground for others. There was no fight or challenge in this. The coward couldn't even regenerate or dodge a bullet. After a brief confrontation it had just screamed in fear, turned and ran through the warehouses. So he just followed the panicked cries. Disgusting… it was an absolute insult to even consider this a ghoul because at least ghouls had no choice and were worth enough to be pitied.

It ran around the corner of one of the warehouses screaming at him.

"YOU MONSTER!"

he smirked and laughed, sill walking swiftly. He raised his gun and aimed for the legs. His jackal hit the target perfectly and only grazed the leg, just as he wanted, tearing a small chunk of flesh out of the leg. The filth screamed in pain and stumbled but kept running the path between the warehouses. He was moving slower this time the damaged leg preventing for much speed until finally he came to a stop in the middle of a opening where several paths were available. It seemed to him as if the coward couldn't decide which path to take. This seemed to be where the fun had ended. He raised his arm and took aim for the head.

The result was a predictable pile of ash. Pathetic. There had been nothing of wroth about this tri- he paused and his brows furrowed for a moment. There were several humans asleep in the warehouse to his left, oddly enough. But what caught his interest was an aura that was neither human nor vampire. It was a strange one that pulsed with power; power that was stranger than a human but weaker than a true vampire. Intriguing. From the angle it was close to the walls and higher up.

He used his third eye to look at her as he was certain that making it known that he knew she was there would scare her away. He would have grinned wider if he could. Spying was it? On him? She looked a little wary. As she should be. He had to admit she was pretty. Blue eyes and perfect face that was almost cherubic and soft looking blonde hair. She looked like a normal human but none of her on the inside was human. Nothing about her _felt_ human.

Her heart rate was strange. A normal human was two beats and a rest. Hers was a constant thrumming for a few seconds and then it sputtered for a moment before continuing a relentless pace. It sounded wrong as well. it was too quiet to be able to support the large body she had. A human was a loud pounding but hers was a quiet constant thrum that sounded like a dying bird that never did die.

_tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-_ rest. It lasted so agonizingly long… the rests of her heartbeat. Three seconds. Five seconds. Eight. For a moment he thought her heart had stopped and the interesting discovery was dead or dying. Then it started up again. _tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-_ and then it rested again. Like it couldn't decide whether the heart was dead or alive. Light and quick and quiet and then still and dead. Like it lived and died constantly.

_tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm- _eight seconds of rest.-_tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm- _eight seconds of rest._-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm- _eight seconds of rest.

Its aura furthermore. it just simply wasn't human. Her personality had a small affect and it wasn't threatening but other than that there was nothing human about it. He could focus on her scent as well. There were several human scents in the area but hers had to be the one that was thick in the area; it simply smelled too strange to be human. Pleasant but strange. Almost like a perfume that was seductive and alluring. There was a scent of fear in the air and he wondered how shed react to him revealing he knew she was there watching.

He looked up to be met with the startled face of a young woman with blonde hair. She was staring at him but apparently was caught when he looked at her. she simply looked panicked. she moved away from the window clearly trying to hide and he listened to that strange thudding of her heartbeat increase. Perhaps this mission was worth something after all. At first glance she looked like a normal human from what he had seen but she wasn't human at all. He was certain of that. Definitely wasn't human and she definitely wasn't a freak either, nor was she wolf, nor vampire, nor any other supernatural creature he had encountered. A mystery was always worth inspecting and he had the vague sense he had encountered a creature like this before yet he could not remember what or where. Now he was curious. Power like this simply couldn't go to waste and that tny little woman he had observed simply glowed with it. Not nearly enough to challenge him but certainly enough to interest him.

He had been bored of late but possibly he could manipulate his master in such a way that he could leave the manner and investigate this woman, this interesting creature. At the very least she would be fun. Perhaps he would tell his master he had discovered a new breed of something. A new idea occurred to him that made him grin widely. He wouldn't have to tell his master anything. She didn't realize but she had failed as a master to give orders that would lock him inside the manor. He had never taken advantage of this before because the interest wasn't there.

After all what of interest had been outside the estate before now? His master had not carefully read the journals like she should have. She hadn't realized that orders to stay inside after every mission was necessary. The largest reason he had never taken advantage of this loophole his master had left open was because if he had even been caught he would be thrown back to the dungeons and locked up. It simply wasn't worth the risk with nothing interesting beyond missions going on. He grinned wide the gears in his head working a mile a minute. But now….

Oh there was something VERY interesting he had found outside. Maybe it had a special ability he wasn't aware of. That would certainly be a amusing fight. At least watching it would entertain him more than simply sitting in his basement. Perhaps he could find out what species it was. He frowned. A hint of frustration in him. He was certain he had felt this sort of aura before. He grinned. He could play with it first though, mess with its mind.

With that thought he used shadows to quickly clean up the blood and all the evidence of what had happened. It was inevitable that she would come to see the aftermath and then he could have fun with her through that. He hid in the shadows and watched the window. Thirty seconds later he had not been disappointed. She peeked through looking confused when he wasn't there. She searched the grounds and he grinned when her eyes landed on the now vacant area where the male vampires ash had been. That too was gone. She looked uncertain now. He held back laughter. It would be so fun when she realized he was real.

This truly was a wonderful night.

xxxxx

"_**Twast all dreams, **_

_**she had told herself, erstwhile knowing **_

_**not all whist it seems…"**_

_Run. Tiny feet pattering on the cement. Run fast. Run faster. Not nearly fast enough. Tears streaming down her face. RUN! Tiny hands pumping with the tiny arms back and forth. He's going to get you! Little gasps of air from the cherubic face. __**Seeerrrraaasss! Im cooommmiinng for you!**__ A little girl running through the snow crying, turning corners. Running, running, running. Never fast enough, never ever far enough. Turn this corner, run past that house. Faster, faster, FASTER, FASTER and FASTER until… _

_She skidded to a stop with little pebbles flicking off her toes and her eyes widened in terror. The river… water rushing by in deep bright blue in the night. She looked up. Starry night sky. She looked down at the water. Bright sky blue. Water. Water. She clutched herself shaking. Scared. It was the water. Hated water. Scared of it as it flowed by. She backed up shaking her head. Not the water. She took a step back and nearly fell. She put her foot back by her stationary foot and turned around. She screamed. The path was gone. The town was gone. Water. Water was everywhere. Water surrounded her and her standing on a small boulder; the only mass of land for miles. Swirling and flowing by as far as she could see. She was alone and surrounded by water._

_**Seeeerrrrraaaassssss. **_

_Her eyes widened and she shook her head in fear. No… not him… but she could see him walking on the water towards her. His tattered yellow vest and white scarf, the sickly pasty white hair. Red eyes glowing bright and a manic grin full of teeth. His fingers rose with wicked claws ready to slash. The little girl started crying and screaming. _

_**Found you!**_

_Fifteen feet._

_**Seras! I'm going to get you!**_

_Ten feet. _

_**I'm coming Seras! **_

_Eight feet! _

_**Poor little Seras! **_

_Five feet. _

_**Your coming with me Seras! **_

_Three feet! _

_He stood in front of her, towering high above her head like the giant he was. His mouth opened wide and he cocked his head with a bit of drool coming down with his teeth. Ready to eat her. _

_**I found you… again… **_

She shot forward panting, shaking here hands clutched to her mouth. All this from her nightmare, from her dream. A dream. A dream. She grasped her knees, happy that it was a dream. Happy that she was safe in her sleeping bag cocoon she had made for herself and that there was no grinning lunatics in red from last night or terrifying figures from her distant past. She was here. Now. Alive. Safe. And hidden from everything. No birth records. No medical reports. No known names except for aliases and she kept her face covered. HE couldn't find her. She took comfort in that. Last night's sighting was a dream. Dream…

She shivered and shook it off furiously. She couldn't take the confines of her blanket anymore. It no longer felt like the safety net she had felt last night. She fumbled with the zipper and tugged. She yelped. She had left her sunglasses next to her shoes and therefore the light was absolutely blinding. She closed her eyes and scrabbled for her sunglasses frantically groping the ground for them. Twice in the last week! This was too damn often in her opinion! She got it on and stumbled onto her feet completely blind. It hurt but the pain was fading fast and she slowly could see again. She immediately looked up. The windows had been uncovered. She sighed. It was going to be a scorcher. No doubt about it. When it got hot the warehouse windows were uncovered or everyone and everything inside it was baked like an oven. Shed have to eat and leave soon.

She looked around herself. Everyone was gone. Even Willard was gone, not here cleaning or sleeping. She frowned. Just exactly how late had she slept? Why hadn't anyone waked her? She looked around the warehouse. It felt so big… It IS big but normally it didn't feel like a hollow cave like it did now. She shook her head and scolded herself for feeling lonely. She grumbled to herself and made her way over to the food bins.

She inspected the food options. Canned green beans? Watery and nasty crap. Spam? Her eyes widened in disgust. Who the hell in her group had stolen _spam_ thinking it would be _popular_ **to the group**? She quickly moved on to the other food. Canned fruit? She grabbed that. Loved the stuff. Unhealthily sweet and covered in syrup but seeing as how she was a street kid this was the best nutrition she could get. She went and grabbed a small can of stew.

She ate her lunch but something else was eating at her. Her eyes kept glancing at the door. What if… No! She wasn't even going to entertain the idea. No! Absolutely not! She growled to herself. She wasn't even going to consider it. but it still nagged at her. _It was a dream… it was a dream… just keep telling yourself that Seras_…. It wasn't working. She wanted to investigate her dream. Maybe if she did it would put her at ease. She felt nervous and jumpy. She felt watched. She had been busy in her thoughts but she had that creepy crawling feeling of eyes in her skin and spies on her head. Maybe taking a look would make things feel alright… _I'm absolutely hopeless_.

She gave it up as a lost cause and ate deciding she _would_ look. Later but first was getting ready. She wouldn't be able to come back till night fall since the warehouse could push 110 degrees Fahrenheit. Shed need to take a bag of food, a sweater, a bit of money, and to be dressed differently than normal. She went over to the clothing bins, the one labeled "SE" and started stripping. Her hands started to shake. That horrid feeling of being watched intensified. She felt leered at like she needed a hot shower. She glanced nervously around her. She was still alone. She shook her head. Being paranoid.

She continued stripping but she still felt it and it made her edgy. There was nothing she wanted more than to get out so she dressed faster. She roughly pulled on her nicer clothes, the ones without holes or rips, trying to dress faster. A black bra and matching underwear, a black tank top, dark blue jeans that fit her right and showed she really had legs, leather boots she had taken meticulous care of when it had been her turn to use the money. Seras frowned, they were getting tight and were the only nice pair she had. She sighed. Maybe she could beg off of Mona for some money…

She bounced on the balls of her heals feeling eager to leave. Five minutes ago. She still had the crawling feeling of being spied upon.

Also it was starting to get warm and she knew warehouse roasting time wasn't far off.

She walked over to the tables in the corner, inspecting the take they had gotten. Whenever someone pick pocketed goods like jewelry or gold, they were to bring it to this table and leave it for collection day where it would be taken to Maddis. She smiled dreamily... She absolutely **loved** Maddis. Maddis, the seediest pawnshop dealer in all of London; an old man with no scruples, except the fair price of an object.

He didn't ask any questions and he was every pickpockies fantasy. He never questions why the objects were brought in, where they were gained from, or how and always gave an honest opinion with a fair price and never cheated you. As long as the goods were good, the silver and gold actually silver and gold, you didn't cheat him and he didn't cheat you, then everything was fine. There was something about him and his warped sense of ethics which made him feel so honorable. He would knowingly take stolen goods in exchange for money and say nothing, but he also would defend a girl who he thought needed it.

Seras grabbed some gold bracelets and a necklace and put them on before walking over the mirror. She looked at herself sadly.

_I almost look normal…_

A golden haired beauty looking age seventeen looking pretty as could be with a sad look. She just had to comb her hair and grab a bag. She could pass as any other girl on her way to school. She hated it. She had an urge to smash the mirror, make it shatter. She loathed her own reflection.

She spotted something she really didn't like. She leaned in and inspected her forehead. It was pale white. A jolt of fear ran through her. Frantically she tore off her sunglasses, leaned in and inspected her eyes. Flecks of gold. She looked at her fingers and wanted to curl up and cry. It was too soon in the month for that. She had to tell Mona the moment she saw her. She put on her sunglasses and packed a backpack faster. The watched feeling was growing worse and it was almost oppressive by now. She left out the door and locked it.

She gasped feeling the sun tingling on her skin. The sensation of having eyes staring at her disappeared, almost like the sun cured her of evil spies. She glanced at the warehouse and the strangeness of it. It looked suddenly ominous to her. the dreams were really messing with her! she looked at the ground closely. No blood, no bullet shells, no large boot prints from equally large grinning maniacs, and no ash or sand or whatever she had dreamed up. The ground was clean.

So why didn't she feel assured that everything had been a dream? Why did her head keep trying to tell her it was real?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

mwuhuhuhuhuhuhuhu! I totally surprised you all with that didn't I? I was trying to be subtle with it. I mean I had made it clear in the beginning that Seras wasn't human but no one seemed to be really commenting on that. Except for this on person who pmed me about it. so I had put in all these little hints resembling enhanced sensory perception. Things like light sentitivity, enhanced eye sight, tiredness at daytime, alertness at night, enhanced night vision, enhanced hearing, obscure references to mysterious figures from her past. So the plot is actually starting to happen and Alucard is getting involved. And I'm going to update another story "Seras is wrong and Alucard is angry."

I love to shock people.

"ZOOOLLLLLLL MUTHEFUCKER ZOOOLLL" ahhh. I love you nostalgia critic. You're so funny.

Response time:

**lollotjoff96**: am I mistaken or did you just review requesting me to *she checks her computer to see if what she thought she saw was right. It is.* you want me to "Please _wri__**the**_ more"? It sounds like the request of a psychotic person who is killing you and watching you scream in pain. I'm going to believe the less potentially creepy option, and assume the innocent, normal request of: "Please wr_**ite**_ more".

**Ludifer**: thank you for saying that. My characters all have some purpose in the story.

(spoiler: especially Mona. *evil smirk* mwhuahahahaha! Now im leaving them to wonder what sort of role Mona has in all this!) My rule of thumb is that no matter what if there is a character(minor or otherwise),

they have a physical description, a general history of some sort, a dialogue and a PURPOSE.

I think it is completely pointless to put other characters in a story for no reason or definable purpose. Thankfully most writers on fanfiction have the talent and commen sense to not do this. But as I said. Most. There are a few _**unfortunate**_ stories floating around fanfiction where for no **apparent reason** they are there. _they are just there for the hell of it_! they have no f-ing role, no dialogue, no face description and no action. no purpose. Theres _no freaking purpose_! No reason! I mean! Jesus dammit! It makes as much sense as a live action Bambi! **They are just **_**fucking there**_**.** *pant. Pant.* oh. Sorry for loosing on you like that. I just get so pissed when I see really badly written stories. I don't mind bad stories. I even sometimes enjoy them. Its just really, _**really**_ bad stories where they have no purpose except to waste your time.

Seras edges away: oh no! shes loosing it. The author is going to foam at the mouth at anytime now.

Authro: no. No. Im good. I feel better. But you would be loosing it if there was a **jello chuckie** in your story.

Everyone in the story and reading: WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Author: Ill tell you what im talking about! The most vile and horrible story I have ever read on fanfiction. I cant remember the name but I wish I had never clicked the link. it was horrifying. It was a worst nightmare of any writer. Publishers would cringe if they ever knew the horrible raping of fanfiction I had witness. Ive seen too much because of this one fiction. I have seen some terrible stories but… my god! It was a bloodbath of personal creativity. It literally was so puke inducingly bad, so poorly written and with so little creativity that I couldn't even finish the second chapter. I think I nearly lost it.

It was just sitting there on the search features as a option. A AxS story. Looking so inviting and innocent. I hadn't realized the terrible sacrilege of writing that laid inside. I loved the axs pairing. The description wasn't even that bad. So I thought id read it. *author shudders.* I clicked it and by then it was too late.

Seras: what happened? What was wrong with it?

Author: EVERYTHING! Everything was wrong with it! Alucard was occ and a complete pussy! I mean he was wimpy and crying and the worse part was that this wasn't a crackfic. Seras doesn't even do anything and shes the main character! Integra is even more wimpy and cowardly than Alucard in this! All the characters are ridiculous, occ, they had no point to the story. The logic made no logical sense, they were all marysues, everything was generic, badly written, horribly underdetailing the important things and focusing on the things that were so completely insignificant. None of it was formatted right and sometimes characters were in there for no reason. I think it scared me most because nothing made sense. Its like Tim burtons mentally disable brother wrote it, took a shit on it and then submitted it.

The worst part? In the middle of the story, Alucard is being all weepy and emo and for no reason the writer spent four paragraphs describing a Jello CHUCKIE! Im not kidding. *Author starts crying in fear* it was a-a chucking doll made of jello running through the scene. Literally running past Alucard. It did this once. And then nothing happened with it. Alucard didn't even notice. The author just put it there. It wasn't even a crackfic. It made no sense. The story was ridiculous and it wasn't even funny or trying to be funny! I-i-i I cant take it. *starts sobbing in the fetal position. Then starts laughing. Ahahahahaha!

Seras: the authors snapped. Someone get the white coats and a tranq. The author is currently being strapped down and carted away with severe mental trauma that damaged her sense as a writer. This affliction is known as "sensitive writers critic". Its where a writer sees such a bad story, such a terribly written and badly premised story that it will take several therapists for them to get over the trauma of witnessing the death of reading. Whoever did this has no taste. It has been declared the worst story ever. I'm just thankful I've never read the story and won't be traumatized the same way.

For those who want to avoid the dreaded jello chucky we kind of remember the description and are pretty sure the description was something like:

"_sera was found after millennium hurt and in pain and it saddened Alucard that his fledgling was harmed. Axs it's not my best description"_

If you see that description… BEWARE! Don't click it! It's real and floating out there on fanfictiondotcom waiting for you to click it and become its next victim. We don't know the author and while normally we are more supportive but… if your reading this…

you need to stop while your ahead man… you traumatize more people with bad writing than Paulie shore being casted for a movie. Its like seeing Betty White naked!

-He will knock four times.

Anyone who likes axs stories… _Beware…_.

_**Beware**_ _the jello chucky…_


	5. The Twisted Fairytales Of Life

Okay, I know I made it easy for everyone to realize it was obvious which just made it weird when I said I was trying to be subtle. But there's telling a group of people a fact and then theres completely shoving it in their faces like they are morons. I was trying to be low-key about it but still let you guys know what's going on in a non-spoiler way.. Im so excited about this part. I've been try to get to this chapter for a while. I found a REALLY funny quote:

'Years ago, fairy tales all began with _"Once upon a time..."_ nowadays we know they all begin with, _"If I am elected I will…"_'

XxxXxxXxxXxxX

"_**Goldilocks was very tired by this time, so she went upstairs to the bedroom. She lay down in the first bed, but it was too hard. Then she lay in the second bed, but it was too soft. Then she lay down in the third bed and it was just right. Goldilocks fell asleep."**___

She couldn't find Mona and it was getting hotter. The scorching heat of high noon punished all and no shade could be found on the streets. The heat was completely unbearable. She was starting to sweat. She looked at the street sign. 9th street. She perked up. The park was a few blocks from here and they not only had a magnificent grove of trees that were excellent for shade but they had a water fountain to jump around in. she changed directions and headed for it eagerly. Soon shed be out of the cursed heat and blazing sun.

It was unbelievable how hot it was. London never got this hot normally. Even the streets were a little empty as everyone was obviously trying avoid the heat of the outside. There were very few cars in operation, even fewer people trying to walk the streets. She could hear the dull roar of a million air conditioners strapped to apartment buildings running up their heating and electricity bills. She turned the corner and didn't even have to look both ways to cross the street into the park. The town simply looked empty, almost backwater in population.

She grimaced in misery. The backpack was getting slick and hot against her back with sweat and heat. She quickened her pace and reached the cool shade of a thick elm tree. She sagged against it with immediate relief. It was still hot out but she at least didn't feel like she was being baked alive. She hurried in farther to the park playground which was also mercifully in shade. It was also empty. She stared. Ashe glanced around herself. No one. The entire park was empty as far as she could see and it was a complete square mile.

That hot out was it? Normally even in rain there were children playing or the occasional lovers out walking. She shrugged her backpack off and went over to the swing set. There was nothing to do and Mona could have been in any place in the city. Might as wait till before nightfall. Her friend would be back by then. She smiled and pumped her legs enjoying the feel of swinging. How long had it been since she had done this? Too long if she had forgotten how fun it was!

She stopped pumping when she was good and high and just enjoyed the feeling of herself swaying back and forth. Her chest felt tight. It was so hot… she peeled off her red hooded sweater and it felt so gross because it was sopping with sweat. Gross but very satisfying. She shook her head. It was so hot out she felt sluggish and drowsy. Too hot to stay awake. She eyed the tunnels. She remembered them from when she was little. The tunnels were seven feet long and cold metal inside. She had gotten away with it when she was younger.

The park was empty… it would be so much cooler inside it… she grabbed her bag and walked over to the steps, she walked across the log bridge and crawled into the cheese yellow tunnel. It was a hell of a lot smaller than she remembered it being last time but she fit. And it was a lot cooler. A touch of heat but barely there. yet she couldn't sleep. She wanted to scream. That anxious feeling from earlier was back. That creeping sensation of being watched crawling up her skin and settling into the back of her neck. It made her want to shiver and whimper in fear. She shook her head. _It was a dream_ she told herself firmly and put her head back down.

All she needed was some good sleep and when she woke up the heat of the day would be gone. She would forget all about creepy men and the strange dreams. Shed just be asleep for an hour or two and if she was lucky then the heat would go down by three Pm. She laid her head down trying to ignore that crawling feeling of eyes boring into her back. It felt wrong. She squeezed her eyes shut and felt sleep take affect. She was being paranoid, that was all.

She didn't see the shadow in the tunnel watching her with interested glee and a wide grin.

xxxxXxxxxXxxxx

"_**"Someone's been sleeping in my bed," Papa bear growled.**_

_**"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too" said the Mama bear**_

_**"Someone's been sleeping in my bed and she's still there!" exclaimed Baby bear.  
Just then, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She screamed, "Help!" And she jumped up and ran into the woods…" **_

Her eyes snapped open and she stared at the yellow surface before her, disorientated. What? Where was she? This wasn't her sleeping bag. It was too cold and hard for that. Where the hell wa-

Her eyes shot open and her sleep gone. Oh! Oh god no! She peeked outside of the tunnel feeling horrified. It was pitch black and all sign of the sun was gone. She was stuck outside on the other side of town. The wind blew through the trees quietly. To get back she'd have to brave some of the worse neighborhoods in London. She shivered starting to feel cold. The park looked so uninviting at night. It was making her frightened. Years of developing street smarts told her that she was in a bad situation. Anything could happen… she could run into drunks looking for a good time. A lone, at most decently, good-looking girl, wearing nice clothing walking the streets at night? That was just asking for it!

How was it that she had slept so long? How the hell could she have been so careless? She had slept long past the hours of safety. She grabbed her red sweater, thankfully it was dry, and pulled it on. She grabbed the straps of her back pack. The moment she found the back she fumbled frantically with the pouches… come on! Come on! She had packed the damn thing in there! she found the pepper spray and gripped the thing for dear life.

Her breathing quickened as she stared nervously out of the tunnel. She swore she was going to have a panic attack right here. The pepper spray felt like such a useless means of protection; like a cheap consolation prize to give her the illusion of safety. How was a cheap small five inch tube supposed to protect her from the creeps, rapists and murderers roaming the city at night? What the hell were the creators of pepper spray thinking? This didn't give any sense of comfort!

Pepper spray was designed to protect a person but as she knelt there in the tunnel staring out at the tree line, at night, she felt more vulnerable with it than without. She wanted a tire iron! She wanted an aluminum baseball bat or a crowbar. Something metal and threatening she could carry around that clearly said "_don't even fucking try it or I'll brain you to death!_". This wasn't protection! This was like a god damned beacon saying 'helpless girl with a terrible defense mechanism right here'.

She glanced at it. FUCK! It was all she had! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! At least it gave her something to grip onto when she was afraid… she reviewed her options. Trying to go home was out of the question. The only way to get there was through the dangerous parts of town where drug deals happened, men were found drunken and robbed in the gutters and no smart woman was outside; they were inside with the doors locked and a baseball bat at the ready by their beds.

She could stay here… she hesitated. It sounded appealing but there was no telling who or what wandered past here at night. It could be a harmless couple, a homeless man or a hurtful gang. If there was a gang she could only hope it was the harmless sort that just graffiti things and caused a little trouble. Otherwise she could be in trouble and no one could save her. She rejected the idea of staying in her little hidey-hole. The park was too empty. No one could help her if she had a time of need.

That meant moving somewhere else. Where could she go though? Where? The only church she knew was across town as well, over the bridge so no sort of sanctuary could be found there. staying out in the streets could defeat all purpose of being safe. She could find an all night store and stay there? there was one a street over. If she pretended to shop for a while she could burn off an hour of nighttime before she was kicked out for loitering. She blinked… Just exactly HOW LATE was it? How many hours of alertness would she need? She didn't have any money except these stupid bracelets and she hadn't gone to Madis's yet to-

Her eyes shot open! That was it! She'd beg Madis for a night of sleep! He lived above his own store and his soft heart for girls in need would win him over for sure! She would be safe there for certain! He was only four streets over! She climbed out of the tunnel slowly while slipping the bag onto her back. She hadn't seen or heard anyone and the park was empty. She slid down the children's flagpole and landed an unimpressive two feet below. She stepped and sank through the dirty sand till she reached edge.

Her heart was trilling nervously and the anxiety of the situation was killing her. Her legs were tense and everywhere she looked here was a pervert hiding behind a tree to grab her. She untwisted the safety for the pepper spray and held it up at the ready, feeling ridiculous and contrarily defenseless. Everything about the park had taken on an ominous tone. The shadows were no longer harmless silhouettes of trees but dark shapes of monsters hiding the real monsters. The trees gave her no safety or refuge. The quiet made her hands shake unsteadily. The cold settled into her skin. She shuddered. The unease made that lately familiar spine-chilling creepy feeling of being spied upon come back, but this minute it was ten times as worse as before. Oh why now?

It felt just as real as before and it wasn't helping the jumpiness she was experiencing. Already she wanted to jump out of her skin and crawl back into the tunnel. She walked hrough the park her eyes glaring holes in the path and every tree, bush or shrub for danger. Thankfully none came and she got to the edge of the park unscathed. She relaxed and called a little but that watched feeling remained. It was really starting to bug her. It dawned on her that maybe she really was being followed. The dreamed couldn't have affected her that badly. She could be being followed currently by a _regular threat_ that was _real_.

She spun around and looked. There was nothing. Just the threatening dark tree line devoid of life. She swallowed and laughed at herself nervously. She was being a ridiculous idiot. The situation was just getting to her. She shook her head and walked briskly towards Madis's pawnshop. Four streets over. All she had to do was avoid danger for four blocks. That should be simple. It _**is**_ simple. Yet that irritatingly new and unhappily familiar weight settled onto her skin. She shivered from everything but the cold.

It should be simple… So…

Why did she still have the urge to look behind her for a stalker that felt like it was watching eagerly?

_**XxxXxXxX**_

At first had hadn't know what species she was but the more he watched the better an idea he got. Amusing… who had done such a thing for this to be the result? Vampires weren't meant to couple with humans. The girl clearly knew that she wasn't normal but had no idea of exactly **what** she was. It was a small disappointment because it was also clear that her power was completely untapped and she had no idea how to use them. Those humans had been following her and he was curious how she would handle things.

xxxxXxxxXxxxx

"_**As she was going through the wood, she met with a wolf, who had a very great mind to eat her up, but he dared not, because he wished to play games with the girl first. He asked her where she was going. The poor child did not know that it was dangerous to stay and talk to a ravenous, wicked wolf."**_

Seras was so stressed she had no clue how she had managed to walk the three streets and she was distracted with fear she hadn't realized danger when she was walking down the last block. Self fulfilling prophecies had to be true. A lone, at most decently, good-looking girl, wearing nice clothing walking the streets at night really was asking for it! She was surrounded before she had even realized they were there.

Men. Eight of them. All smirking like they had found the grand prize. She clutched at the pepper spray. She highly doubted it would help against eight full grown men. At the most she could take down two before the rest got to her. She had never fought so many at the same time. Some of them had steel pipes in their hands while others had their hands holding a pocket knife. A few had no weapon at all. They were chuckling and Seras couldn't help herself. She prided herself in being brave but she didn't see how she could save herself. She felt tears pricking at her eyes. Some of them were leering at her and she felt naked and ashamed.

The first one spoke. He looked to be the leader because he was the ugliest and fastest of the lot of them. And he seemed drunk.

"Come on girlie. Be a good little girl and give us a small peek-a-boo."

The others around him chuckled amused and there were a few wolf whistles. She grit her teeth in anger and raised her pepper spray. They laughed and she ignored it. From the group she was facing, four seemed drunk or on something or a combination of the two. She could take down two by blinding them with the pepper spray if she was fast and if she fought dirty she could take down another two. It still was terrible odds. A hand touched her back and she spun around brandishing her pepper spray. The man backed off laughing.

"Whets te mattr girlie? We's only loking fer ah little fuuunnn… Take off yer shirt!"

More catcalls and they jumped back and forth like a boxers feet taunting her, daring her to fight. There was this ugly blonde man with a pinched face who had a sick smirk on his face.

"Boo! Boo! Peek-a-boo!"

She breathed faster and tightened her grip on her only weapon. She heard the others closing in from behind and it was now or never. One reached out to grab her chest and she sprayed him right into his gaping mouth. He chocked, gagged and dropped the lead pipe he had been holding. The others were stunned in surprise at how she had handled it and she quickly sprayed two more in the eyes, the ones holding weapons, before the rest got over their shock. Three down and incapacitated for the count before the fight has started! Better than she expected. Maybe she could make it out of this! Her stress had made her hyper strong and quick and she had never moved so fast before.

She spun around quickly and punched the first guy she could see and raised her foot to jab him in the crotch. He went down with yells and curses. He was one of the ones with a knife. She quickly sprayed his face for good measure and he screamed from the burning squirt.

Another grabbed her arms and she raised her foot and jabbed his knee in with the ball of her heel before he could get a good hold of her. She felt no remorse when she felt it break under her boot. He screamed and fell to the ground as well.

Her breaths came fast and ragged and stared wild eyed at the three remaining, adrenalin pouring through her system. They were angry. This clearly wasn't going how they had imagined it.

The fat leader spoke. "Shit! I think she broke Reilly's kneecap!"

The third one shouted. "Thompson! Hold the bitch down!"

The really ugly one with the blonde head and pinched face she now knew was named Thompson made to grab her. She tried to kick him but he anticipated that and grabbed it. She tripped and fell. He fell onto her grinning and grabbed her arms. She fought back desperately. Flailing her arms and legs, pushing on one side trying to roll him over and get up. All the adrenalin had drained her of strength. With all the adrenalin gone from her system she was so exhausted. She pushed and pulled and tugged but couldn't get free. She struggled and screamed.

He slapped her and snarled "Shut up!" she didn't stop. He put his hand over her mouth. Mistake. His pinkie was right on her upper lip. It wouldn't take much to open her mouth and bit down. Yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. She squeezed her eyes shut. The bad memories… Little Rosy… her fault…

The others had made their way over to her and were standing over her. Worse were that some of the others had recovered and were angry. They had picked up their knives again. She struggled again and tried to scream but the hand muffled it. She couldn't even save herself. She was weak! Weak! The tears pricked their way out her eyes and down her cheeks.

The ugly fat one spat on her face and the others surrounded her.

"She was absolute hell to get down but you got her Thompson. Good work. I think she needs to pay for what she did to Reilly. Lets cut her up." There were some jeers of agreement and she started to shake in fear. The fat ones grin widened. He knelt down and ran his finger on her face.

"No! She won't be so pretty then! I say we get what we came for in the first place and _then_ we cut the slut up!" there was a great cheer and suddenly Seras felt sick. She wanted to puke. Great hot tears welled on her face as the pinched face reached for her pants. This was in the middle of the street. Hadn't anyone heard the noise? Hadn't anyone called the police? Wasn't anyone going to help?

There was a great crunch and a horrendous gurgle.

_Splash_…

There was a great hot spray of warm liquid. She stared in shock as red splashed and dripped onto her face. She stared into the Thompson mans eyes as he slowly slumped onto her and rolled off next to her. The fat one screamed.

"What the fuck? Thompson?" he looked at Seras and she realized he thought that _she_ had killed the Thompson man. "You bitch!"

he walked forward and made his way to her, raising a fist like he had meant to punch her. It had started all over again. There were screams of fear and the sounds of crunching. The noises of growls and none of it made sense. She heard blood splashing onto the ground all around her and all she could see was red, red and more red. Thick oozing red covering her face and clothing. She got up and looked around herself. So fast… her eyes wide with fear. She couldn't believe it. She looked around her some more trying to understand. Dead… all of them… Dead…

the fat leader laid on the ground, his throat slit and the hand he had almost used against her was cut off. The pinched face ones head had been cave in by some blunt force. All of them had been brutally beaten. Her eyes widened with horror. Who had done this so fast? _What_ had done this? She spun around looking for anyone at all. She shook and gripped herself. Like a sopping wet cat. Her elbows were sopping wet and she felt a line run down her nose. It was a dark liquid dripping from her hair onto the side of her nose. She knew what it was and felt completely numb. Se felt that creeping feeling. Somehow she found the courage to speak.

"I know your there!" a moments pause and she was shocked when someone chuckled. A mans mocking laugh. It echoed off the streets strangely. "Answer me!"

"How delightfully helpless you are. You're a walking contradiction. Strong one minute and then vulnerable the next. How... Amusing… like some fairytale where the brave knight rides in…"

She listened to him speak and for a moment she thought something had touched her leg. She turned around quickly, trying to catch a glimpse of something; she saw a flash of red but nothing else. She felt frantic and fearful. Because if he could do this to those men so easily there was no telling what he could do to her. Because there was the distinct inkling that her dream from the night before wasn't exactly a dream. There was another chuckle and she flinched, spinning around when something touched her hair. She looked and there was nothing but the chuckling.

"Show yourself!"

"If it pleases the helpless maiden." He mocked.

She felt arms wrap around her and she thrashed in panic. She couldn't move! She tried to scream but her mouth was covered and the other arm tightened around her waist. How strong was he? She kicked his knees and tried to raise her arms to hit him. There were more amused chuckles. He sniffed her ear.

"You smell like those disgusting men. Though that's no surprise. You're covered in their blood." She stiffened feeling confused. How would he be able to smell that? Her head felt exhausted from everything that had happened. Inhuman! It explained the strength and a sharp sense of hearing! "They were right about one thing. You _are _a very _pretty_ little thing."

Her eyes widened. She felt a wave of nausea remembering what had nearly happened to her. For a moment she was grateful for the inhuman rescue but now she was at _his_ mercy. She renewed her resistance but she was too tired for more than anything but feeble struggles. She heard him laugh and all she could hear in her mind was the men taunting her, saying 'boo' and jumping back and forth.

"Their dead and cannot harm you anymore. Now doesn't that make you happy?" he sounded so gleeful. She didn't know what to think of that. A weight settled onto her neck. She tried to look down but she couldn't see it. Couldn't move her head even. "I think Ill be seeing you again soon. In the meantime wear this always."

The arms left her and she stumbled from the loss of support. She hadn't realized how tired she was. She looked around her feeling dazed. The street was empty and the shock of everything that had happened was settling in. Everything had taken on a dreamlike quality as she shuffled forward slowly. She hadn't even realized she was at Madis's door until she was in front of it. He was in front of her and his face blurred in and out of focus, the small shouts he gave so fuzzy and from faraway. Oh… had she rang the doorbell without knowing it? His hand touching her face and it came back into view covered in red. She collapsed against him and her eyes closed.

"_**She said to her, "Grandmother, what strong arms you have!"  
"That's to take hold of you the better, my child."  
"Grandmother, what great legs you have!"  
"That's to run the better, my child."  
"Grandmother, what great red eyes you have!"  
"That's to see the better, my child."  
"Grandmother, what sharp teeth you have!"  
"That's to **_**eat**_** you the better!"  
And upon saying these words, this wicked Wolf threw himself upon innocent, naïve, Little Red Riding Hood; and he ate her."**_

OoOoOoO

I love fairytales. I wanted a theme and for some reason fairytales came to mind. Maybe its because Seras could be Little red riding hood, Verona the mom, Mona the grandmother and Integra the wood cutter of this chapter. As for the attack I think its inevitable. For one if anyone you have ever been in that sort of situation you know being in a bad part of town after dark is scary shit. So its not only somewhat realistic but convenient. I know this seems weird to all of you . It's even weird to me. But how can I segway Alucard into seras's life any other way? Its not like I can just have him walk up to her and say

"hi, I'm a vampire and im pretty certain you're a half-vampire. You amused me at first so I stalked you with the intent to fight you. But now I find you very fascinating."

I mean. That just won't work. For those of you who are still wondering just exactly why Alucard is so interested in her all of the sudden…. Well that would be a spoiler wouldn't it? So keep reading. Same thing goes for the mysterious past of Seras. I keep making weird allusions to her past which if all of you know my style by now, know that her past will be revealed. Of course.

After Thursdays traumatizing events involving a certain terrifyingly bad story and a … gelatinous doll… I've decided to spare all of you the agony of trying to search Hellsing for good AxS fanfiction. I know some of you think that there are already clubs for it but I just think certain, really good stories that should don't get to make the cut. Ill do a top one hundred starting with my favorites. There won't be any particular order to this list. They are just fantastic axs Hellsing fanfiction which is too notable to be passed over.

First five (personal favorites):

1. "Truth Lies Within A Scarlet Rose" by **SilverMissi**. Sadly this story seems to have been dropped. Its fantastic and well written. If you guys read it I'm sure you'll love it too. Its got a complex relationship that seems to blossom as Seras grows up. Alucard isn't overdone, Walter is this freaking awesome madmax magician whos like a cool grandfather figure, and you really can feel for Seras and her spunky attitude.

2. "Half Awake, Half Alive" by **fire in the blue eyes**. This is a notable story. What happens in this one is that the story begins and Seras admit her love to her master. I cant a to much because it would spoil things but as the stories tensions heighten we really get an idea of her angst and the frustration of everyone involved. I just love the realism, the rebellion and ultimate heartbreak stemming from her love of her own master. The other works **fire** has done are also diffidently worth the read because their own premise REALLY **KICKASS** just from the summary/.

3. "Lamentation of a dead world" by **Saharas**. This one has to be a ultimate favorite for me and what's even better is that it's still going. The author has started writing again. YAY! What's goes on here is fantastic. Simply we start out with Seras who it turns out is working for a new vampire hunting organization and that there is going to be a assassination attempt on the queen of England. Seras is much stronger here and more confident in herself. Seras remarks how completely pissed she is that the organization has sent her to England for a mission when she never wanted to go there again. As the events in the first chapter progress it becomes clear that Seras had run away a year ago from Hellsing and she now fears she will be caught by them because she is in England. Ultimately Seras is captured by her old master and Alucard is captivated by the new and improved Seras. It's a very good story and I recommend it.

4. "Moonlight Seductions" by **SultryGamer.** If anyone likes a tale of how love conquers all, then this is for you. It also comes with a nice lemon on the side. By lemon I mean a entire crate full of them. Its slightly hard to read because of the format but believe me its worth the read and there is some soft love involved. It's not a giant orgy story because there is some actually believable falling in love things. Seras gets stronger, Alucard battles some inner demons and ultimately the solution the story offers is beautifully: love. If you like steamy lemons, hot innuendoes, strong sexy Seras's, Walter helping love triumph over ice queens, Alexander getting his ass kicked, protective Alucard's, love, fighting, plots, betrayals, flirting, scheming Pips, a evil spell that needs to be broken and a Jealous Integra then this is most definitely be for you.

5. "Antique Love" by **Adlevo**. Oh my god. What the hell could I possibly say about this story to convey just how exactly FUCKING AWESOME it is? Im gonna try anyways. The story starts out with Seras carrying on the good work on the noble Hellsing name. As the first chapter continues its revealed that Seras is nearly 100 years old and that Alucard has been gone the last fifty years. Because of this she feels bitter towards him and has been trying to forget her old romantic feelings for her former master. She feels abandoned. Then she realizes shes been followed by a vampire and shoots him only for it to be her former master: ALUCARD! The events continue to move on and Alucard reveals what he wants from her. (What else?) things don't exactly work out how he wanted so he kidnaps her. id explain better but that would spoil this epic tale. Suffice to say is that this story follows Seras as she deals with her anger, confusion, depression and a very hungry master wanting only her.

See ya next time.

-He will knock four times.


	6. Dreams Of The Past And Present

"_**Sleep**__**, **__**sleep**__**, beauty bright,**_

Dreaming in the joys of night;

_**Sleep**__**, **__**sleep**__**; in thy **__**sleep**__****_

Little sorrows sit and weep."

_A very tall woman running around the room was going to the dressers and emptying them, while she sat on the floor in the corner, sucking her thumb, watching. The woman was putting on double layers of clothing and taking little coins to put in her pocket. She looked nice. But she also looked huge. Ten feet tall. It was odd just how big this woman looked. In fact everything in the room looked massive. The four poster bed with a rich velvet canopy seemed three feet of the ground from where she sat. _

_She heard a sniff and saw as the woman started sobbing, her legs giving out from under her. She looked like she was filled with fear. Seras blinked as she felt her body toddle up and over to the tall lady without her. The woman looked at her and she lifted her up onto her lap, holding her tight. She couldn't control her body! She suddenly felt very small sitting on the woman's lap, being clutched at so desperately. There was something comforting about the woman's embrace, something that made her feel warm and safe._

_The door opened and her head turned without her to the door. A blonde haired man hurried in looking frantic. Her head turned and her fist was suddenly in her mouth being sucked on._

"_Isabel! We don't have much time! It's now or never!"_

"_But what if he-"_

"_You stupid woman! We've talked about this! Think of your child!" Seras felt the woman clutch at her tighter. "Go now while he's distracted with Zivago's mistake! You only have four minutes now to get through while the patrol switches out."_

_The woman picked her up and ran for the door. The images faded to black._

"_Seras!" a voice called_. Somewhere a dish broke. What a strange dream. A man yelled foul curse words. She felt like she was being pulled up through a fog.

"Seras." The voice called again. A mans voice. "Seras wake up."

Her eyes snapped open

She squinted. Her eyes feeling unfocused. A piece of floating jewelry. Was it the pretty woman's? She tried to grab it. Mona would love it. She couldn't raise her arm and it moved away on a cloud of white. The jewelry moved. Oh. How strange. Her vision got slightly clearer. Oh! Glasses! The jewelry was glasses.

"Oh good, I was afraid you would need a hospital."

Hospital? She blinked, confused. Had she been injured? DID she need a hospital? Everything was foggy and strange. And she felt so hot… there was something she needed to tell someone but she couldn't remember… she tried to sit up but found she was pushed down again.

"Don't do that girl! You'll just exhaust yourself again. I spent all night awake making sure you weren't going to die on me and now you're trying to ruin all the effort I put into it. I'm an old man. I should have been asleep. Gave me a hell of a scare last night. You turning up last night, shaking like a leaf, mute and covered in that gruesome way like some horror film."

The man spoke again and it was so conversational that it was strange. "I thought it was your blood you were covered in. scared the bloody hell out of me. Thought yer were going to keel over on my front door step."

Blood? Covered. Covered in blood. Her eyes opened wider as she remembered. _Give me a peek-a-boo girlie!_ Red everywhere. her breathing quickened and she shook her head fearfully. _I'll be seeing you soon_… he was going to see her soon. She couldn't protect herself against that. _How delightfully helpless you are… _She tried to scream but she had no voice, her throat was so dry. He shushed her and soothed her quietly, rubbing her shoulders.

"It's all right. Your safe now Seras." She relaxed slowly but she was scared. "They can't hurt you now. You've had a bad ordeal. Good riddance, those ruddy pigs. All over the telly this morning. I won't tell anyone what you've done because you deserved protection and no one had tried to help last night. So I'm helping you."

He held a cup to her lips and she gulped the water down gratefully, chocking and sloshing the water out of her mouth when she tried to take too much.. Her throat felt sore and dried up. But she felt even more confused. What she'd done? Madis wouldn't tell? What had she- her eyes widened. Madis thought she had killed those men! She opened her mouth to speak but he held up his hand.

"You don't have to say anything to me girlie." That was the wrong thing to say. _Give me a peek-a-boo girlie! _The fear of what had nearly happened came and great hot tears pricked. _Boo! Boo! _She threw herself at Madis crying hard. _Be a good girl and give me a look!_ His arms wrapped around her tighter and she felt him pat her back awkwardly. She clutched at him with snot and noisy tears and hiccups. It was gross and embarrassing but she wanted the warmth and safety he had while she came to terms with everything and vented.

When she was cried out she sniffled and felt completely gross, not attractive at all with snot coating her nose, tear stains and the undoubtedly red puffy eyes she had to of had. Madis looked really awkward and out of his depth with the crying female thing, but he smiled in understanding and pushed her back down.

"All better?" She blushed and nodded. He pulled up the blankets, wiped her face and helped her with another sip of tea. There was a tinkle of bells from down below. "Oh! I've got me customers! Get some sleep. Ill be wanting my bed back soon so you better get well." she blushed even deeper realizing where she was.

"Thank you Madis."

But he had already hurried downstairs. She closed her eyes and drifted off feeling so drained. Even then her dreams weren't exactly peaceful.

XxXxXxX

"_**Better never to have met you in my dream than to wake and reach for hands that are not there." **_

_Rosy crying with red dripping down her arm slowly. She tried to say sorry but Rosy was gone and the red made a river which turned into a pile of men on the street. all bleeding. Some started to get up and she tired to scream but her voice wouldn't work right. She couldn't move. She could only watch as they drooled blood and their rotting faces reached for her. BOO! The closest one exploded with a loud bang. And then another one. And then another one. And then all the rest were killed and they dissolved into a pile of red. She was left alone with the red river._

_The river grew and grew and then started turning purple. Then the purple got lighter and light and it was a deep blue. She shook in fear. The water… all around her… she shivered and froze. The water surrounded her. She grabbed her throat. Couldn't breath!_

_Arms hugged her from behind and she tried to move. She still couldn't. She breathed in finally gasping for air. He chuckled from behind and licked her neck. She yelped in surprise, her face red. He was back. He sat down and pulled her onto his lap bridal style. She tried to move, protest, scream, fight back; anything but she couldn't move or speak. She suddenly realized the red was gone, so was the water. She saw the chair which was high-backed, almost a throne, and a table a few feet away with a wine bottle and cups on it. The room was dark but she had no trouble seeing that they were in some sort of dark, stone room. She saw a set of steps leading up which gave her hope._

"_You can't leave." He sounded amused. She huffed in annoyance._

"_Yes I can." She blinked. Oh… she could speak. Did that mean she could also move? She found she could move very well as she nearly succeeded in getting off of him. He retaliated by pulling her back onto his lap with a warning growl. "Let me off!"_

_He laughed. "No. I find that I rather like the feeling I get from holding you. Your very soft." He accentuated his point but stroking her hair._

_She blushed angrily and swatted at his hand. "Don't touch me! Sorry to disappoint but I want off of your lap. I'm not a dog."_

"_You're right. You're more like a cat… kitten." She grits her teeth in annoyance. How he knew about that nickname was beyond her. "Oh I know lots of things and you tell them to me just by thinking them."_

_He read minds? Now that was just plain rude! She felt furious. How the hell could she escape if he knew every thought in her head? _

"_Simple. You don't. As I said I'm not going to let you escape. I've a mind to keep you kitten." _

"_Don't call me that!"_

"_But you are like one. For example, your fear and avoidance of water." she bit her lip and looked down at her lap. She felt ashamed. She hated herself for that. "Which makes me wonder how you became water phobic?"_

_She kept her mouth shut. She wasn't going to talk with him… or do anything else for that matter. Which made her curious of what he looked like. Which only made her furious at herself for wondering because now she wanted to look when she had just promised herself not to have anything to do with him. He laughed uproariously at this._

"_You're very amusing! You think yourself in circles!" she pouted. She couldn't help it. She didn't like being laughed at. "This is going to be very fun." he snaked his arm around her stomach, pulling her closer. She squirmed nervously and he tightened his arm in warning. She stilled. _

_She didn't quite know what to make of him anymore. She knew what he was capable of yet he wasn't acting like a nightmare or a monster. He killed people with no remorse yet he saved her. She didn't even know what he was. He could read minds, he could smell blood, hear from far away, and he was frighteningly fast and extremely strong. And she was certain he was VERY tall._

"_You flatter me. Perhaps you should go on about my dashing good looks and infallible charm with women." He teased. She blushed in embarrassment._

"_I don't know what you look like." She admitted. He knew that but she was trying to avoid the point or at least prolong it._

"_That can be remedied easily." His fingers slinked under her chin and prodded them as if to tip her chin up and make her look. She kept her chin down and her eyes straight ahead._

"_I- I don't want to know." She winced at how unconvincing she sounded to even her own ears. She was a little curious what her he looked like. _

"_I can tell your lying. I know you want to look." She turned her head to the stair pointedly. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Maybe you could tell me if you think my eyes are pretty."_

_She made fists and ignored it. She wasn't going to look no matter what. What scared her slightly was the fact that she was so calm. There wasn't fear or anxiety in his presence. She had seen him kill a man. She had felt terrorized for two whole days because she had the feeling of being watched. She had seen him kill eight men this time. She had felt him grab her and lick her ear. And now he was displaying the ability to invade her dreams and read her mind. He was also keeping her pinned in his lap which she was becoming alarmed by how comfortable it was. Where was her fear? Shouldn't she fear him?_

_He chuckled. "A conundrum isn't it? Perhaps you are not scared because you know that I saved you last night? Or maybe it is because you think this is a simple dream and that none of it can hurt you? Or is it because my lap is very comfortable?"_

_She shivered from his words. It did seem awfully like a dream. But she couldn't deny that he had saved her last night. She couldn't stop remembering; looking down her chest, pinned underneath him and the button of her jeans being reach for as she struggled and screamed. So it was both? He was right though, they would never be able to touch her again. She couldn't help but feel pleased by that._

_He ran his hand along her cheek gently. "You're a ferocious little kitten aren't you? This was a delightful surprise. I hadn't thought I would ever see another of your kind."_

_Her head shot up to look at him. How did he know that? How did he know she was different? She was distracted by what she saw. Up close. Strong masculine jaw lines, wine red eyes, black hair, and a grin like he knew something no one else did. She also couldn't help but notice the lean, muscled she was pressed against, which she hadn't noticed before in her frightened state._

_He laughed. "See something you like?" she blushed angrily and looked down. "What's the matter? I thought you liked my dashing good looks." He teased/ She blushed furiously to her roots but remained silent. Her taste for conversation was gone. He knew. She couldn't stand being reminded of it._

"_How do you know?"_

"_It was not that hard to tell. You don't smell human. You don't feel human. You don't sound human."_

"_**I AM**__**human**__! I AM... I am…" She said, not realizing how desperately she had said it, how she had sounded like she was begging, repeating herself over and over and pleading. She felt him grab her chin and her eyes were forced to meet his. He looked like he was studying her. She averted her eyes nervously, not certain why but just certain that she didn't want to be studied.._

"_I… see…" he sounded mildly disappointed for a moment but she glanced at him and there was a steady and interested, determined look in his eyes as if he had found a challenge to take up. She didn't like the look in his eyes. Suddenly there was a marvelous light-headed sensation. All of a sudden all she ever wanted to do was to stare into his eyes and listen to his voice. It lulled her gently, like a silky lullaby. "You are _**not**_ human and you must accept that. I will be coming later to speak with my pet; you must get rest and recover."_

"_Oh… And remember to keep it on your lovely neck." _

_She nodded dazedly. She wanted to ask what he meant but it felt like everything was floating away and fading to black. Her eyes drooped and she felt so warm and relaxed. It suddenly had the feeling of sleeping while in a dream. So peaceful and restful she slowly curled up and enjoyed the sleep. Nothing else mattered but that wondrous sleep._

XxXxXxX

"_**Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong **__**answers**__**…"**_

Integra Hellsing was not a happy woman. In fact she was usually content but she found that her agitation was increasing lately and hadn't declined yet. Her reports kept directing her to the same damned area for vampire attacks. They were, fortunately, small and quiet attacks, so there was no media spreading hysteria about jihadist groups or cultist serial killers to worry about, but they were still attacks never the less. What worried her was that they were all being concentrated in the same area lately. That wasn't normal. It just wasn't.

In her book whatever wasn't normal meant bad things to expect.

They were all concentrated by the Thames river now. Before she would have to send her vampire to places all over London or even England. But now… they were all happening in London. None oif the attacks had happened outside of the London city. Wales, Norfolk and even the upper reaches of Scotland had been quiet. The attacks recently had all been one or two victims at a time all near the same stretch of river right here in London. And that's what worried her. That wasn't normal behavior. It just wasn't. Vampire attacks were, have been and always supposed to be random acts of violence or hunger. They always had been before for thousands of years. But from what she was looking at it was nearly like a military operation. It was far too organized and directed to be normal.

Missive statement 1: File # H4895676Red

Report of autopsy: 

Medical Examiner: Edwin Beld

Victims: Powell, Sarah. Powell, Michael. 

Estimated time of death: 11:30 to 11:50 Pm, Thursday, 6-15-09.

Time of discovery: 6:56. Friday, 6-16-09

Location: Tholas fishing and warehouse district, Northern Thames River, London England.

Cause of death: Exsanguination.

Affiliation of victims: Spouses.

Defining Marks: Puncture marks to the neck as the evident vampire bite and obvious cause of death. Superficial lacerations to the shoulder, possibly by thin claw marks intended to hold down the victim while the fatal bite was administered during the initial attack.  The bite was administered to the cricoid cartilage and the suprasternal notch of the trachea and isthmus of the thyroid gland. The trachea was crushed along the sterno-clavicular articulation. Other marks such as how clean the wounds were suggested that the attack was very fast and the victim died with no struggle, proved by a lack of defensive wounds, a low count of cortisol and adrenalin from stress and the pupils of the eyes were not dilated upon death. 

However the most distinctive feature is the lack of metamorphism from human to ghoul. This is due to post mortem blunt force trauma to both victims' heads to the central frontal lobe of the brain where it then exited through the occipital lobe. In the past no vampire or vampires has bothered to destroy the brain before the ghoul matrix has taken effect, which led to both bodies being preserved and left where it was found, so it should be taken as a special note that this was not a random attack of a newborn vampire. Further individual autopsy reports on both victims are attached.

It was unusual that the vampire who made the attack had bothered to destroy the brain. She agreed with their coroner. It was strange. It bugged her just how clean and direct the vampire feeding was. She narrowed her eyes. She didn't like where her thoughts were taking her but she had been sending Alucard out to the warehouse district along the Thames river an awful lot to take care of the strange vampire attacks and lately her vampire had been acting… well _strange_. For the last two nights he had been absent and whenever she called for him he was late, slow to respond. And he seemed distracted or distant. Then there was how he was acting when he was paying attention. His mood changes were almost disturbing and they had also started recently.

She was used to the idea that he had a bizarre and often morbid sense of humor but he had started to grin or chuckle quietly at the strangest times for no reason. She was used to the amused, hall-mad grin he bore which made him look so serenely amused and threatening at the same time but it was really noticeable now. But what struck her was strange was how last night he had been lounging on the couch in the corner. While that was neither strange nor unusual it usually led to him beginning to talk or pestering her. Instead he was quietly bored one second, looking oddly frustrated, and then he begun frowning the next… before he had just stood up and left through a portal. Her vampire's behavior was beyond strange from what she had come to expect of him.

It concerned her that there was the possibility that Alucard could be the one instigating the attacks. The strange attacks had started two weeks ago and she couldn't decide whether that was connected to her vampire's behaviors from the last two nights but it nagged at her. It didn't seem likely that if he was behind the attacks for weeks now that all of the sudden he would begin acting strange two days ago. No. There was something different making Alucard behave strangely. She stopped for a moment and wanted to laugh. Alucard behaving strange? God her perception or what was normal must have been shot to hell!

She let her mirth out and it soothed her agitated nerves. She refocused her attention. It still didn't completely eliminate the possibility that Alucard was behind the attacks. She had always had the anxiety that she would fail as a master or that the seals would break because there was no telling what would happen if Alucard were to be freed. She shook it off and decided to reinforce the orders on no killing. Regardless of who was behind the attacks there were all being staged along one area of the Thames4 suggesting that they were organized and wanting something very specific in that area. She would have to send him out for some investigative work.

She still had an uneasy thrill of dread that her vampire could be behind the attacks…

Which meant she could be unwittingly giving him a free reign to feed.

The best course of action would be to once again pour over her predecessors journals.

She was disturbed from her anxious thoughts by a crisp knock on the office doors. She straightened up and cleaned a portion of her desk clear eagerly. Calling for him to enter. He came in rolling his cart with tea and fruit and she tried hard not to drool. There was nothing more that she loved more than afternoon tea with a side of mango and kiwi. There was a slight knowing look to her friends face as he pushed the cart up to the desk and began setting out the dishes. She rather had the feeling Walter was silently laughing at her need for a daily ritual and her obsessive love of teatime. But her butler, guardian and friend had the perfect English manners and crisp professionalism that made it easy for him to not say anything.

She leaned back with her tea in complete heaven. Perfect bliss in a cup with two dollops of hot honey mixed in. He stood to the side ready to serve if there was anything else she would require. \

"Thank you Walter. I needed this."

"I should imagine so Sir Hellsing." He gazed at the pile of paperwork with a moment of pawky humor. "For it seems you will need all your energy if you're every going to succeed in the war of letter openers and bureaucracy."

She glared at him balefully from underneath her hair. But her attention was distracted from her ire to another pile of paper on the cart. A thick stack of them. She slumped in her chair resignedly and groaned. He chuckled slightly and grabbed them, straightening the edges and handed them to her. He began briefing her on the contents while she skimmed over them. Classic signs of a vampire killing.

"Don't fret Sir Hellsing, for it is only one case but one that comes with much paperwork thanks to the local bobbies getting calls. The media is voracious and unstoppable as ever. This has spawned many calls with claims of being the killer, questions about the murder, or people claiming to actually know the killer. Most likely a load of tosh but all statements were taken down and complied into the file which the inspector was all too happy to hand over to us along with the case. The media apparently have been having more than just a field day over it; it's been a downright circus and celebration for them. They claim that it is a massive serial killing and that it is breaking news. That horrible Skilder woman was already escorted off the police building premises for snooping and asking questions. Shall I get a statement of what she has learned?"

She laid down the file feeling disturbed by its contents. "Do that, please Walter. We are going to need all the information we can get before the whole picture is clear. I have a feeling that the recent activity is from something much larger and what you just handed me is connected in some way, if I could just understand it."

He smiled comfortingly. "You'll get it, I know you will. You always do. I've watched you grow from the little girl I dandled on my lap alongside your father to the strong, fierce woman you are now."

She smiled contentedly. Walter couldn't possibly replace her father because in her eyes, no one could. But he had been a loyal butler, steadfast guardian, patient teacher, playful companion and kind friend since she was a little girl. She couldn't imagine any other person staying in her life like he did. There were certain roles people around you had. And Walter had a special role all of his own that just… fit him… in a why she felt no one else could…

"It's quite a large file. Would you prefer me to just tell you the primary things and leave out the ridiculous claims?" he had a knowing look in his eyes and he laughed slightly when she guiltily nodded; like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar being offered to avoid punishment as long as she didn't do it again.

"Well, the event happened four nights ago on Lulworth and Crewy's Rd, in the uptown business section, at about one O' clock in the morning. Confirmed reports of screaming four five minutes were heard but this was a rather unsavory part of town and not one would go outside to look."

She looked at him queerly. "You mean to say that **no one** even looked outside their window?"

"I'm afraid so. You must understand that in that section of town is rather rough and that once the street lamps are lit, people lock their doors and do not look out their windows or leave for anything. It is essentially the slums and crime rates are terrible. The police force refuses to let new recruits go near the area until they have become more experienced to go on patrol. The victims are proof of this for they are part of a local gang and all eight of the victims were prominent members; their leader" he pulled out a photograph of a filthy, overweight man "was among them."

He pulled out more pictures, various mugshots and then pulled out the autopsy reports. The crime scene photos were so revolting she had no words to describe it. Bloodbath and that was the way the vampires liked it. There were the classic signs of bites but the amount of blood on the ground spoke of an opposite of a feeding. There was simply too much on the ground and it didn't seem that much drinking had been done. But the pure strength, the speed of the attack… Those were the ringers of the attack that made it a Hellsing matter. No matter how psychotic the human no human could use their arms alone to simply tear eight men apart with their bare hands in under five minutes.

"It should be noted that foot prints of blood led away from the scene suggesting that the culprit went east down the street but the trail ends through an alleyway. Hair follicles, foreign blood and skin samples from one of the victims suggested that there was a struggle. The skin sample was found under the victim's fingernails and is currently being processed by our coroner. Further results on the genetic tests will be handed back to us soon."

She furrowed her brows. "Walter… this was a large blood bath. Everyones blood was pooled together. What do you mean by foreign blood?"

"Strangely enough that it why confuses everyone of the case. Blood tests which were originally being done by the police coroner had been suspended but not before they were studied. The blood was… odd."

"Explain."

"Well at first the consistency and color confused everyone before it was taken to the genetics lab. It was a chalky black and had hardened and dried over as if it were days old while the bright red blood of the victims were just congealing with the heat rising. It should not be so. Blood, whether from human or vampire is always a bright red, or when dry, a brown, color. Yet this was black. And also it had dried hot and powdery while the blood around it was still hours fresh."

"And when it was taken to the genetics lab?"

"Edwin Beld was actually cussing up a storm and raving about the perfect human genetic strain when he got it under the microscope. He said he had never seen anything like it. It had not as many chromosomes as a vampire but most definitely more than a human. It had regenerative properties when he tried to splice some blood cells but had to continuously add fresh blood to make the sample wet enough to work with or else it would dry out too fast; just like with the crime scene. Also he noted that the human genetic strain has always a flaw which makes some of us forgetful, while others are sharp, some of us clumsy while others are balanced. But the sample he had…"

There was a strange steady look to his eyes that she didn't like… It seemed… _disturbed_ in a way that she couldn't place. She motioned for him to go on. He cleared his throat and did so.

"It was perfect, sir Integra. Perfectly patterned and most likely all physical features which make up the body would be inherited from the parents. The way Beld was speaking, it was as if he thought someone had created the perfect human body. Yet that is not what disturbed us. Beld said that there were other traits which were… inhuman… He said that the genes had several characteristics of a human, but there were some others that resembled a vampire."

She stared.

"Walter? How can it be human but also be vampire?"

"As I was saying, it was neither. Beld is still researching this and looks like a child with keys to the candy store but I believe we will get more clarification later. Right now all we know is that there was a perfect mixture of the human genome and something that is, or at least resembles the vampire genome. He said it was nothing he had ever seen before. This isn't to say that it is actually vampire and human mixed but it certainly seems that way."

"Are your saying that someone could be trying to mix human and vampire and _create_ a vampire?" He took a moment with a thoughtful expression, and cleaned his monocle before replacing it over his eye and answering.

"In my opinion? I certainly think so."

O0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Not the best chapter I've done really. I think I did sort of good… But it just feels as if something's MISSING… like there is something not all there about this segment of the story I could have put. Usually when I have a successful chapter is feels as though everything clicks into place… but as I wrote the story I have the nagging sensation that the chapter isn't right… that I need something else. So then I thought! WALTER! Hell MARY F-ING YES! I F-ING LOVE WALTER! He wasn't going to be in this chapter but the change makes the scene feel so much… Cleaner or is good a better word? Anyways, it gives me this joyful content feeling I couldn't get from anywhere else.

God damn Walter… We all love you so much! Go forth on those dental wires of friggin awesome doom and make us some tea in your nanny apron. (Not kidding, they actually show in the anime, THE Walter C. Dorneaz, aka Angel of Death… In a frilly pink apron pouring tea and handing out cranberry scones. I don't know how he pulled it off but he still looked friggin badass afterwards.)

Also you'll guys find that I practically make his stuff up on the spot. I'm not kidding. The "Skilder woman" is actually an important plot point and it took me less than ten seconds to think her up. I'm not exaggerating. She wasn't even part of the story and as I was typing, I suddenly was typing that a reporter woman was caught on the scene snooping. Then I figured out a name for her and changed it. I come up with a lot of the dialogue and action that goes on without a lot of deliberation which could attribute to my ability to write these chapters and submit them within an hour. *damn, secrets revealed.*

But sadly I have standards and much to your eternal agony I actually take my time. You guys know the first five chapters of "Submit to me"? I wrote those all in two hours. That means it took me ten hours to write about 52 thousand words. But here I want to slow down and deliberate on what would be better or what could I do better. So sorry for the wait.

Response time:

**Red**: *throws up her hands to cover her face* NO! NOT THE PUPPY EYES! My one weakness! How did s\he know?

**USWeasilgirl**: I know what you mean. When I first discovered fanfiction I didn't even know there WAS Hellsing fanfiction. I was all squealy and hyper when I discovered that there was, in fact, Hellsing fanfiction on fanfictiondotcom. I was lucky enough to get the good ones as my first Hellsing fanfiction reading. I found a couple of crappy ones but that's what originally turned me to axs (I always loved that pair but became obsessive after reading a really good story.) I wouldn't have even considered writing (because for some reason I felt that my writing skills were crap) Hellsing fanfiction until I got a Pm requesting that I try writing Hellsing stuff. I won't name names. Well that's only because I actually, accidentally deleted the message by clicking the wrong button and now I can't remember the person who pmd me. So in a twisted way, you guys all owe this one person for the enjoyment you get out of my stories.

**BlackcurrantLover**: Hey… You seem to have a lot of awesome Hellsing stories on your favorites list… I'm trying to remember this one fic I read which I loved but forgot to favorite. Anyone care to help me? In this one fic, Seras get pregnant with a prophesize sword. _(Stop. I know what you are thinking. It's really not as bad as it sounds.)_ The sword grows within her and has to be cut out. Alucard eventually gets together with her and they end up going to Romania where Seras meets a previous fledgling of Alucard's named… Katrina? Katherine? It was something like that. Anyways the sword is sentient and Seras fights awesome with it. They have to defeat an evil… (Cant remember exactly what) that's in Alucard's castle. Seras actually dies close to the end but is revived back to life because of her connection to the sentient sword. I just can't find it. It's driving me crazy. Anyone know the one I'm talking about? I love it so much and I just want to read it again.

Sorry about the grammar errors but I type fast and I just can't stop. You'll also be amazed to learn that I chicken peck type. This means that I only use my middle fingers to type, while the rest of my fingers are just sort of curved outwards. So I end up typing too fast to put a comma and I usually just rely on my word documents auto correct features. Which usually is why you'd have "shed" instead of "She'd". Blame Microsoft word 2003 and not me. It recognizes 'shed' as a proper English word and doesn't consider the context of the sentence to be weird.

**AnimexFreakz**: *stares at the screen feeling horrified* "_btw the eight guys and her fighting back thang reminded me of a part in twilight where Bella almost gets raped. hahahaha." *_A single tear comes out the authors eye.* _reminded me of a part in twilight _No… _reminded me of a part in twilight _No. _reminded me of a part in twilight _NOOOOOOOOOO! *starts frothing at the mouth hysterically* _reminded me of a part in twilight _my stories are NOTHING like twilight! Vampires don't sparkle! _reminded me of a part in twilight _They don't look like the gay Jonas brothers rolled into the glitter factory! _reminded me of a part in twilight _I-I hahahahahahahahahahahah-

Seras: Damn. The authors gone off the deep end.

Mona: Yep. The idea that her work was anything close to twilight was too terrible a concept for her to take.

Seras: Yet she has all four books on her book shelf. Literally a foot and eight inches away. Right next to her desk and computer. Its on her shelf between the chronicles of Narnia and Livingstons "wonderous strange" book.

Mona: I know… what's up with that?

Seras winces watching the author go crazy: Damn… that's going to hurt in the morning.

Mona: Yowch! Did she just jump out the window?

Seras: Yep. Psychotic breaks will do that to you. Especially if twilight is involved.

-He will knock four times.


	7. Necklaces With Personal Space Issues

It's 1:11 in the middle of child development. How should I slack off- I mean spend my time? I know! I'll write one of the stories I've been slacking off on for all this time! I have a confession to make... The whole reason when I was first writing **submit to me** that I went on and on and on and... (two days later) and on- well you get the point- about the scenery is because I had no ideas coming to me and the more descriptiveIi wrote the more my head would pop up and go 'hey! heres an idea!" so I know it drove you guys nuts but it helped me. Ever since I refrained from doing this for your guys benefit... Well it's like I can't write right on demand... So I'm gonna have a short nonsense joke thing going on before each chapter to get me thinking. YAY JOKE PARAGRAPH! ALL HAIL JOKE PARAGRAPH!

xxxXxxxXxxx

Joke paragraph begin:

He approached her sisterly and she backed away looking stricken with panic and all things roger rabbit. lolz

"What are you going to do to me? Who are you?" She stuttered, backing up. He grinned and said nothing. Advancing on her sinisterly like Elmo. (oh dear I've had too much sugar) She fell over, having lost her balance from the largely unnecessary assets of her chest. She was top-heavy. Seeing her in a vulnerable position he advanced closer only to trip over a random box of donuts that were somehow heavy enough to make him loose balance. Seras began singing the hamster dance while doing the cha-cha.

end joke paragraph. (that actually works by the way. Plus I want to see how many random paragraphs I can write.)

XxxxXxXxXx

Strangely life had picked right back up where it had left off. It was a rather startling feeling, like watching everything moving back into place while she could not figure out how to continue. It was the feeling of being wired and on high alert while everyone else was in a lethargy. They had asked where she had been, what had happened, why she was crying and if she was alright. That was the hardest part. She had no answer for it save for a lie. Yes she was fine, no she wasn't hurt. She had been attacked at night, in the city, by two men but was fine now because she fought back and won. They soon accepted it and moved on.

What else could she say? She was barely understanding this... Inhuman stalker. She felt jumpy all day, expecting him to hold to his word and come for her like he said he would. Everyone gave her nauseatingly understanding looks of sympathy, assuming that her skittish behavior was from the attack the night before. She couldn't tell if it was only from this promise to come for her or if it was a combination of that and the attack, but she felt caged. She wasn't used to this. She wasn't prepared in the slightest! How did one go about preparing themselves for a supernatural being, that clearly had a hidden agenda, promising to come for them? She had no doubts that he was planning something to do with her but she couldn't think what it would be. She went to sleep expecting more dreams or to be woken by him, being taken in the middle of the night.

Nothing.

The next day she saw no sign of him and the following night felt nothing. Saw nothing. Heard nothing of him.

As certain as she was that he was real and that things were far from over, she felt herself relax. Mellowing out from the anxiety enough she even decided to start going outside again, maybe start helping Mona and the others the way she knew best. Theft. It was what she was best at. She felt good. Three days and nights of nothing and she might not see him for a while. She tied her laces on her shoes tightly, feeling a little bubbly and much better. She adjusted her denim jacket, picked up the newsboy hat and hid her hair underneath.

She leaned over to grab a water bottle and paused feeling her shirt shift. Her hand went to her neck and she felt a thin chain. She looked down confused. It was the necklace she had been wearing two days ago. She hadn't recognized it and assumed it was from the collection table. Hey brows furrowed. Hadn't she taken it off last night? She could have sworn it had been tossed back with the jewelry bin that was due to go to Madis. She didn't remember putting back on. She shrugged and reached up undoing the clasp and taking it away from her neck.

She took a moment to appreciate the craftsmanship. It was a small black rose that looked like a real diamond or at least a very convincing fake. Each petal was well defined and shined in the light of the open rose. The silver chain that had been around her neck was so thin and delicate that it was a wonder that the small tear drop shaped rubies and black pears didn't break it. She was fascinated with the small wooden dragon that curled around the base of the rose. She could see that each minuscule scale, horn and claw had been hand carved. It had muscles that rippled. The miniature ruby for its eyes were so blackblood red and expressive and even his eyebrows and lips were pulled back in a snarl. She could see each individual tooth and tongue and even the ridge for the gums was amazingly defined. It looked in motion. It looked alive. It really was too bad that they were going to sell this to Madis. It was so nice.

She wistfully thought she could keep it. No one would notice... There were so many sellable things. _Surely_ she could keep this _one_ thing. But she threw the thought out and went to the collection table and put it down with the other jewelry things that had been gotten. There was a line no one was to cross. Stealing from others was acceptable because it benefited the group... But stealing from the group was unacceptable because it damaged the groups ability to eat or buy supplies. She firmly turned her back on it and walked away. She leaned down again to get her bottle and thats where things got eery fast.

Her neck felt heavy and there was a weight that swung forward under her shirt. She paused mid reach her fingertips nearly touching the plastic container for her water. She raised her hand up and felt along her neck. She froze as she felt a chain around her neck. Slowly and deliberately she reached up and around and undid the clasp to bring it away from her neck. A small wooden carved dragon with its jaws gingerly biting its tail encircled a black rose that looked like diamond dangled in the center on a thin silver chain of fine quality. The pearls and teardrop rubies glittered at her innocently. She stared at it wordlessly.

No... That... That... She had taken it off... It was over on the table... With the bangles that Madis was going to buy. She kept her eyes on the necklace as she slowly and carefully walked the ten feet to the collection table. She put it in the bin and tried to find the one she had put on the table earlier. She didn't find one. A slightly hysterical giggle crawled its way out her throat as her nervousness got a little too much for her. She looked at it certain that it was in the bin. She turned around and walked away to her backpack.

She reached up and touched her neck relaxing when she found bare skin. She sighed sliding her hand down and froze her eyes bugging out as she felt a thin chain around her neck. Her hands shot up around her neck and she fumbled with the clasp hurriedly pulling it from her neck wincing as she tore a few wispy hairs from her neckline in her haste. She goggled at the necklace before her. The dragon on the necklace was practically smirking at her while it bit its own tail. She quickly walked over to the table and unceremoniously threw it in.

She hurriedly jogged over to her water bottle and felt for her neck. She screeched in fear as she felt it on her neck. She didn't think about what she was doing but just acted. Each hand made a fist around their respective sides and with a jerk she tore it from her neck and threw it down yelping as a lance of fire licked its way around her neck. There was a burning pain for a moment and she looked at the dragon as it looked back and she got the sense that it was looking disapprovingly at her. She blinked and suddenly it wasn't on the floor where she had thrown it. She gasped and felt her neck. Sure enough it was there.

Unbroken, whole and dragon grinning up at her again.

Her breathing quickened and she deliberately reached up and yanked it from her neck with the intent to break it. She cried out as the painful fire from earlier blazed along her skin making her feel like someone had taken a lit cigarette to her skin. She had the feeling that that would happen every time she tore it from her neck. She dashed forward and grabbed IT, her backpack and water bottle. She'd just toss it in the river. That would fix it.

XxxxxxxX

Tossing it in the river most definitely didn't work. The first time she just tossed it in. She felt her neck, smiling as it remained cursed-necklace free. The moment she turned around and stepped a few feet away her neckline suddenly felt wet. She had looked down and screeched in outrage. There it was again.

The second time she felt smarter as she tried a different variation of the idea. She had taped it to a rock and flung that as far in as she could. She watched it hit the water with a dull plop and a slightly large splash. She reached up to her neck and gawped as the wet thing just glittered up at her. And there was definitely no taped rocks on it either. She was starting to get slightly hysterical and desperate. This was driving her crazy. No! Scratch that! She was 65 percent certain that she was crazy already. _I'm loosing my mind! Thats the only logical explanation! Grinning lunatic vampires that invade your dreams and waking life plus a clingy necklace that pops back on you when you look away just DO NOT happen to sane people!_

XxxxxxxxxxX

The next forty-five minutes she spent trying various methods to get rid of her necklace and everyone of them failed. After twenty-five minutes throwing it away from her or burying it underground clearly didn't work she then resorted to trying to break it. Worse was she was certain its bite was worse than its bark. And it had a sense of humor about that. Everything she did to break it she felt.

The rock she used to try to smash it with caused her eyes to water as she felt something hard and heavy hit the hand she had used to wield said rock. She had nursed her hand for a good five minutes as she curled up on the floor cradling the damaged hand. When she examined it there wasn't any physical damage. Her fingers weren't broken, sprained or even throbbing like they normally would after a injury. She glared down at her clavicle where it rested, daring her to do her worst. She couldn't see any burn marks where she had felt the fire so at least she knew it wouldn't or couldn't cause real injury.

She had stepped on it and had promptly had revenge taken upon her as some invisible something stomped on her other foot. She hopped up and down on her foot for a minute until it faded.

In a fit of morbid fascination she picked up the dragon, brought it to her mouth and bit down on a wing. A flare of pain angrily flashed through her arm and she screamed hard as a large something sunk its teeth into her arm. She scrabbled back in a panic as she felt several somethings sink into her arm painfully and tore flesh and she felt her arm snap and the pressure became too much for the bone above the elbow. She screamed in agony and felt down crying for several minutes until the pain stopped. She felt her arm and blinked as no pain came. She looked at her arm hopefully and raised it. It... Wasn't broken? She lightly felt her arm and even gave a squeeze. It wasn't broken! But she had felt it! It had been so real! She rolled up her sleeves and her skin remain unmarked. There wasn't any blood.

After that experiment she didn't feel brave enough to try tossing it into the fire or the battery operated blender like she had originally planned.

She had spent another thirty minutes trying to calm down, cope and try to come to terms with the seemingly permanent... addition... to her life. She looked down at it around her neck glumly. It had seemed really pretty at first, then it was scary and now it was irritating. She looked down in defeat. It was there to stay. She had inflicted so much damage on it but it didn't even have a scratch on it. Plus anything she did to it caused pain to her proportionate to the type of damage she gave it. She also had no idea where it had come from but she had a hazy memory from her dream, something about keeping it on. Which meant that the presence of IT was all HIS fault and she needed to _KILL_ HIM the next time he came around. She gave a heavy sigh and got up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and grabbing her water bottle. She gave it one last glare before she resigned herself to the idea she might actually be crazy. She put on her sunglasses and went outside.

XxxxxxxX

Her practiced eyes wandered over the crowd, looking for full, bulgy pockets, easy to unclip bracelets, a necklace with a weak chain, iPods or cellphones. Nothing. 12:30 in the afternoon and she had nothing. The streets were rather dull. The rain cloud blues were keeping all the promising tourists and prospects inside and anyone outside we're not good targets. They had a wary look to them, and some of them even looked at her with recognition before hurrying on faster, clutching their coats tighter about them. Quiet streets and nothing to do... And IT was still around her neck. Today was just turning into a fiasco. She shrugged and just started walking aimlessly. She had nothing to do. Maybe she could find Logan? Make another bet? She had promised Mona she wouldn't...

But she had to bring some kind of gain back. She couldn't just bring nothing. She struggled with the idea. Logan didn't bet items. He was solely a cash runner. How was she to make money without Mona noticing the way it had been gained? She could say that she had been to Maddox already? Maybe it would work... Certainly wouldn't be the first time she broke the rules. She hedged on the idea. If Mona found out she would've be upset... But if Mona didn't find out then she would be _very happy _with the money brought to the table. She was leaning towards it when she remembered her friends hurt face the last time her rule-breaking was discovered. She cursed and labeled it a bad job before stalking off. There was no gain today and she highly doubted that anyone else was making any progress worth something.

There was a sound she heard that she dreaded. She glanced at the black clouds that threatened rain, the rumbling sounds in the far off promising thunder and lighting. Panic clawed at her. Water... Frantically thinking of the closest shelter her eyes scanned the library and she grimaced. The last time she had stayed the night in the library she had jammed herself under a desk to avoid a dedicated librarian who had stayed the entire night filing. But she was too far from the warehouses. She hurried forward, scrambling frantically towards the building. Fear was her only thought. Her fingers fumbles with the door handle numbly and she cursed before she could get it open.

She slid inside hurriedly and looked around warily, feeling out of place in such a domestic place. She was a homeless street kid and here were the so-called 'model' citizens. Librarians stacking books, little children shrieking happily as they ran through the isles, their hassled mothers and fathers trying to catch them, shushing them urgently. People browsing isles. High school students using the computers. She wandered in, trying to look casual and blend in. She needed to get to the back rooms stairwell unseen, or else she would have to leave when closing time came. Leave. Go outside. Into the rain. She shivered at the idea, a choking feeling coming over her. She felt like she was being boxed in, squeezed to death. She shook it off. No. She was inside. She was fine.

She hurried in further passing stacks of brightly colored books, hassled parents and bored librarians. She saw the supply closet and considered hiding in there till after closing but knew that the janitor might be cleaning. The bathrooms weren't an option because they would be checked. She cringed as she saw the beat up sofa in the teen lounge. It was a massive thing with a hollow bottom and a lip that went to the floor. She knew she could safely hide there but the floor underneath was disgusting. She glanced around seeing people all around her. Not the time to do it. She sat on the sofa waiting for some of the crowd to at least leave the room. Her eyes flickered all over the room waiting impatiently for the right moment. A librarian rounded the corner, the teens focused on the computer screens, a mother was trying to quiet her baby frantically. If there was a time then this was it. She snagged a pillow, got down on all fours, lifted the bottom and slid the pillow under a couch leg. She squeezed and slid under as fast as she could and slowly pulled the pillow and her backpack under with her. She crinkled her nose at the dust and candy wrappers covering the floor. She put the pillow under her hair and waited.

And waited...

It felt like hours and she was certain it was because it had been noon when she began and it sounded quieter now. The time had been filled with the dark, dirty underside of the couch and random snatches of conversation she could make out. Boredom had filled her. Her eyes drooped a bit. Wouldn't hurt to get some sleep before closing time. She probably only had an hour or two before the library was safely locked down and everyone was certain to be gone. Then she could brush herself off and sleep on the couch. Her last thought was an idle one... Certainly there would be no one in the library at night...

XXxXXXX

The annoyingly loud sound of a vacuum cleaner rumbled by her head, and she stifled the yawn that threatened as she woke. The wave of light and the rumble going back and forth by her head signaled that either she had only slept an hour and it was closing time or the library had recently decided to have a night janitor. She hoped it was the former and not the latter because then she would not know when he would leave. The vacuum gradually moved away and became fainter as other areas of the floor were cleaned. She didn't know what time it was and how long she had to wait until it was safe, so she closed her eyes and tried to make sleep come again. Eventually that calming feeling came again, making her lids feel heavy and the sounds around her became muted. She was fast asleep again within minutes.

XxXXx

_Thwump..._

It was a jarring sound that woke her and she stifled her cry of surprise. She clamped her hand over her mouth and nose to silence the sounds of her heavy breathing. It had startled her awake. Slowly she turned her head towards the source of the nose, and was immediately alarmed to see the toes of shoes unnaturally close to the crack between the floor and the lip of the couch. Someone most likely knew she was there. She waited to see what they would do. One of the shoes moved back and came forward once more.

_Thwump..._

She stiffened. Forget 'most likely'. They most definitely knew she was under the couch. She searched the crack for any other boots, any sign of reinforcements. As far as she knew it was just her and this person. She could make a run for it? There was a dry, amused chuckle. A mans voice.

"Come out whenever your ready sleeping beauty..."

She violently shivered in fear and clamped her hand even tighter over her mouth to force back the scream of fright. Oh god. That voice. She knew she would never forget that voice as long as she lived. She wanted to close her eyes and squeeze her hands over her ears tight. It was HIM. She looked back o the crack and again nearly shrieked. A single scarlett eye gleaming at her from the crack. He was laying down on the ground and staring at her. She could make out the left side of his face Her view of his face cut in half by the lip of the couch. There was a smirk on his face. He chuckled again.

"I will not hurt you. I promise to be a good boy." There was a small laugh and she couldn't help but shiver. She wasn't certain if she could believe him. "Come on out, Seras."

She shook her head vigorously in answer. It wasn't as if the couch would protect her from him but she felt safer under something than how she knew she would feel out in the open. A motion under the couch startled her out of her thoughts and she saw his fingers under the edge. There were not doing anything but just laying there. Something came over her at that moment. This was her safe haven at the moment and he was violating it. He was a threat approaching her. She opened her mouth angrily and quickly scratched at his hand before drawing back. She felt a strange noise grumble in the back of her throat. There was a period of silence before he laughed uproariously at this. The laughter disarmed her and they strange urges she had been experiencing moments ago faded. He chuckled.

"Simply magnificent. Ready to come out?" She shook her head again, too frightened to speak. She had somehow lost her voice. She saw an eyebrow quirk upwards at her refusal. "I feel as though I am attempting to coax a frightened cat out from under a bed. You have five minutes to master yourself and come out or I will come in and join you."

Come out? Her knees were shaking and she couldn't even peel back her hand from her mouth. Then his other words sank in and she shrank back, shaking harder. She knew she couldn't run now. He was too fast. She knew she couldn't hide here. Even if he didn't make good on his little threat, that didn't mean he would just leave. It was the most one-sided war of attrition ever known. She couldn't let him just hurt her but fighting back did little. Her head swam and her lungs ached. She brought her hand away and gasped for air realizing she had been suffocating herself. Suddenly her voice worked once again and to her pride, she had indeed mastered herself enough to only let her voice quaver a little.

"S-stay away... I saw what you did to those men... I refused to be toyed with and to just lay down and be harmed. Nor am I naive enough to simply believe you wouldn't hurt me. I've learned better on these streets because I've heard that before."

She saw his eyes become intent, almost considering. "I know you would not. You are much stronger than that which is one of the reasons I have an interest in you." She blinked, feeling stupefied at the admission. She had expected mocking taunts about her strong front, or a laugh, but not any seriousness or openness. "Now, I can see you need to come out from under there without me standing here. You've spent three of your minutes. You have two remaining. I am not going to hurt you. Choose wisely."

She watched wide eyed as he got up and she saw his feet moving away from the crack until she could no longer see him. Stay under here, trapped with him? Or go out in the open where she had a chance to fight back? She didn't think she could quite believe him when he said he wouldn't hurt her, but there was a chance he was telling the truth. Which meant she had even more to benefit from coming out. She hesitated, chewing her lip nervously. She flipped onto her back, pointing her head and upper torso towards the underside of the couch. She reached out and gripped the edge of the couch bottom, grunting as she hefted it up, and pulled and pushed her way out. She snatched her backpack and pulled it out. She dropped it as soon as she was up and spun around, uncertain and expecting attack. She never expected a chuckle.

"Good choice coming out but you are a little dirty and candied." Her forehead scrunched together in confusion. She patted herself down and grimaced at the coat of grime. She began furiously wiping herself off and she saw what looked to be candy wrappers sticky enough to defy gravity on her shirt. Oh god that was disgusting. She heard his voice again. "Please, sit. There's no need for a lady to remain standing." He chuckled once more.

She hesitated a moment before sitting down on the couch she had just spent a few hours under. She looked around nervously before she picked out the outline in the dark. She stiffened but he remained casually seated on the armchair before her, his right leg crossed over his left. He didn't say anything more and she couldn't think of anything to say, let alone anything intelligent or useful. So she said nothing. She just looked and he looked back. It was the strangest feeling of a staring contest. His scarlet hue was unblinking as they glowed slightly, staring intensely. She had the urge to look away and felt somewhat uncomfortable under those eyes. She was starting to feel a little squirmy yet she refused to be cowed by him, so she met the gaze and kept it. It had been a full minute and her eyes were starting to feel dry, her eyelids quivering and twitching to blink and she forced them open, but his never so much as moved and his eye lids and eye still and unmoving. She shivered as she blinked. _Damn that was creepy._ She saw his mouth split open in a grin revealing teeth.

"You think so kitten?" He laughed quietly at her indignant look.

"Don't call me that!" He just chuckled a little more before resting the side of his head on his raised fist, elbow on the couch.

"I believe you have questions. I found it fitting to answer them at a time you were not stricken with fear."

She stared at him. And a moment of sarcasm overtook her. "Oh yes, Being trapped in a library with an inhuman lunatic who could tear me apart effortlessly is most definitely not a time I would be stricken with fear! How wise of you!" He just grinned wider, but said nothing. She considered his offer. She needed answers and he was offering to answer them.

"What are you?" was the first among many. A moment passed before he answered plainly and straightforward.

"A vampire." She tried to process what he said but the idea of it just wasn't quite a part of her universe. Vampires had never existed to her before, so it had taken a lot of shifting in her reality to swallow that one. It made sense though, unfortunately. Scarlet eyes, unusually sharpened canines, some mind reading ability, visiting her in her dreams, the speed and strength she had seen. There was no denying it.

"Why are you interested in me?"

"To answer that, you must ask a different question because the answers are one in the same."

"Which question must I ask?" She saw his grin widen and there was glint to his eyes that made her nervous.

"You ask what I am, but why do you not ask what you are? Forget this human dream you are so desperate to keep."

She couldn't protest his words for her mouth had ran dry. She trembled slightly and swallowed heavily. A weight in the pit of her stomach.

"Alright. Then what do you think I am?"

His eyes were considering her intently and there was a flash of disappointment. "Your choice of pronouns is very telling. You still wish to pretend you are human."

She ignored him and pressed on. "Answer me."

"Your a halfling. It's a rare occurrence but it's been known to happen every now and then. I have only seen one other than you." There was a eager sound to his words as he spoke. But she felt like she was wilting.

"I am not. I am human." She insisted, dismayed at the almost pleading tone to her voice. Something inside her wanted to dig her heels in. She was herself. She'd decide what she was.

He chuckled, a honeyed, rich sound to her ears full of amusement and mirth. "Well, I cannot deny that you are half right. Your parentage was a vampire and a human which makes you a halfling; half human and half vampire."

Her insides twisted sickly at his pronouncement and she felt sick with some sort of inner turmoil or grief. To hear such words felt like an accusation of her abnormalities and was a slap to the face. Her eyes burned hotly and she swallowed back her tears. She felt like her heart was burning in her chest. She had known she was unusual for a while but to be told that so casually...

"I don't believe you." She weakly said, protesting his words, the significance of what he had said and the very meaning of them. She refused to be labeled as a freak. She was human like Mona and Jed. She wasn't a freak.

He chuckled darkly, a rich sound filled with mirth with a hint of scornful malice. "Ah, I understand now. To you your halfling state makes you view yourself as abnormal therefore you want to believe with all your heart that your a normal little human. Tell me... How many times a month do you get sick? Two? Three? Four?"

Her stomach twisted sickly when she heard what he knew. How did he know? "Because the halfling I had met before also was sick at regular intervals. Now, tell me... How many Seras?" Her chin trembled as she shakily held up two fingers and quickly jerked her hand back down. Something in her couldn't bear to say it, she didn't want to answer but she wanted answers if he knew about the sickness; she felt forced into telling him about her shameful secret. She couldn't even look him in the eyes because of it, he made her feel weak. And she utterly loathed him for it.

"How?" She whispered.

"I know your condition, I have seen it before. What do you want to know about it?"

She changed her mind then as that hot feeling pressing at her eyes came back. A surge of anger came over her and she looked him right in the eyes. "Nothing. I don't want to hear anymore about this! I accept the fact that I can't get rid of you or convince you to leave me alone but I don't have to talk about this anymore! You will respect that!"

There was a moment of silence before he laughed a little. But his eyes and voice were neither mocking nor filled with malice but there was a sense of supreme confidence in his beliefs. "Very well. Bury your head in the sand if you'd like but sooner or later you will come to me for answers and help. However if you do not speak of it then I will not speak of it, provided you are aware that I am allowed to tell you about my own abilities or about vampires. I have come to understand that you wonder what abilities I possess. I assume that will be allowed?"

"That's fine." She hesitated but knew that she owed him for that small kindness. "Thank you."

His eyebrows rose up before he smirked. "Comfortable enough now to thank me?"

"I'm stuck with you aren't I? I'd rather get used to you then be a frightened little prat that scares easily." She shot back at him.

He laughed. "Ah yes! I had hoped you would not remain timid and frightened of me! That would be no fun at all!"

Suddenly she remembered something and decided to act on her emotions. She ignored the flare of fiery pain as she reached up and ripped his 'gift' off and tossed it at his face. It hit the nose and fell into his lap. "I didn't like it at all you asshole. So I'm giving it back."

He was silent for a moment and started laughing. He chuckled and lifted it by one end admiring the broken chain, the clasp dangling on the attachment with the broken part pinched between his pointer and thumb finger. "I take it you tried breaking it and found out its effects through trial and error?" There was a very amused grin on his face. "How many times did you try to break it?"

She glared at him in sullen resentment. "Eight."

He looked surprised. "Really? Most people stop at twelve."

She didn't like the implication that she had given up too soon. So by way of explanation she said "I bit it. It returned the favor. After that I didn't think throwing it out the window or into the fire pit was such a good idea anymore."

He stared and his grin widened into a smirk. "You bit it? Then you got a dragons bite?" He looked incredibly entertained.

She crossed her arms tightly and huffed. He tossed it at her nose forcing her to blink. She opened them and found it hadn't landed in her lap like she had expected. It had already repaired itself and was clasped around her neck like nothing had ever happened. She muffled a scream with a pillow and threw that at him. Then she reached up and unclasped it deciding she didn't need to hurt at every attempt. She tossed the necklace at him again and dodged when he threw it back not wanting to land back on her neck.

"I am NOT putting it back on. You can't make me." She decided she didn't like how childish she had sounded right then. She was pissed though.

He looked wholly unconcerned by her declaration. "I'm certain you know by now you don't have a choice in the matter. That necklace will only come off for good when I allow you to take it off. It must always be on you. If it isn't it on your body in someway it will just find its way to your neck again."

She felt so frustrated and angry with him that she wanted to throw something but all she had was her backpack and a library pamphlet on the coffee table. She didn't think the pamphlet was a weapon unless she could paper cut him to death, assuming he stood still long enough for her try and she didn't want him rifling though her bag.

" I assume you wont be letting me take it off anytime soon?" She asked unhappily.

"You assume correctly."

"And its impossible to break it?"

"Yes."

"I cant get rid of it?" Every answer he gave did not make this more encouraging.

"No." He looked very entertain by all of this.

"What if I put it on someone else's neck? Would it attach itself to them instead?"

"No. It would just appear on you after you walk away."

"Why did you put it on me?!" She snapped in frustration.

"To keep others away." She stared at him. He understood that she hadn't so he explained. "Its protection. It will repel others that might target you. And since its a part of me I can keep an eye on you when I get bored. I get bored easily but with you that never seems to be a problem."

Instead of thinking she was protected her ears had bypassed that and latched on to one part of his explanation. "Its... _part_ of _you_?!" She repeated in shrill tones incredulously looking at the thing around her neck with new eyes. She looked at him as he held out his hand. There was a dark shadow that came out of his hands. It swirled and danced before shrinking smaller until the shadows were gone and there was a pair of earrings that looked like the match to her necklace. His eyes glittered calculatingly. He raised his hand out further and proffered them. Understanding what he meant she panicked and waved her hands frantically pressing herself back father into the couch.

"NO! Please! Keep those things away from me! I promise you that I don't want them!" He chuckled and the little horrors in his hand burst into that dark curling smoke from before and sunk into his palm.

"Your reactions are so amusing." He opened his mouth and suddenly he paused. Seras saw a sort of glazed look come to his eyes. She saw a slight red glow to his gloves, a strange symbol on them. It was a strange little trancelike state that made her startled when he suddenly came out of it, shaking himself slightly like he had been falling asleep. A slight frown was on his face as he regarded her before a smirk curved his face. "It seems I am needed elsewhere. I will visit soon."

She gaped as he stood up, turned around and walked straight through a wall with black tendrils swallowing him whole. She was left alone in the room, staring at the pristinely white library wall. _I will visit soon_... She whimpered slightly. No matter what amount of bravery she had gathered, she still felt afraid. And the sounds his presence had distracted her from all outside noises. But with the loss of him as a distraction, the noises she had managed to ignore and tune out before came to her ears then, ringing like the tiny horrors they were. Rain pounding on the roof. Pattering against the windows. She curled up tightly, unable to decide what frightened her more: him or water.

And then she looked down at her neck seeing it had repaired itself and had reattached itself to her neck. She didn't have a pillow this time so she buried her face into the seat of the couch and screamed as loudly as she could.


	8. Melting Like Black Gold

Her eyes scanned the crowds for a mark. There was a woman with dangly earrings that looked rather expensive. She almost went for it but noticed the ear was slightly green being fake silver. Cheap Crap. An old man with a wallet. Possible, but she shied away from it feeling her stomach turn at the idea. Her eyes landed on a old woman with a sign, dirty and ratty looking the dog beside her looking to be the only well groomed thing she had. In London no one looked twice at a person in need and they were left to their own devices. She looked on in pity knowing that that had been her a few times when she was younger.

She understood the starving look in the woman's eyes as the people around her walked passed their eyes sliding from one store front hurriedly to the next. It was the same no matter where you went or how desperate you were. People of means didn't just ignore the people of hunger, they did everything possible to pretend the homeless weren't there. Elderly men in ratty coats could be found laying on the side walk and everyone walked around them as if they didn't want to catch 'homelessness'.

Seras hurriedly shuffled through her pockets looking for a pound or even a 5 pence for the poor women. She would have sold her soul for such kindness when she was younger and a desperate beggar. She could only find and stare at the crumpled up twenty pound note and a few pennies she was supposed to give the others later. She shook her head ruefully. She made plenty of money, more than this anyways. She quickly darted forwards and dropped it into the tin with the noisy clink of the pennies to draw her attention before the woman saw her. She turned around and went back to where she had been before to watch what happened. Seras watched as the women slowly turned her head morosely to examine the penny or nickel she thought she had received. Seras's face smiled in satisfaction as the beggar gave a cry of delight and grasped the note like she had just been crowned queen with a scepter. Her pockets may be lighter but so was her heart. She scanned the clouds hoping for easy marks to make up for the deficit.

Her eyes caught a young man that had a IPod and a full grocery bag. One of the new IPods too! Score! She strode forward at a slight jog aiming for the left and moved as if to run past him bumping his shoulder in the process. The poor guy dropped all his food to the ground. She winced at the crack of eggs. He may have been her mark but she still felt bad for the food she had caused him to waste. She wondered how else she was ruining his day before she filched his electronic device but squashed the thought. Just a job she scolded herself. When you identify with the person you were targeting you ended up walking away from a perfectly good score. She turned around and frantically began pawing the ground, apologizing for being so clumsy.

"Oh my god I am so sorry!"

"It's okay! Most of it was canned anyways!" While listening to him assure her it was alright, She eyed the IPod and earbuds in his hoodie pouch that hadn't fallen out. She felt slightly better knowing that it was just cans and some eggs which made this easier. She'd need a reason to touch his pocket. She leaned down and put her hand in an egg splat and reach out as if to pat him clean. Then as if she realized her mistake she frantically waved her fingers around and while he was focused on her hands she tripped forward and fell on him, slipping her hand into the pouch and grabbing it. She slipped it into her own pockets quickly. She leaned down to continue and he stopped her with both hands up.

"Stop! No more! You've got to be the clumsiest girl I have ever encountered! J-just go."

She whined out a another sorry and turned around, running away. Soon as she could she rounded a corner and stopped in front of an alley opening. She took off the sweater she was wearing and stuffed it into her backpack, taking out a ball cap and putting it on. She checked out her reflection in a shop window. Different enough. She hurried away with her ill gotten prize. An IPod, depending on the model, was at least $60 US currency. It was a good catch and would put plenty of food on the table for a few days being the equivalent of 37£ British pounds. She jogged silently at a brisk pace trying to put plenty of space between her and her unfortunate grocery boy. It was only a matter of time before he realized he too had lighter pockets than before. After the unfortunate demise of the eggs she didn't have the heart to try for his wallet as well which she had felt in the kangaroo pouch of his sweater.

After fifteen feet Seras started to realize something was wrong. She felt sluggish and tired. She leaned against the wall for the support she needed to remain upright, feeling her breathing becoming more difficult. She trudged a few more yards trying to make it to the opening of Downing street. She gasped tightly as a strange twanging in her chest pulsed. She looked at the area confused, she had taken a wrong turn. That wasn't Downing street. Her eyes swayed and the world around her spun. She felt a giddy sense of illness like she was going to puke. Her hands fumbled her pockets numbly while her brain furiously worked trying to remember what she was supposed to do. Her shaking hands closed around the oval and she drew it out trying to remember what it was. Ph... Phone! Need... Call... Call... Oooh so sick! Supposed to... call someone when sick... call... CALL MONA!

She tried to pressed the speed dial number and missed and her vision went double. Hurriedly she pressed the red button and tried again. It took a few more tries and she succeeded just as her legs gave out from under her. Desperately she fumbled with the phone and pressed the green number. It rang once... Twice... Three times...

"Hello? Seras?"

She felt her eyes closing and it was like she was staring into a tunnel and getting sucked in. She couldn't seem to figure out what she was doing. She had something to her ear... Oh... a phone... Mona was on the phone... supposed to tell Mona something... tell Mona... tell her that... She listened to Mona in a daze as she talked more.

"Seras? Is that you? _Seras_!? You're sick _again_ aren't you?! Tell me where you are right now! I'm coming to get you! Where are you?"

Thats right! Tell Mona when she is sick! Tell Mona where she is... Numbly she managed to mumble out her location.

"Dow... Downing... No, wait... Trafel... I mean... Trafalgar square... I do-don't feel so good Mona... It's... It's so cold!" She shivered feeling herself curl up and her eyes slowly closing. She heard Mona yelling something in the phone but she was sleepy. Later. She'd talk with Mona later. She curled up in the mouth of the alleyway trying to stave off the cold. Her eyes watched the people with expensive clothes and happy faces walk passed without a care. She watched as their eyes slid from the left, land on her and faster than before their eyes moved to the right. In London no one looked twice at a person in need and they were left to their own devices.

Xxxxxx

She drifted in the black around her and couldn't come up from it. She felt someone touching her, lifting her, talking to her but she couldn't understand what it was being said or who it was moving her. She stumbled along feeling her legs drag a little. She trembled. So cold. Her muscled twinge and tighten in very uncomfortable ways. She tries to come up from the black but she can't, so instead she feels herself slowly sink down, drowning in it.

Xxxxxx

Hot... Her skin was burning and had been set ablaze. She shivered as the cold outside of her touches the sweat on her body. So hot... Her arms tighten, constrict and loosen at strange intervals. She can't open her eyes still but she knows someone is there. They apply a cold wet cloth to her forehead and something slimy is rubbed down her arms. So hot now... Too hot... Her heart hammers in her chest loud and quiet. Its one of the few things she can hear. She cries out in fear as the heat intensifies... The black swallows her again... So _hot_...

Xxxxxx

Her eyes are open but she still feels hot. That is the first thing she knows. She stares that the wall in confusion, shivering. Deliriously she wondered where the walls of the warehouse are. It feels like three forever ago's since she last saw it. Her whole body tightened and she cries out in pain feeling it loosen again. It happened several more times in quick succession like the tissues of her body were drawing tight as if she were standing at the centre of a vacuum. Her mouth was so dry. She could feel herself changing little by little. She felt her bones shifted, shaped, melted like black gold. She was so confused and scared. And then the black drowned her down again.

Xxxxxx

There was a snarling noise coming to her ears and she feels someone holding her down as she struggled. Why was she struggling? It was as if she was only faintly aware and barely in control of her own body. What was that noise? It was like a dog with rabies was about to attack. She felt her mouth close and open several times, opening and snapping shut with audible clicks. Her teeth ached and her mouth burned. She hears someone shouting curse words. Need something. So angry... She realizes its her struggling and being held down. She manages to push away her jailer but a moment later something heavy and cold bashes hard against the side of her temple and she falls back, the black drowning her again. She falls silent and still.

Xxxxxx

She shivers. So cold. Her muscles slowly relax and its almost like feeling them expand into nothing and harden into water. So thirsty. Someone throws what feels like a thin sheet on her and she can feel someone raising her head and pouring water into her mouth slowly. She swallows gratefully. Her eyes flutter a bit but they close again and she drifts off.

"What a freak..." She hears. Something in her is shocked and tries to protest. It stung her so deeply inside that she protested as strongly as she could despite being unable to speak yet. _I'm not! I'm not a freak..._ But it's too late. She's asleep again and her protests are forgotten.

Xxxxxx

Seras buttoned up her shirt quietly. Mona wanted to talk about doctors again. She just knew what that intense stare and pursed lips meant. If her friend wasn't going to say it then neither would she. She used the brush to viciously attack her hair and get the knots out of it. She had finally been well enough for Mona to help her into a bath after three days of illness. She had been so fatigued she hadn't even registered it was water and for once she wasn't scared to be bathing. So after three days she had had a bath. Thought this also meant she hadn't brushed her hair in four. Finally after being clean, dressed, shoes on and her hair brushed she felt more alive and better. Marvelous really compared to before. She fiddled with the collar of her shirt to smooth out an imaginary wrinkle so as to delay the conversation she knew was coming.

Trying to break the silence Seras asked a question to prompt a conversation. "How's Verona?" Her friend started as if she hadn't realized Seras was capable of speech.

"Everyone's fine." She said dismissively and then Seras knew that she wasn't willing to talk about any mundane subjects. Apparently only the one in her mind was open for discussion if she would come out and voice it. "Seras..." She said hesitantly. Seras rolls her eyes. Here it comes... She decides to head this off early.

"I will NOT go to see some quack doctor about this Mona. Forget it. Last thing I need is a bunch of med students treating me like a lab rat just to tell me they have NO idea what this is and doctors with a sense of civic duty reporting that they have a homeless underaged minor in custody."

"Seras! We have to do something! This is getting worse and worse every week! You got sick eight days sooner than you should have, AND it lasted a extra six hours longer than the last few times!" The panic and anxiety in her friends face was completely clear and it warmed Seras's heart to know that she was worried. Her face darkened though with the truth of what she was saying.

"You don't need to remind me of how much of a problem this is Mona." She said quietly. "Mona... this scares me and you know it. I worry about it everyday. Every time I look in a mirror I worry about if my skin has gotten paler or if my eyes have flecks of gold in them yet. I hate how nauseous bright sunlight makes me."

This just seemed to incite her friend further. "Then we see a doctor to try to find out what this is!"

There was a resigned and arrested look on Seras's face as she looked at Mona's desperate one. All those thing he had said to her came rushing back. _Your a halfling. It's a rare occurrence. The halfling I had met before also was sick at regular intervals. Tell me... How many times a month do you get sick? Halfling; half human and half still wish to pretend you are human._ Internally she was crumbling. She had been living in denial for years about her condition but the declaration of what it truly was by HIM has stripped away all the comforting little lies she had told herself. She was human. She was. She just had a sickness. She _was_ human. She was. She just got headaches from the sun. She **_was_** human. She _was_! Her eyes just got little flakes of gold in them sometimes.

She didn't know if he was insane or if she was and this was all some delusion she had cooked up but she just couldn't pretend anymore. Vampire? Half-human? It was ridiculous but if she accepted HE was real, not some weird delusion stress had cooked up, then what he had said about her had some merit that was worth considering. It was enough to get her stress levels higher than Daffy Duck during wabbit season.

It was enough to make her slightly _hysterical_.

"I _know_ it's a problem... but I also know this can't be fixed by a pill or a doctor. Mona this isn't normal! How many illnesses do you know th-that- that have _this_?!" Her words had gotten steadily louder and were shrill by the time she finished. She thrust out her hand to show the slightly sharpened points that could be passed for a badly planned nail job. As predicted Mona looked defeated. She knew they couldn't go to a doctor. The expression on her face was like someone had told her the aged can of blueberries she had been enjoying were actually crushed pineapples. But before she could relent and agree that the doctor had been a bad idea her friend started pacing widely about looking somewhat unhinged.

Mona paused realizing what was really bothering her friend: Seras was scared. Mona understood this well. She was scared too. Quickly standing up she crossed the wooden floor and wrapped her arms around her friend. Seras started shaking and finally she burst into tears, hiccuping noisily and returning the embrace desperately. She was so scared. She didn't know what she was going to do! "_Uuha_-I-I don't know wha-_hict_ to do! Tell me what to do Mona! I need to know whats going to happen next! I can't-_huc_- I can't stand wondering how this is going to get worse next."

Mona rocked slightly and rubbed her back trying to sooth her friend. "I don't have the answers you want Seras. I wish I did. I wish we had a cure. I wish we could fix this. I wish I could do more. In the end all we really _can_ do is what we have always done _before_. We gather money for the supplies we need for the next time you are sick and we take care of you."

Seras said nothing because what her friend had said was true. They couldn't do anything. They were helpless. _She_ was helpless. So she didn't speak. She just wept.

xxxxxxxxxxx

Right now I am trying to focus solely on Alucard and Seras and whats going on with them. Im also trying to develope a reasonable relationship. Right now Seras see's Alucard probably the exact way the soldiers of Hellsing see Alucard.

_OMFG a deadly vampire! Look there! Its a deadly vampire! Its a actual verifiable fucking vampire three feet away from me grinning his fangs at me! Holy mother of god he's going to eat me! Did I mention he's a deadly vampire?! He said I taste good! Holy shit a vampire! Quick! Run! Scurry! Flee! Flee!_

Seras looks at Alucard in fear and suspicion. She knows he most likely will not kill her but she doesn't know for certain despite what he has said because she doesn't trust him. He has saved her life before but he brutally killed four men in front of her like he does it all the time (which he does). His casual and sometimes blatant display of his abilities are also a source of worry and fear for Seras. (Invading dreams, reading minds, the ability to hold her captive effortlessly, super-speed, teleporting, killing others without batting an eyelash.)

What I'm attempting to do have them run into each other often enough that Seras can get to know him better without freezing up like a giant popsicle of fear. I'm trying to get them to be friendly enough that when Alucard finally shows an interest in her in that way it wont be automatically responded to with a reaction of:

_Are you fucking delusional? Wtf is wrong with you?! No damn way!_

That isn't to say that she would automatically say yes either. She would probably still say no but Alucard can be very persistent when he wants something. He will get her sooner or later. But at least she would be in a emotional state where it would be possible.

-He will knock four times


	9. Fear Dreams Of Monsters And Men

I want to address something. As you've all read Seras has Hydrophobia, the fear of water. Now some people who have never had it and don't know better probably laugh and think "that's the stupidest thing to ever be afraid of EVER!". This isn't a very enlightened point of view. For people who have had it, its not funny at all. Seras has a phobia. The definition of phobia being:

pho·bi·a

NOUN:

*A persistent, abnormal, and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation that compels one to avoid it, despite the awareness and reassurance that it is not dangerous.

*A paralyzingly sense of dread associated with a psychological problem

*A strong fear, dislike, or aversion.

A phobia (meaning "fear" or "morbid fear") is, when used in the context of clinical psychology, a type of anxiety disorder, usually defined as a persistent fear of an object or situation in which the sufferer commits to great lengths in avoiding, often being recognized as irrational. In the event the phobia cannot be avoided entirely, the sufferer will endure the situation or object with marked distress and significant interference in social or occupational activities.

Many things I write about in my stories are either something I myself have experienced or seen someone I know experience. I used to have hydrophobia myself. When I was four I was in the hot tub of the community pool. I didn't know how to swim yet and I was so short that when I stood on the cement benches the waterline came up to my clavicle. I tripped and fell in and in my mind I remember it like nearly drowning, like being under forever and unable to get up and out. In reality my father tells me that I was under for a minute and that I was fine. The point being is that after that I looked at water the way people look at fireworks: fun to have but definitely dangerous. I didn't learn to swim until I was twelve. I'm still uncomfortable being in water my feet can't touch the ground in.

There are three levels of hydrophobia:

1.) You have a little fear of it but it doesn't stop you. You can still shower, enjoy jaws eating those stupid beachgoers and even the pool is still appealing. It's easy to get over after some calm time is spent in the pool maybe with a supportive family member. That was me.

2.) You have a mild fear of it and depending on the situation it does disrupt your daily life. You may still get in the shower but movies about drowning scare you the more than other things and going into the hot tub alone is a disturbing idea.

3.) You have a severe condition and anything to do with water fills you with paralyzingly dread. A cup of water on the counter is enough to make you shiver in fear and the water in the shower scene from psycho is more scary than the murder itself. Pictures of oceans, lakes or rivers terrify you. You avoid water at all costs even going to far as to find ways to avoid drinking water bottles. It doesn't matter that you know water wont kill you because you look at water like you look at a zombie invasion: its no fun and its possibly the most deadly thing you've encountered. This, is Seras.

XxxxxxX

Chore day was probably the dullest day of the month. Willard and Jed did all the chores because they didn't steal which meant there weren't many things left to do. Well, there weren't many things for Seras to do. So while everyone did the dishes and washed the walls Seras swept the stair rails. It was a well practiced game she played. Stare only at what she was doing and ignore everyone else on chore day. They were washing the wall with dry rags. They were doing the dishes dry. As long as she didn't know for certain IT was there she was fine. At least the CD they were listening to was decent because it was Mona's turn to pick. When Verona picked it got repetitive. She never wanted to hear about how chains and whips excited Rihanna or about how people got by with a little help from their friends again.

She looked at the clean walkway and decided to go organize the collection table. It had been needing it for a while. She sat down and got started. With a practiced eye she began sorting between jewelry, electronics and petty cash. For jewelry, glass necklaces and earrings in one bin while wood and metal went into another. Bracelets had their own container. Once she had that settles she began on the electronics. Someone had scored a laptop and the table had a fair amount of watches. She nearly whistled at the sight of a Rolex, but then she saw it was a fake. Still, it had to be worth something.

She stole a glance at the poster of their goal wistfully. A two-story house on Rooster street. It was cheap enough to afford but big enough for everyone to have their own room and it had been for sale for years. She looked at the chart that stated their current progress rate. They had 60,000£ pounds at their last count saved up and they needed 154,675£ to buy it not including the down payment and the taxes. The just needed about 94,000£ pounds till they accomplished that dream. She shook herself out of it and got back to sorting. She could daydream about that all later.

After a couple minutes she stopped thinking and just started sorting. There was something calming in the monotony of this. Look, toss in a bin or basket. Pickup. Look, toss in a box or tub. Pickup. Wash, rinse, repeat. Of course if someone jars you out of the rhythm you have found, it would definitely be startling. She jerked backwards in surprise when an empty bucket slammed down onto the only clear area of the collection table. She looked up at the person only to find Ronald in front of her looking really mad, his eyes narrowed and trained to her face. She got the distinct sense that him being upset with her wasn't the only thing going on with him right then. Something seemed a little off about him right now. She would just have to be patient with him until she found out what.

"Is there something you need Ducky?" She asked trying to sound kind. Generally when he was unkind, it wasn't a good idea to keep throwing oil into the fire. Unfortunately her being kind right then seemed to be oil anyways. It made it hard for her to be the bad guy and his attitude to be justified.

"Why aren't you helping?!" He asked outright, sounding very accusatory. She felt confused but kept her face clear.

"I _am_ helping." She said firmly.

"No! Your not!" He said loudly causing a few of the others to stop what they were doing to watch the confrontation. "We are cleaning while you sit there playing with items we are getting rid of anyways." His lip was pulled back into a tight frown. What was wrong with him today? He seemed so out of control. He was kind of grouchy normally but he always managed it in a way that the effect wasn't as bad as he was right now.

"Ducky, organizing the collection table is just as important as cleaning the floor. It needs to be done. I have already collected my share of money and items this month, cleaned the fire pit out, gathered the wood, organized the food, hung the laundry and swept the stairs. Now I am getting the table organized for when we take it to Madis tomorrow. What more could I possibly _do_ to help?" She knew he wasn't himself right now for some reason she wasn't seeing or getting but she hoped showing him she had done her share would soothe him from his moodiness.

He leaned in, towering over her, threatening body posture and uncomfortably close. Close enough that if she cared to she could could count each individual nose hair. With him as close as he was she noted that his eyes were a little shadowed underneath. She didn't lean back though. She kept her back straight and her space exactly as she had it before. This was _her_ space and _he_ was the hostile invader. There was no need to make it seem like she was intimidated because she wasn't. After all, this was Ronald. This was Ducky. He was never someone she had ever felt the need to fear before. She refused to start now. He kept silent for a second longer and when he spoke the smell invaded her nostrils so thickly she knew instantly what was causing his behavior. It didn't make the surprise any less.

"Well, for starters... You could _wash the dishes_."

Her eyes widened though, ignoring what he had said in favor for the more predominant thought in her head. "Your drunk!" She exclaimed, finally leaning back if only to escape the overpowering smell of what had to have been some sort of cheap beer. Before, she noted, the others had been watching curiously in case they needed to step in to stop the spat before it turned into a real problem. The moment she had said he had been drinking several things occurred.

Verona had a rule: No drinking or smoking in the warehouse which includes, but is not limited to, being drunk in the warehouse or coming back to the warehouse directly after drinking.

Everyone agreed that this rule was important to follow. It was like stealing from the group: you just don't do it. So the moment Verona heard that _he was_ doing it she dropped everything _she was_ doing and got on it. She marched over so fast it was almost teleportation. She whirled around and rounded on him.

"Ronald! Tell me honestly. Are you drunk?!" Her fists were dug so far into the space between her lowest rib and the top of her hip it looked like it hurt. But the fierce look on her face showed that she didn't care. She was not having any of this. Not here in the warehouse.

Stanton smirked at the scene in front of him and leaned his chin on top of the handle of the broom he had with him clearly ready for a good show. Jed watched carefully. Willard and Millie just looked on anxiously at the three of them. Ducky just looked like he had swallowed sour milk knowing that Verona was not the woman who would take any bullshit or lie he had to offer. But the drink in him sure wasn't going to let him give up yet.

"Don't call me Ronald! So what if I am? It's not going to change the fact that she's slacking off." Seras remained silent under this accusation. Verona was really talented at zeroing in on the real problem if left uninterrupted. Right now she figured something had to of caused him to drink. With that in mind and the knowledge that he was drinking, she tried not to take his belligerent behavior to heart.

"What I want to know is why you were drinking, then I want to know why you bothered to show up at the warehouse like this. Then when we have that settled I want to know why you are targeting Seras, when clearly that's not whats bothering you."

"But she-" He started to whine but was promptly cut off.

"No. That's not the focus here. _**You** are_. Whether or not Seras is doing enough to benefit the group is not up for discussion right now. I do not care. We will leave that for another day. Now, lets start with why you were drinking."

To properly do this scene justice I shall have to break the forbidden forth wall and say truthfully that it requires me to be a narrator for the next three paragraphs.

He started to look really uncomfortable. Ducky had always avoided and shoved away his problems. So he got really anxious when they were confronted. To support his desire to avoid confrontation he had become very talented at making a distraction. When there was something bigger going on no one cared about you or your problem. Now _normally_ Ducky was a pretty nice, levelheaded guy who liked appearing curmudgeonly and tough. _Normally_ he would have never even thought of doing what he was about to do, much less _act_ on it. But we, the audience, should note that right now was an _abnormal_ situation. As in _not normal_. Ducky was _drunk_. So it _did_ occur to do to him what he was about to do and he did _act_ on that impulse with little thought about what else would happen next except on making an exit from said uncomfortable situation. He had the perfect distraction available and he took it immediately.

He quickly grabbed the rim and the bottom of the previously-thought-empty bucket, reared it back and brought it forward hard. Every drop off water inside slid free of its confines, flew threw the air and splashed Seras in the face and all over her clothes. There was a heavy silence as everyone came to terms with what just happened. Then after the moment of sickly shock wore off three things happened in quick succession.

Mona immediately ran for towels and a change of clothes; Jed strode forward, seized the offender by the back of his neck and hauled him to the door and promptly shut him outside with the deadbolt shut; Seras began to scream in terror and blind panic, clawing at her clothes trying to get all the water off. "Help! Get it off! Get it off me!" As an author, I can attest that writing in narrating form is kinda annoying. Lets see what it's like in Seras's point of view shall we?

xxxxxx

_Splash! A large wall of water had launched itself forward hitting her in the face. Drip!Drip!Drip! Drops of water falling in quick succession. Something wet and cold everywhere..._

What? What had just happened? Fear bloomed in her chest as she slowly looked down and watched her clothes get darker from the liquid. The sounds of Verona yelling were drowned out as here ears were filled the the sound of her own pumping heart as it quickened. Her breathing grew short and suddenly the room was too small. Everyone was standing too close. She was being boxed in by water everywhere. She couldn't breath. She was surrounded... Covered... Had to get... Panic got the best of her and she started crying out, screaming nonsense and begging anyone who could hear her to get it off of her as she uselessly scratched and scrubbed at her clothes.

All she could remember was the vivid memories of being helplessly carried down the current being dunked and sucked down and shooting up, sucking in air and being sucked down. Couldn't get air! Can't escape! Trapped! Can't see! She screams but all that comes out are bubbles that move away in the current. Help! She had uselessly bobbed up and down, above and below, in an out for what had to have been forever. Trapped. Water... She was in water! Trapped! All around her. So cold! Need air! It was dark! She screamed and struggled and no matter where she turned she couldn't tell where up was. She was helplessly being carried along.

She shivered violently as a towel was thrown over her and large warm arms started rubbing her dry. She didn't even notice. She just sobbed in fright until Mona gave her some sleeping pills and Seras took them dry. They worked quickly as always. Her screaming slowed to some sobs and she barely noticed when someone helped her into her sleeping bag. She shivered violently until the pills took effect helping her into a fitful sleep that eventually gave way to the kind of dreamless deep sleep only pills could give.

Xxxxx

It's the sound of the crackling fire that has her eyes drifting open. What greets her isn't the sight of the metal catwalks or the stained metal that graces the warehouse but the sight of clean brick. What? She sits up in confusion and studies her surroundings. Her heart sinks and she groans in surrender. Here again... Though, this time there was a fireplace. She turned around and saw him on that throne-esque chair of his. He seemed to be watching with interest at what she would do next.

"Has anyone ever told you it's wrong to invade the dreams and minds of others?" She asked with a glare.

He grinned. "Oh, yes. Many times, but it never seems to stop me from having fun when I do it."

She huffed irritably and looked down at the necklace. Like that, she supposed she would have to get used to this too. Suddenly the walls flickered and she found herself looking at... Well herself. It was like she was in front of a massive TV screen watching herself but the angle was odd. She saw more of her chin and less of her forehead. Her shoulders and the underside of her chin were more predominantly seen. Almost an angle that came from below and pointed upwards but what... could... She looked down at the necklace. It could SEE?! That was just plain _wrong_!

She looked at him more angry that before. "You've been spying on me?!" He laughed a little and she turned around to watch herself. She didn't recognize this but then again when your own chin and neck are the focus its vision it's hard to recognize any event that happened. Then things got interesting as the 'screen' began to bounce violently up and down and a look of concentration was on her face. She heard some mild cussing in the background.

"Get back here you bitch!" Startled she realized its the grocer she stole bananas from three days ago.

"Watch this Kitten. Here comes my favorite part." Her insides turned nervously at the gleeful sound of his voice and she watched. The thing about necklaces was that vigorous movement made them bounce. The thing about vigorous movement was that it made women... _bounce_ too. So she stared wide eyed as the view rapidly whirled around and settled by looking **down** instead of **up**. She watched as her bra covered chest bounced and threatened to get free under her shirt while her belly button and flat stomach were added to the view. She stared feeling her face become redder and and redder as her running made her jeans slip a little down her hips and she could see the top of the V.

She turned around seeing him eyeing her up and down with a appreciative look on his face. She could almost feel him undressing her with his eyes. She could almost smell the rape. She grew angry. Scratch that... She was pissed as hell! Screeching, she ran at him with the intent of hurting him. It wasn't really a well thought out plan of attack either. The shock factor had overridden any normal logic or planning abilities she normally had. So it didn't occur to her at that moment that it was just a dream, that he would enjoy her attempted attack or that she had no weapon; she just wanted revenge on this pervert who had peeked at her in ways no boy or man had ever done before.

He easily grabbed and stopped her fist. So she kicked him in the shin as hard as she could. It connected and she wanted to cheer at the grunt he made... at least until those shadow things he controlled came out and took her leg. His eyes glinted at her tauntingly, daring her to kick with the other one. She glared back feeling mutinous. What she didn't expect was for a aluminum baseball bat to appear in her other hand. He grinned, released her and tilted his head invitingly.

"Want to fight?" He asked, his eyes red and looking very eager.

She swung widely. He dodged which just made her madder so she swung again. It continued this way for many minutes. Seras probably wouldn't have been half as angry as she looked now if he didn't look so damn happy. He just grinned like this was the greatest game ever. She wanted to hurt him. She swung harder feeling even angrier when he just moved to the left. Suddenly she _needed_ to hurt him. Later on when she looked back to examine this she wouldn't understand when it had started. Something inside her started to rumble. There was some sort of metal wire or coil inside that started to hum and vibrate with the force of her frustration. Anger was becoming predominate in her forebrain. It was quickly becoming blind rage. She _growled_ and swung harder. She wasn't in control of herself anymore. Anger and some small hidden part of herself was. She was _angry_ and she _needed_ to _hurt_ him and make him _bleed_.

She was running on a set of instincts she had never remembered having. They were new. New and raw and wild and untamed. His hand shot out and knocked the bat from hers as he danced around her. She felt her anger grow even hotter, simmering unreleased like hot poison gas clouds inside, having had no way to sate its violent desires. Before she had the time to think of retrieving it it was gone having disappeared the way things do in dreams and his hand came out in a lazy swipe that she easily dodged. That wire inside stretched tighter and vibrated violently threatening to break. He tried to claw her. Her burning rage demanded revenge. Her arm swung out faster than she thought herself capable of doing and clawed him, watching in satisfaction as her digits connected with his face and a halo of blood and flesh burst free from his face.

For three small seconds her face curved into a pleased grin. Three small seconds that had him laughing madly as he repaired himself. Three small seconds that revealed to her what it was she was becoming. It was those three very small seconds that helped snap her out of it.

She stared at the damage on his face as he repaired himself in horror and revulsion. What had she been doing?! Had she really just- She felt her knees give out as she plopped onto the floor in a fit of hollowness. All she could think was self incriminating remarks. _I'm an idiot_. She tried but it didn't feel right and she was despising herself right now. _Freak_! Close. She hated the work freak. Finally she found the one label she could punish herself with that gave the appropriate amount of pain desired: _Monster_.

Seras looked up at him sadly and in self torment as she saw him standing over her. He leaned down and she sighed for a moment taking comfort as he smoothed her cheek with his palm in a way she supposed was meant to comfort. She felt miserable but he looked very proud.

"Monster." He said aloud, agreeing. She flinched but he paid it no mind. While she had said it as an insult... He had said it as if it was the highest complement.


	10. Statistical Miracles

London is a population estimated to be approximately 8.2 million people and about 200,000-500,000 homeless or missing who could not be officially counted. Half that number of homeless or missing are runaways and children all under the age of twenty-five. Within the first seventy-two hours the chances of finding a missing person, alive and well, is at its highest being 70 percent and it drops in half after the deadline passes. After that the chances drop by twenty percent after the first year. Of that tiny number there is a rare one-tenth fraction of them being found without a STD or being drug free. It is rare that they are brought back home or ever seen again for some years. Some are never found at all. They just slip through the cracks in the system continuing to be an anonymous number unaccounted for.

There are special task forces assigned solely to recover these youths but often they have little success, citing the statistic that the missing will eventually turn up if they want to be found; something that is very unlikely because they usually runaway for a reason. This had been their excuse and they explained it to him like a broken record as if he cared. He had been pouring funds and donations and even veiled threats into these task forces but they had had little success in locating his daughter. He had five different pictures or what she might look like now. He made sure her possible faces stayed on the priority wall of all the task forces he had in his pocket at all times.

He seethed at the incompetence of them all. His daughter had been missing for nearly fourteen years now and they still hadn't managed to find her. He would have his daughter back and now that she would be old enough he was beginning to become slightly frantic about finding her. Her body would be beginning the change any time now. He needed to find her in order to help her through the change and catch up for the years she had missed. That he had missed with her. Seras was in London. Zhivago had found her there twelve years ago but the imbecilic wretch had let her slip through his fingers. After that he was forbidden to return until he had found her. He had reported that he may have found her but as that had been falsely reported a few times before; it wasn't exciting news. He would wait for the results of course but he was determined to get her back.

Xxxxxx

She spent the next eight days hiding in her sleeping bag with the zipper all the way to the top, giving her a cocoon, rarely coming out. The incident with Ducky had left her shivering in terror for a while to come. The others had tried to coax her out but she ignored them. Ducky had tried apologizing to her several times but she wasn't talking to him or anyone else. Her brain kept flashing back to that moment where the liquid had slid free and splashing her in the face as a moment or horrid sickly surprise. The imagery had been seared in to her eyes of the motion of his hands gripping the edge of the bucket with both hands and turning it sideways, thrusting it forward. For days she had nightmares of helplessly bobbing along the river currents struggling for air.

Then afterwards, when she felt it was safe enough to come out, she packed up supplies to find somewhere else to sleep and left before anyone noticed. She took to sleeping on the tube train for a week and a half at night, letting the rhythmic rocking of it keep her as asleep as she best as she could manage. The disposable phone that she and Mona had cobbled up enough money for and never used unless there was an emergency had started ringing endlessly. It got so that she turned it off so preserve the money that had been put into it. The London underground ran twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. As long as you were careful you were safe. She was waiting to get the courage to go back home and sleep there again. She spent her days walking around to relax until her bag ran out of food and money.

Xxxxxx

_**Crap crap crap crap crap crap!**_

Was pretty much all she could think as she ran down the street. She had made the rather fatal and idiotic mistake of trying to pick a plain clothes police officers pocket. Of course when she successfully made off with her contraband and saw the police badge inside his wallet as she ran he noticed three seconds later and took off running after her... Fast.

Depending on whose mind you were reading, the cop's or thief's, you would understand that the lack of foot traffic was a blessing or a curse. For Seras she couldn't meld with a giant crowd. For the cop there was no crowd of people to slow the little bitch who had his wallet down. For both of them their was a clear line of sight and no bystander to get in their way. So it had become something akin to a endurance race. Who had the most energy and determination to keep going? Apparently mr. cop and a half behind her wasn't the Dunkin doughnuts type. She was athletic but even she had her limits. Mentally she was starting to desperately bargain a little. _Isn't he off-duty today?! He can't do anything to arrest me anyways!_

She put on a burst of speed hoping to get shut of him. She dashed around a corner and saw the alleyway fifteen feet ahead. Emergency exit stairway and a garbage dump. She'd take what she could get. Running forwards she threw her leg up and over and scrambled to her feet on the dumpster. Not bothering to catch her breath she took hold of the railing and pulled herself up managing to get herself onto the platform just in time for her pursuer to round the corner. He paused looking around and she held still hoping he wouldn't look up. She used the time to calm her breathing slightly so she could get her second wind if she needed it.

Of course, unfortunately for Seras, he wasn't a moron and he actually looked up. His face tuned a nasty shade of angry purple and he ran forward to the dumpster to follow her up. She immediately took this as her cue to run. She dashed up the stairs hearing them clang noisily under her feet. She had risen about three platforms high when she heard his feet start climbing. She kept her eye out for any windows that were open. It was just her luck that no windows were available or open. So she kept climbing until she got to the roof. Her eyes darted around until she spotted a way out that made her groan unhappily. She looked down. He was five platforms down. Better hurry.

At the young age of nine -or at least she guessed she was nine since she hadn't know how old she was- Seras had quickly figured out that when you couldn't outrun them the only way to loose the person chasing you was to take an escape route they were not willing to take themselves. And she had found quite the whopper of one. The post office flag pole next door was about three feet away from the corner ledge of the roof. If she ran fast and used the corner to kick off from she could fireman slide her way down.

All she had to do was hope he wasn't as crazy as she was to follow her. She quickly stretch her limbs and jumped a bit up and down to loosen her limbs. She screwed up her courage and dashed forward before she could get second thoughts.

_CHARGE! _She cried in her head. She figured if she was doing this she might as well have a sense of humor about it. And then the next thought that came to mind was _HOLY_ _SHIT!_

She used her forward momentum to launch herself off the roof at the pole. There was a sickening eternal moment of weightlessness. She felt the inside of her shoulder painfully connect with the cold metal. Quickly she wrapped her arms and legs around it just in time for her chest to make contact with the pole. Stunned as the air whooshed out of her she started to fall as her vision blackened for a moment. She had enough sense to squeezed her arms and legs though and her drop slowed to less dangerous speeds. It took several painful seconds for the world to right itself and for her mouth to suck air back in. She squeezed her legs tighter as she slid the last few feet to the ground. She slid at a achingly slow pace the last few inches, her eyes squeezed shut almost as tightly as her grip on the flag pole. She felt her feet touch the ground as the rest of her plopped on the cement, her arms sore from gripping so tightly.

For a minute or two nothing was really reaching her brain. The people looking on with dropped jaws just weren't really important right then, the police officer whose day she had ruined who was also gaping like a dead fish as he leaned over the ledge for a better look was similarly unimportant. All she could think was _I am alive, I have no broken bones and I am not bleeding_ and the other predominately being **_DID I JUST DO WHAT I THINK I JUST DID?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST DO?! IT WORKED BUT THAT HAD TO HAVE BEEN THE CRAZIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER DONE! HOLY SHIT I JUST JUMPED OFF A FUCKING BUILDING!_** It was also followed by the inane but brief thought _That was probably the most exhilarating and exciting thing I have ever done_.

After a minute just laying there and trying to calm down she then stared at the building ledge that she had just Evil Knieveled and her eyes followed the distance to the flagpole she had just slide down. She blinked. It was a hell of a lot taller than she had guessed and the distance between the ledge and the pole was more like five feet than the safe three feet she had judged it to be. She sat up and slung her pack over her shoulder and decided to get going before the off duty cop she had pick-pocketed got the same idea. She heard the cop yelling obscenities at her. A heavily accented man she was passing was telling her that she was "Fooken creezy. As she set off at a light jog trying to ditch the scene fast.

People were taking photos and from what she could tell one guy had had his camcorder with him at just the right moment. Crap. If Mona, Verona, Jed, Ducky or Willard didn't see or hear about this she would be lucky. If they did there would be hell to pay. She would consider it a miracle. She was still panting and her heart was still racing a million miles a minute. No good, she needed to find somewhere to regroup and finish her mental freakout session. She had done some crazy stunts and seen some crazy shit loads of times before but she had never before been able to claim "jumping off a seven story building to a post office flag pole" had been one of them. She ducked into an alleyway between two dumpsters trying calm down. After a few moments of deep breathing she started examining the wallet.

Credit cards. A drivers license. Her off duty policeman was named Roger Parish. Poor man. Lucky her. She found a couple business cards. Her eyes widened in delight. She knew he had just left a ATM machine but she had no idea a coppers pockets could be so deep. 300 £ pounds! that was a hella lot of cash! She faltered considering though his point of view when she saw a picture of his daughter showing off her picture of what looked like a blue cat. It might have been a crocodile for all she could tell though. That was food money. That might be apartment rent money. She growled to herself irritably. NO identifying with marks. That was the rule. But still... That little girl... She sighed and took only a third, a sour taste in her mouth.

It was more than enough to meet her quota for this month. Each person either kept the warehouse clean and organized the collection table or they were out collecting for Madis. That was the way it worked. Each person needed to make at least 450£ pounds each month. Any amount they either couldn't make because of bad luck, a slow month or because they wouldn't steal like Jed, they made up for in watch duty or cleanup. Since she had already filled her quota goal of 500 a month she had the rest of it off. 450 for the group. 50 for her. She smiled happily. Maybe she would get new shoes. She took out her tea bottle and started gulping it down. Of course it was ruined.

"You look happy" He noted. She jumped and looked at him wide eyed, choking as some went down the wrong pipe. Seras gave him the glare she knew he deserved and chucked the bottle at him. He dodged the spray of water in one fluid move.

"Don't do that!" She hissed pointing at him imperiously. He chuckled as he leaned down and she saw he was wearing a pair of red tinted glasses. She took her take and shoved it into her pocket and started repacking the wallet.

"You didn't take all of it..." He observed. Huffing furiously she jammed in the last card and tossed the wallet down between her feet.

"Thats the problem with taking a wallet," she explained, "they leave baby pictures of their kids in there. So while I'm trying to make a little money all I can look at is how talented his four year old is at spreading chocolate pudding across a large table, the cat and his face. So I end up taking only a little and the rest turns up at the station, which let me tell you it isn't easy getting close to there without someone recognizing you."

He snorted in amusement. "A thief with a conscience. How novel."

"Your hardly one to talk." He raised his eyebrow curiously. "I steal money and jewelry so I can eat. You steal lives so you can eat. I think what I do for a living isn't that terrible compared to some."

He considered it. "Perhaps." He murmured, allowing that line of logic to stand uncontested. He fell silent for a few minutes and she was surprised at herself.

How did she get so comfortable with him so quickly? She in no way trusted him yet and felt the occasional brief spurt of fear but other than that he had become so commonplace to her that it was making her very uncomfortable. She had only seen him a few times since the library and he only bothered to take a few minutes to speak to her. At first she had thought he was just making quick visits but he always gave a repeat performance of going half lidded and glow-gloved every time he dropped by for a visit. Then suddenly he would say he had to go. Perhaps it was just the repeat performances with no harm coming to her that set her more at ease. He had set sort of a trend for himself that made him less unsettling. She was still a little nervous at times but she could more or less trust that she wasn't in immediate danger every time he dropped by.

Also she had these hazy dreams involving him so she suspected he visited her in her dreams and she would forget what happened afterwards. She figured she might as well ask him about it before he went glazed eyed again.

"Hey... Do you still visit me in my dreams?" He looked surprised and grinned at her. "Don't look at me like that! Its just I have all these vague memories of conversations we have had that I don't remember happening in the daytime."

"Yes." She blinked at his candid honesty. "Sometimes I cannot go in person so I visit you while you sleep." She bristled slightly. Now that was just crossing the line! She watched as his grin became more of a leer. "Your much more open to my presence in your dreams. Be careful. It might give me ideas."

Instantly she was to guard and terribly worried about what he was implying. "Please... Please tell me you are NOT saying what I think you are saying."

His grinned widened. "What do you think I am saying?" His voice sounded slightly gleeful.

She narrowed her eyes for a moment knowing he was just trying to goad her into reacting. On one hand it was incredibly annoying he was doing that sort of invasive behavior but on the other she knew he wouldn't stop just because she asked nicely. It at least explained why she had gotten used to him so quickly. Some part of her was remember all the time she had spent in his presence. She sighed in relief. "Forget it. Now I know nothing of that sort happened. Why can't I remember the conversations?"

He looked really disappointed for a moment that he hadn't been able to get her going but she really didn't care. He took a second longer looking thoughtful before sitting on the ground with her. "Human sleep patterns make it difficult to remember dreams. The deepest part of your sleep is when you dream. It's also when your brain takes all the information it thinks is useless and dumps it all out. Also, when I visit you in your dreams, you are still technically dreaming. I was surprised you remembered at all."

It was sort of strange seeing him so candidly honest. He had never seemed like the sort to be the 'nice guy' and he always seemed to make an effort to torment her. Now he was only taking a minute to tease and then he gave up. It took a minute for her to realize what it was: he was tired! His shoulders were not as straight as they were a minute ago if only by a fraction of an inch and his eyes were slightly drooping. She should have realized earlier. If there was any truth to the myths she had heard then he was taking the time that should have been dedicated to sleep to come see her. Plus she had not been out at night alone since the library and she had never seen him come up to her when there were other people around.

When she voiced this idea he nodded. "I have been working hard lately." He explained without actually explaining.

"Working? **You** have a _**job**?!_ What job could you possibly work at?!" Then she decided to go for some humor to perk him up. It was really unsettling seeing him like this. "Inventorying the blood bank storage room?" She offered dryly.

It worked. His eyes widened in surprise for a moment and he threw his head back and there was a deep laugh. It wasn't like others though. This wasn't _I'm going to tease and taunt you senseless_ or his _Trying to creep you out but I don't need to try very hard_ laugh. It was just clean and smooth and his enjoyment was clear. Seras immediately squashed the tiny amount of pleasure she got from hearing it. It died down to a few dry chuckles. He reached into his pocket and withdrew what was probably the largest gun she had ever laid eye on. Her eyes widened as she goggled at it. She had had no idea he had one. She hadn't even thought he would even need one. He had all those freaky abilities in addition to the super-speed and strength. She supposed though it suited him since everything else was so unusual. She had seen a few before in Logan's room so when she compared her memory to this one it was a quite the behemoth. He looked at it absentmindedly, a small smile playing about his lips as he admired the piece.

He was working... with a gun? She blinked in confusion. Laughing seemed to make him easier to be around. So she tried again. She also was firmly telling herself that she did not enjoy seeing him smile. "If you tell me your a vampire assassin and your working for the goverment I'm going to laugh. I don't know when I would be able to stop either."

He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and his smile turned sardonic. "I suppose you could call me that." He mused. "Though I would guess others might call it a mission from God."

It was a Russian hatching doll. She swore that's what she had here. It had never occurred to Seras before that he too was a person with a personality beyond _I'm going to munch on your neck and kill your neighbors_ but she was starting to realize that. When all you knew about a person was that they were a vampire who liked killing, it tended to take up the focus of the relationship rather than become the bridgework to something else. So seeing him talk and share these things gave her a little more perspective.

"Mission from God?" She echoed. He looked at her and she shivered. He looked so old in that moment. Yet she pressed on. "What is the mission?"

"Ghouls. They are reanimated corpses." He clarified at her expression. "When a person is bitten by a vampire but not turned, they become a ghoul. Mindless, shuffling masses of meat enslaved to the will of the vampire who bit them. The only thing they can do is focus on killing humans and turning them to ghouls as well. Everything that made them what they were before is gone. The only thing left to do with them is to put them out of their misery. There was a very large group of them last night in Leadworth."

She leaned back alarmed. "You-"

"No." He cut her off calmly. "I did not."

Then it dawn on her. "Your not the only one..." She whispered in horrified awe. She supposed it should have occurred to her before. If there was him then there had to be at least one other. Then that meant he was killing vampires too? Suddenly the world seemed a lot bigger and scarier and she a lot smaller. Before, when living on the street, all she had to do was avoid crackheads, schizophrenics, prostitute runners looking for new talent, and cops. Now suddenly things like vampires that weren't HIM and those ghouls he described were being added to the list. It made her wonder what else she didn't know. It made her privately scared.

"I don't understand." She admitted. He looked like he was considering something.

"No." He said at last. "You wouldn't." Seras supposed that was fair. He wasn't obligated to share more and she didn't know if she could stomach learning about more danger in the city she lived in. "You won't need to either."

"Why do you say that?" Her voice puzzled. "You just told me that zombies exist and could kill me if I'm not careful."

"Not as long as my interest in you continues. That necklace will ward away any ghoul or vampire."

She glanced down at it. "Oh... Thank you?" Knowing it was protection and not just a tool for spying made her look at it differently.

He ignored the confused gratitude in favor for leaning against the wall. They sat there quietly in what was probably the most comfortable silence she had ever experienced with him. It was almost peaceful. That was a bizarre idea in of itself. _What a strange pair we must make_ she privately thought to herself. She imagined the scruffy blond sitting in the narrow grubby alley with a stranger in a bright scarlet trench coat and tinted red glasses. Suddenly he broke the silence with a question she would rather not face the answer to yet.

"You haven't been back to the warehouse for some time. I can smell it." He stared at her waiting for the response to his implied question.

She hugged her knees to her chest and settled her chin on it. "I'm fine." She answered automatically. The look he fixed her with told her just exactly how much he believed that statement. She caved preferring to skip the extraction-by-irritation methods and just disclosed. "I'm ... I'm waiting to go back. Or at least I'm waiting to feel well enough to go back. I think I might soon but even after two weeks I still feel nervous. Everyone knows about my thing with... water. I just can't stop being nervous that Ducky will try it again."

He just seemed amused but there was a hint of what she was probably imagining as understanding. "Water. Why?"

Just thinking about it had that paralyzingly feeling of suffocation making her cringe. She squeezed her legs to avoid the memories and get her mind back under control. "It was the river." She said quietly. "They found me at the banks of the river Thames. Its how I arrived in London in the first place. I couldn't swim but I bobbed along in the currents dunking under and bobbing up helplessly being carried along. I couldn't breath. It was all around me. I couldn't swim or breath or do anything. I could only scream and drown for hours. But eventually I drifted to the banks of London and they found me. Linda and Richard and Jay. They were homeless too but they took me in. I really-"

She cut herself off, choosing to keep some things to herself but her bubbling emotions had found a outlet. "I hate this! I'm terrified of a substance people bathe and play in! I wish I wasn't scared all the time that its going to rain or that Mona is going to help me bathe or that the river is going to flood the warehouse. I wish I could go to the pool with the others. I wish buckets of water don't scare me away from home for weeks. I-I just... hate it." She finished lamely and took a deep breath to force her emotions to steady themselves.

She said nothing. To her surprise he said nothing either, he got up and moved to the wall in front of him making one of those black shadow portals he had made at the library. Home soon... She needed to make a decision of whether or not she went back today...

Xxxxxx

Stan rather disliked his job at times. It wasn't that there was large amounts of paperwork or odd hours or even the headaches you get from staring at computer screens all the time that made it occasionally unappealing. It was the lack of answers he was often unable to give to frightened parents and desperate aunts. He often ended up telling grieving parents that they had no leads. That people went missing everyday. 250,000 thousand of them, in fact, every single year. Despite the fact that the average person walking a block on London is photographed 1,500 times in five minutes. Despite the fact that every street corner, restaurant and cafe had cameras monitoring and cataloging people's whereabouts, sending massive amounts of information to information centers that got copied and sent to task force offices like his. Despite all the efforts of all the men and women in the agency. Despite all that he had to explain that somehow they just got lost and managed to slip away.

He was a statistical data analyzer for Missing Juveniles Task force. Grace was his coworker and was a therapist but was rather too fragile to handle breaking news to grieving parents after the recent loss of her child. So Stan took it upon himself to look people in the eye for her, so she wouldn't loose her job, and tell them they they are trying to do the best they can but they have no leads. He used his knowledge on statistics to try to bring comfort. Some came back on their own, he'd say. Many are alive and well but have some emotion or situation that compels them to stay away. It usually worked to some degree.

However there were rewards as well. Sometimes he was able to find a single photograph out of the thousands sent in once a hour that led to the recovery of a lost child or teen. Such a incident was possibly happening now and he found himself staring at the young teen in the photograph like a gambler staring at a winning lottery ticket. His head turned slowly to the only photo that had been there for longer than three months. Rarely did photos on the priority wall stay for longer than five months. In fact it had been there since before he had started working here eight years ago.

Some rich man's daughter went missing before her fourth birthday and he had been funding the task force ever since. There were minute differences here or there but it was a dead ringer for the possible photo ager images. Some people had photographed her on the street and posted it online. If he could backtrack the wifi signal from where it came from he could find out where she was going next, successfully picking up a trail that had been cold for several years.

Regaining himself he scrabbled for the phone and dug through his drawers for a pen to receive his instructions. He dialed his superior waiting to hear the click that announced the pickup. Not even waiting for formalities he excitedly shot his words out.

"Sir, your not going to believe this but I think have found her! Its- Yes, this is Stan on the second floor. No. Yes, I know your busy but I have found her- ... I mean HER. The little girl that has been on the priority wall since I was in college." There was a silence before Stan held the phone away from his ear to prevent hearing loss from a great deal of excited shouting. The office was to stop what they were doing and launch a full scale manhunt to pick up the trail again and try to find her. There were colorful swear words, threats to losing his job and demands that he not loose the girl and then a bang as the phone was hung up.

Standing up he managed to get everyone's attention and did not relish breaking the news that they all might have to pull a all-nighter. The groan that came from everyone was accompanied with some glares but renewed activity showed that the hunt was on.


	11. Don't Call Me Girlie

I'm considering to myself if the story is moving too fast or too slow. Because I have some ADHD like qualities in where I start an activity but find it difficult to either finish or continue. So I'm going to move ahead with the story where all the exciting stuff happens.

Xxxxxx

She slipped in quietly and likewise everyone tried not to stare too much or make a fuss. There was the initial starts as they recognized her but then the hurried looks at Verona and then back to their private activities showed that she had coached them on how to behave for when she did turn up. They understood that she was still settling down. Moreover Ducky had the proper privacy to try to pull Seras off to the side and talk.

She allowed them to climb up the stairs to the catwalk but she maintained her distance. She could see the guilt and the almost timid behavior as he made to speak with her. It didn't change the fact that the first thing she did before he spoke was to check if his hands were empty. She felt uncomfortable up close so she held a slightly distant spot on the ground from him. This didn't go unnoticed. She wasn't scared or angry with him but there was the skittish behavior she was feeling that she likened to a dog near its abusive owner. Ducky had done it once setting a precedent for a second time and it would be a while before she would relax around him fully.

He launched into the most contrite apology she had ever heard, that was clearly rehearsed, making the apology itself far better, despite the fact that Ducky never apologizes, choosing to see it as a sign of weakness. Apparently he had seen his mother hitting his younger sister in the farmers market because she couldn't hit him anymore. It was guilt. It went on for so long that she cut him off mid breath.

"Stop." She said calmly.

"But I haven't even-" He looked a little desperate to finish and make right.

"No. Stop. I don't care about your apologies. I am not angry. I am not scared of you. However I want you to know what this has done to me in regards to you. From now on when I am around you I will be watchful and nervous about it happening again." She held up her hands to stop his protests.

"I know it won't happen again. I believe that but I will be nervous anyway. Logic and emotion do not go hand in hand very well. Ducky, I am still friends with you and I think it would take something very serious to change that, you have to understand though that it will be some time before I will have the ability to be comfortable while being near you again."

She brushed past him to the stairs and climbed down, ending the conversation there. She went over to the fire bin and look in before snorting derisively. She was the official fire-maker of the group and often built them but that didn't mean they didn't know how to get a fire going, right? Apparently wrong. There were heaps of ash smothering the sides and bottom of the barely smoldering logs that had only been blackened somewhat. Obviously they had hoped dumping massive amounts of kindling on the problem would somehow make the logs start. She stared at what could only be described as an optimists fire: Two logs and hope. Sighing she got to work, needing the work to sooth her gnarled emotions.

Ducky had look so unhappy. She felt bad about it but she had been contained enough to hide the blind panic threatening to engulf her in his presence. She knew it was just her fear remembering that moment when he did what he did. Her insides twisted and knotted anxiously as she tried to relax and let the simple task of burning wood bring back her equilibrium to her. She smiled at Millie when the girl came over to try to help. She was starting to feel better already.

Xxxxxx

Today was an especially slow day for tourism. It was a blistering hot day and few were outside. Bored she leaned against a shaded brick wall staring out at the passerby's hoping for a mark. She fingered the chain at her neck irritably when there was none. It was hot and muggy, her clothing stuck to her from sweat. There was so much sun making her tired and her eyes ached something fierce threatening to give her a migraine. She was miserable. Just then though an idea occurred to Seras.

A wonderfully horrible idea that would earn a lot of money fast and easy as well as make her uncomfortableness easier to bare. She had a very expensive necklace that would magically reappear on her after moving exactly five feet away. She had experimented a little about the exact distance she could get away with two days ago. She eyed the grumpy old man through the window in the pawn shop behind her. She could sell it and find a different buyer to sell it again. There were dozens of shops that bought and sold jewelry.

Excited by the prospect she straightened her clothes, flipped on a wig and made for the door with a face that was downcast enough to sell any sob story.

Xxxxxx

The coffee runs were turning into coffee trash bag takeouts. The entire office was exhausted. The only way they could have had coffee faster than they had it was intravenously. They had followed the footage from 2nd streets post office down to an alley that led to a park. From anywhere the teen could have gone out of causing them to scramble and view every hour of security footage from every section surrounding the park until 3AM where they had picked the trail near 15th and Merloy from 12 in the afternoon yesterday. From there the managed to follow the video trail to a neighborhood in the Ealing district where they eventually lost her.

Stan directed half the staff to go home, shower, sleep and come back tomorrow. The other half were to go home, shower, sleep three hours and then come back immediately. This way the office could trade shifts. He ran his hands over his eyes tiredly as the office slowly emptied. He would stay here to try to pick the trail up again so that everyone else would have something to do in three hours. Until they came back he would just have to bite the bullet and stay away. He stared blearily at the screen before him, more taking in the white haze of the pixels than the picture itself. It wasn't until the third ring before he realized the phone was ringing. He fumbled it and picked it up.

"Hello?" Agitated tones of voice revealed his boss on the line. "Yes, this is Stan from the second floor, sir. ... Progress? Yes. We managed to track the girl on her way through the Ealing district. No. ... I mean no we haven't found her. ... At this point we are under the assumption she lives there. Until we know for sure we will keep looking. I-... No sir... Yes... Yes we unfortunately lost her at a shortcut through an alley. There were no operational cameras facing that direction in the area. ... It's the Ealing district sir, a very bad neighborhood. Apparently some men had spray painted the camera lenses the night before. ... We are doing everything we can. Some men are being sent with photographs to inquire the whereabouts of- ... I know sir. ... Yes sir. ... The girl or my job sir."

He tried not to spit his words out through gritted teeth. After the man hung up the phone Stan slumped back irritably. He needed a nap. He slid his eyes sideways to the screen showing a blonde youth standing in the mouth of the alleyway. He got to work.

Sleep later.

Xxxxxx

After the fifth shop Seras was feeling very good. She was holding more money than she had ever had after two months of pick pocketing. 10,000 pounds. 15,375.15 in American dollars. Easily six times the amount she was required to collect each month. She wanted to have that house with everyone. She wanted Jed to marry Verona and have that baby and yapping dog he always went on about. She wanted a proper house for Millie. She wanted Ducky to be able to give his sister a safe place to stay from his mother. She wanted Stanton to be able to settle down and for Willard to feel safe.

She had boosted their funds up considerably and they were a lot closer to the end goal. She slipped the cash she had been given from the owner, careful not to step out of the five feet range. She secured it closed and decided she had earned enough for the month she decided she would go home.

"Seras?" Wide eyed she turned at Mona's voice and saw the owner accompanied by Verona. She realized how it might look to the others, her standing outside a pawnshop and shoving sizable amounts of cash into a bag. They were approaching quickly and she knew this would be bad if they assumed it was what it looked like.

Verona crossed her arms in her haughtiest manner and started expectantly. It seemed she had assumed. It hurt ... a little. She had thought Verona knew her better than that. She decided lying was the better option. She stepped out of the five foot range.

"I wasn't selling. I was buying." She held up the rose from the dragon. After a moment the woman thawed out.

"Sorry, I just assumed that-"

"It's fine. I know what it looked like."

She smiled and walked with them as they talked about anything and everything. She felt great too. It was sunny but she didn't even have a migraine and her eyes didn't hurt. Her illness wasn't even showing symptoms. She was too happy to consider why when all of it reared its ugly head. She stopped as a wave of confusion came over her. The street and sounds were hazy. She could see but not see. She could hear but not hear. It was like her eyes and ears were able to take in information but her brain decided to toss it in the trash bin without reading it.

She felt the ground on her shouldered and her body stiffened up and jerked. She was so frightened and there were vague motions surrounding her as her body decided to river dance uncontrollably without written and signed consent beforehand. There was a great deal of noise above her and something about the noise bothered her greatly. She tried to speak but nothing came out. Then her fit was over. She lay there dazed and exhausted and slowly her ability to process the things she saw and heard came back like rising from molasses.

"Erwess! Han ou hweare meeh? Seras! Can you hear me?"

Blinking in confusion she saw Verona leaning over her and managed to say something. She couldn't even remember what had just happened or what she had said. She tried again.

"Hind eellllsing. Werw ona? Mona fiend hellsing" Her eyebrows furrowed as she tried to process had had just been uttered. Her illness was worse then ever.

"Mona! I think she had a seizure or something." The panic in Verona's voice was clear. Seras thought it was a great way to state the obvious. She closed her eyes sleepily. So tired.

Xxxxxx

It had taken a good deal of pushing and shoving with Seras being picked up elbows and shoulders by Verona and Mona to manage to cut through the crowd that had formed. Everyone of the morbid sons of bitches seemed to think that cameras and ogling would be the key to the problem. They were watching the way a person watches in horrified fascination a car reck in slow-motion. The few good Samaritans of the crowd tried making the two girls put Seras down and wait for an ambulance but they set off at a slow jog with Seras dangling between them like a circus act.

Pacing back and forth on the floor of the warehouse was having a strange effect on her fingernails, but that might have something to do with the biting she was doing. Seras was on the mattress alseep and everyone there was sitting, solemnly staring. Except Jed who was doing the questioning.

"So let me get this straight, Seras has been sick for a few years now and you haven't told anyone?"

She made another turn and nodded nervously. The truth wasn't being given in bits and pieces like she and Seras had planned; It was being puked out in ugly waves like a drunk having too many. She tried to consider the ramifications of everything that was happening. She should have know the latency in Seras's illness was too good to be true. She hadn't shown any symptoms preceding the days where she was supposed to get sick. She didn't even feel tired in the day. She turned and walked the other way. Why hadn't they seen it coming? A seizure? A fucking grand mal seizure? Mona knew the truth: she couldn't do this alone anymore and certainly not without doctors.

"You didn't tell us." It wasn't quite an accusation but the tone was there. Another turn. She frowned. "Why didn't we notice?"

Still pacing she spared her fingernails long enough to answer. "It's subtle, the symptoms. She used to only have fevers and chills for a hour or so and then with some sleep she would be fine. This used to only happen every few months." another turn. "It's gotten worse. She's getting sick for days now. It happens twice a month now. Unless she is getting really sick you don't see it." Another turn. "Tired during the day, insomnia, nausea, paleness, and gold flecks around the iris are just a few things that happen before she gets really sick. The seizure is new though."

Stanton broke in. "That's why you and she disappear days at a time? I just thought it was a female thing."

She shook her head. "It's the illness. I help her through the stages until its over." Another turn. "It used to be that she could be sick on her own. Just lay down and sleep through it for a few hours..." Another turn. "but now it goes for days. She still needs to eat and drink. Plus her fevers are getting dangerously hot these days so now I make sure to have ice cold clothes applied regularly."

Jed spoke again. He was persistent. "You didn't tell us." Mona winced and turned. Jed was nice. He was the nicest man you could ever hope to meet. He was the kind of guy who would not only refuse to punch you back if you socked him in the face for no reason, but he would open the door for you to help you to where you were going. He was the kind of guy who looked so big he scared people but if you watched him you would realize he cries at the idea of dead puppies. He always had a smile for others. So when he used that flat voice and slightly sullen, accusatory tone you knew it was the closest the man would ever get to yelling.

"I wanted too. Seras didn't. I begged her to at least go to a doctor. She didn't do that either. Before everything was manageable so I let her have her way but now she's had a seizure that's over. I'm dragging her to a doctor also when she wakes up."

From her peripheral vision she could see Millie crying quietly. The girl had always been softer at heart and little things could send her crying. Plus she had always liked Seras. So the news of the illness was definitely a big upset. It was a twinge of guilt that wound through Mona as she knew that letting the illness advance this far without seeing a doctor had brought them here. She didn't know what to do. She remembered Seras talking about finding hell-sing but dismissed it as nonsensical gibberish. The girl probably was disoriented. Finally the pacing had done its job as she stopped and plopped down tiredly.

"What now?" Verona.

"I don't know." It was the honest answer. It was the only answer she had ever had about the illness. Why was she sick? I don't know. What is she sick with? I don't KNOW. How do we cure it? _I don't know_. Can we even cure it? **_I don't know_**. "I can only see doctors being the fix for this. If there is a fix."

It was a suitably depressing answer to match the mood of the group.

"I'm going out to look for a doctor or a free clinic that will examine her." She shouldered on a coat and left before anyone could protest. She needed to stop by the library to use the computers they had.

Xxxxx

She wrote down the address of the free clinic with the little tiny pencils they supply people at the library. She made to X the site off when she hesitated. While she was here... She clicked the search engine and typed "helsing". A load of results came up for the "Dracula" novel. Seras didn't read books so it probably wasn't a Bram stoker novel. She clicked the search engine and edited her search. "Hellsing person" Still some Bram Stoker results but there was an article about Hellsing and the Queen. Curious she clicked and saw a photograph showing tall posh blonde woman kneeling in front of the queen. She looked at the caption; "Intregral Fairbrooke Wingates Hellsing being presented an award for services rendered unto the crown."

She read the article start to finish but failed to find any mention of what she had done to earn an award ceremony. Confused she typed in the search bar. "Integral Fairbrooke Wingates Hellsing." She blinked as very few articles came up. That was new. Usually people and their personal histories were all over the Internet these days. There wasn't even a Facebook page. She had forgotten her original reason for being there. She was just fascinated by the mystery in front of her. Looking she saw a news report. Clicking it she found that there was a gas main explosion in a small town up north. The reporter questions why she was here but apparently "Intregral Hellsing declined to comment." There was a photo of her standing within the cordoned off area watching the fires blaze the house into cinders. She scrolled down and saw a second picture of her talking with a tall man in a suit and vest with black hair. She couldn't see his face.

She looked over the other articles finding conspiracy theory nuts talking about aliens and terrorist cells somehow being connected with the woman. There was another news article where an apparent serial killer somehow managed to pick off an entire town in one night on his own. For some reason Integral Hellsing was there too. She didn't see the man in black this time. She leaned back and sighed. As much as she loved a good mystery this wasn't why she was here. She logged off and hurried back to the warehouse.

Xxxxxx

Dinner had been a quiet affair. Seras woke up now and then but would go back to sleep. Everyone went to sleep and Mona took watch. She couldn't sleep just yet. Something was nagging at the back of her brain. The man with the black hair... something about him was familiar... Like she had seen him before... But she can't have seen him before... Had she? She had the most annoying sense that she had but had no recollection of the event. Any memory she might have had was a tiny grain of sand failing miserably to give her the information she wanted. She stored it away to muse about another time.

After an hour she sat down and felt her eyes droop. Sleepy. Something moved in front of her but she struggled to find the motivation to care. Someone was in the warehouse. Her eyes registered a red coat and black hair. She struggled to wake up and finally succeeded as she squeezed the handle of the bat past the point of pain. She raised the bat and brought it down on the spine of the man who was leaning over Seras. It made a solid thud and a church that made her nauseous to think about it. He didn't drop like Mona assumed he would. Didn't even grunt in pain. He turned his head and looked at her.

"I'm impressed. Most barely even managed to stay away during that but you managed to break out of it."

"You've been here before." She hissed furiously. "I can't remember it, or know how I know, but I know I have seen you here before."

His facial expression could almost be called curious. "Amazing. Very resistant." There was a sickening crunch and she watched his spine move and realign itself. He stood up straight. She readied the bat. This freak was going to get a serious beating if he tried anything.

"What were you doing to Seras?"

"I was attempting to wake her. She has been silent all afternoon and I came to fix it. I had hoped to visit her again." He looked at the aluminum bat with some amusement, like it was a toddlers threat to hold her breath until she exploded if she didn't get ice cream.

Momentarily disarmed in the figurative sense she lowered the bat slightly. "You know her? She has seen you before?"

"Yes. She refused to talk about her condition."

Mona's eyes widened. "You know about it?! Tell me!" He looked like he was considering it when an idea came to Mona. "Integral Hellsing." His gaze focused of her like a whip snake and Mona barely avoided screaming as she realized her blood red eyes. She stared in fright.

"Where did you hear that name?" He demanded of her. The tone helped stop staring.

"Seras had said 'Hellsing' when she collapsed earlier and when I looked online I found an article about an Integral Fairbrooke Wingates Hellsing. Judging from your reaction the Hellsing Seras talked about and the one I found online are the same."

He didn't confirm or deny it. She pressed on. "Does this Integral had medicine or doctors that can help Seras?"

"Yes." Hope burgeoned deep inside her.

"There's a cure!"

"No. But there is medicine that can help." He heisitated and then spoke. "She lives over in Lambourn." Mona tried to ask more but he was gone. At least she knew where she could go next. She looked at her watch. 4:00 Am. Lambourn was far away. Standing up she changed her clothing, grabbed some cash and unlocked the door. She shut it behind her and made for the subway. She took the bat with her though. It was still more night than morning here.

Xxxxxx

At seven in the sonny morning she found herself in Lambourn looking at a large wall. There were even scary looking men in armed uniform guarding the gate. The neighbors around here were strangely reluctant to talk about Hellsing or even point her the way. They did live a few miles away from here though. She put down the bat and walked over to them. They looked at her curiously.

"What do you want?" One asked rudely.

"Excuse me, does Integral Fairbrooke Wingates Hellsing live here?" They both looked at each other with suspicion on their faces.

"She doesn't take visitors girl. Go away."

"We'll that's too bad because I will meet with her today one way or another. Now please use those walkies you have there to speak to someone that will take me to see her."

At this point, small 160 pound girl or no, they recognized the threat and raised their guns. "Piss off girlie! You have no business here."

She stared at them in displeasure and then shrugged. Stubborn idiots.

Xxxxxx

Two hours later at nine she walked into the fighting ring with distaste and went to Logan. He stared at her hopefully. He had liked Mona for a while. It wasn't mutual but he was willing to do anything to make it so. Useful. "_Oooooooh Loooo_-gan! I need a favor."

Xxxxxx

At twelve o'clock in the afternoon she broke the window of a car in and began the process of hot wiring the car like Logan had showed her. She didn't even mind the obnoxious car alarm going off. All the better to serve her purpose. She finally got the car going and started driving the two miles that would lead her back to the Hellsing house.

Xxxxxx

At 12:05 some guards were nearly comatose in the warm sun doing nothing. Then of course a siren sounded off in the far distance getting closer and they leaned over to watch it get closer. It was a large truck with a window broken out and the siren going. The driver was also going excessively fast and honking the horn constantly. It would have been very entertaining if it hadn't been for the fact that it turned slightly aiming the vehicle for the iron wrought gate they were meant to be guarding. It didn't stop like they thought it would and they just barely dived out of the way at the truck crashed through the gates.

Then that crazy girl from earlier got out of the car, raised a six shooter in the air and fired. She walked towards the house firing at the air, the house, the ground and even a poor harmless planter. She didn't stop walking, she just dropped the gun and pulled out another to continue shooting. After the twelfth shot she had reached the front doors. The guards had managed to catch up with her as she pulled a third gun and started shooting the front door.

"Drop the gun! Turn around and face me, put your hands in the air!" She turned slowly put her hands up and smiled at them as they pulled their weapons on her again.

"Hello boys! It's '_girlie_' again! Remember me from this morning? Does this mean **_NOW_** I am going to see Integral Hellsing?"


	12. New living Arrangments With Tattletales

(oops sorry about earlier. Something wonky happened. Fanfiction doc editor was being so uncooperative. I had to reformat it three times tonight.)

For Mona the line of thought had gone something like this: Seras was unconscious and wasn't waking up. Panic. Mastering herself under control. Finding someone who knew where she could find help. She had been under a great deal of stress which had been compounded when those guards turned her away at the gate. So she went about learning how to hot-wire a car and learning to shoot a gun the way a mad scientist plots to set up a doomsday device. She was calm and slightly cheery even. It was an infectious euphoria that happened to people who crack and tended to have someone dancing in a room filled with dead people.

Her line of logic was running something like: Contact Integral Hellsing. Get Seras help. Plan A fails. Turned away by lackeys. Beat up lackeys and go in anyways. Plan B immediately fails. Lackeys have guns and are not afraid to use said guns. Plan C fails. Climbing over the wall not possible. So she got desperate and decided to remove rules from the play book. Plan D would be simply to force the owner of the house to acknowledge her presence at the door and agree to a meeting. She knew if she didn't go in as a guest she would have to go in as a prisoner. Which allowed for her stressed, sleep-deprived mind to reason that if she went quietly they could simply turn her out after a good scolding without the owner being any wiser.

So she thought about what sort of behaviors a proprietor with guards at the door simply couldn't ignore. Having the gate run down had been a suitable idea. It would mean stealing a car. Wonderful. There would be a horn to honk and everything. Then guns came to mind and she knew that a single gunshot in your garden really was hard to be unaware of. Several would raise awareness. Then her imagination ran away with her and considered fireworks but she didn't know where to get them. So Logan had taught her to shoot but Mona had declined learning to aim since she wouldn't need to and asked how you hot-wired a car. Then she promised a date with the slimy bastard in exchange.

In her head it had seemed simple, crazy and even boring. But the result in action was spectacular! She had stolen a car, the alarm blaring, speeded at seventy five miles per hour, leaning on the horn like it was required to operate the vehicle, and crashed through the gates. She had just enough time to through her arms up to prevent being knocked unconscious by the air bag. Then after finding that the car wouldn't go forward and that the horn was broken, but pleased that the car alarm was still functional, she crawled out of the car and started firing the gun at anything that wasn't people. Now she was in a holding cell somewhere in the house which was certainly progress. If she picked the lock on the door she could wander around in the hope of finding the woman. She patted herself down and was dismayed to realize that they had enough foresight to remove her bobby pins, the hair clip and the supposedly innocent nail file. Someone had even taken her gum. That was rude*.

Xxxxxx

*For someone who interrupted a quiet Sunday afternoon with car alarms, horns, guns shots, speeding, trespassing, grand theft auto, reckless endangerment, under aged driving without a license, possession of a firearm without a license and assault with deadly force... It was sure strange that she would bother to call them rude for confiscated gum.

Xxxxxx

It had been a boring hour, that lacked even the entertainment of chewing gum, before the door unlocked and opened. An elderly man with salt and peppered hair pulled back and, oddly enough, a monocle, came in. He had a white shirt and a black vest to match his white gloves and black pants. He looked like he was in charge which was great in Mona's opinion. In charge meant seeing Integral. The wrinkled face had plenty smile lines that weren't being put to use. He sat down at the table.

"You wished to speak to Sir Integra Hellsing?"

She noticed the change. "Isn't her name Integral? and I thought I came to speak with a woman? " she asked curiously.

"Yes but it's been her preference in unofficial areas to be know as Integra and Sir is a title awarded to those knighted."

Mona shrugged. "Ok. Oh! I forgot. My names Mona. No last names please since I am currently trying to forget mine."

He seemed to blink at the introduction. "Walter. And since when?"

She didn't stop smiling. "Oooh, since my father starting spend my college fund on prostitutes and I left home. But enough about that. I want to speak with Sir Integra."

He regarded her thoughtfully. "Why should I grant it to you? Especially after you broke down the gate with a car and shot bullets everywhere."

"Simple. I came this morning around seven with no guns, cars or weaponry. I asked to speak with, or someone who could get me in contact with, Integra. They didn't even take a message. They sent me away. I didn't have time to sit in front of the gate for a peaceful protest so I went for a very direct approach. Had they sent a message like I asked I probably would have been sent to you and then to Integra. I would have never done that."

"Why did you come here?"

She dropped the smile in favor for a serious face. "Walter I know your probably something like management around here but I would rather speak to Sir Integra. That was my goal today." He kept staring levelly at her. She sighed and gave in, taking out the ratty notebook and pencil from her bra. Walter seemed surprised to see it, clearly expecting that they had removed all items from her personage. She slapped it on the table. "This is why I came."

He picked up the notebook that had detailed every date, time and symptom Seras had experienced. He had gone five pages and looked up in question. "I was told Sir Integra could help, that she has doctors who know about this sort of thing. I want that medical help for my friend. It's gotten bad. Yesterday she had a grand mal seizure and hasn't woken up since."

"I am sorry to hear that but your friends sickness isn't our area of-"

"Read to the fifteenth page and then try to tell me that." He did. And he re-read it. and then again. "It's not fiction. That happened. If you read to the end you know it's not some normal illness that can be cured with two Tylenol and a hours rest. I was told you could help."

"You were told right. I will go speak with Sir Integra about-"

"No! No! No! . . . I didn't commit grand theft auto and shoot up a garden to not speak with her. This is important. I need to know that she has all the facts and can help my friend."

"-as I was saying I will go speak with her about your meeting with her." The reproachful edge to the tone was there.

She felt awkward. "Oh. Sorry. Thank you." He left her alone but locked the door. She leaned back. Fine. That was fine. As long as she had a face to face meeting. Without even looking she spoke to him. "If your trying to scare me, don't bother. I know your there."

He chuckled and walked forward to drop in the chair across from her. "You are a strange human being. You aren't even frightened."

Bored she started examining some split ends and decided she needed a haircut. "I've been too used to the idea that Seras might be a not-quite-human for too long to let the likes of you scare me."

She imagined a black eyebrow raising since she wasn't looking at him. "I used to think it was some rare disorder I had never heard of before. Then she started to get violent while sick, trying to bite me and scratch, and it wasn't until I got a good look at what can only be described as fangs that I started to clue in. It was difficult to believe and it freaked me out at first. But after a while I got used to it. Seras is only like that when she is sick. I accepted the idea and moved past it. Early this morning I didn't have to freak out about their being another like her because Seras is ill and I had more important things to consider."

She finally looked him in the eyes as he spoke. The red iris was very unsettling but she pushed past it. He looked amused like the only man who got the joke. "Your wrong." She blinked at him. "I'm not like Seras. She is like me."

She bit her lip. Answers would be nice. "So you know what she is? Or at least what is making her sick?"

There was a humorless laugh and a grin which held fangs. "What she is is what is making her sick." He elaborated at the confused look. "Tell me, what do you think I am? What creature have stories told tales of?"

She looked at the pale skin, the red eyes, the fangs and even the strange ability to be anywhere. Her mind that had always enjoy supernatural fiction stories supplied the answer but her sensibilities rebelled vehemently. The answer was so simple but ludicrous it took a moment for her to settle down and come to terms with the concept.

"A vampire?" She questioned uncertainly despite the fact she was certain. It was like walking into a movie to talk about them so casually real.

"Congratulations."

But then her mind made a mental leap. "But if Seras is like you then that means she is a..."

"No. She is not like me. Not yet."

"I don't understand."

"You don't have to." he stated dismissively. He seemed bored. Mona refused to accept that.

"Tell me now you bastard. What is Seras and how can I help her?"

He still didn't look concerned with her threatening tone but he answered anyway with the air of a person beleaguered, and a longtime sufferer of harassment. "While several stories about vampires are complete nonsense there are some truth to a few of them. Vampires are able to conceive with humans."

She boggled at him as the implication sunk in slowly like the Titanic. "Explain!" She snapped at him. "Her body is part vampire and part human."

Bewildered Mona sat back. "My god... but why is she ill? And you had better answer me. Because I knooowwww a song that gets on eeevverrryboddiiesss nerves!" She warned ending with a singsong tone.

He raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "A vampire is meant to change a human. A human is meant to be alive. Her body is at war with itself. Both sides are rejecting each other and trying to be the dominant half. Her vampire gene is attempting to complete the change into full vampire."

The look on her face was full on you got to be shitting me! But he just seemed entertained by it. Her voice was hoarse as she spoke. "This is why she is sick? She is changing?"

It made sense. Every time she was close to sick her body started to get paler, she found it hard to sleep at night and when she was sick she had fangs, claws and a violent behavior to match. Yet the the idea was an anvil to the head. She remembered the sensitive eyesight and hearing Seras always complained about. She had thought it was just whining. Now she knew her poor friend heard everything much louder than others.

"There's a cure! There has to be a way to fix this." She was a little desperate for good news.

"Yes and no. Her bodies illness is the vampires way of curing itself. The reason she suffers so much is because half is human and the vampire half isn't strong enough to complete the change. There is something that can be done, just not what you might prefer. She must complete the change."

It was a horrifying prospect. "There's no way her body can become full human?"

He regarded her disdainfully. "I rather want her to complete the change. She would be so much more interesting that way."

What an asshole! She narrowed her eyes at him and glared. "I knnnooowww a song that gets on eveeerrrrybooodddieeees nerves, eveeerrrrybooodddieeees nerves..."

He laughed sounding very entertained. She knew she couldn't cow him easily. She had seen his type before. Fear was the last thing she could ever try to use to get him in line. He wasn't answering out of fear or a sudden desire to cooperate or even sympathy that she was desperate for answers to her friends sickness. He just wanted to be entertained. He'd give Polly a cracker if she danced and squawked.

"Yes there is but it is exceedingly difficult and the last person to successfully manage it died two days later. His body couldn't cope with the loss. It's why the vampire half of her is winning. Vampires are usually humans who have been changed, into a vampire, by a vampire. Humans changing are meant to leave behind all human DNA. Their entire body goes into cellular reconstruction. Humans born but not bitten were not designed to change in such a way. They are born, they age and then they die."

"Yes

He looked up and seemed to be hearing something, which he probably was, he grinned and left through the wall. Freaky... She stared in fascination. However she was distracted by the door opening and Walter came back with the woman she had seen online. She was wearing a dark green pantsuit and there was a displeased look that was less facial expression and more aura. Her skin was nutty brown, contrasting with the perfectly pale hair. Walter set down an extra chair and she sat down smoothly, as if any other way of sitting down was improper and impossible to contemplate. Even her voice was cool and standoffish.

"You have something to tell me?" Yes, this is a woman used to being in charge and she knows it.

"My names Mona and I'm told you have doctors who can help my friend."

The woman's gaze sharpened in a way that made Mona want to squirm. "'You were told'?" She repeated. Something about that sentence was displeasing to her. When the silence stretched on she prompted the follow up. "By whom?"

"I'd really rather not say right now. My focus is more on the doctors who can help my friend. Details about 'he said' 'she said' aren't a focus of mine." She crossed her arms to try to emphasize her point. Sir Integra tried a few more times and was met with a closed mouth and a flat stare where Mona did everything in her power not to blink. Finally the woman knew she would get no where with that line of questioning.

So she got down to other things. "It will be hard to believe but your friend exhibits traits of a vampire." Mona didn't blink. She figured the woman was expecting people to roll their eyes and say something like 'Funny, but, no, seriously, tell me the truth.' which was perfectly understandable considering the topic. So she took a small amount of pleasure in shocking the woman.

"I know. At least it's only when she is sick." Walter raised his eyebrows and began to clean his monocle slowly. To her credit she only blinked and her poker face didn't phase for a moment.

"How did you know this?"

"I've been helping her on her sick days since she started having them. I've watched it get worse and worse. What she becomes when she is sick is not normal and definitely not a human illness. I will eat my clothes and dance naked in the streets before I believe otherwise." At that she managed to get a wane smile that was very brief from the woman. Then it was gone and she was all business.

"Then what is the end goal for coming here?"

"If I guess right then this is an organization that handles vampires..." There was a nod that confirmed her suspicions. "Seras isn't violent, especially by choice. She is as human, mentally, if not fully physically, as they come. I want Seras to have the medical care she needs to survive this. I have been helping her but I do not think I can cope with the demands that keeping her healthy require anymore. I don't have the training, experience or even the knowledge on what needs to be done. You handle vampires. You have doctors. You have a better chance then I of helping her."

Calmly the woman across from her removed a cigar and lit it. "You are misinformed. My organization kills vampires, especially ones that make themselves a problem. What makes you think I won't kill your friend?"

Her hands clenched under the table but she managed not to react visibly. Calm and collected got cooperation. Panicked and shouting got dismissal. She had to control herself and play nice just long enough to get by. Just as calmly she responded. "My friend is human, mostly, she was born human, mostly, and she wasn't given a choice about it at all. She isn't a problem either and she has never hurt anyone outside of self defense." Mona paused and amended her previous statement. "Well, granted, there is the illegal fight club she sometimes participates in but that's different."

Sir Integra seemed to be considering something. "Recently there has been some murders in London. A month and a half ago men were torn apart in what can only be a vampire attack. At the scene we found an unusual blood sample that was the perfect mix of vampire and human. Please keep this in mind and then tell me she wasn't responsible for their deaths."

Something inside her stiffened anxiously as the information processed this. Seras had been attacked by a couple thugs about six weeks ago and she had been missing all night, a day before her illness acted up. She hadn't talked about it... Had she-? No. No she refused to believe that. Those men had tried to rape and kill her. If she had killed them she would have cried for weeks. Besides, super strength had not been a trait she had displayed before and they hadn't been torn apart by a girl who had trouble lifting seventy pounds on her own.

"No. No I don't think she is. I am certain she didn't kill them. She would have told me. I am absolutely sure that if my friend is somehow connected to their deaths that it was self defense. She might be sarcastic or uncooperative at times but never violent."

"I am afraid I am going to need more than a vouch for her character to believe it."

Mona fell quiet and considered her options. 'Thats not fair' wouldn't fly. Well if she couldn't prove that Seras wasn't the killer then she needed to cast blame on someone else. She didn't know any random crazed vampires to blame on but she had a hazy suspicious it was the man... vampire... who had a connection to Seras. Perfect person to put the blame on, since it was somewhat possible. He looked like he could enjoy a good proper murder. It didn't even matter if it wasn't him. She just needed anyone but Seras to be guilty. Hell! She'd plead guilty if it would work and get Seras a real checkup from a real doctor.

"It was the black-haired man. He did it."

Integra narrowed her eyes. "Who? Describe him to me." There was a snappish tone that had an order in there somewhere.

"Black hair, pale skin, grins a lot, creepy red eyes and a real ass." She added hopefully, "He was here earlier too. I spoke with him."

It was the first time she had seen Sir Integra Hellsing lose her temper and it was a spectacular sight to behold. The poor defenseless cigar was crunched in half by a clenched hand and the face was twisted angrily with equally clenched teeth and scornful eyes. Her face looked a little red. "Alucard!" She shouted at the top of her lungs.

The man from earlier didn't walk through the wall. She was seeing it better now that she expected it. It was like he melted into and out of the wall pouring out like water into an unusually shaped glass. He looked at the room in general and the look on his face said to Mona "tattletale". She shrugged.

"It was either your ass or Seras's. I'll go on the record and say I will choose her over you every time. And if you have a fully fledged vampire hanging around then my friend should be no problem." "

Alucard!" She spat. "I've been told an interesting thing. Care to comment on it?!"

"What would I be commenting on master?" Mona looked surprised at the title applied to the Hellsing. "You have been out of the estate without permission and you have killed men!" She shouted.

He looked unconcerned. "You have never revoked my ability to go out after a mission ended so I have had permission for a long time. I just never took advantage of it until recently. Also I seem to remember having the right to kill to protect others. Protecting a human from rape and murder falls under that category."

She glared at him for a moment and seemed to gather herself. "I will deal with you later."

She turned to Mona to continue from where they had left off before. "Unfortunately you are right. Your friends illness falls under my jurisdiction and as long as she hasn't killed humans because of her partial vampirism I am inclined to help her."

Guardedly she turned her eyes to the vampire for confirmation Integra was telling the truth and not tricking her. There was a small nod. The smile that spread across Mona's face could have powered a small city for an hour. She was rather relieved she had succeeded. "Oh thank you! Thank you so much!"

"But-" waiting for it to catch Mona's attention before she dove across the table for a thank-you hug. It did. "She needs to live here where I and others can supervise her."

Grateful she pushed the problems with that to the back of her mind and just nodded vigorous. "Yes of course. Besides commuting from the warehouse to here and back can be problematic."

Integra was clearly confused from the strange statement. "Warehouse?"

"Oh. I didn't mention earlier? We all live in a warehouse. It's abandoned and no one really comes by." There was a lack of response. "Rent is cheap." She joked weakly.

"Your squatters?" Walter asked and had the grace to look apologetic for the thoughtless term.

She shrugged and waved it off. "Homeless, squatters, floaters, drifters, hobos, vagabonds, bums... I've heard them all and much more. But yeah."

She saw that look cross the faces of the people in the room and cut them off. "None of that," she said sharply, "Everyone is perfectly happy as we are. We don't need any pity. We are this way because we have reasons. I have troubles at home I couldn't tolerate anymore. Seras was found in a river when she was young. The others have their reasons too. Don't judge us."

"Is there anything about Seras that we should be told Mona?" Integra asked in a suspicious tone. No good. She'd have to out with it now.

"Ah, well... You see... Um..." A sharp look had her answering finally. "Seras has hydrophobia."

"What?"

"Hydrophobia. The acute and persistent fear of water. It usually comes from bad experiences with water as a child. Seras was found on the banks of the Thames half drowned as a little girl. I have to stay here to help her with certain day to day living things. Plus I know all the symptoms of her illness. I can say what helps and what doesn't."

It was an irritable and cross look that had her arms doing the same. "So now I am to house the both of you?" The blunt attitude was beginning to wear on Mona's tired nerves and she dropped the polite act. Fuck this play nice shit.

"Look lady! Have you ever had someone who gets terrified of a little rain?! Have you ever had someone become severely dehydrated because they go days without water and scream at the sight of it? Have you ever had to get someone to go to sleep in a chair just so you can bathe them?! Huh?!" The two humans goggled at the audacity of her speech. She didn't care. She had put up with too much shit for too long to become inconsequential now. She knew how bad things could get for Seras when there was no way or no one to help her cope with her fear.

"No? Then get used to the idea. I'm her friend and a damn good one. I know all the tricks to get her to drink and bathe and snap out of one of her episodes. If I give you and her three days here without me and then we will see how peaceful it is! You'll be begging me to live here. Her running around screaming, dehydrated, cracked lips, greasy hair and smelling. I'm not going to drop her off here and expect her to cope on her own. I might as well stab her in the back! Now, am I gonna get a damn answer from you about me helping Seras or not?!"

After a moment the Hellsing heir recovered and that was that. "Very well. Welcome to the Hellsing estate. I want you to bring Seras here as soon as possible."

She stood up, went through the door and called out behind her still walking. "Done! I know the way out! Your boys didn't blindfold me on the way. If I had picked the locks I could have escaped. You might want to fix that."


	13. Amusement Parks and Traps

**_"I seem to myself, as in a dream,_**

**_Am I an accidental guest in this dreadful body?"_**

Have you ever played that game when you were young where you lay down flat and are told a story involving you with your eyes closed? The one where you're cut open, filled with bowling balls and then sown shut? Naturally you know the story is pretend. It isn't real. If you were cut open for real for the purpose of bowling ball stuffing there would probably a great deal of screaming, struggling and foul language involved. Your eyes would most likely would have been open, to your great misfortune. It wasn't a real occurrence. Just a story. Yet... you open your eyes and when you try to sit up you are mysteriously heavy. Your torso feels so heavy and it takes so much effort to sit up... Curious, it is then, that sleeping for two days had the same effect to the entire body.

Seras was awake but she struggled to open her eyes. Her arms were slack as her legs were. With some effort she had finally opened her eyes and blinked tiredly. She lay for a minute or two before really making an effort to sit up. She drew on her strength with Herculean effort and, anti-climatically, managed an awkward flop onto her side. Jed grabbed her shoulder gently and tugged her to a sitting position. She smiled but even that felt draining like the energy in her body was sand from a hour glass.

"Hi..."

He smiled broadly though. "Good to see you awake. You have been asleep for two days."

This confused her greatly. Two days? What? "Did I hear your right because I thought you just said 'two days'." His smiled turned into something more of a grimace.

"Yes well you have been very ill."

This drained the remaining color from Seras's already fair skin. The look in Jed's eyes wasn't warming to Seras. "What happened?" Two days!

"You don't remember?"

She shook her head. "I was walking with Mona and Verona... I think... Yes, I remember that much but something happened afterwards I can't seem to recall. I was confused and scared and I didn't feel right but that's all I can remember."

He sat down on the mattress. It suddenly occurred to Seras that she had yet to take in her surroundings. She looked around and saw that everyone was gone. Something struck Seras as fundamentally wrong about that. There was always at least a third person loitering in the warehouse. It was a novel experience to have it to herself with someone else. Jed drew her attention with what he said next.

"You had a seizure Seras."

She blinked slowly. There are certain words that we aren't expecting and when we hear them we do not yet comprehend the meaning of them for another few seconds which is far longer than the brain usually needs. She stared at his face while the piece of information oozed into her eardrums like molasses and struggled its way through her cochlea where her synapses tried valiantly to become a sound associated with a word that had a meaning. A... seizure? Like those movies where they fall to the ground shaking and flopping around?

Jed spoke but Seras didn't listen. It was a wash of noise she blocked out while lost in her own head. It was a frightening prospect that she might start having seizures. Epilepsy wasn't it called? One minute fine and the next she was in convulsions on the ground. Her sickness was worse than ever. She turned sideways and curled up tightly, staring at nothing. A seizure...

Xxxxxx

When Seras emerged from her inner bubble where she had blocked everything out it was to find a very concerned Verona and Millie sitting in front of her. She felt a little better and was able to sit up independently this time.

"Hey." Millie lunged at her with a tight hug and seemed determined to show that she could become the worlds tiniest sumo wrestler. She probably could too with arms like that. Tentatively she returned the hug, wrapping her arms around the slight build draped on her lap. Millie had never been comfortable with physical contact since before Seras had found her. Her bastard of an uncle had seen to that. So returning her hug could be a roll of the dice. Today it was a prefect six.

Verona mouthing behind Millie's back that the girl had taken this especially hard. Confusion took for a moment before something clicked. Jed. You've been ill. Millie's reaction. The sympathetic look on Verona's face. "Mona told you, didn't she?" Verona looked away and the silence was all the confirmation Seras needed. She felt so naked and ashamed. They knew. They knew about her. There was a hot bile in her stomachs that became a simmering anger.

Verona noticed the warning signs and cut it off early. "Don't. Don't blame her. Did you really expect her to be able to keep something like this secret after your seizure? We are not stupid Seras. Why didn't you tell us Seras? We would have done anything to help you." There was a moment of stunned disbelief. They knew she wasn't exactly... she swallowed and managed to grudgingly admit it to herself... well human but they didn't care? "Your sick and have been for a long time."

Her heart sank twice as fast as it rose. Oh. She should have known they only knew about the illness but not the whole of it. Mona didnt tell them about that. In some ways Seras was relieved and terribly disappointed. They didn't know and she wouldn't have to face that yet, but they didn't know and accept her like she had thought. It was a dull pit that settled inside her.

"I just... didn't want anyone to see me differently." That was honest enough without the whole truth. "I'm me. Not 'the sick girl' or someone who can't take care of myself. I don't want people looking at me different. I don't want what I have to define who I am." Also true.

Verona understood and from the look on Millie's face she did too. "I understand but I really think you should have told us. Mona says you don't know what it is that you have."

"She doesn't either for that manner. She poured over a bunch of medical dictionaries and found nothing. The bad news is that we don't know what I have. The good new is that a new disease will be named after me, I think. I'll be famous and have my own Wikipedia page. Hurray." She finished dryly.

There was a mad moment where Verona struggled to be serious in what was supposed to be a serious conversation. Her face started looking slightly red and her cheeked stiffened up and her chest quivered in suppressed laughter. After a moment she seemed to win.

Millie spoke with her arms still looped around Seras and head on the older girls lap. "Mona says she has gone to talk to someone who can help you." This made Seras look around and found that indeed Mona was anywhere in sight. "I'm nervous though because she was gone when we woke up and there was only a note."

"Oh no. Not a doctor! I told her no doctors."

In situations where Verona is bewildered or off balance she simply falls back on what she knows how to do best: being a bossy mother figure. "Seras! You are sick! Sick people go to the doctors. You are going." She spoke firmly and with such conviction that Seras almost believed her. Except not without a fight.

"No. I do not want to go. A doctor cannot help me with this and I don't see why I should be poked and prodded." How was a doctor going to be able to cure half-humanism?

"This is nonsense! You need to see a doctor. A seizure isn't something you can just knuckle through. You are going and that's final! Even if I have to have Jed pick you up and carry you over his shoulders. You...are...going."

Seras wilted like a waterless flower. Crap. Lost already. This wasn't an idle threat. Verona had made good on this before by having Jed carry her back to the warehouse when she had hurt her ankle and insisted she could walk. She had refused to put her arm around Stanton's shoulder and three-leg-it back home. So after Verona had given the ultimatum Seras had laughed it off and didn't believe her when she said she would make Jed carry her home. A look to Jed put that notion to bed. Another occasion was when Mona had left the warehouse for a few days and Jed held her down so Verona could get her to drink water. The mans behemoth size meant he was able to hold her down effortlessly.

She leveled a sullen glare at Verona but her silence was enough for the older woman to calm down. Stanton was no where to be found but she did spot Willard when she craned her neck over her shoulder. She saw Ducky in the corner eating a sandwich. "Anyone got any food? I'm hungry."

Xxxxxx

There was a wonderful surprise waiting for Mona when she arrived back at the warehouse: Seras was awake. More or less. She was somewhat muzzy from sleeping so long but she seemed aware enough and was able to talk.

"Hey Moo. Mom said... said you disappeared on us. Don't do that... Makes us worried..."

Relieved that she was okay Mona just flopped on the mattress next to her friend and went to sleep. She was very tired. It was a long day and an even longer tomorrow.

Xxxxxx

Rousing herself at 6:30 Mona prepared herself for the task of wrangling her friend into clothes and 'innocently' spending the day together. She hated this part. Seras wouldn't accept the doctors and she would flat out refuse to be relocated away from the others. She knew that once her friend was in Integra Hellsings house the woman wouldn't let Seras leave... and she had the manpower to do it too. It made Mona feel awful for doing this to her but Mona knew that enough was enough. Doctors and health first.

She packed a could changes of clothes and a few of Seras's personal things and then did the same for herself. Grabbing a few ten pound notes she scribbled the amount into the ledger and left a note explaining that she would explain later. She picked out the tuft of blond hair sticking out from the blankets and poked it with her foot.

"Hey! Wake up! Surprise girls day out!" A few other heads raised up and then plopped down for more sleep. Seras wasn't so lucky since Mona's foot was playing gentle ping pong with her ear. An arm came up and slapped the foot away. "Come on Seras. Up. **Now**."

Some eyes stared at her blearily under the covers. Seras had never been much of a morning person, sometimes sleeping until late in the afternoon. At least Mona now knew why. Her sleep cycle must be very confused on which hours to choose. She crossed her arms trying to look serious. "Seras, either you get out of there by your feet or your getting out of there by your ankles. Which is it?"

A few seconds passed before she slowly started to heave herself up like it took all the effort and strength of Hercules just to get to her elbows. Pleased that her friend was making progress she decided to ready breakfast for the two of them. She found some empty lime Gatorade bottles, filled them up with water from the drinking supply and put some green food coloring in both. She capped them and shook it up. Water ready. She got some bananas, some bread and some peanut butter. Peanut butter banana sandwich. That and some celery. She walked over to the still partially comatose Seras and took advantage by uncapping the "Gatorade" and getting Seras to swallow some while she was still unaware enough to drink it.

Steering her by the elbow she dragged the girl over to the clothing crate.

Xxxxxx

At seven Mona managed to get Seras out the door. She was finally awake enough to start protesting about doctors and how she didn't want to go. It was just early morning grumblings that Mona chose to ignore. Seras was just walking along with her regardless of her complaints. Verona had probably threatened to have Jed become a Seras-packhorse again. They hit the sidewalk of a busy street and Mona made for the subway. They went down the stairs and through the turnstiles. They managed to board the seven before the doors closed. If she was going to do this she might as well do something nice first.

Xxxxxx

Seras was still rather drowsy which didn't help the slight headache forming from the day that promised to be nice and sunny. Neither did the lack of knowing where they were headed help. She just knew it was a doctor but she wasn't certain where they were going. She wasn't exactly sure how she had gotten dressed and out the door but it probably had something to do with the fact that parts of her were running on autopilot. She sat down on the chair and drifted off. Sleepy...

Xxxxxx

'is now arriving at-' A cool and vaguely female electronic voice announced. Her eyes flickered open as something poked and prodded her insistently.

"Wake up! Come on!" She looked up to see Mona hauling her up by her arm. Managing to stand she left her friend steer her out the tram doors onto the sidewalk. Once more she trudged alongside her friend expecting a hospital of some kind. Oh goody. Freak show ready for blood test.

Only Seras found herself proven very wrong as they rounded the corner and she stared at the cart full of screaming people crest the hill and start a gutwrenching drop to the bottom. She could hear the faint strains of irritatingly familiar music. An amusement part. It was a massive one from the looks of it. A Ferris wheel circled slowly, there were people strapped into swings flying around in circles. Mona jumped in front of her with her arms in the air like a gymnast sticking a landing, sporting a wide grin and shouted:

"TADAAAHH! It's a school year on a Monday before 2:30 PM! There are practically no lines for anything. We can ride the teacups until we puke.

Seras laughed. "Ok, ok you got me. I totally expected doctors."

Mona waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Well, I hear the doctors here are attractive. Maybe you'll skin your knee?"

There was an infectious giggling welling up in them. They weren't homeless kids with illnesses or concerns right then. They were two teens supposedly ditching school for a good time. Plus Mona's suggestion that an attractive doctor would fix up her mysteriously scraped 'honestly I don't know how it got there' knee was rather funny. This is what she needed. When was the last time she had some something completely frivolous? In as much the silly fashion her ridiculous friend could muster she curtsied with imaginary skirts and Seras returned it with a bow and proffered an elbow. Grinning like loonies Mona hooked their elbows together and they skipped up to the ticket booths ready for some fun.

Xxxxxx

Just some fluff and a little character development.

Xxxxxx

The two girls had frightened each other silly with a game of hide and seek in the haunted horror house, until ultimately a bored-to-tears teen with a summer job and a bad attitude kicked them out. They rode The Hammerhead, a giant shark ride that flipped them back and forth and upside down, three times. They got lost in the house of mirrors, laughing at their reflections in the mirrors that shrunk heads or enlarged feet. They had both gotten their portraits done by an artist, who, much to Seras mortification, made her boobs larger than her own head. Mona had thought it funny until the man drew her as some sort of Pink Princess character with air headed qualities.

They had a large and wildly unhealthy lunch complete with ice cream, churros to suck up the ice cream and chilly cheese fries. Then Seras proposed they go onto the scariest ride in the park which Mona refused to go on. At least until Seras challenged that the two of them would ride the teacups to see who would puke up first. Whoever kept their lunch down longer than the other or one of the two cried 'uncle' then the other won. Feeling quite green sometime later they got in line for a roller coster that was based on some horror movie called Saw. It was entertaining to Seras and not so much to Mona. Then when Mona begged exhaustion they settled down to play games. Seras found ways to cheat and win prizes. She knew they did stuff like glue the hat onto the mannequins head to prevent people winning, or that the milk bottle tops were too large for you to successfully thrown the ring around. But she found ways. It was a great day in Seras's opinion.

Especially when she saw the movie theaters. Eagerly dragging her friend along with the giant larger than human-sized panda bear in a bag towards the entrance. Mona seemed reluctant to go though.

"Ow! Hey! Your pulling my arm off!"

"Oh, sorry. Let's watch one!" Her eyes scanned the posters to see if there were any pictures that looked appealing. She found one of a family hugging each other and smiling. That looked promising.

"Hey Seras?" The hesitant tone of her friend curbed her enthusiasm long enough to pay attention. There was a subdued quality to her friend that was strange. "You go on ahead. I've got a slight headache. I'll join you soon enough okay?"

"You sure?" She wouldn't leave her friend in pain if she could help it.

There was an encouraging smile and Seras was pushed forward. "Go stupid face and watch a movie. I'm fine."

Mona took the panda bear and prizes from earlier and laid them on a bench. A moment later Seras charged off to go see a movie. Mona picked a phone number out of her pocket that that butler Walter had given her and called in on her disposable cell phone. A few moments later it picked up.

"Ah, Sir Integra?"

"Yes?" Mona stared the phone before returning it to her ear. Good grief she even sounded unwelcoming now.

"I'm bringing Seras later tonight. I will be relying on her being too tired to realize we are in a completely different and wrong part of the city to keep her compliant enough to get to your front gate. But just in case that doesn't pan out please have a car on Grover rode near the tram station ready to pick us up. I highly doubt she will follow me if she thinks I'm taking her somewhere she will not want to be."

Sleepy from the days excitement she shut off the phone, not wanting to deal with the frosty woman. She arranged the bags and backpacks on the bench and curled around them to prevent theft. She needed some sleep to keep up with the imminent temper tantrum yet to be had later by Seras. The girl was NOT going to put up with being relocated. She closed her eyes.

Xxxxxx

Seras filed into the nearly empty theater for the movie. It was dark and slightly chilly even with the sweater she was wearing. She choose a seat near the middle still surprised by how empty it was. There were only two other people a few rows further down near the front. She watched as the advertising scrolled over the screen until finally it went dark and the movie started.

Seras had never cried harder in her life than that day in that theater. She hadn't bothered to hear the title or ask for descriptions of the movie. She figured if she didn't like it she could just hop to a different movie. Yet she hadn't realized the particular movie she had chosen was something she could identify with. If there was a God or fate she felt he must have been laughing at her.

The movie was about a girl who had been terminally ill since a young age. Her mother was determined to save her. So she had another child that had the perfect DNA match to her older sister. She talked about how her body wasn't her own because her parents forced her to give bone marrow transplants and blood transfusions and any number of other things. She watched the girl who was ill hate her own body and self because she was ill. She watched the girl trashing her room and drinking because the grief over her own illness was debilitating. She watched the illness get worse and worse flying out of control of anybody there. She watched the doctors admit that there was nothing they could do to help the older sister. Then the girl finally died in a hospital bed.

Seras was able to identify with almost every single one of the characters on the screen. She had been ill for a long time. Mona was determined to save her. She had no control over her own body no matter what. She still hates her body and how it took away that control. She remembers several times how she had trashed a place or two in her anger and bitterness over being like that. Currently her illness was becoming more out of control by the day. Mona couldn't help her no matter what, and doctors certainly could not fix this either. and she knew that her own illness would eventually kill her. So she sat in one of the chairs watching the movie and with a fist clamped in her mouth she cried years worth the bitter grief out while the three other people in the theater stared at her.

Xxxxxx

Mona had seen the red rimed eyes when Seras left the building but no amount of prodding could get her to say what had happened. So they walked through the butterfly house until Seras cheered up some. The tropical butterflies were rather beautiful. Then the reptile house where they had petted a large boa constrictor. With that done and with great regret they knew that the day was over and that the park was closing in thirty minutes at five pm. They had been there for nearly ten hours. So they filed out and walked to the tram. Seras hadn't bothered to check which one. She was feeling rather drained.

Xxxxxx

Setting a trap for a wild animal is not all that different from the strategy for trapping a human: strike unexpectedly. Once frightened or stunned your prey needs to be steered towards the intended goal where, once there, the target is irreversibly trapped. Seras was as sleepy as Mona had crossed her fingers for from the day of excitement. They leisurely walked along the fading light of Grover rd towards the Hellsing estate. Her friend was in a special state of sleep where she was unconscious but still functioning enough to walk with a little steering help from a pinch-full of shirt. However when the gate came in sight and they began to pass through her friend woke up enough to question why. Which made things inconvenient.

Blinking owlishly at the looming four story mansion in front of her she locked her knees and resisted the tugs Mona gave.

"Hey Mona, where are we?" Her friend looked very uncomfortable and even guilty. Seras couldn't fathom why. They were entering from the front gate with a bunch of armed guards as witnesses so they couldn't be here to 'work'. Her sleep-soused brain did a quick backtrack. Armed guards?!

Putting her hands up in a placating gesture Mona spoke in what was probably supposed to be a soothing, but was just a pleading, voice. "Seras, just come inside and I will explain everything." The suspicious glare she got in return did nothing for the situation.

"Tell me what's going on!"

"Just come inside won't you?" but Mona could tell the cogs and wheels were turning inside that head. Any moment now she was going to run. Oh no...

Mona turned to the soldiers helplessly and they rallied magnificently. Smartly they grabbed Seras under each arm and propelled her forward as she struggled and hollered her displeasure. They got to the porch and Walter was at the door waiting for them. Mona sighed in relief. This was going to be hard but at least the most difficult part was over. Getting Seras to the mansion was three fifths the battle. Getting her to stay was way harder.

Xxxxxx

Kicking ankles, shins, knees and even a lucky hit with the groin was doing nothing. They must have been informed ahead of time that she fought as dirty and viciously as she could. She had felt the shin guards and cups they were wearing under their clothing with her feet. And the way they were holding her shoulders meant she couldn't even elbow them in the eyes. They just grunted occasionally in pain but kept walking, frog-hopping her up a pair of stairs and turning left down a hallway.

Another part of her was outrageously incensed because it was clear Mona had orchestrated the whole damn thing. She didn't know precisely what was about to happened but it was Mona's fault! So she cursed profusely with all the colorful words you learn living on the street with as much emotion and feeling as she could. She finally shut her mouth when they reached a dark oak door that opened up into the office. She settled for a baleful glare at the older woman seated at the desk who seemed to be expecting them. She was deposited into a seat next to her friend who she refused to look at. She didn't like people trying to trick her. She liked it even less if they succeeded. So she sat in her chair seething angrily at the older man from the front door who locked the office door and made a show of throwing the key out the window.

The woman behind the chair had to repeat a question a few times before it grabbed her attention.

"You are Seras?" There was a disbelieving look on Seras's face as if to say 'you planned all this and you really need to ask?'. The woman put down her cigar and directed her gaze to her. "I understand your angry and I shall tell you honestly that I do not care. Despite your friends interest in the matter and the reasons she gives, in my eyes you are really here for only one reason. Your heritage."

She gaped at the woman flat footed. Alucard had said she was half human but she couldn't believe someone else was on about it. "I have no heritage as I have no parents." She returned flatly.

"Yes, I was told about that as well." Seras shot a venomous glare to her right which was studiously ignored. Oh, so Mona was handing out all the tidbits was she? "However a lack of being raised by parents doesn't not mean you never had them. It is my interest in your mother, or, in some cases, father, that is your reason for being here. Specifically your illness being a byproduct of that occurrence is also a factor."

Seras was rather incensed by all this so she felt justified in her rudeness. "I'm still waiting for the bottom line here, lady."

The woman's gaze sharpened fiercely in a way that didn't faze Seras at all. "Very well. My name is Sir Integra Hellsing. I run the Hellsing organization, a religious order that's sole mission is to kill vampires that cause trouble. We protect humans from danger in service to the queen. Your condition being the result from a vampire but you still human means I am willing to help you with medical needs."

Silent for a while Seras considered this and defrosted slightly towards her friend. Medical help. That's what Mona brought her here for. She turned towards Mona to speak. "You brought me here for the doctors?" For the first time since entering the office Mona looked at her and spoke.

"Seras... I can't help you anymore. I don't know how. I have no idea what I am doing and reading a few medical journals no more makes me a doctor then putting on a wig makes you a brunet."

Mona looked so frustrated and helpless that Seras relaxed somewhat some more. She felt sorry for what her friend had to deal with. She still didn't like this but it made the situation better that it was out of concern. Yet her more stubborn parts rallied to resist any sort of change.

"No. We are fine. We have been doing well on our own." The words came out with a wooden tone that suggested little conviction in her own words, but it still got an outburst from Mona. She stood up so fast her chair fell backwards and hit the floor. Her face was filled with outraged disbelief.

"I can't believe you would say that Seras! And to me of all people! Me! Who has witnessed every single thing that your illness puts you through when even you are too feverish to remember it! We are not fine! It's been a long time since we have been fine! Or did you forget about how I got this?!"

Mona wrenched down the collar of her shirt and turned her neck slightly where three pink scars ran diagonally from the back of her neck down to her carotid artery. Seras was cringing in her chair slightly looking ill. But Mona was far from done. She looked like she was just getting started and it seemed Sir Integra felt the more information given the better. She let go of her shirt and continued on.

"I care for you Seras. I always have, but what you become when you are sick isn't you. It's out of control and dangerous. It isn't human and I don't know how to handle it anymore. I never want to have to knock you out with a lead pipe again or-or have to sit there like some useless lump while you burn up with fevers that should kill anyone else! I just can't help you! I don't know how. I'm tired of plugging my ears while you yell out in pain. There's nothing I can do for you! Fucking nothing! So for god fucking sakes take the god fucking damned doctors and say god damn fucking thank you!"

She panted for a moment before bending down to right her chair and she sat down. Seras was silent as she struggled to regain herself. She had never heard her friend say these things before. She hadn't known about the scars or the emotional strain Mona felt.

"I'm sorry Mona. I didn't know this was so hard for you." Seras spoke quietly. "I don't mind doctors if it helps you. A visit now and then isn't hard for my illness."

It was a good victory to get Seras to accept the idea of doctors- if it wasn't for the fact the other foot was going to drop any moment now. and here it came in the form of Walter clearing his throat.

"If I may Sir Integra?" A nod gave the necessary permission. "My name is Walter Dornez miss Seras and I'm afraid there will not be any scheduled visits here from you."

Drawing her eyebrows together Seras felt very confused. "But I'm to come here for doctors. How can I see them without visiting? I mean I would have to not leave or live here to... do that..." The bits of information were falling into place as she began to catch on. The several changes of clothing in the backpacks Mona had packed up. It was weird but she had shrugged it off. The guilty looks on Mona's face. Walter addressed her again with a remorseful expression.

"You are not fully human Miss Seras and therefore you fall into Hellsings jurisdiction. We would be remiss in our duties if we let you leave knowing you pose a possible threat while your ailment is acting up. There is a set of rooms for you and-"

"No." Seras spoke calmly and there wasn't any emotion to the sentence. she stated it as if it were fact. Walter looked slightly taken aback. "No. I will not live here. The warehouse is my home and its all I've know for a long time. I agreed to the doctors but not living here. The way I see this situation is either I will be visiting for doctors or you're trying to tell me that my living here is mandatory for treatment. At that point I will be leaving."

There was a extended pause before Walter spoke again. "I regret to inform you that you will not be permitted to leave. Your illness is volatile and supernatural in nature. By government regulations that makes you a ward of court under the Hellsing organizations control. I recommend you become comfortable here as there are soldiers manning the doors, gates and patrolling the property 24 hours a day."

There was a cold spot in her as she froze. It was like her blood ran through her ears as thunder did the sky. They were forcing her to stay here? They were willing to imprison her? It made her feel terribly angry now that she was grasping the enormity of the situation. But there was also a hollow pit of loss. She ignored it. Loss implied that they had won. She stood steadfast in her convictions.

"You cannot make me stay here and I will **not** stay here. I will **not** be held against my will."

Mona broke in, still trying to salvage the situation. "Seras please!"

This time it was Integra who spoke but she sounded far from desperate. She was just calm and watching. "Am I to assume you will take any opportunity to escape, including sneaking out at night?"

"Yes. I will not be held here."

"Very well, Seras, I shall have to assign you a new room to spend your time in until you change your mind. _Alucard_!"

Startled from the familiar name, she watched in flabbergasted surprise as the dark haired vampire she had come to know walked through the wall. Alucard here?! But... But... Integra... He was a vampire! Her organization... In the end all she could manage was a brilliantly stupid:

"You!" He was grinning again in a way that left her heart sinking horribly. He turned to Integra and bowed slightly.

"You called master?"

"Yes Alucard. Our new ward has decided she will not be staying with us voluntarily so I will be giving her a room I know she can't escape from unnoticed."

Seras was getting an inkling of what the woman was saying and it made her insides crawl. She was also clueing into what was going on. Alucard worked to kill ghouls and vampires with a gun. She was sitting in the office of an organization that kills vampires and ghouls. I.e Alucard worked for Integra... Alucard worked here. He lived here. He had a room here... and then the woman had summoned him to talked about getting her a new room. It seemed he realized it as well because his smile got wider.

"Really? Oh where shall she sleep master?" The innocent confused act fooled no one. The effect was also rather ruined by the slight grin at the corners of his mouth. Seras still had her fingers crossed that she was wrong. She wasn't.

"She shall be sleeping in your room until she is willing to stay voluntarily." Alucard was smirking the widest she ever saw and she dreaded the kind of tricks he would play. Staring wide eyed in shock she knew her situation had gone from bad to worse quickly but Integra just continued on. "Walter, please see to it that a bed is placed in Alucards room with the appropriate fittings. I have a feeling she is going to be there for a while before she decides to stay of her own will."

The man somehow produced a spare key from his vest and opened the door to follow his tasks. Seras folded her arms and glowered darkly at the whole thing. But Integra had one more thing to say and she addressed Seras. "Welcome to the Hellsing Institute. You are now a ward of court."


	14. We Are Not What We Are Called

This is me, the author of several stories, speaking to you, the reader; and before you have a stress ulcer because your leaping to conclusions... Relax. I am not quitting. However I am writing something personal here for anyone interested. If you simply want the story, then simply skip this and move down to the Xxxxxx. And before you do read for anyone who hasn't skipped, I don't want condolences. It's all I've gotten about this for a long time. I'd prefer empathy to sympathy.

Its a twilight zone phenomenon thats not in the traditional sense. It's not some unexplained apeman outside the window of an airplane that only you noticed... or being the only man in the world to survive a nuclear fallout only to realize that you won't even get to enjoy your books because your reading glasses are broken. It's not a rare event that happens every century like Haley's comet. The phenomenon being that this is something that happens all the time to people... but... somehow, even though we see it coming for so long, it's still a shock to us when it does happen.

My father getting his transplant felt like a triumph, a prize hard-won and fought for.

In June before my sixteenth birthday my fathers failing health had finally been diagnosed when he was rushed to the ER as complete renal failure. In May of the following year my father got a kidney transplant. Now, on the verge of turning twenty years old, his transplanted kidney is rejecting, his liver is now failing and he will not last the year. My birthday is July 22, 1993. I was born on my dads birthday. He is fifty-two. I'm told I will never have another birthday shared with him, and he will never make it to Christmas.

My last Christmas with him ever was spent in the hospital. I feel like a meteor has been coming my way for four whole years and I finally can't avoid it anymore. Why is that? Why when even with four years knowing this is coming I still can't believe it's happening? So if I stop writing for a while... You all will know what has happened... and why...

Xxxxxx

Seras was not afraid of doctors. Nor did she hate them. It wasn't a question of money either. She had grown up knowing she wasn't normal and then doing everything possible to deny it. Doctors would only confirm her abnormal qualities with facts. Then there was the fact that the one time she had allowed Mona to drag her into a free clinic, her first experience had been less than savory. After that she had decided, that while unreasonable, all doctors would be painted with the same brush.

Walking down a hall towards the infirmary made her nervous. Walter and the soldiers escorted her to the door and with a light push the older man guided her into the room. However her fears were put to rest when a women in a white lab coat greeted her warmly. "Hello, I'm mrs. Storn. I'm to be your doctor." The slightly plump, older woman had bit of white in her faded once-upon-a-time blonde hair. The easy going manner also put Seras at rest.

"Seras." She extended her hand, trying to remember all the niceties. "Umm... Nice to meet you."

It was slightly strange just how nice the other lady was being. It kind of made Seras feel bad about her fears from before. "Good to meet you. Take a seat." Having sat she then watched at the doctor shifted through a bunch of papers. The reproving tone of her next sentence caught Seras off guard until she realized she wasn't the one being addressed. "Thank you Walter but I can take it from here. The guards are not necessary either."

Looking around, slightly startled she realized the older man was still there. There was also the two armed guards. However it seemed he wasn't having with their dismissal. "I understand your position on this Agnes but the guards need to stay because miss Seras here refuses to stay voluntarily."

She huffed irritably. "Not going you say? Tosh! They are not necessary. I value my patients privacy and their presence. She is not going anywhere until we are done. Now get them OUT of here!" She pointed for emphasis. Seras had expected the matter to be settled in failure when Walter refused to give the order. However she hadn't counted on the gall of her first doctor. The women went to a closet, opened it and fished out a broom of all things. Then she brandished it with both hands like a boa staff and thrust out at armed guards no less. "Out! OUT! Shoo!"

Apparently fearless in the knowledge that they wouldn't shoot her and the men cowed by the idea of shooting an elderly woman a whole foot than them they complied, to Seras's amazement. Agnes locked the door with an air of self satisfaction and turned smiling to Seras. "Now, Seras dear, I'm going to have to take down some medical history from you. There's no need to lie to me, I've heard it all and won't judge you."

But Seras wasn't quite over the surprise of seeing two men with guns being intimidated out the door with a straw broom. "But you just- I-I mean- they had guns!"

A graying eyebrow arched and with a perfectly placid tone she declared, "Sometimes to get rid of pests all you need to do is give a good whacking with a broom."

Xxxxxx

After being shown to a large room on the third floor, which probably had the greatest four poster bed in history, Mona knew she would like it here... or at least it wouldn't suck. However she found drawbacks in the situation in general were things like Seras's clear anger at her friend and now she had no idea where Seras was. She was worrying in general. Mona hadn't expected this to all start smoothly but she hadn't realized things would hit the fan so perfectly. Seras was determined to leave. She was angry at Mona. Seras was sharing a room with that... that strange man who wasn't human and clearly had a sort of agenda as far as Seras was concerned. Mona didn't like it.

Xxxxxx

The following morning Mona woke up, changed and began to unpack her clothing into the large dresser. Her dresser. Her bed. Her room? It was quite the experience. It had been nearly ten years since she had owned her own room or even had unpacked clothing into a dresser. Had it really been that long? Ten years spent away from the house? last time she had been home her father was drunk again and so was her mother. Normally he hit the woman, but that one Saturday was the first and last time her father had ever hit the little girl. She left that night having stolen 50 pounds from the bottom drawer.

She shook the memories away like rain from a dogs coat and decided to go check on how Seras was doing. She was also anxious to get a gauge and to see how long it would be before her friend would forgive her.

Xxxxxx

Finding Walter turned out to be easy. Every maid, soldier or even service men that wouldn't look at her or give the time of day would whirl their head around faster than the exorcist at his name. It seemed he was unofficially in charge here of certain matters and was also able to dismiss from the house anyone he desired gone. So employees always kept an eye out for him just in case they weren't always on their best behavior. Currently the Walter Global Employee Positioning System was informing her that he could be found in the armory on the bottom floor.

After taking the wrong turn three times and getting redirected she finally found him. To her surprise though it seemed she was next on his list of to-do's. He also had news she didn't like.

"I sympathize miss Mona, but I'm afraid until miss Seras has an attitude change towards her stay here she is to remain under lock and key as often as possible. Also our doctors here are on a night schedule and she will not be leaving her room until then. You can meet her then."

"But if you have guards can't we just-"

"No."

"Not even if we-"

"_No_." Mona was almost eighteen and was far more mature, smarter and experienced than most twenty year old s. However the stern and unyielding behavior Walter was exhibiting was messing with her emotions and beginning to affect her view on the situation. He seemed so unreasonable. What was worse was that he wasn't even being rude.

Just when it seemed she would talk again he cut her off.

"The difference between a request and a demand are clear Miss Mona. A request is when you ask and are willing to accept no for what it is. Just because you make a demand by making it seem a request doesn't mean you will get your way. The answer is 'no'. I am sorry. I am, but I also need to consider the fact that your friend could get sick anytime or develop a new symptom that could include aggression. The scar you showed proves that its possible. Seras being under supervision by Alucard is best if she is not willing to cooperate with us."

Biting her tongue Mona managed to reign herself in and consider what he said. Unfortunately he was right. "I just really want to talk with her. I know she is angry with me." His expression became sympathetic.

"Yes, I suspected that was what it was about. I am willing to come get you for her first exam later?" The offer had her nodding eagerly. "I do need to speak to you about any information you can supply me. I am finding it difficult to get any information on Seras's past due to her memories coming from early childhood. I hope to get more from you if you can help."

Xxxxxx

Having Agnes as a doctor wasn't terrible. The woman was rather sweet but had a saucy tongue that made Seras laugh and relax about being in a medical exam. It was all rather standard so far. Have you ever done any drugs? No. Smoked? Drank? STD's? No, no and no. If she doubted Seras she didn't indicate so. She also had a gift for stories that managed to distract Seras at moments like when some blood needed to be drawn.

"I'm driving through the fast food place and I realize I can't find my wallet." A cotton swab wipes down some skin. "My grandson is in the back seat as I start rifling through the mess in my car." Readying the needle. "Well my grandson at the time was seven and he had left a toy there and so I yell out 'Duck!' to him and throw it behind me." Injecting it into the skin. "I forgot how literal he could take things so he yells out 'where?!' And it hits him in the head!"

This does make Seras laugh and before she knows it the blood draw is over. "What happened after?"

The lines near her eyes crinkled as she smiled and started marking down some things on a chart. "Oh he was fine. My daughter-in-law wasn't happy though. It didn't help that retelling the story made me laugh uncontrollably. I couldn't stop."

It had been a long time since Seras had had any true mother figure or role model in her life. She had no memories of her mothers face or voice. Vague half-memories of Lisa and a long list of distrustful relationships with adult acquaintances who in some way or another, had given her reason to stay away.

Agnes was... well she was cool! More than that. Seras found herself admiring the older woman. She was not scared easily. She didn't judge Seras or act on preconceived notions on what a homeless person was. She believed her when Seras said she had never taken drugs, except Tylenol, and hadn't had a drink in her life. She didn't scoff when Seras admitted she had never done any sort of sexual activity.

Agnes was graceful and had an easy air about her that set any nervous patient at ease. What was more amazing to Seras was the realization that Agnes didn't look _through_ her, as most people did, but _at_ her as if she, Seras, was really there. Agnes had a sense of human and wasn't some stuffy doctor too busy to listen. It was wonderful to realize that she had a womanly figure to look up to and consult for help at anytime, an offer that Seras cherished even if she didn't say so.

However, even the humorous stories offered up couldn't distract from her abnormalities. Medical history taken. Blood drawn. Blood pressure taken and noted down. Breathing capacity and rhythm. All normal. Except, now the stethoscope was brought out and Seras shrugged out of her shirt for the woman to take her pulse. Agnes Storn got quite the shock off her life.

The cold mettle pressed on her left just below the collar bone. The woman frowned slightly and slid it gently downwards. A sharp intake of breath. Then her eyes opened and the O of her lips expressed her state of mind. She glanced up to Seras and then back to the stethoscope. Unable to bear the tension in the room Seras lost some of her cool and asked what was wrong.

"Is something wrong with me?" There was an undefinable look to the older woman's eyes and she pulled the stethoscope out of her ears. She instead put them on Seras and held the stethoscope up to her own heart for a long while.

_Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-_

Then with a careful slowness Agnes pressed the rounded disk onto Seras's chest just below the clavicle on the left. At first Seras heard nothing but then-

_tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-..._

For a terrifying eight seconds Seras though she was dying, until she heard the rhythm pick right back up.

_-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-Eight seconds of rest.-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-tm-Eight seconds of rest._

Then Agnes's hand pulled the disk away and placed it back on her own heart.

_Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-Dub-Lub-_

In a strained voice the woman managed to speak, seeming to regain her composure. "Your quite the medical mystery dear. In all my years, even here at the Hellsing estate, I've never run across something as unique as this." And to Seras's relief there was no fear, disgust or any negative emotion. There was a bit of surprise there but also a woman who seemed to have found a challenge she liked. And she correctly divined Seras's thoughts from her face and cut right through them. "Now don't go doing that." She said sharply.

"Doing what?"

"Blaming yourself, callin' yourself names. No doubt this had emotionally put you through the wringer but I won't stand for it. I think your a delightful young woman with the strength of two and when push comes to shove, the balls to prove it." Her face gentles and her voice softened. "Seras, we can't choose our parent and sometimes even if they aren't the best what we are should be by who be behave to be. You may not entirely be human but I view that as an illness rather than a defining character."

Seras was crying heavily because in one minute, just for a few seconds, Agnes had managed what Mona couldn't in six years of trying: She believed she wasn't a monster. It was a flutter of of hope. The weakest ember amidst and ocean of tears and self-recriminations. She didn't know if she could believe it but for three wonderful seconds she felt happy: then it died, snuffed out, drowned by her negative thoughts that replayed all the things wrong with her. She cried all the harder for it. Agnes wasn't done talking yet and Seras found herself glued to every single word. Agnes had her hands on Seras's shoulders and was looking her in the eye.

"Seras, look at me and please listen carefully, because this is something I rarely speak of but it's damned important non-the-less. My father was emotionally abusive. He called me every name under the sun often enough that eventually I believed everything said. By the time I reached nineteen years of age I had done it all. Sex, drugs, alcohol, prostitution, cutting, you name it. It wasn't until I was twenty one that I realized I had taken up my fathers work: I called myself names and accepted at face value what others said about me. He no longer had to do it himself. I did. Constantly. I was at my lowest point when it happened. Graffiti is what saved my life, of all things."

Breathing heavily Seras sniffles and listened. "Are you listening?" Seras nodded. "'We stem from the root planted in the belief that we are not what we are called'. Isn't that beautiful? I must have sat all night in that alley reading that and crying. I wasn't what they said I was. I wasn't worthless, or trash or stupid or anything else they said I was. I was me and I rejected all the little labels they put on me including the ones I gave myself."

Tentatively Seras spoke. "What happened next?" Agnes smiled as Seras calmed down.

"I got myself together, I got a job as a waitress while I figured out what to do with my life. I struggled so hard to reject the little labels my darker parts tried to give me but eventually I conquered my past and put it behind me. I secured a dumpy little apartment and decided I was going to college. I became a student, a doctor, a coworker, a friend, a wife, a mother and now I'm a grandmother. I know what it's like to hit rock bottom and then start digging. I _know_ what it's like when your all alone and your thoughts are your worst enemy Seras. _**I know. **_

But what I know for certain is that that your are not a freak or a monster or any other name you could think of for your condition. 'We stem from the root planted in the belief that we are not what we are called.'

Monster or freak are what you make of them. There are men and women on death row in America and London and Japan because they have raped, tortured and murdered people. They are human, yes- but still monsters. Now in front of me I see a young woman whose gentle at heart, is considerate of others and whose worst offense is some pickpocketing. Considered what your are going through right now, and that you haven't done drugs or sex or self harming, you are far braver than I. You made it."

Seras couldn't restrain herself any longer. She jumped off the medical examination bed and threw her arms around the woman, clinging as if to a life preserver. She wasn't certain if she was crying out of happiness or fear or sadness or just for the sake of crying but it was something she would never forget.

She would revisit this memory for years to come.

Xxxxxx

Mona slowly closed the door to the medical room and backed away.

She had come to the door and had hesitated outside, knowing she was being chicken. Seras's appointment had only been ten minutes in by the time Mona had gotten there. She had decided that perhaps she should just crack the door and watch in case Seras needed support. Mona reprimanded herself for feeling disappointed that Seras didn't need it. She was laughing at a story while her blood was being drawn. And then she heard every word that woman said and saw how strongly it affected her friend. Seras was mourning her mortality and humanity. Seeing how angry she was at Mona would need to wait.

Although Mona was disappointed she would have to wait she was relieved that someone was finally making headway where she had been failing for a long time. For years now she had listened to her friends fears, watched as Seras bounced in and out of denial about what she was and was helpless as her friend slowly imploded. Mona had told Seras countless times that she was NOT a monster or a freak. Seras after a few minutes would thank her and smile, but Mona saw it in the eyes that Seras never quite believed her. Perhaps with that Agnes woman's help she could finally convince Seras.

Xxxxxx

I simply adored this chapter. And yes, while going through a McDonald's drive through my mom yelled 'duck!', threw a ceramic mug behind her and my brother looked around eagerly for a bird, just before the mug introduced itself to his skull.

-He Will Knock Four Times


	15. Changes, Cheating and Deception

**_"I watched in abject horror through a telescope and saw that all the roads ahead of me were already pinned in place by handleless blades. The roads were not my own to make and any attempt to chose my own path would result in me being cut. All freedom had been sliced from under my feet..."_**

By the time the appointment was over Seras was rather subdued. Agnes hadn't said much either, suspecting correctly that there was much to think about. Walter arrived and raised an eyebrow at Seras's red-rimed eyes but had the tact to say nothing about it. She walked with them quietly, so preoccupied she nearly stumbled down a flight of stairs but was saved by Walter. It was an almost zombie-esque Seras that showed up in front of Alucard when she arrived back in his room. She felt him staring even if she couldn't see him in the dark. Thankfully her eyes weren't red anymore. She didn't much feel up to being taunted about it. She automatically walked over to her bed and drew the curtain around it. She sat down on the bed, slightly num.

When she was all cried out Agnes had told her some things that left the ground she stood on spinning. Even worse was Seras had admitted certain things to the older woman she hadn't even told Mona. She felt rather small. She found herself questioning things she had accepted as true. It was uncomfortable and rather scary for Seras to realize there was so little certainty. She didn't know things for certain like she had before. _I'm not... a monster? I don't know about that. If actions define me but I'm not human, what am I? _She certainly recognized patterns about her thoughts now that Agnes had pointed them out. She did criticize herself often and called herself a freak and monster during her darker moments. Was it really that easy; she felt like a freak because of her condition or because she repeated it often enough in her head until she believed it. Was it both? Alucard seemed to think that monster was some sort of compliment. Was it a matter of good monsters and bad monsters? _Do I take Agnes's advice and accept all of myself?_

She grappled these thoughts with little success. She didn't know if she could accept her parentage and the things that came with it. She felt rather lost and at times like this she had always had Mona there to help sort it out, but she felt so angry too. _She tricked me but was worried about me. She brought me here knowing what was going to happen but did it to get me doctors._ She didn't know whether to hug or punch her friend in the face. Maybe both? The point is she missed Mona and wanted to talk to her or at least something to distract herself for a while. She, unfortunately, got her wish in the worst way possible when he spoke to her through the curtain.

Xxxxxx Wish granted shadowanime1! Xxxxxx

"I would be all too happy to help distract you Seras."

She jerked at his voice and stared at the curtain where he probably would be, starting to feel angry. He had been reading her thoughts! Again! She narrowed her eyes and pulled the curtain open. Too little too late she realized it was an useless act since it was rather dark outside of her curtained area. Even with her blurred lines with human and something else her eyesight in the dark wasn't helping. She just just barely make out the table. Lamp light only went so far. "Stay out of my head! How much did you listen in on you creep?!"

He chuckled. Always laughing. "Oh, just about everything. Agnes has always been a good source of entertainment around Walter. He once sought her romantically and she turned him down. Now they are like cats and dogs. Very amusing to observe when there is nothing to do. Then, of course, there's you and your appointment."

She felt herself shaking slightly in his presence but from fear or anger or shock she couldn't fathom. He had saw everything? Saw her crying? Heard everything that had just happened? Everything Agnes had told her? The things she confessed? She was too tired though to spend the energy on yelling more.

"Why would you do that to me? I was under the impression it was safe to tell her things I had never told even Mona. I have so few people to confide in, you just informed me that no conversation I have is truly private and that I can't have the confidence to try it again because you'll be listening. Why did you do that to me?"

There was an extended pause and when he spoke again there was no apology in his voice. It was probably too much to hope to ever get that. "You would have preferred I had not told you?"

"I would prefer you don't spy on private conversations but if you won't do that then don't tell me. Agnes is- _was_ going to be the few people I trusted with things but you letting me know makes me think I had better not."

There was another pause. Seras had never seen him at a loss. He was always confident and in control. Perhaps her request had made him think twice? "Very well. I will not spy on you anymore."

Wryly, she smiled. "Do you mean you won't spy on me or you just won't tell me you are?"

"What I said is what I mean." Oh, damn. He was being all mysterious again. She wouldn't be getting much out of him right now.

"Anyways, you shouldn't listen in to people's thoughts, especially mine."

"Oh?" She knew she was in trouble when he used that tone of voice. It was gleefully teasing. "Why? Does the idea of me being inside you make you nervous?"

Her eyes shot open at the innuendo and her face was turning three championship colors of pink. Did he just- Oh my god! He was already laughing before she was spluttering at him in outrage. She may have lived on the streets and she knew quite a bit about sex but that didn't mean she had ever had it. She moaned in embarrassment through her hands. "Bor just bying tobe ifficult."

Alucard capitalized on the opportunity for more fun. "Am I being too hard on you?" Of course she shrieked in embarrassment as the second double-entendre reached her ears. She searched for any sort of insult she could. Managed and only found one that was lame even to her own ears.

"You-you perve!" She closed the curtain and valiantly resisted all further attempts at conversation. Ooh! He just made her so mad sometimes.

Xxxxxx

When half your body sleeps from approximately 8 pm to 8 am but the other half would rather reverse the A's and the P's, you get a very weird sleep schedule. Her body started feeling tired somewhere around 2:30 am and when she opened her eyes next and saw the clock it was suddenly 12 in the afternoon. Wow. She didn't even remember closing her eyes. She did remember that she had thought long and hard about the things Agnes had said to her though.

She supposed she wasn't much of a monster to judge by her actions. Maybe Agnes was right? She fumbled the nightstand until she found the switch, turning her eyelids into wrinkles as she pressed it on. She blinked owlishly at the light and decided she might as well get dressed. She finished and pulled back the curtain with her flashlight. She could make out Alucard's form in the chair, but he wasn't moving or taunting. He was still awake? Or-?

She tiptoed closer and realized that he was slumped slightly with his eyes closed. It was a sort of fascination that made her go closer till her knees were nearly brushing his. She was careful not to shine the light on his face so as not to wake him. He didn't look very malicious or taunting or evil or anything. Just calm. It was sort of nice to see him like that. His hair slightly covered his left eye. He also looked a little older like this. His eyes snapped opened, a hand grabbed her arm and she shrieked.

"BOO!" She toppled backwards onto the ground at his feet and lay there with her heart racing. He was just laughing. Huffing she got up and smacked his head but he didn't seem to care. She gripped her chest where her heart was. He just laughed.

"YOU WERE AWAKE?! You- you asshole!"

"You are very amusing."

"Ugh! You are like a child! A spoiled only child."

After a moment he seemed to get over his amusement and then as if considering something he responded. "Not quite. I was a spoiled child, with siblings."

Poleaxed by this she fell silent and curiosity won again. "You had a sister or something?"

"Brothers. Three of them. I was the second oldest."

She couldn't help but notice the 'was' and felt some pity for him. She had a pretty good idea what had happened but asked anyway. She sat in a chair by the table. "Where are they?"

He didn't seem to care. "Dead. Mircea, Vlad, and Radu died a long time ago. There was a war."

This led to another question that hadn't occurred to Seras before. He looked about anywhere from twenty five to thirty three, but how old was he really? Where was he from? He sometimes had an accent she couldn't quite place. He also seemed in a giving mood. "Which one? You don't strike me as part of the revolutionary war."

He chuckled. "Much, much older than that little girl. I was already over a hundred before your king James the VI was in diapers."

Even with her limited knowledge of history she gaped at him. She remembered that King James was queen Elizabeths cousin and was born around the sixteen hundreds. This guy was over five hundred years old! That was- well hell! That was really old! "That is quite a few tree rings on you." She couldn't quite remember where she had learnt it but the inside of trees had these age stripes that were ten years for every line it had. He just grinned.

Another thought came to her wistfully. "I sometimes wished I had siblings. I- it seemed like a nice idea."

He snorted in contempt. "I didn't care about my siblings or my father."

Surprised at the statement she looked back to him. "Really? No one?"

After a moment of thought he seemed to grudgingly correct himself. "Radu, my youngest brother was the only one I had a soft spot for. Mircea and Vlad were only my half-brothers, products of my father's many mistresses. I didn't associate them. Radu I cared for. Everyone else I had no use for save for when I needed something."

She considered this and felt sad. "That's horrible."

"Really?"

"Yes. To have almost no one you care for except for when you needed something. And you lost your little brother. It sounds lonely."

"How sentimental of you. You also seem to feel pity for me. That's foolish girl. I need none and never have."

She stared at him a little while and gave up trying to understand. She was also rather hungry. When was Walter going to come by with lunch? A motion in the corner of her eye caught her attention and she felt rather embarrassed when Alucard pointed to a plate of food on the table she hadn't noticed. "Oh. Thanks." She decided to ignore the obvious mind reading and pulled it closer while muttering under her breath. "Couldn't see the forest because of all the trees." He chuckled at this.

As she ate another thought came to her. "Hey, how come your still awake anyways? I thought there was some truth to the sleeping in the day thing?"

"Only weaker vampires need sleep girl. I haven't needed to sleep in some four hundred years. However it is a way to pass time when things get slow."

She looked at him, astounded. "Worse case of insomnia ever?" She joked weakly. She couldn't think of what else to say to that so she went back to eating. She couldn't imagine what it was like to not need sleep. It was a pretty weird idea in of itself. Sure she may not sleep at certain hours like others but even she slept. Even with him as a distraction it couldn't keep the things Agnes had told her far from her mind. They snuck up on her and she was back to square one. Accept myself for what I am? How can I do that when I don't even know what I am? And there arrived the crux of the problem: I don't know what I am but does that affect who I am? She put down the fork nervously.

"Um..." She dropped her gaze before his caught hers. Hearing about her inhumanity was hard enough without unnatural eyes to remind her. "I was wondering if-" She fell silent, wondering if she could put this off. Apparently not.

"You have my attention, I assure you."

Squirming slightly under his gaze she finally bit the bullet. "Agnes told me some things I should do if I want-" She searched for a way to put it. "If I want to be happier ... about myself. I'm thinking I might try a few."

"Really?" He drawled in a way that condescendingly oozed out a 'do go on'.

"Yes and I was wondering if you would... If you would tell me more about what I-... what I am..."

She finally raised her eyes a little and quickly put them back down, intimidated by the intensity of his gaze. Seras was quickly learning that Alucard had this terrible ability to give his _**FULL ATTENTION**_ to you. She heard him shifting in his seat and could tell he was turning towards her more. Wondering if he wasn't willing to tell her she quickly muttered out an apology. "Never mind. It was stupid. Sorry."

There was another silence before:

"Half human, half vampires are known as damphyres." She looked up and tried to show she was listening carefully. "It is more common for the vampire mother to produce with a human father. They are less likely to eat him before sex becomes involved. A male vampires seed is also harder to successfully inseminate a human egg. With human mothers there is a higher chance that the child will miscarry, be still-born or for the mother to die before the fifth month."

He had already leaned back with his legs crossed, prepared for a longer lecture. "Whenever a child is successfully birthed a majority of their vampiristic traits remain dormant until about eight years of age. They start becoming ill."

Seras couldn't help herself and cut in to ask a question. "Why?"

He looked at her and the answer he gave wasn't good news. "Humans and vampires were not meant to procreate or produce young of their own. This state of being half cannot continue forever. Humans cannot sustain the needs the growing vampire half requires and the vampire half is parasitic in nature. You are sick because your body is changing into a vampire at a exceedingly slow rate. It doesn't have what it needs to change you quickly and your human half is fighting back. There are times when you become very ill?"

She nodded, mouth feeling dry. She watched him tell her things that made her breathing start to become shallower and her heart racing. She watched him in the way that an executionee's eyes haunt the man with the axe coming toward them with a purpose in mind. Changing... into something else? "Those are the times when your vampire half is winning but eventually it subsides and the more human traits become dominant for a time. Overtime you become more ill at a more frequent rate."

She realized she was shivering now. Her voice was starting to quaver with her fear. Her stomach was clenched and she didn't know if she was going to thrown up or not. "I can't be human? I can't beat this?"

"No. None have succeeded and lived longer than a few days."

She felt ill. So much stress and turmoil boiling inside her that she felt like she was going to puke. She had no choice? She found herself breathing fast and she almost couldn't control it. Her heart sped off at an increasing rate and she got up pacing like she wanted, no, needed to run away but she couldn't go anywhere. Tears were rolling down her face in silent paths. She wasn't even crying loudly. Just pacing and the pain in her scalp informed her that she had been pulling her own hair. She hadn't even known noise was coming out of her mouth until the roaring in her ears faded slightly.

"Oh my god I- I- What- can't- can't do this- I can't do this! I- shit! Fuck! Can't- Can-I can't breath! I need to - need to leave- can't-"

Terror. Sheer blind terror that ruled her chest as her heart beat in these booming shocks that resonated from her whole body. Her hands were shaking like a diabetic that was late for lunch. She turned again and found her eyes locked with his. She tried turning away but she couldn't. She couldn't move at all. She found herself mesmerized, falling inwards while still, by those burning orbs of orange on dark nights and red on bright moons. Slowly her body slowed and she felt herself drooping. Sleep became her only thought. Thoughts were muddled and her eyes closed before toppling into his arms.

Xxxxxx

Yeah, Seras really freaked the F out... Wouldn't you?

Xxxxxx

"Enter."

Agnes walked in and kept her emotions under control. Keep in check and dot all the I's and T's. Agnes came face to face with Integra Hellsing and refused her offer to sit in the chair. She, Agnes, was just simply too upset to hold with such formalities, and Integra was really not a person who would want an extended visit. With a little more heat than she had meant she dropped the folder on the desk. Integra simply perked an eyebrow and then pulled the file towards herself for a brief look.

"I finished the profile report you asked for but I still need more information on her condition to give you an idea of the girls health." She said stiffly. Agnes kept herself polite and formal despite her emotions. She was still a professional and intended to act so. Integra studied Agnes for a moment and leaned back with her hands laced.

"You have something to say to me?"

"Yes."

"Speak then."

After a moment of deciding how to proceed Agnes went for it. "I protest this."

"Protest what?"

"I may have standard medical abilities as a nurse but the function in which I am playing is immoral." With a look from Integra that simply said 'go on' Agnes felt mollified and sat herself in the chair in front of the desk she had been offered earlier. "I may be a psychiatrist and a nurse practitioner but I am also a person who has had difficulties in the past that are similar in a way. I do not want to develop a relationship with her simply because you ask me. I genuinely like Seras and I do not like this. This tactic is underhanded. I protest this."

"I see."

"No, I don't think you do. I've done work as a social worker with homeless teens. For them, trust is everything. They create small communities of their own and they are very difficult to garner trust with. Adults particularly are something they distrust greatly because they see them as part of the reason they left home. The fact that I managed to get this girl to tell me anything personal is a miracle. Now you want me to develop a personal relationship with her so that I might assess if she has any mental problems or is a threat. I protest this."

There was a stiff silence between them as Integra thought. "And is she?"

The ire in Agnes's voice sharpened considerably. "Mentally ill? Unlikely from my interactions but one session is not enough to determine. Violent on the other hand? No. She of course will defend herself from threats to her person as is the case with most youth living like she has, but I perceived very little outward or casual aggression. She is also what I would like to consider a statistical anomaly. She has never smoked, drank, done drugs or had any sort of sexual activity. This is rare in youth living on the streets. She is a nice girl, if a little fragile."

This caught Integra's attention. "Fragile? How so?"

"I know you picked me because I have a knack for getting others to open up but that is also going to have consequences. Consequences like me actually succeeding. I got to open her up some today and while I won't tell you everything, patient confidentiality, I will tell you pertinent things. Her condition of being not fully human is a delicate subject for her and she has a lot of sore wounds there, so to speak. She is following the classic female reaction."

The Hellsing heir just seemed confused so the doctor continued.

"In sociology, the study of many, men explode, resulting in shouting or physical aggression. Women however, implode. They blame themselves and it results in things like self harming or low self-esteem." At Integra's alarmed face Agnes quickly clarified. "Oh! No! No! I don't mean that she is cutting or anything of that sort! Thank heavens she is not! However she does seem to have very low self-esteem when it comes to her condition. It seems to have given herself a sort of complex. She has internalized her condition as her fault and as a result she criticizes herself frequently."

Agnes waited patiently as the younger women leaned back and took all this in. Agnes also waited for all the questions she knew Integra would have. The first one asked was expected considering what she, Agnes, had just told Integra.

"Is she a danger to herself?"

Agnes shook her head answering a negative. "No. Based on what I heard and assessed she is unlikely to attempt anything of that kind."

"Good. Is there anyway I can make her stay voluntarily?"

Again a negative response. "No. At least not what I can figure out. There may be another way that I could figure out, given time because, again, one session is not enough to know for certain. Children, or rather young adults, with Seras's background have a pattern of severe distrust with adults or power figures. It's normally the reason they leave home in the first place."

"I apologize mrs. Storn but I am going to have to insist that you continue to monitor Seras. Not only for the health of my soldiers but also now for Seras's health, if what you just told me could change."

After a tense moment Agnes knew she wasn't going to change the other persons mind. She stood up and excused herself before she said something completely unprofessional. She didn't like this. She wanted to know Seras personally because it was what she wanted to do, not because her employer ordered her to do it. The girl was rather sweet. Also the psychological blowback that was just waiting to happen if Seras ever found out could have some very detrimental affects.

She would just have to make sure that wouldn't happen. Oh dear...

Xxxxxx

Seras could have laid in bed all day and night or sprinted up the stairs at the news she was given. A soldier had come by per, Walters instruction, where she could then meet up with Mona. She had woken up an hour earlier and had been working since then to stifle her sobs that she knew he could hear, but she still wanted to pretend that he couldn't. So when the man had volunteered to escort her to Mona, she caved and allowed him to take her up two flights of stairs and down a set of hallways.

She felt so angry but the moment the door was opened and she saw Mona, she burst into tears and rushed forward. Familiar arms enveloped her and they tumbled to the bed as she cried. There was the click as the door shut and Mona soothed her hair comfortably. She tried to tell Mona everything that she had been told and stopped halfway through because she knew she was babbling. She'd have to repeat it all anyways. So she just cried.

Xxxxxx

Shuffling papers was beginning to become Integra's main job it seemed. She had most of the scheming old fools of the Round Table handled it seemed and certain things like knowing what _he said about their wife_ or _what inappropriate activities with that other mans daughter_, seemed to be good incentive to keep flapping mouths shut. Some still challenged her now and then but she could always remind the man in question that she knew all of his dirty laundry and suddenly he became a sainted schoolboy. It rather made work dull. Easy, but dull.

Which made recent issues like Seras, while a problem, better for a thinking engine like Integra. It solved a sort of ennui that seemed to be going on and off again over the years. There was a subtle shifting in her mind and she got that familiar feeling of being watched. She remained calm, otherwise it just encouraged his immature pranks. She was weary of them and didn't even look up at him.

"Alucard, you haven't managed to scare me in a long time with that so knock it off. It's not amusing anymore. I know you're there."

A chuckle and then she saw him moving over to the chair across from her desk. It irritated her that he didn't even wait for permission. He just sat as if he had every right. She supposed she was lucky he didn't try to put his feet up on the desk. She would have little luck getting him to take his feet off. She ignored him for the better part of five minutes as she finished writing notes about things that needed doing. Then when finished she turned her attention to him.

"Tell me about the girl." She cut him off when she saw the grin that meant he was going to intentionally misinterpret her orders. "I mean tell me what she is, what sort of things come with her condition. Don't play with me. I have little patience for it now."

He gave a low, breathy laugh. "You are familiar with the term 'damphyre' master. You already know what she is. However I suspect you are more wanting to know more details then a textbook definition."

"Yes." She waited patiently as he sat there... and sat there... and did nothing... Then she wanted to scream when she realized what he was doing! Fucking hell! She hadn't actually asked! Bastard! She forced herself to stay level. Alucard lived to rile others up and getting a rise out of someone to Alucard practically signaled open season; where he could watch others argue all day long about whether it was rabbit or duck season just to see who would blow up first. "Tell me more details about what she is and what I need to expect to happen over time."

To her satisfaction he almost seemed disappointed for a moment. "Very well. Humans and vampires have occasionally found each other... attractive... over the years. As a result, while rare, one of the two become pregnant. More frequently a female vampire than male. When the child is born they are completely human in every way visible but it isn't until they are eight years old that they begin to become sick."

Integra cut him off then, concerned by the discrepancy in his explanation. "Wait Alucard, her friend Mona recorded when the girl first got sick as eleven years old. If the exponential rate of symptoms I observed in the notes is anything to judge by they would have noticed far earlier than nine years of age."

There was an almost shrugging motion from him. "I am not quite certain why that is. The few that I have seen or heard of have always gotten sick at eight years old when puberty begins and never any later than that. This is... unprecedented."

Disarmed by the admission that there was something he did not know she fell silent. He continued his lecture.

"As I was saying, **almost** every single child began to become ill at the age of eight. Human antibodies essentially begin attacking themselves because it is attempting to fight the presence of the vampire cells also found there. Vampires and their blood are essentially parasitic in nature and will attempt to convert the human cells into fellow vampire cells. However neither are very strong and so they remain mostly dormant."

Integra listened and didn't even realize her jaw was starting to drop slightly as he described in depth what was to happen.

"As the child ages past six this stalemate between the two begins to fade as a sort of war begins and continues to escalate. Aggressively the vampire in her will attempt to complete the change but doesn't have what it needs to complete it very quickly. Her human cells will fight the change but will ultimately fade over time. The episodes of illness are when the vampiric parts of her are close to winning but are having difficulty changing because the human antibodies are fighting back. A vampires blood is designed to take human blood and turn it into their own, thusly taking a human and converting it into a vampire. Eventually the vampire half will win and the damphyre will be changed into full vampire."

As horrible as it was this made complete sense. Aside from the age eight thing everything fit. "I will have another vampire on my hand?"

There was an almost solemn look on his face at this question. "Possibly not my master. Sometimes damphyre illness has been known to kill them long before they can reach that point. A pregnancy making it to term is incredibly rare as it is, let alone conception occurring. When a damphyre is successfully the many symptoms in very serious cases such as bleeding, kidney failure, heart failure or even seizures make it very difficult for a halfling to live long enough to complete the change. Expect this to get far worse before it is over."

The less analytic parts of Integra felt stabs of pity for Seras as she began to comprehend the suffering that had already taken place and was expected to happen. The more disgusting bits of her was calculating the costs of caring for the girl and the strain on the budget that was to come. "Is there a cure?"

"Aside from completing the change?" He asked archly.

She nodded.

"Death." He said flatly.

"Just to be clear, she either has to die or change?" He confirmed this. "Can you speed it up?"

"My master, that was the plan from the beginning when I first saw her. However I will only do so with her permission. I refuse to change her against her will."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. That was his plan? What was he up to? How did he know so much about damphyres anyways? "Explain." She knew he was already reading her mind and knew what she was asking. After a moment, and with an air of great reluctance, she managed to get him to part with the information.

"I admit to having some... interest... myself in the idea of a damphyre and the benefits that come with. I attempted several times before learning that human woman are harder to conceive with." She gave him a look of great disgust but kept her mouth shut. "So a fledgling was created so that she might conceive with a man. I was surprised when she became pregnant on the first try. I had heard so many stories about how difficult conception would be. Unfortunately she miscarried after three months and the child was lost."

This time her disgust wasn't kept in check and she was rather scathing. "I suppose you had her try again?"

He seemed surprised that she would say such a thing. "Of course not my master. She had just lost a child. I instead created another fledgling who eventually conceived. The child made it to term and was born. I found myself intensely interested at first until I realized she was completely human in every way possible except for a few markers like smell. I lost interest for a few years until a few months after her eighth birthday when she began to fall ill. With the help of my blood she managed to survive long enough to become seventeen and she completed the change."

There was pensive, almost wistful look in his eyes for a moment.

"However there were unforeseen results, things not mentioned in the stories. She was stronger than most newborns and took to her abilities easier than any beginner I had ever seen. Yet there was something about her that I found myself drawn to. It was a rather irresistible quality that I had failed to discover time and time again. I had felt it even when she was only a halfling. We became involved with each other until I discovered that the thing that drew me to her was the thing that all maturing animals release."

He grinned. "Pheromones. Vampiric cells inside a damphyre try to cheat by releasing pheromones that will entice a mate to change them early. When I understood that the thrill of discovery faded and I no longer pursued an intimate relationship."

There was sort of a electric feeling than hit all the wrong places inside her body as she began to put the pieces together. It was the sensation of watching a car crash in reality as if in slow motion. The driver turns right without looking and you can see ahead of him the little car in a hurry about to connect bumpers.

"Alucard... tell me you are not planning to-" She trailed off in apprehension.

He looked in a rather knowing way, at her as if to say 'what else would I do?'. Her blood pressure shot to the roof and into space, waving goodbye to the earth. She stood up rather fast and felt herself begin to panic slightly.

"You can't!" She whispered.

"I can master. I will master. Even you could not stop me from doing this. You know that." He was so blasted calm this whole time and it made her even angrier considering what he intended to do.

"I won't have it! Not under this roof!" She felt her voice raise as anger started to rise.

"Then I will break my bonds and take my prize anyways." He stated flatly.

She froze and tried to master herself as the enormity of what he promised sank in. She sank back into her chair feeling quite defeated as he voiced the thing neither had ever acknowledged aloud. The journals were quite clear- Alucard was able to break his bonds at anytime he wished, but would not because of a deal struck with her ancestor. If broken, he would simply go. She couldn't imagine the likes of him loose and unrestrained by anything or anyone.

"I was promised a companion my master. Any companion of my choice and I have chosen this one. I have chosen and now it is your turn. Choose wisely because I can still have her even if you break the covenant. Once broken I am unrestrained by your word and there is no force on this Earth capable of stopping me."

Thick as molasses the tension strained tightly between them until she slipped back down into her chair, knowing she had lost this one. Yet she wasn't quite ready to give in.

"She won't go with you."

He smirked. "I will be the judge of that. I am quite persistent."

She tried to find a way around this and fumbled for her cigar case when she found none. Her hands shook as she tried to light it. After a few tries with that steady deadpan stare she finally got it lit.

"Fine. Have her, you bastard! But let me be perfectly clear: If I so much as get a hint you are being... forceful... with her in anyway then you go ahead and break the seal because you are going to need it if you want her."

The grin widened and ruined the mock hurt look on his face. "Oh my master, it wounds me that you think I would need to resort to rape to have the company of a woman. I assure you that when I get my way it's because she is entirely willing."

Her teeth bit into the cigar angrily. "OUT! NOW!"

He stood and walked through the walls. There was a bitter and discontented feeling in her as she considered the new development. She would just have to hope that Seras held out for a long time, long enough for him to loose interest. The poor girl would have no idea who she was getting into a relationship with and would be far from prepare.


	16. Illiterate Pigs

I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT NOW! YAYAAAAAAY! And so does my brother. He hasn't cleaned up his bedroom, its full of stuff from moving since two months ago. His bed is in my moms living room. been there a week. Lol. Later we are going to kidnap his beloved computer and hold it hostage until he meets our ransom demands. I'm feeling humorous and I'm wondering if I can take out the plug and send him a 'body part' in the mail. Also my dads out of the hospital. FINALLY! He's only been there since last thanksgiving. And he is in Salem now so its a quick 40 minute ride. Yay. I'm feeling good.

... Oh dammit. I DID spell dhampir wrong. S'not my fault though cause I got the spelling off the Internet. I'll change it eventually when I finish the story.

Xxxxxx

Mona apologized. Seras had forgiven her. Her friend had just wanted what was best anyways and Seras was mature enough to admit that. So when she was all cried out she told her friend exactly what Alucard had told her. Seras was grateful when Mona told her she didn't care if Seras became a zebra striped elephant with turtles for feet: she was still Seras. Well, she actually laughed first and then she felt grateful. It meant quite a bit to her that Mona hadn't blinked and instead perceived the thing that was really scaring her. It turns out Mona had told the others where she was and what was happening, with a few details left out.

"- and so they are worried but they know you have help. Poor Millie looked close to tears."

Seras wasn't quite sure what to say. Millie had always been sensitive as long as she had known the girl. So she said nothing.

Mona tried again. "Jed was so worried he actually yelled at me. That's not like him." Still nothing. "What's wrong? You're not normally this quiet."

Seras thought back a week to the elation and then the disappointment. "Remember my seizure and how I was out for a while?"

Mona frowned, not sure where this was going. "Of course I do! Everyone was freaking out about it."

Seras was twisting her fingers anxiously. "When I woke up everyone seemed to know about my illness. I was happy because I thought they knew about my... inhuman... thing." She still didn't feel comfortable admitting it aloud even to people who knew. "I thought they didn't care and that made me happy. Then I realized they only knew about me being ill."

"You felt disappointed." Mona guessed.

"Somewhat. I felt more cheated than disappointed. I'm a coward about this. I know that. I thought I wouldn't have to admit it to them because they already knew and didn't care. I felt cheated because I would actually have to tell them. Does that make sense or am I just talking crazy?"

"It's not crazy and you're not a coward."

"Yes I am. A coward is someone who's scared but won't stand up because they are scared. I'm a coward when it comes to telling them about me."

Mona knew she wasn't going to win this argument not just because Seras was being stubborn but also because a small, traitorous part of Mona agreed. So she said nothing.

Xxxxxx

Stan was having a much better time of things over the last few days. Using some reflective surfaces from some cameras and loosing a few points off his former 20/20 vision from staring at computer monitors all week, he had managed to pick up the trail on Horth and seventh. From there she had turned left into an alleyway where a few square miles of warehouse were thought to be. Slightly confused he sent some men down to check it out while he checked all the cameras that had been in operation around the area at the time. He couldn't find any evidence of her using the area as a shortcut which meant she was living in the area.

A call back in from the investigators showed signs of squatters in the area. There was a sweep going on to see if they could find the place the girl is currently dwelling. He had his fingers crossed that they found her alive and well. Not only for her sake but for theirs as well. From what he knew the father was rather wealthy and he was the majority donator for their task-force. If inclined to, the man could withdraw all support and financially crucify them.

Xxxxxx

There was something that was just plain eerie about the Hellsing estate to Seras. Maybe it was the name, the old paintings with sour faced ancestors that looked like the eyes moved, or it was the complete silence like a heavy blanket. The silence was a definite factor in the creepiness levels of the place because except for the occasional person walking by there wasn't a single noise anywhere. The barracks, mess hall, shooting range or other training rooms were a quarter mile away from the house and the soldiers who stood guard almost never spoke. She supposed she was just too used to the noisy affairs of warehouse life. She reached the door of the library and pulled it open.

"Ah, miss Seras. Nice to see you." Walters voice reach her ears and she walked in further finally spotting him in a circle of armchairs with a coffee table covered by twelve boxes that looked like they would rot if not handled with care. He motioned for her to sit in the armchair to his right. She did so and looked at him expectantly. Walter hadn't really told her why he was here or why he had asked her here. He reached into a box and grabbed a yellowed-with-age folder and handed it to her. Confused she opened it and stared for a few seconds at the first page and the picture of a young girl before closing the portfolio. She looked at him questioningly.

"Umm, Walter? What's all this?"

He held up another file. "These are the files and records from all orphanages in London for all female orphans who have escaped or gone missing from the orphanages for the last ten to eighteen years. We will go through and read all files and pictures till we find yours."

She shifted uneasily. "Read? Find mine?"

"How else will you find it?" His baritone made her jump in surprise and she turned around seeing him come in through the wall. Walter apparently had more experience with this as he hadn't even looked up or even started in fright. Alucard looked at her in amusement. Going to help Walter read all this Seras? He taunted and she grit her teeth at the barb. He knew about it and knew she wanted to keep it secret. Instead he seemed like he was going to hang her out to dry until she was forced to admit it.

Bastard.

While talking, Walter shuffled all boxes around until there was only one on the table. "Hello Alucard. And yes, miss Seras, we will find yours. When a new orphan is brought to an orphanage they create a file with a physical description, names, birth marks and photos or any pertinent information. This is standard practice for every child brought in. You told me from what you remember that you were in an orphanage for a few days which means that they would have had time to take down enough information that we can find your file. If we find your file then perhaps we can know more about you and find out more. From your appearance you are younger than twenty but older than fifteen so it is my hope that we will find you amongst this vast pile."

She watched as he fished out a stack of files that looked like half a single boxes contents he put it in front of himself on the coffee table and took the other half of files and placed on Seras's side of the coffee table. She shifted uneasily as she saw Alucard sit on one of the chairs to her right between her and Walter. He reached forward and glanced at one picture wrinkling his nose. He snorted and tossed the folder to the ground.

"Walter, I highly doubt that she was ever a black haired Korean girl named Cho Kyung."

Walter hurriedly rescued the abused file from the floor and put it back in the box. "Yes, well, they had it in chronological order, not by country of origin or ethnicity." He looked over at the stack Seras hadn't began on and frowned. "Is something the matter? Don't you want to help?"

She squirmed as Walter stared, hating the smirk on Alucard's smug face. No good. "Umm, Walter? I don't think I will be much help with this."

His brows creased with confusion. "Why not?"

She looked down at her toes wishing she could disappear. Worse still was that Walter wasn't giving her an out, he just kept staring patiently waiting. When no one said anything she knew she wasn't going to get away with saying nothing either and Walter had proved a pretty adept lie detector. Even if she had managed to fool Walter the amused look on Alucards face told her he might just rat out her lie to see how it played out. Judging from how his smile widened a bit she knew he had read her mind and agreed with the thought.

"I- I can't help."

"Why not?" The look on his face was rather stern. It only got sterner when she continued looking at her toes mumbling what sounded like 'ikan meaduh'. "Speak up for heavens sakes!"

"I... Um... I can't read." She said quietly. She studied the smudge on her flip flops, feeling stupid, wishing he would say something. Anything. Instead it was complete silence. She looked up a little and saw the surprise on his face. The embarrassment caused some heat to enter her voice. "Well don't act so shocked! It's not like they offer classes or school for the homeless! I have to have birth dates, social security numbers, a last name and an address for starters! None of which I have! Plus I would have to go to an orphanage since I am under eighteen."

He finally recovered from his off moment and took his eyeglass, cleaning the always immaculate lens. "My apologies Miss Seras. I didn't mean to embarrass you. I knew that you had never been to a formal school but I hadn't realized you had never been taught. Did none of your friends try to teach you?"

At least he wasn't laughing at her. "No. We never found the time to waste on me learning to read rather than me collecting money. It was impractical. I could either help feed us or learn how to spell 'apple'. I mean, eighty thousand pounds is a lot of money, we were trying to save up for a house and I already knew how to spell my own name."

The look he fixed her with could curl paint and flowers wither. "I assure you Miss Seras that learning to read is most certainly not impractical or a waste. Very well. A slight setback. I shall just have to teach you."

"Teach me?!" She looked at him as if he had two heads and he just chuckled.

"Of course. You act like you didn't see this coming after telling me you couldn't read." She hadn't. With that Walter told her he would come find her tomorrow for her lessons, opened a file and continued to look through them one after another. Seeing that he had dismissed her in his own way she looked over at the entertained grin of Alucard, before he too seemed to be going for some shock factor as he leaned down, grabbed a file and flipped through them clearly mimicking Walter and dismissing her as well. Feeling oddly subdued and understanding she wouldn't be helpful, she got up and left.

Xxxxxx

At about twelve an escort arrived to show her down to a private bathroom near the basement where she would meet Mona. Once there she and her friend quickly kicked the man out. It was rather obvious that it was some sort of bathroom for prisoners. It was basically a small concrete room with a shower curtain and two chairs. One of which she realized that Mona must have hauled with her from the warehouse. They had found it a few years back in the dumpster behind a massage parlor that was being shut down. It was perfectly good, it just had a broken leg that a LOT of duck tape fixed. She stripped out of her clothing quickly before she could loose nerve. Seras groaned though when she saw her friend hold out a wet rag to her.

"Oh come on Moo! You know I hate that stuff."

A stern look. "Well tough shit girl, because you've been developing an impressive resistance to sleep medications lately. Now smell it or I shove it in your face."

She made a face at this and then bent over and smelled the sickly sweet rag, making sure to breath in deep. Her nose burned and she coughed some, feeling her friend pulling her over where she sat down leaning her head back. Her head was buzzing and she closed her eyes.

Mona pulled the curtain just in case and slapped her friends cheek a few times to make sure she was truly asleep. Last time she hadn't checked and her friend freaked because she wasn't fully out. Satisfied that her friend was pretty much zonked out of her gourd she turned on the water and felt it until it was at least lukewarm. Mona frowned however when she realized that the chair was too far from the water and pushed it closer. She rolled up her sleeves and got to work.

However halfway through she realized there was a presence on the other side of the curtain. She hadn't heard the door open. Angrily she turned off the water and maneuvered through so as to keep her friends modesty. She pointed at the door and his grinning face incensed her even further.

"You get your undead ass OUT of here NOW!"

"No."

She grabbed the bat and brandished it menacingly. "Out! I don't care who you think you are or what you think you are doing in here. OUT NOW YOU ASSHOLE!"

He grinned wider at the challenge she had issued. He leaned forward. "Go ahead. It won't kill me. Besides, I'm not here for what you think I'm here for. I don't tend to spy on little girls having a bath. Not quite my style. I'm much more direct."

She dropped the bat and leaned all her weight into trying to push him to the door. Not only was he solid as stone but she couldn't move him at all. Even worse was that he stepped forward to show her that the efforts she was giving were useless. Seeing she wasn't going to physically budge him and she couldn't intimidate him she huffed and gave up.

"If you're not here to be the perve I'm certain you are then why ARE you here?" Crossing her arms at him she tried to show just how annoyed she was with his mere presence.

"I wish to speak about some things."

She raised her eyebrow and snarled at him. "She is phobic about water. She is asleep."

"I know."

"Are you stupid or just slow? I just told you she is asleep. I know it's hard for you to find two brain cells to rub together since your dick is doing all the thinking for you, but that means she can't speak with you right now."

He chuckled under his breath. "Actually you are the one I came to speak with."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "And this couldn't wait because...?"

He stood there and she knew she wasn't getting rid of him. She sighed and moved back behind the curtain.

"Fine! You can stay! BUT if I so much as sense you try to move from behind the curtain or get a peek, I'm coming over there and I will cut out your eyes."

She heard him laugh again and she muttered some uncomplimentary things about him, to which he only laughed more. She turned the water back on and got back to work. After a few minutes of feeling tense, knowing he was there she felt herself relax some... which was completely ruined when he opened his mouth. Frick! She was hoping for some quiet weirdness from him.

"How long have you known her?"

She paused and snorted before continuing. "Oh. I see. So you only wanted to speak to me because I'm some sort of Seras aficionado or something. Nice to know."

"While you are interesting in your own right as you do not seem to fear me at all, nothing could gain my attention as properly as a dhampir in the room."

Again she paused in thought and searched for the right way to phrase it. "Is that what they call... people... like her?"

"Yes. Though because of it most wouldn't say she is people."

She grit her teeth at that one. Then she remembered her suspicions from earlier and decided to confirm it. "I get the feeling that there is something you are not saying. Like you have plans for her..."

After a moment he made a noise of agreement. "I want her as my fledgling."

Her brows furrowed as she tried to work out what that meant. "You mean you want to turn her?" She was guessing really. She had read very few vampire or zombie books so some of the terminology escaped her. She also suspected that was not all but she would let it go for now.

"Yes."

Mona was rather surprised at how open he was being right then. Usually he seemed like the type that would hold the information out over your head so he can watch you jump and down for it. So this open and honest act meant something else to Mona and it was quite a familiar dance. "You want something." She stated.

"Obviously. I just told you."

She rolled her eyes, unsure if he was being obtuse on purpose or not. "No. I mean you want something from me."There was a silence. She thought it over for a minute and she realized what it was he was after. "You want my help convincing her to become your fledgling!" She accused.

He chuckled. "I don't deny it."

"Well forget it! Hell no!"

"Are you certain that's your answer?"

"Yes!"

"Even though Seras is going to turn anyways whether I make her my fledgling or not?"

Mona froze. She remembered everything from earlier that Seras said. It was going to happen. There was no choice or cure. Alucard capitalized on her thoughtful silence by speaking further before she could rally and say no.

"For most newly born vampires the experience can be incredibly disorienting and frightening. I, of course, was not one of those but I hear some being frightened of new abilities and overwhelming urges to kill. Having a master helps combat this."

She narrowed her eyes irritably. "Hey! Now that's just playing dirty. Now it's like I have to say 'yes'."

He laughed. "Really? Well I accept."

She huffed. "Prideful ass. Fine I'll listen to your reasons but you better damn well be honest. If you're telling the truth and I like your reasoning, I just might help. Might." She looked down and grimaced realizing that she had left the shampoo in too long. It was starting to dry. She turned the shower on and started rinsing.

"When a human is turned they become a fledgling to the vampire that turned them and that vampire becomes the master to the newborn. The fledging is bonded to his or her masters side until it is deemed they are allowed to be free. There are different relationships in every bond and some never break it, enjoying the closeness.

However there is only one ultimate goal as a master and it is to teach the fledgling to have control: over their newfound abilities as well as the self control not to go on a murdering rampage. Without a master to guide her, Seras will find herself in a difficult situation where there is no one to stop her before she looses control. There is also the feelings of fear, confusion, outbursts of anger and even sadness that a master is supposed to help her with. Without this help, I do not think you would like to know where that road leads."

Again she realized she had been rinsing too long and started on the condition. He didn't say anything, choosing to let her think it over. And she was thinking it over. It made sense. Having a master to teach her did sound like it would help. She shivered at this image. She couldn't reconcile the idea of a bloodthirsty Seras though. While sometimes brash her friend was too shy and sweet at times for Mona to believe she would ever kill. She would need someone who knows what's going on in her head, and could stop her before she went open-season on everyone.

It sounded like an excellent deal, but so do the ones car salesmen offer; They swear up and down you are getting premium for low prices before he sells you the lemon. She was still suspicious about his motives and was certain he had more in mind. At that moment she essentially was considering handing over her friends wellbeing to some stranger and she needed to know why she should.

"There is more you're not telling me. Until you do, the answers no. I suggest you tell me because I hold a lot of weight with my friend and I can sabotage everything that you do to convince her. Or, you could tell me and I might agree to help."

She did a quick scrub of the body and was rinsing out the conditioner by the time he answered. "I want Seras as a companion."

Confused she took a moment to work through that obtuse statement. "Like a friend?" She asked innocently but inside she wasn't liking where this was headed.

"No. Don't pretend you don't know what I mean."

After a moment she rolled her eyes in disgust. "Ugh! Men! No! Just no! Fuck no! In fact- Fuck no and no fuck! I am not helping you shack up with my best friend! There are just so many things wrong with this I am not even going to discuss it!"

Of course! Just when she had thought she had met the one that was different, it turns out he was the same. She jerked the faucet off with probably no more force than necessary. She grabbed the towel and used it to dry off Seras, her movements jerky with her irritation. Inside her mind she had about a thousand male voodoo dolls she was stabbing with pins. In between the legs. Ugh! Men could be such horny pigs sometimes!

"You believe you have a right to decide for her?" The tone was lofty and challenging.

"No I don't. If she decided that she felt something for you I wouldn't stop her. I don't know you very well and all things considered I don't care: I'd think its a mistake, but I would not stop her."

"My want to have companionship is not just for sex. She is... personable... and I admit to having pleasure in our conversations. I am never bored and she is never dull. I want her but only if she wants me. You think I would hurt her."

"No. I think you would warp her."

She grimaced. She wasn't quite certain to think of all this. On one hand he was a murderous vampire with no conscience but he was working for the 'good guys'. One one hand he was a vampire but someday so would Seras, regardless wether Alucard had something to do with that fact or not. On one hand she was certain he was some sort of sociopathic killer but he also was willing to take care of her friend on matters she was useless with. Somehow she couldn't look at him and think 'male' or 'romantic possibility'. It was clear he was a man yet she didn't look at him as a man, but as a person. Almost androgynous really, to the point where she forgot he was male and was just conversing with him.

She supposed if her friend became immortal it would be best if Seras was with someone who shared the same, infinite lifespan. She just wasn't certain about Alucard being that person for her friend though...

"Look, if Seras likes you and wants that sort of thing with you... Fine. I won't get in the way. I just won't help it along either. As for her being your fledgling, I will help with that because it sounds like that's what's best for her. Now I suggest you get out because she is going to wake up anytime now. This situation right here would definitely damage your chances you creep."

Xxxxxx

For some reason she was chasing a tomato. Which became a bowling ball. Then it grew into a giant rock, reversed direction, and started chasing her instead. She had the vague sense that this wasn't real and with a strange clarity that comes to people in dreams, she understood that this was exactly that: a dream. So she continued to run. Then the boulder shrunk and became smooth, no longer rumbling. It continued its pattern of shrinking until it became a ball that was rather small, only the size of a cantaloupe. It rolled past her feet and stopped.

However something about this dream changed. She felt herself shrinking. The grass under her feet lengthened slightly and was no longer dried out. She could see a large brick wall tower in front of her and there were garden boxes of roses all over. Then a woman's voice called her name.

"Seraaass! Honey! Come back here!"

She felt herself turn and a young woman with brown hair was walking over to her. It struck Seras odd as the woman came closer just how tall she was. Massive. Seras felt childlike in comparison. As she watched she also realized the face was blurred like a bad Polaroid. She couldn't quite make sense of the face.

She felt herself turn and run away, giggling. She saw a gazebo ahead and raced to the swing inside it. Just then a large pair of arms scooped her up and she felt herself in the arms of the woman on the swing. They stared at the lake in front of them, swaying on the swing. She felt the corner of her eye go up and found the face a little clearer, if still fuzzy. There was a familiar tune being hummed that made her sleepy.

The details faded slightly and suddenly the lake was gone. Then the gazebo. The dream trickled away from her as she began to wake up. Frustrated she struggled to remember it but all the details just slowly slipped away, until she couldn't remember she had been dreaming.

Xxxxxx

I gots a surprise for you all... THREE WHOLE CHAPTERS!


	17. Very, Very Small

Seras was in trouble and she knew it. She had known it for the last few days now but was somehow managing to hide it from almost everyone. Inside her body was a hourglass that counted every grain of time that passed before she got sick next. She was frightened of it and thus was hyper aware of it every other week. Six days ago when she looked in the mirror her skin should have been paler and flecks of gold in her iris. She should have felt more tired by now. More nauseas. She should have been mostly nocturnal. Should have been. None of that was happening. Two days ago she should have fallen ill. Should have been. She had been tense for a while now, expecting it to happen anytime now but it hadn't. It hadn't happened.

Her illness and any aspect of it had never been a good thing in her eyes. Even an unexplained lull that broke a consistent pattern was unwelcome because Seras was just cynical enough about her condition to know it was too good to be true. She had seen Agnes a few times in the last week and felt rather embarrassed when the woman bulls-eyed her fears on the first try. She had Mona's notebook. Despite being told that changes in an illness were a good thing it was still scaring her.

Now, as she leaned on the wall for support, she knew she had been right to fear. Her heart was seizing and she was gasping for air, wheezing with the effort. The pain in her chest got worse and she doubled over, clutching at her chest. Stabbing pains were starting to happen on the left side of her stomach. Needed... Agnes...

She swayed and fell over. Tired...

Xxxxxx

Mona had come the moment she heard what was happening. She moved it double time down to the infirmary. Pausing at the observation window she took in the image of her friend in a blue hospital gown, hooked up to machines, on a bed. She was struggling for air like an asthmatic and the horrendous song from the heart monitor spoke of just how fast her heart was moving. It also didn't escape her notice that her arms and legs were strapped.

"Miss, you need to leave." She turned and there was a nurse garbed up like there was going to be a surgery.

"But my friend..."

"I'm sorry but going to have to ask you to leave the room." When Mona hesitated the woman grew stern. "Now!"

Given little choice she left the preparation room. There was a small amount of panic as she wasn't quite certain what was going on. Doctors and nurses were running in and out and ignoring her questions the whole time. So when Walter showed up she found her anger grow that he wouldn't answer her questions either.

She paced a lot. Shouted a good deal too but he and everyone ignored her. Especially when one woman wearing a gown walked out with quite a bit of blood on it. She finally just sat down and waited.

Xxxxxx

After a solid hour of waiting, while also wanting to kick Walter in the unmentionables for his deaf and dumb act, something happened. There seemed to be a change of pace going on in the room just beyond the door. Nurses and doctors were not running in and out but rather walking at a sedate pace. There seemed to be less urgency which let Mona breathe a little easier knowing her friends condition had to be better if they weren't worried enough to run anymore.

Xxxxxx

Another half-hour found Mona still sitting in her chair but rather close to sleep. Bleary-eyed, she watched the door, blinking rapidly to try to keep awake. To her surprise several people were shuffling out of the room and removing their gowns, washing hands. She came awake realizing whatever happened was over. After a moment a man came over to speak with Walter and her.

"It was a close call but we managed to fix the problem for now."

"What was wrong? Is she going to be okay?" He avoided her gaze in favor of speaking to Walter.

"The truth is that we don't know. From the state of her body and charts she should have died years ago. It's beyond belief she survived this long." Mona stared in horror or confusion. She wasn't sure which to pick from. He looked at her with some pity.

"What do you mean?" Walter asked the question Mona was too upset to ask.

He flipped open the charts and began to rattle a list off that could make Gary Busey, post-motorcycle-accident, cringe.

"Acute chronic pancreatitis; arrhythmia that leads to hypoxia; scarred tissue on the heart showing signs of previous heart attacks; internal bleeding; frequent fevers that exceed 103* degrees for longer than two hours; partial necrotic failure of the left kidney. I mean, the list goes on and on. The kid has probably had every medical problem known to man except testicular cancer and the Benjamin button disease. I don't believe in god all that much but this is making me think about it. You said the girl has never been to the hospital for any of this?"

Mona nodded, mouth too dry to work.

He shook his head. "Unbelievable."

"How is her condition?" Walter asked. Again asking the questions Mona couldn't stomach to ask herself.

"We managed to get the swelling of the pancreas to go down so the good news is she isn't at risk for them bursting. Her white blood cell count is looking normal right now and her fever is down. But we had to do surgery to remove the dead tissue on her kidney. So even after this episode passes she will have to remain on bed rest. I don't want to jinx it but it looks like she's mostly out of the woods."

It took a moment for Mona to process that information and then it occurred to her what hadn't before. She wanted to kick herself. Surgery! Of course! She had been so thick that she hadn't realized that was what was going on. It also made her feel slightly ill to realize how bad her friends condition was. She hadn't known. She thought things were bad, but not this bad. Kidney failure? Pancreatitis? Hypoxia or whatever that was?

"Can I see her?" She winced as her voice cracked with emotion.

Recognizing the signs of a distressed female, as all males who have managed to keep a girlfriend longer than two months do, he kept his answers short.

"Yes. I don't see why not."

Mona got up quick, walked even faster to the door and closed it behind her. She sat down and felt very small as she watched her friend. There was an oxygen mask and a machine that went with it. An IV stand with several little bags of funny colored liquids dripping into the line that went down into the tube that stuck out of Seras's arm. From where she sat she could see a scar that went from the belly button to the clavicle, like someone had performed an autopsy. She pulled up the blanket, unable to look at it any longer. She felt sick. Useless and impotent... and very, very small.

Xxxxxx

When Seras woke up, it was a very numb body and funny feeling inside her. She felt pretty light and happy. She watched the ceiling and admired the dancing otters. She had never seen otters dance before.

Xxxxxx

Mona would have been cursing her sore neck from falling asleep in a chair were it not for the giggling. She looked at the now very much awake Seras who was watching the ceiling with great interest and giggling. What the- Looking up Mona confirmed that there was nothing there. So what was Seras laughing about? After looking at the charts she found that a couple units of morphine and something she had never heard of- Oxaprozin something or the other was all that had been given.

A short search that was extended by the occasional glance to her laughing friend resulted in Mona reading a bottle in growing disbelief. 'Oxaprozin is an anti inflammatory meant to reduce chances of pain, infection and inflammation. Symptoms can include disorientation, sleepiness and in some rare cases may mimic certain symptoms of being high, including but not limited to hallucinations or euphoria'. She glanced at Seras who was now pointing at the ceiling, laughing about crab-walking penguins.

There was a tightening of Mona's jaw and she felt herself suck tightly at her lungs as she resisted. No... This was supposed to be serious. She was NOT going to laugh at her friend who was very high. Seras was high... Some of that breathy-gasping noise people make when they try not to laugh, was trying to force its way out until she gave it up as a bad job. Oh god! Her friend is high as a kite! She laughed and felt immeasurably better.

She instantly regretted then that she and Seras had never sprung for the camera phone. This was worth way more than a thousand words. She walked over and tried to get Seras's attention. Giggling she looked away from the ceiling. Her voice slurred in some spots and got suddenly loud in others.

"Hiiiiiiii Moooonaa! Ss-nicce to seeee yyouuu! L-Look at the penguinssss! They are CRAB daaancing!"

Again that sucking feeling in her lungs happened as she valiantly resisted laughing. Her voice even squeaked with the effort of talking. "Oh-" she coughed. "Oh really?"

"Yeaaaah! Theeerrreee's a BREAK dancing battleeee with the oootttters! They'reee trying to prove whooo has the better beeenndy straws!"

Mona broke down at that point. She couldn't help but laugh. Seras, who was more sauced than David Hasselhoff, joined in giggling wildly. This was better than the time Millie had accidentally drank spiked punch and didn't know it.

Xxxxxx

I had soooooo much fun writing this scene.

Xxxxxx

"Ta... Theh... The ba-ll... rowl... roll-deh... rolled."

There was a pit of hot, broiling shame inside her gut. She felt so stupid. Walter sat on her left with a notecard that had a hole. He used it to show small sections of a single word that she was to sound out. She felt like crying as she struggled to read a children's book. He had put tape over the pictures to prevent her from using them rather than the words. He wasn't laughing though and was a very patient teacher. On occasion he would stop her and slowly enunciate the word with her. A small saving grace Seras felt was that the two of them were alone in the infirmary. Walter turned the page.

"The keet... kite fh... fleh... flew."

Angry and ashamed she took the book and made it fly at the wall. She blinked as Alucard picked it up and placed it back on the table. He sat on her right and took the notecard from Walter. She felt immeasurably better when she realized Alucard wasn't laughing at her either. Using the card he helped her sound out the words.

"The bier-d suh... sanguh... sang."

"The bird sang." He said, slowly and clearly.

She smiled as she tried again and got it right. Was she crazy or was there a soothing effect Alucard had on her? He turned the page and praised her when she managed to get it completely right on the second try with no help. Walter watched for a while and slowly slipped out smiling, unnoticed.

Xxxxxx

To Seras's complete and total horror, the doctor announced that she wasn't to leave the bed for another nine days. Bored and with nothing else to do, she found herself secretly happy to see Alucard coming to see her regularly. With his help she managed to master reading basic sentences and most words found in children's books in three days. Of course, her efforts were delayed because the moment he so much as sensed her feel tired or about to yawn, he moved the books far away from her reach and left. The ass knew she wasn't able to get out of bed. So she actually had to sleep when she would rather explore her new ability to demystify letters.

After a six days in bed she was ready to try to escape. Seras had already read through all her books three times and was unsatisfied. She wanted to eat wallpaper and tear out her hair. She couldn't take it anymore. Alucard laughed as he carried her back to the bed while she cursed at him. Bastard had caught her before she had made it to the door. She was only slightly mollified when he brought her another set of books that were slightly harder. He wasn't getting away with ruining her escape attempt that easily.

She had begun to amass quite the collection: There was a book called 'Holes' by some Louis Sat-cher guy from Mona; A collection of Grimm fairy tales by these two long dead German brothers from Walter; A book on vampires from Integra that looked old and handwritten; and a 'zombie survival guide' from Alucard. He was so totally messing with her on that one. She had struggled through 'Holes' but found it to be a nice story. Surprisingly the Grimm fairy tales weren't too kid-ish and were fun. The one about the princess with the donkey skin was pretty cool.

Even the zombie survival guide Alucard had jokingly brought to her was interesting. He later remarked that there were no such things as zombies. People had seen slow moving ghouls and mistook them for zombies brought back by voodoo priests. She hesitated to read the factual guide on vampires though, not all that comfortable yet with the idea of being one. It was also somewhat intimidating in size for a new reader. A large leather, twelve by eight by five bruiser that could be considered a self defense weapon.

Alucard had explained about dhampirs and she supposed knowing the truth was better that being in the unknown. In the end she did read it. It was a more difficult book than the others and she stumbled often. There were bigger and more unfamiliar words that she struggled to sound out because this book wasn't for children and more like a encyclopedia on vampires. The handwriting was a little hard to read at first but that too got easier. There were pictures too. Rough and abstract like a Van Gogh pencil drawing they explains in detail about vampires.

Some pictures and pages frightened her. Some information made her feel better. Older vampires were able to go out into the sun without risking death. She would still get to enjoy flowers in the day. Or how after a few years vampires were able to control thirst and themselves around others. There were things that also fascinated her as well as horrify. Vampires had something called 'the third eye' that wasn't fully understood but it granted very strong sight. This was a very emotional subject for her, so the clinical and detached delivery the book had made it easier to read without smudging the pages from tears. She read the whole thing in one sitting.

Then again...

And once more...

This is what she was going to become. She needed something that make the idea bearable.

Xxxxxx

So I haven't done an authors note in a while... Why not now? I've reached the halfway point in the story and I have three other chapters finished! Yay! The problem is that I need to finish the chapters before the unfinished chapters. So patience my pretties! Things are starting to get to a climax. Don't hesitate to ask questions if you are unclear about something. Jus So you don't think I'd just force you all to go on a wiki hunt to understand medicbabble I have a little dictionary here:

*Hypoxia: a lack of oxygen in the blood that means the brain isn't getting enough air.

*Arrhythmia: an irregular heartbeat which can be fatal.

*Pancreatitus: a swelling of the pancreas that lead to nausea, burning pain and vomiting.

*Kidney failure: where the kidneys no longer function and can lead to Arrhythmia, muscular paralysis etc...

*Necrosis: this means that either a piece of flesh or organ is dead tissue that can slowly spread and kill other tissue.

*Any fever that exceeds 103 for longer that two hours is life threatening and can lead to seizures.

*Oxyprozin: a sciencey sounding medicine name that I picked so I could make something up.

I also found this quote I think is hilarious and decided to share:

A British newspaper asked for readers to answer the question "What it means to be British." One response was:

"Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV; and the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign."


	18. Truth Far Stranger Than Fiction

Having been called up to Integral's office was unusual but not good. The woman was like some sort of class eight tornado workaholic. Phantom of the operatic study or something. She only saw the woman when... well, pretty much never. Seras talked with Walter, Alucard and Agnes and they were the only people who seemed to see the woman. If Seras had never seen Integral before she would be inclined to believe the woman had never existed. It would at least be an entertaining story for times when she got bored.

So while rare, it was still not good. She opened the door and walked in to the scene of Integra, predictably, hunched over a desk, writing away. The pen lifted for a moment and made a jabbing motion at a chair and went back to work. Confused she complied and sat. It was bordering on eight minutes of squirming impatience before the woman put down her pen and leaned back, fingers laced. The stare she leveled at Seras made the uncomfortableness of the situation worsen. It was a stare that said 'I am displeased but not sure how to take it out on you and you aren't worthy of the effort a glare takes'.

"You've caused a problem Seras."

Thankful to fill the silence but dismayed something was her fault, she replied. "How so ma'am?" This time she got a glare and corrected herself. "Uh... Sir? How so?"

Mollified, the glare was gone. She lifted a piece of paper that looked expensive and official. "You are a ward of the court and therefore any group in service of the queen is allowed to claim you as theirs. The papers we sent that would claim you as Hellsings has been rather conveniently 'lost' just in time for a request from another group to send in theirs."

"I... see?"

"While their request has not yet been approved, it is within their right to house you where they see fit. He is due any minute now to meet with me. Listen to me now. You are happy where you are and perfectly content here. Understand?"

"You want me to lie?"

The gaze narrowed hawkishly, like a predator ready to go for the kill. "I will repeat myself. You are very happy here, and do not need care elsewhere. Do you understand?"

She sighed. "Yes ma'am. I mean, sir." Having proper manners around this woman was getting difficult. She really didn't understand why anyone would want to claim her anyways. She seemed to have every medical problem on the planet and had once overheard a doctor call her a money pit. From the sound of things money, was practically being IV-ed into her.

Whoever it was, it was definitely not who she expected. She fairly gaped at who strode through the door, looking ten thousand pounds richer than you would ever guess from his normal wear. He had a jacket, a hat and was even using a very expensive looking cane to help him walk. Now that was just over the top.

He took off his hat, his coat and came up to Integra to introduce himself. "Maddison Firth, Sir Integral. I am pleased to meet a leader of your reputation."

She fairly gaped at him as even his voice sounded fussy and cultured like he had been raised by the royal family. Charming and flattering too. Maddis, or Maddox as he preferred, was here. Maddis, the pawnbroker, who bought stolen goods, was here. Maddox who normally dressed like he just had stolen clothing of a bums back five minutes before... was here... It was just by the grace of god that Integra hadn't noticed the gob smacked look on Seras's face. The man turned his head just enough that he winked at her and she cleared her expression. She had no idea what the fuck was going on but she knew how to play along.

Integra wasn't having with the compliments. "Save it with the flattery. I wish to know what you are doing here."

It was just shy of rude if you could prove it. He frowned. "Now I was hoping we could be friendly but if you're going to be like that we won't be getting along very well will we?" She fairly glowered with her eyes. He sighed. "Very well, I can see you're eager to hear my reasons."

"Yes." She said flatly.

"Well I was having tea a few days ago and imagine my surprise when I get a missive that reports the council had a meeting about this girl here. I heard she comes with medical expenses that frankly, your already strained budget cannot handle. We have already poured quite a bit of resources into your organization Integral. So, I, as a person who has a private hospital will take the girl off your hands and out of your hair. It's no trouble to me."

"She is jurisdiction of the Hellsing estate. You know this." He looked sympathetically at the woman. Seras could tell internally that the Hellsing wanted to scratch out his eyes. "She is my ward." She insisted.

"No. She is a ward of the court currently. There is no official guardian for her. Until then she is the ward of any of the council members. By the way, exactly where is your documentation of claim?"

Gritted teeth and a tightened fist. Never a good sign on any persons body. "It was lost."

"Lost?" He echoed, like he didn't believe there had been any paperwork at all. "I see... Well... In that case you will find my request has been sent in and is being reviewed now. I am free to take her with me. Here's my copy." He passed it over. She looked it over and seemed to want to tear it up.

'Maddison Firth' got up and began to put his coat and hat back on. "I will be going now. Come on, girl. Sarah wasn't it?"

Seras hesitated. One one hand Integra looked like she was going to jump across the table and throttle Seras if she began to get up. On the other she wanted to go with Maddox and find out what the hell was going on. She quickly stood up and looked away from Integra. Death eye beams couldn't hurt you if you didn't look. "No. It's Seras."

"Then come with me. Here, have a sweetie. They're good for you." He handed her a chocolate and she reluctantly ate it, playing along.

But Integra wasn't ready to give up. "Stop. We are not finished yet."

He looked at her with interest. "Oh? Did you suddenly locate your documentation of claim?" She stared at him blankly, gritting her teeth. In that pitying tone Maddis continued. "No? You haven't? Then, yes, Integral Hellsing, I believe we are finished."

Unable to believe his audacity Seras walked with him out the door and felt an arm go behind her back to speed up her gait. Suddenly his normal voice was back and he was whispering frantically without turning his head to her.

"Hurry up girlie. It's only a matter of time before she realizes that's a false seal. Managed to get everything perfect but that. That woman ain't stupid. Now play along and don't panic till after we get the car out of the gate."

They were down the stairs and crossing the foyer when they heard the woman yelling. Seras winced in panic when she heard Alucard's name being called. Oh crap. Maddox gave her ribs a sharp jab with the cane. "I said no panicking."

She ignored his warning and panicked anyway when Alucard melted up through the floor in front of them, grinning. He didn't move when Maddox raised the cane up and used the decorative crow head to hit the vampire in the face. Alucard was clearly certain nothing could hurt him. That proved to be a mistake on Alucard's part when he suddenly collapsed to the ground. Seras stared at his prone form, then to the cane before back to gaping at the Alucard rug on the floor.

"What the hell did you do to him?!"

He pulled her along to the front door in a hurry. "Never mind that. He is just stunned for now but he is powerful and it won't last long. We need to be gone by the time the idiot comes to his senses." She stared at the Rolls Royce he pulled her to. Where the hell was Maddox getting this expensive stuff? Didn't he drive an old junker Subaru from the 90's?

They ran into a problem though when Maddox began patting his pockets in the front seat, trying to find his keys. Someone knocked on the window. They tensed and looked. It was Walter and he was holding a pair of car keys. Maddox glared. "Excuse me sir, but I believe you dropped your keys."

"Dropped my arse! Damn man picked my pocket!"

"Excuse me but I would like you and miss Seras to please step out of the car."

"Ah well. I tried pumpkin." He seemed resigned.

She looked startled. "You haven't called me that in years."

He snorted. "Only 'cause you'd look really embarrassed and told me you was too old to be called pumpkin. Said you weren't a baby anymore. Come on, lets face the music."

They stepped out and Walter apparently had been well informed ahead of time. He held out his hand and confiscated the cane. Then with Seras leading the way she walked back through the still open front doors. Alucard was standing and he did not look happy to have been humiliated like that. He was grinning but Seras knew better. He was furious. She felt scared for Maddox.

He followed behind Seras, practically breathing down her neck while Walter took the lead. Mona, having heard the commotion followed along. Walter led them all back to Integra's office. Seras sank into the chair with her heart descending through her feet. Walter quickly gathered a few extra chairs. Maddox took his coat off and folded it over the chair, apparently resigned to a lengthy discussion. He sat and seemed content to wait for the questions to begin. Integra broke in first.

"Who are you, really?"

He seemed surprised she would ask. "As I said, Maddison Firth."

Displeased by this she put down the cigar, depositing it into the ashtray. "I want the truth."

He sighed. "I am telling you the truth. Maddison Firth was my name before I went missing. Now I am Maddis or Maddox Tyler these days."

"Missing?" Walter broken to ask.

Maddox looked at Seras in embarrassment, a bit of an accent leaking through. "Ah pumpkin, tis wa s'not how I antended to tell yeh. Cert-ain things need to have been said delicately."

She couldn't wait anymore. "Uh-uh. No. You can't unblow that whistle. So tell me."

He sighed and scrubbed at his face. "I suppose telling it from my much younger days wouldn't be that bad. I was born in Ireland and when I was fourteen, moved to Wales after the death of my parents. I got a job, lived at my uncles house for a few years and had a few girlfriends. When I was nineteen though, I met the most beautiful woman. Eyes like starlight..."

He flushed for a moment when he realized he had been daydreaming. He hurried to smooth it over.

"Like any typical beginning of a story we fell in love. A few days before my twenty second birthday my mind was made up. I had a ring and aimed to propose to her. She would be my happy ending... I was down on one knee and everything when she disappeared. I blinked and she was gone, screaming for help. Some... thing had grabbed her and I could just barely see it running with her. I chased after them and of course couldn't keep up. It got away with her.

The police wouldn't help. They thought I was some schizophrenic or druggie, seeing things that weren't there. They took my statement down and laughed behind their hands like I couldn't see. I couldn't rely on them. But I knew what I had seen. I quit my job and devoted my time to finding her. I researched the occult trying to make sense of what it was I had seen too. After three months I succeeded in both. She was at this old manor out in the country and I knew what I was dealing with. I despaired that I would find her alive."

It clicked with Seras and she couldn't believe what was looking her in the face. "My mother..."

"Yes. Your mother. A beautiful woman that was tough as nails, that one."

A terrible welling of desire, of desperation filled Seras. "Who was she?! What happened?!"

He looked very sad. "Thats getting ahead of the story. I promise I will tell you everything pumpkin. Anyways I feared I would never see her again, but I was wrong. She was alive. I saw her in the gardens when I climbed the walls in an effort to scout the place out. I also refused to leave her alone in that place. So I went in prepared to meet the devil himself and was somewhat surprised with what I met. I suppose I should have expected it, what with all the unreliable stories about vampires online, but he appeared human in every way except for the eyes. Maybe the teeth if he opened his mouth wider but human looking enough to pass inspection. They were raring to save me for a snack but I managed to convince them to keep me as a butler to their precious Isabella."

He looked so bitter when he said that it confused Seras. "My mothers name is Isabella?"

He shook his head. "No. Her name was Safiya but that wasn't European enough for those bastards so they renamed her." Surprised at this she looked rather confused. He chuckled. "Your mother was an immigrant from the Yemen."

Geography had never been a strong suit of hers, having never studied it. So she felt justified about being confused.

"Saudi Arabia." He clarified. "Brown as a nut that woman was but very beautiful. You used to be too, but sunlight here in England is weaker and less frequent. Born with blond hair, by the time you turned two you were as pale as any Englander. Couldn't tell the difference. Tan easily don't you girl?"

"Yes."

"Thought so." His smile faded though. "I managed to convince them that I wanted to be turned into one of them and that I would do anything in exchange. They assigned me to be a butler to your mother. She was happy to see me but also she was in a bad way. She was one month pregnant. It was everything she could do to convince me not to get myself killed trying to avenge her."

Seras felt rather cold. "My father... he-?" She felt almost ill.

Both of Maddox's leathery old hands gently cupped her face. "I'd have rather kept that from you girl but you're too smart. Yes he did, but that's not important. What's important is that your mother loved you. She loved you. She didn't care what way you came to be because you were hers. When she and I were alone we pretended that it was our house and you were my child. She loved you and so did I. Understand?"

Crying and throat too thick to speak at the moment she just nodded quickly.

"Good. Your mother was scared about what you would be when you were born. She had overheard the sorts of health problems you would have when you were older. While she was still pregnant we were desperately looking for a cure until we found it in the library."

This had her attention latched to Maddox as his face was the barrel of a gun. "You found a cure?"

He grimaced. "It was not so much a cure as a prevention. If we managed to get you to your twentieth birthday without your vampire half acting up, it would become dormant. You would be more or less completely human. We found the way to do that was-" Maddox looked very uncomfortable.

Integra looked very interested. "I confess I am most curious about this. From what I heard from Alucard, there is no cure."

"Ah... Um..."

Everyone watched his discomfort until he finally divulged the information. "We found that the only way to suppress a dhampirs vampiric half was to feed the blood of the human parent to the child."

Everyone present looked revolted, Seras especially. "Blood?"

"It was necessary." He said, if a touch defensively. "A little everyday and you were safe. We had to be careful that your father didn't find out though. So until you were two years old you had 'Seras's special cranberry juice'."

She covered her face. "Ih hink am goint tobeh thick."

"May I ask what you did when she no longer drank juice regularly?" Walter again, always getting the facts.

He reached into the jacket pocket and pulled out a sandwich bag of chocolate. Looking at them in revulsion she realized what had to be in them. Mona looked pretty ill, sharing Seras's assessment.

"You had one a day pumpkin. You were old enough to talk and so they became 'Seras's secret chocolates'."

A memory that was rather hazy came to the front of her mind. It was rather blurry but she managed it. "'These are Seras's secret chocolates. You can't tell daddy or he will be very unhappy.'" She whispered.

Maddox nodded. "Yes. You asked 'why' and we told you: 'daddy can't have chocolate. If he found out Seras was having special chocolate, he would be unhappy. So it's our secret. No telling anyone.' You were pretty young then so you would forget now and then that it was a secret but we were able to keep you quiet about it."

He sighed. "Things weren't perfect but we were happy enough. Your father-"

"Please don't call that man that. What he did... He has no right to be my father." She was very quiet. It bothered her. Maddox was right that her mother loving her made a difference but it still bothered her. Maddox apparently understood.

"Very well. Mortimer Holmstead had an infatuation that faded once he had gotten it out of his system. He had apparently realized the thrill of a human 'wife' was over and was more interested in her as a mother. That was where we miscalculated. We kept it secret but the love we had for each other won out in the end. We couldn't resist the physical side of love that happened between men and women."

Seras looked as red as Maddox at that point but Walter had the grace to cough rather than laugh.

"As careful as we were, Mort's right hand man, Zhivago, became suspicious a few months after your third birthday. We knew it was only a matter of time before he would eventually speak his suspicions about us to Mort. We knew we couldn't stay and so we began to get ready to go. We had already planned our escape a few years earlier. We had noticed a hole in the security when the guards changed shifts.

I was to come get her so she could be in position in the garden before the shift change happened. A garden ladder would be left by the wall where she could climb over and take you to a meeting spot in the woods. I would create a reasonable excuse why she would be absent for dinner and join her immediately. From there we would travel to a road where a friend had left a car."

"But I don't remember being raised by you or my mother..."

"Sadly the plan went wrong. Practically everything did. I was held up by Zhivago who wanted to know why your mother wouldn't be attending dinner. He was taunting me by letting me know he knew about us. By the time I got to the meeting place she was gone. She had stuck to the plan. Your mother followed the instruction that if I was late she was to go to the car without me.

But she couldn't find it. She ended up running with you on foot through the woods. She thought cutting through would get her to a town faster rather than following the road where she could be spotted. I tried to find her but I was too late. Somehow they had caught on to what we had been planning. You were missing, Mort was standing in front of the river and your mother..."

Seras almost couldn't breath with anxiety. "She was no longer breathing." Maddox was just subdued.

"I failed that day. I regretted it quite a bit. I saw Zhivago return and heard that you had fallen into the river. You were still alive but downriver somewhere. When they left I took your mother with me to the car and drove to the cemetery. My Safiya deserved better than what I was able to give her. I had to leave her there to go look for you. You were still alive and more... more important than my loss."

He was quiet at this part when for the first time since Maddox sat down, Seras remembered Mona existed. "Well? Did you find her? I mean, before we started coming to you with items to sell?"

"Yes, but it took me a year and a half. I caught a lucky break and found that you had been taken into protective custody. You were at an orphanage. I couldn't let you be adopted. I wanted my Safiya's daughter and I also wasn't convinced I had fed you enough 'special chocolate' to let you be adopted by a family. I dressed up as a deliveryman and planned to find you but-"

"Oh my god!" She gasped. "That was you?!"

He grimaced. "You had a strong kick for a five year old. Make my shin feel like glass after a thrown rock. By the time I managed to get down the front steps you had disappeared. I tried everything but I couldn't find you."

Seras's mind was running overtime and her payment was a headache that promised hell. This was all becoming too much too fast. So many questions were running through her head that made her need three extra mouths and six spare ears. The beeper on her wristwatch heart monitor was showing the signs of her stress. Mona was out of her chair and pulling Seras out of the office by the wrists before anyone could react.

Xxxxxx

Seras has always been proven right again and again about one thing: she could always count on Mona because somehow Mona always just knew. She always seemed to know just what her Seras needed.

Despite orders to come to the infirmary if her beeper went off, Mona instead pulled her downstairs and out the back doors to what amounted to a densely wooded area. Once there she let go of her handful of Seras and instead picked up the largest rock she could find. Wordlessly Mona handed it over. The turmoil in Seras had her hefting that rock at the farthest tree. It missed. Even more emotional than before she became angry and picked up two more.

It went like this for a while as she did her best to leave marks in the trees. She threw until her shoulders were sore, hand numb and breathing heavy. Then Seras acknowledged she couldn't avoid the problem any further. She hated being some cliche damsel in distress but she was crying again. Mona understood. Mona always understood. She couldn't understand how her friend was willing to put up with how messed up she was.

She laughed with little amusement. "I'm a mess huh?"

Mona laughed back. "Nah. We are a mess. We both have fucked up dads with drinking problems."

This time the blonde laughed for real as she comprehended the double meaning. It was pretty soothing and she felt her emotions were a little calmer now. Her beeper had stopped for the time being at least. A good sign. She wiped at her eyes and sniffled.

"Want to stay out longer or head back in?" Mano asked.

Considering her options she began trudging back to the door. What she had really needed was some breathing and a workout. All that information had quickly become too much far too fast. It had been dumped on her head with no warning. She couldn't blame Maddox though. From the sound of things he had wanted to tell her slowly and gently but had gotten this short stick instead. Familiar enough with the lay out of the house she easily found her way up the stairs and to the right office. Maddox looked rather apologetic and worried. This situation wasn't going well for him either.

Xxxxxx

"You sure your okay?"

Seras rolled her eyes at Maddox's mother-henning. If she had not been so tense right then with anticipation then she would have found his panic induced concern heartwarming and pathetically sweet.

"Please just keep talking."

It took him another minute to get his stride back. "I couldn't find you after that. You got away clean. I opened the shop to make some money while I used my free time to look for you. Even after several years of looking I couldn't seem to. Imagine my surprise when one day you just walk in to my shop and try to sell me stolen goods. I couldn't turn you away. I gave you money and you came back a few more times. I tried to convince you to live with me but you wouldn't have it."

Seras paused. She remembered him asking every now and then if she would like to live with him. At the time she had thought he was some pervy old man though. "Wait a sec. Every time I came to visit you you'd give me chocolate and say they were good for me. That wasn't..."

He nodded. "It was. I had to be sure Seras. We had been giving you a little everyday since you were born but that stopped when you were three and a half. Had we given you enough to save you? Had we just delayed the inevitable? Would you be okay if I started giving them to you again?"

"No. I'm not. I get sick."

He looked saddened. "I failed there too then."

Integra spoke then, interested. "Well, this explains the delay. Dhampirs start becoming ill at eight years of age. You delayed until she was three and she started becoming ill at eleven."

Maddox just looked miserable at that but Seras had other things in mind though.

"Maddis... what's my name? My full name?"

That wasn't the only thing she wanted to know though. This man knew things about her she had only guessed. How old am I? When's my birthday? What does my mother look like? So many questions...

Maddis cleared his throat, looking a little nervous. "It depends... You don't want anything to do with your father... Safiya and I thought each other married..."

After a moment she caught on. "Your asking if I would take my mothers or your last name?" There was a quiet moment where she saw some fear with sadness in him. He had considered her his child and she was now wondering if she could accept him in that way. That had to hurt.

His voice was gruff with emotion. "Your mothers surname was Victoria and mine was Firth. I would not be upset if you chose hers. She was your mother and I always thought Safiya Victoria sounded beautiful. Seras Victoria would be equally beautiful."

Seras didn't need to think it over much. Maddis was far too droopy eyed hound dog for her to need to. "Then I am Seras Firth Victoria." She grinned because his face had drooped for a moment and then widened when he registered what she had said.

He smiled slightly. "Not exactly. You are Seras Evy Firth Victoria. Quite the mouthful."

The warm atmosphere they had going was chopped through when Integra cleared her throat pointedly. Seras felt so much loyalty to Mona when the girl glared with her at the woman's uncaring attitude.

"Not that this isn't touching but I believe we have become somewhat sidetracked. I'm more interested in why you came here today and attempted to leave with Seras." Maddis regained some of his old snappish behavior and raised an eyebrow at the woman as if to ask 'are you daft?'. "Answer."

He snorted. "Ma'am- Oh don't look at me like that! You are a woman and I will respect you as one. That might work on others but it won't cow me. Now... ma'am you run an organization that sends out men to kill vampires and other undesirable supernatural entities. Must you really need to ask to know the answer? Nearly felt my soul leave my body when I heard where you were Seras."

Mona spoke up. "Wait, how did you know where she was Maddy?"

He scowled. "Ivah told yeh not teh call me that girl! Makes meh sownd likeh a woman." Mona just grinned. "Millie told me. Poor girl came into my shop in tears and talking about how much she missed Seras. I sat her down and got her to calm down enough to speak in clearer terms than blubbering tears. Said you had been taken to a doctors place Mona had found. Well I was concerned already at that because I made it a point to know where you were Seras so I could keep you safe. I felt my hair turn three shades whiter when she said Hellsing. Would have gotten away with it if i could perfect the seal and if it weren't for sticky fingers there."

"I have no idea what you are talking about sir. You merely dropped your keys and I as a man of honor endeavored to return them to you." Walters poker face was seamless but everyone got the impression he was smiling inside. Seras felt her admiration, as a thief, for Walter grow. Alucard chuckled.

Xxxxxx

Seras was starting to get the sense of déjà vu. Aside from Maddox growling at Walter things started to feel like they were speeding up. Snowballing like the first night she came to this office. Maddis talked for about five minutes more but Seras was reaching the limit of her energy. Her freaky sleep schedule was acting up. It was fucking one in the afternoon and she felt like she had stayed up hours after wittle Sweras's beddy-bye-time was announced. She persisted, eager to hear more about her mother but no one was fooled.

Integra took pity on her and concluded the meeting. Maddis had been 'invited' to stay the night... and several days... with a guard outside his door. Mona grabbed her arm and sleep deprived walked her down the hall. Seras protested to no avail. Her friend shoved her onto the bed and pulled off her shoes. She threw a blanket over Seras. It did feel nice. Maybe five minutes...


	19. Who Are Our Mothers and Fathers?

Ok! It's time to check my plot list! Let's see... Seras taken by Hellsing... Done that... Seras stuck with Alucard... Good... Seras learns to read... Check. We find find that Maddison knows Seras... Check... Maddison and Seras have an in-depth conversation in private that's very emotional... Che- _waaaaiittt_ a second... *checks story*

HOLY sh /&/$:$ and mother of /$:({^~!}^\!*! I LEFT OUT AN ENTIRE SECTION OF MY STORY! *cue dramatic chipmunk*

I can't believe I did that! I mean maddis was this huge plot point and I had this scene planned out where they talk but I left that out?! How could I forget!? That's like having all the people on the titanic boat interacting and then suddenly they are all in the water with no explanation as to what happened to the boat. What makes it worse is that Seras is kidnapped and he's not even mentioned.

I must rectify this immediately.

Xxxxxx

"But I thought they did? Maybe not. They talked about how he fed her the blood chocos. Maybe that's not what you meant."

*embarrassed moment* yes, well... There's that but it didn't answer certain question like 'how old am I?' Or 'what was she like?'. Those mushier moments and questions wouldn't have been allowed in Integra's office. You notice that part where Maddis is telling Seras her full name, falls silent and then Integra pulls them back to the more informative bits? She basically snapped her fingers and without verbalizing it, said 'I'm running an secret black ops organization and have fucking vampires to exterminate! Hurry up! Come on! I got some shit to do!'

That's where this chapter comes in. Without prying eyes, Maddis can tell her all the things he had wanted to tell her before the 'jig is up' and he got caught in ch 18. Plus if you find out that someone you supposedly met three years ago, knew you since birth... Wouldn't you want to talk with them? I know I'd have some questions.

Xxxxxx

When Seras woke up next she Immediately felt a terrible hunger welling up for more information. She was far from satisfied. She had known this man for four years now and yet knew nothing about him. Now it seems she had known him for as long as she had been alive and still knew nothing. He knew everything that she didn't. It wasn't fair. She had to see him. She slid out of bed and opened the door. Oh... Right. Lovely. G.I. Joe would be accompanying her wherever she went. Ignoring him she went about her task of finding Walter. He would know where Maddis was.

Luckily she ran into him almost instantly. Speak of the devil...

"Walter! Do you know where I can find Maddis?" She rushed out, impatient to get going already.

He looked at her in sympathy. Never a good sign. "Miss Victoria, I'm afraid we asked him to an extended stay. He is out today packing essentials and handling his affairs. He should be back around four."

It was childish but she suddenly wanted to stamp her feet. "And what time is it?"

He smiled at her impetuous behavior. "It's ten am. You have a few hours to wait it seems. Now if you'll excuse me."

She was once again left feeling completely unsated especially because she was excellent at math. Oh. Oh no! No! No! No! No. She would have to wait six whole hours!

XxxxxxIt just occurred to me that I've never described Maddis, have I? I've always had it in my head though, that he looks like Toodles from the Hook movie. But you know, dark black hair instead of

When she next saw Maddis, he was towering above her and nearly tripped. She had laid in the main hall right in front of the door in protest.

"Agh! Girl! Whet do yeh think your doin?!"

She didn't get up. She just crossed her arms on the floor and glared up at him. "You left." She accused. "I had so many questions and you left!"

"And you decide getting me killed was the way to express yourself? Hmmm?"

"Well-I-I..." She had wanted to fight but she couldn't think of anything. She had been so angry and now that he was here she couldn't find the steam to be mad. He offered his hand.

"Let's you and I go to my room. I'm certain we have much to talk about."

Xxxxxx

When the door to his room closed he didn't look at her like she had expected. He just put his bags down and started shifting through them. For a moment that rankled her, until he pulled out an aged, wrinkly photograph and handed it to her with a solemn look. She took it from him and felt her world tilt.

Safiya Victoria was her mother and yet a stranger. She could not for the life of her, remember the woman's face. Not even her earliest memories held them. Not before knowing the woman's name and, to her sorrow, not after. Nothing. Not even after hours of concentration could she pull up that coveted image of mother. Yet, there in her hands was the missing image. Dark mahogany hair so thick and bushy that it waved and curled all the way to her mid back. Mocha skin that was from years of sun. As she looked longer she saw familiar features that had been in the mirror. A crooked smile, dimples and even the cheeks. She was crying without shame as she saw her mother for the first time that she could remember for many years. The woman in the photograph was in her early twenties, smiling and holding a young mans hand that was...

"Wow! Maddis! You really got old!"

He barked a laugh. "What? Did you think I was born fifty years old?!" He pulled out a chair for her and sat on the end of the bed. She sat quickly. "Now since you'll be playin' the Spanish Inquisition, I'd better give you what you want eh?" He pulled out another photograph and offered it. She felt miserly holding it and it took a great deal of willpower to put down the first in order to fully drink in the second.

"I have baby photos?!" While disappointed that her mother wasn't in this one, she was interested in the pudgy little baby in the photo that supposedly was her. Naked, save for a diaper, the little baby was on her tummy reaching for a toy. There was a pinched facial expression that suggested if she didn't soon master the pincer grasp that would allow her to successfully grasp the toy, a tantrum would be in order.

"oh, only a few million. Your mother had a penchant for carrying that camera around snapping photos." He snorted. "Wanted to snap a photo of every first step, smear of food on your face, every bath, skinned knee, tea party and finger painting. I have two bags full of them. When I... lost her... I didn't have the heart to throw any out."

She looked up and realized that he too had lost quite a bit. He looked pretty sad. She wanted to hug him but didn't know it it would be welcomed. "How old am I?" She hadn't meant to blurt that out while he looked so sad but she was still hungry for all the answers she had only guessed at.

He seemed to come out of it. "You'll be eighteen this December."

"I'm seventeen? We always guessed my birthday to be in June."

He nodded and handed her another photo, clearly expecting her to shoot off a second question. In this one Seras was mesmerized because it was one of her mother heavily into a pregnancy. She looked very happy touching her belly, something that made Seras feel better. "What was she like?"

Maddis talked a long time while she was introduced to the woman she had never met through photograph mediums. Her mother was born in the Yemen but fled to England with her parents when she was six during the South Yemeni civil war. Her mother loved camellias. Her favorite color was a light pink. She loved peanut butter and apples. She loved surprising people. She stood up for others. She once planned an elaborate birthday party for Maddis four days too early because she was so excited and got the day wrong. She had no poker face whatsoever and was a terrible liar. The stories he told painted a strong woman that, although somewhat air headed at times, was smart and quite kind. It made her loss that much harder but she was glad.

"Tell me another one." Her mother also had a weakness for stupid jokes.

He shook his head in exasperation. "As bad as she, you are."

"I'm just trying to see what she found so funny." She insisted.

He arched his eyebrow. "No, you're just trying to get me to support a bad habit." She stared expectantly. He sighed. "Alright. Here's one I told her when we first met. I was trying to impress her and nothing was working, so I tried humor. Unfortunately, or in this case, fortunately, all I could remember were bad ones. What did the the romaine hearts say to get into the hotel?"

She tried to work it out but eventually gave up. "I don't know."

"Lettuce inn." She couldn't help it. It was so stupid it deserved a mercy laugh and a consolatory pat on the back. She laughed. Even he gave a weak grin at its cheesiness. "She laughed too. I missed that laugh. You're so much like her."

She sobered up fast. "I don't... Look... Like-like him... Do I?"

He looked very serious. "No Seras. You don't look like him but I won't lie either. You're a little of both mixed together. He has bone white hair. You have a healthy yellow. She had blue eyes that you got and they are just the right shape too. Don't think you are him. Your mother loved you and no amount of genetics would change that. You don't look like him."

"But-"

"But what?" He interrupted her sharply. "Seras, you've never had anything to do with him. Oh sure he tried to play domestic but your mother did her best to keep him away or he often lost patience with finger painting three-legged purple cats. He didn't change diapers or give help to your poor mother when you had colic. He didn't dress you or feed you. He was only around often enough to claim credit that he saw certain banner events like first steps and first words."

She was quiet as she thought this over and realized he was right. She was no one but herself and growing up on the streets had ensured that. It also made her realize something else. "You did all those things though? Didn't you?"

He looked nervous about her reaction. His throat was thick as he spoke. "Yeh loved purple and never drew more than three legs on animals. When you were learning to walk you fell down all the time but you kept getting back up. You had the most adorably angry expression on your face for a little baby. It like was a frowning raisin. It was a challenge wrestling you into clothes. You kept taking them off and walking around naked. And when you turned three, at the party you were wearing this yellow tutu-"

She had her arms around him squeezing tight. She had a real father. He wasn't genetically hers but he did and had done all the things a father should do. It also led her to the astounding conclusion that Maddis loved her. He had been there since before she was born. He had cared for her, clothed her, fed her, soothed her, played with her and watched her grow. He had done it not because he had to do so, but because he wanted to do so. This amazed her. Maddis had said it before but it hadn't registered. No one had ever loved her like that before. She had a real father.

Xxxxxx

Awww. See? Isn't this a nice addition?


	20. Zhivago

. ㈸1... T_T ㈷7nooooooooooooooooooooo*takes deep breath*ooooooooooooooooooooo!

ive gone from desktop to iPad to IPHONE! IPHONE PEOPLE! IPHONE! Do you know how hard it is to type on the iPhone properly?! ㈷5㈷7 so I promise to do my best but the grammar nazi people better just settle down and ride this out be ause this is going to be difficult for everyone involved. Expect autocorrect f-ups. Expect shed to equal she'd. My iPad is missing... Someone stole it... ㈷2

Xxxxxx

Fourteen years previous...

"Goddammit! What are you just standing there for Zhivago?! Find her! NOW!"

He watched his leader who had always been so composed before become frantic and emotional over a mere little halfling. He turned and followed orders. He ran along the river trying to keep his eyes out for the little girl. He could hear her scream occasionally whenever she bobbed up to the surface. He grinned. He always did enjoy scaring her. He never could understood how such a little thing could make his normally ruthless leader so weak. So pathetic.

His eyes narrowed in irritation when he spotted a fork in the river ahead. His eyes darted to the water again trying to see where she was, which direction the water would take her. Damn! All he saw was white foam moving fast and both he and the girl were getting closer to the fork. He had no choice but to guess. He leapt over the water and took to the rock islet between the two rivers so as to follow the one on the right. He kept his ears perked for her voice. A scream, a gasp, anything.

After another minute he noticed he was steadily getting further away from the river path on his left. He had experienced no luck with this side. He must have picked the wrong one. He angled left in a hurry, putting on a burst of speed and met the waters edge, running parallel with it. He heard another scream from the girl and was further angered when he realized the progressively rising rock walls on either of him were starting to produce echoes. He failed to detect which river it had come with and was starting to second guess himself. Was he right and it was this river? Or was he right the first time but he changed to the wrong one?

He flicked his eyes right and knew he was becoming too far from it to follow and match its speed to stay level with where he estimated her to be, if she was indeed in the left river. Worse was that they were coming to a section of water where the water forked into several tributaries. Given little time to think he chose the larger body of water on the left. The sun was starting to make his skin sizzle as well. He could take some sun but it was only a matter of time before he was forced to stop. He saw a copse of wood ahead that the river flowed into and ran into it. He felt relief and kept running through the woods, slowed by the trees he had to dodge around. He stopped running though when he realized it had been sometime since he heard any sort of noise from the girl.

He scanned around searching the water and realized he had been right the first time. He had moved too soon and started following the left fork when she was in the right one. He knew he would never catch up now, especially since the sun was quickly becoming high noon and even the trees were offering little protection from the sun. He turned around and began a slow walk back to where he had left his leader. Morte would not be pleased...

Xxxxxx

"You failed to find her and you come back anyways?!"

Zhivago stood and listened to the anger Morte expressed and found himself disappointed with the lack of control the man was displaying. Mortimer had always been strong, proud and in control. Yet a halfling falls in the river and all of that disappears. He couldn't understand it. There would be other women. Women that were not human and free to obtain. Other offspring that were not weak little half humans. Why was this one so important? His respect for his leader was slowly dropping. However he found himself holding in his anger when Mortimer Holmstead pointed to the door and said something that made his blood burn.

"Get out and don't come back until you find her! You had better better bring her back! Alive!"

"And if she is not?"

The gloved hands and face tighten. His voice was clipped with his words. " . . . ! Or I will kill you for your failure! NOW OUT!"

Zhivago narrowed his eyes angrily but restrained himself, instead he turned and left. He would not forget this insult.

Xxxxxx

Thirteen years previous...

Yes, that was her.

He was certain this time.

She looked the right age and had the same bright hair. He watched her play in the park from a tree. Now he just needed to see her face to confirm. He watched her get closer to the tree. She ducked around it, hiding from the other children in whatever silly game this was. He broke a twig off and dropped leaves onto her head. She brushed them off and looked up. Zhivago was angry and disgusted. Brown eyes and the nose was the wrong shape. He had been tricked again by what his eyes had wanted to see.

Xxxxxx

Eleven years previous...

Zhivago had stumbled upon them by accident.

He had decided to he was done looking for today... maybe for a few months...

It was completely by accident.

He was hungry and went to an area where it equated to the slums. The homeless were everywhere in crates and cardboard houses. Some had even used a blanket as a door. To Zhivago's eyes it was almost like the packaging on human food he had seen. It was rather humorous to him. He had found three good meals to choose from. There were two large men and a rather petite woman. Hmmm, he did like the women but the men made better meals. However, just when he had been deciding who he would take, a little girl ran out of the makeshift shelter and hugged the woman.

He stared at the perfect shade of blonde, he could hear the unusual heart rate and the woman was calling her Seras. He had found her. He stepped forward to the mouth of the alley and grinned when the two men noticed. They tensed and stepped in his path. The taller black haired one was saying something but it didn't quite register. Humans to him were cattle. Pick a meal and there was little else to be gained from them. He looked at the girl and saw she was hiding behind the woman. She looked at him in fear. It delighted him. Did she remember him? All the times he had snuck up behind her?

However it seemed the humans were demanding his attention and the taller one again stepped in his path, this time blocking his ability to see little Seras. He cocked his head and supposed the human didn't know better.

Well, he was hungry...

He grabbed the hair with his left and the shoulder with his right wrenching them apart. He heard a cracking noise and the other humans were yelling as he bit down. He drank deeply and ignored the annoying attempts to get him off. The man died in his arms and he dropped the body when he finished. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve and grinned at the woman and the man. His glee however fled from him when he could no longer see the girl.

"Where is she?" He snarled at them. They leaned back in fright against the wall as he walked closer. His voice was growing in volume and anger as he realized his quarry was escaping. "I said 'where is she'?! ANSWER me damn you!"

He kicked the box they lived in and punched the wall a few feet from them, leaving a visible dent.

They shook their heads and just when he was considering killing them, he noticed their legs. They had them very close together and it perfectly obscured the section of wall behind their calves. He strode forward and grabbed both their arms ignoring the breaking bones and the woman screaming. He threw them down and saw what they had been trying to hide: a hole. A small one. Just big enough for a child to squeeze through. He leaned down slowly and put his face to the dark room, grinning as he saw her frightened form squeezing a bunny rabbit.

"Boo."

She whimpered, turned around, scrambling around a box and out of view. He stood up and used his fist to break the wall. It took a few more hits but it crumbled. He strode in and looked around. Not here. Irritated he spotted the door and realized with all that noise he hadn't heard her open or close it. He moved fast up the set of stairs to the door and kicked it open, splintering the wood.

There was plenty of screaming and useless noise from the humans as he strode from the back of the shop to the front door. His eyes roved while his senses searched for any scent or sound. His ears only had a jumbled collection of noises that showed there were too many people for him to hear. He stepped outside and was angrier to realize that the outdoor incense shop was masking any smell possible.

Angry at the idea he had lost her again, he took a human and threw it through the glass window. He ran through the crowds trying to locate her but knew he had lost her.

Xxxxxx(oh god dammit. Now I have to write in those friggen accents. Ah screw it! Just pretend ok? For me? Pretty please? *sticks out lower lip*)

Four years previous...

He had been approached by a young human man. Lanky and rather pale. The glasses he wore seem stained from chemical work around the edges but the truly unusual thing about them were that he had three lenses per eye. Other than that he had no interest. Just as he had considered having the man as a meal a young woman that smelled like a vampire came up to his left. He had paused at that. Black hair, black dress and steel bridged glasses she clearly didn't need.

Zhivago rarely appreciated what others called beauty when he saw it. Women said to be indescribably beautiful he found merely dull. Heartfelt moments or reunion that others had, and said to be beautiful, were useless chatter or chance to him. Picturesque scenery was just scenery. He had taken careful time to study landscapes renown for beauty and could never understand what the fuss was. It was a rare thing when he saw any beauty in anything, let alone a person. Clearly they had sent a pretty face along hoping to charm him. The problem was that it was working.

For the first time in many decades he looked at a woman and found her beautiful. Black hair without any frivoulous ornaments. No makeup or powder. No simpering or falseness or even arrogance. Just confidence and power and beauty. Like a calm before the storm. Looking at her was like studying a knife: decorated but still more than functional enough to serve its purpose. You may look in fascination but you had best pay attention in case you got cut. He looked at her and he was not bored. He certainly did not find her dull. So when the next sentence left the mans mouth he found it hard to listen.

"We noticed you some time ago and have taken an interest in you. We would like you to come work with us."

He managed to tear his scrutiny from her face and his eyes slid over to the mans. "To what end?"

"The end is none of your concern. We wish you merely to do the task assigned. We will give you anything you desire if you agree."

For a moment he considered asking for the girl, and then thought better of it. He remembered vaguely that women seldom appreciated being thought as things that could be bought or traded. He would have to find something else. It had been several years since he lost all respect and loyalty to Morte. The man had banished him and the idea made him angry. He found that he didn't care anymore what Morte thought of him.

"Mortimer Homestead." The mans eyebrows arched.

"Yes?"

"I want him dead."

After a moment the man grinned. "As it so happens Mortimer is an associate of ours. He agreed to give blood and any medical information about his dhampir daughter if we located her and returned her to him. Once we have that we will have no further use for him. I think you will find us willing to cut him out of the picture the way you want."

Pleased, Zhivago accepted. Abruptly his pleasure was stunted when he was told of his assignment.

"We need you to locate his daughter and bring her to us."

He was back where he started.

Xxxxxx

Three years previous...

With Mortimer he rarely found the enthusiasm to look for that little halfbreed of his. However with Rip Van Winkle he found himself motivated to impress. Within a mere seven months he managed to find the girl. He met with Rip often during those times and was rather fascinated by her even after a few months had passed. Normally he would have lost interest by now. When he reported he had found her living in an abandoned warehouse. He was irritated when they told him to do nothing and stand by. He was to wait until she was older. Closer to the time she was to turn completely.

His impatience was mitigated by frequent visits from Rip. She was also the messenger between him and the doctor, but her visits were becoming very interesting. He knew to some degree that she was just using him and making sure he stayed loyal to Millennium but Zhivago found he didn't care. He was getting what he wanted from her as well. She was always interesting and he needed to see her more frequently. Hear more of her thoughts. Touch her more often. So until further orders he contented himself with her and put everything else to the back of his mind.

Xxxxxx

One month ago...

Zhivago had finally gained his orders to take the girl, the doctor finally satisfied that she was close to turning. He had reported that he had seen her with another vampire, talking. The doctor wasn't pleased when he named that vampire to be Alucard, associated with Hellsing. Worried with that knowledge, Rip delivered the message: take the girl.

So he decided to wait for when she was alone, or alone enough. He couldn't get them in the Amusement park. Too many people to get lost among. Too many smells and noises. So he waited until they left. He had followed them through the subway till they got off. Then he walked along the road at night getting ready to pounce.

He could smell the black haired ones blood and knew he could kill her and grab the girl easily. However he was concerned when they went past the gate of the place he had long since learned was the Hellsing estate. He had to tell Rip immediately.

Xxxxxx

Six days ago...

While rather disappointed with the decision, as it had been his initial assignment, Millenium had ordered him to orchestrate an attack severe enough that it required Alucard to leave the estate. After all these years he would finally get the girl and he could kill Mortimer, but they didn't want him on the task in question. Rip consoled him however in a rather pleasing way, so he let it go.

Creating a distraction large enough to require Alucard to leave the estate for an extended period of time, that was also far away enough he couldn't help in time required thought. Getting many of the soldiers to leave would also make things easier. So he would need a large population that was quite a ways away from London. Something that would be difficult to suppress or keep from the publics eye. A mess that only Alucard could finish fast enough before anyone noticed that it wasn't a simple chemical spill that became flammable which is why conveniently all the houses needed to be burned down. He grinned because then, he had it. It was perfect. He also never liked the accents there.

Liverpool it was.


	21. Chronic Resistance

Mona had been changing. Some guards by the front gate throwing dice, discussing the latest hassles from their wives. Seras asleep in the infirmary after a blood draw. A maid on the third floor was sneezing profusely and dreading the coming cold. Agnes writing up her latest paper in mental health. The grounds keeper grumbling as he prepared for the nasty job of getting rid of a beehive that had taken up residence. Integra at her desk. Walter serving her tea. Alucard gone from the place with a score of soldiers. Normal things for a normal day.

When people say there is a natural lull before a disaster or storm, they are being misleading. The fact is that most occasions before a disaster are pretty normal. It's only after some cataclysmic event that they remember it different. Petty arguments and anger over the phone disappear with the selective memory humans suddenly gain. People they have despised their entire life suddenly become saints after death. A ugly lawn ornament that gets destroyed is suddenly an irreplaceable treasure. People are funny that way. They can't seem to acknowledge something or someone for what or who it was after its gone.

Humans are social creatures by nature. They were designed with codependency and coexistence in mind. The desire for acceptance and to fit it is as common as the desire to stand out. No human was ever designed to truly be prepared for loss. We reason with ourselves and minimize our sense of grief. We justify why this happened or that occurred. We try to make contingency plans to prevent being caught off guard or without guidance when something happens.

When the Hellsing estate was attacked, no one was prepared.

A rumbling roar that grew increasingly louder announced the first wave of the coming onslaught. Mortar bombs sang their flight with whistled cheer like some sort of sick firework. Smoke bombs flew over the walls by the dozens. Continuos gun fire popped repeatedly. The grounds out front had become a war zone as the alarm was raised. The grass slippery with blood and burnt from grenades. Integra was shouting into the phone over tea stained documents, when the phone lines had been cut. Cell phone jammers did their work as even walkie talkies failed in the only task they had been created to do.

Continuing to toss free smoke bombs on the ground visibility quickly became zero. A few lucky hits sailed through the windows, breaking them and filling the insides with smoke. Men stormed the halls of Hellsing. Shouts were heard everywhere. Confusion reigned havoc as the disorganized troops of Hellsing coughed their way through the smoke in an attempt to defend the place. However the element of surprise was quickly fading from the attacking sides favor as the defenders managed to regroup and become organized. Ferguson managed to regain control of his soldiers just in time for the smoke to clear and... do nothing?

They were gone. The walkie talkies were no longer jammed and communication was possible again. A report to each floor showed that the attack was over and that the intruders had left. He charged to Integra's office fearing that the attackers had achieved their goals and left. He found to his relief, and puzzlement, that she was alive and well.

"Report." Her clipped tones showed how angry she was.

"Sir. We have low casualties below ten people and almost no injuries. Communications reveal that each floor is clear of intruders. Whatever they wanted they found and left with. We shall do a full sweep to discover what it was they were after."

Xxxxxx

Integra Hellsing was rarely puzzled. It was a difficult feat to pull one over her and she knew it. This self-concept she had meant that when someone did managed to get the better of her she had quite the sore temper. She had scoured every floor for paperwork that was missing, the lower levels to see if they were after Alucard, or even the library. She found nothing out of place. She didn't understand. If nothing was missing then what had they been after? Were they simply testing themselves against her men? Looking for weak points? Trying to kill Alucard but realized he wasn't there? She had considered that they hadn't stolen but left something but that was a bust as well. No listening devices or bombs as early Christmas presents.

'_What do I have to steal that's worth all this?_'

It was just when she was thinking that, when she saw Mona run forward, panicked and out of breath, that she remembered Seras.

"Can't-... find-... Seras..." She sucked in a breath occasionally as her breathing normalized. "Came as-... soon as I-... found out. Not in-... infirmary... Looks like there-... was a fight down there."

Oh fucking hell.

Xxxxxx

She kicked. Punched. Resisted. Dragged her heels as they dragged her by her arms. Tried to bite even, with no success. They ignored it like a lion does a fly. That is, until she managed a lucky kick to the family jewels on the man to her right. He stopped and slapped hard, a ring on his finger cutting her cheek. She was dazed from the force of the blow and they pulled her down the hall to a door.

From there she was pulled into a solid concrete room with one chair under a cone bulb. She struggled and it took five men to secure her to the chair. Four for each limb and one with the zip ties. They left wordlessly as she shouted insults at their retreating backs. Then the door closed and she was alone. The harsh light irritated her eyes.

Looking around resulted in nothing interesting. Seras supposed it was your standard prison cell. Dank, no real furnishings and very boring. Someone was going to come by soon. Right?

Xxxxxx

Seras knew her sense of time sucked. Sometimes a minute felt like three. A hour like fifteen minutes. Forty-five minutes seemed like two hours. She had no real way of knowing how long she sat there before the door opened. She was thinking it was had been a few hours but that might be just her impatience.

"Hello mein fräulein!"

The two men that walked in were not at all the kind of people she expected to see. Truthfully she didn't know what to expect but she thought she would get more G-I Joe and less Dr. Frankenstein. The first man wore a lab coat and had these rather strange four lensed glasses on his face. He was wheeling in a tray of syringes and smiling rather manically. Some messy long blond hair and a pair of white gloves with stains completed the picture.

The second man was somewhat more dressed like Deepthroat from that one American film. He had an ankle length trench coat with the collar popped up to cover his face, and a military looking cap. She could tell he was male and that his hair, that was long enough to be messy, was blonde. Other than that there was little to be seen. She noticed Deepthroat stood in front of the door like a body guard.

Dr. Frankenstein took off his fabric gloves and began putting on some rubber ones. This made Seras somewhat uneasy inside even if she didn't show it. She kept her poker face pretty well, until he picked up the syringe. That was where she started to get really nervous. To her relief though there was nothing in it.

"Hey!" She protested when he came over and the needle pierced her skin and started drawing blood. "Stop that!"

"Worry nicht my madchen! Just a little blood sample."

They finished and she stared when he put a bandaid on her arm. That wasn't what made her stare though. It was a swastika bandaid. What the hell? Her grasp of history was admittedly shaky at best but even she was familiar with the basic history of the war and the Nazi symbol. They were already gone by the time she stopped looking. It occurred to her then.

"Holy shit balls! I've been kidnapped by Nazis!"

Xxxxxx

The idea of Nazis still existing to Seras was weird in of itself; _didn't they all die in the war?_; but the idea of vampire nazis was just plain ludicrous. Add to the fact that the vampire nazis were working with human nazis and Dr. Franken-wannabe and things started to push the boundary of belief. It was like the plot of a bad movie. She also had the deep suspicion that them taking her blood wasn't for a blood drive at the local hospital. Who knew what kind of bizarre things that quack doctor could do with her freaky DNA?

Aside from that she had other questions that scared her. She was frightened because there were no answers. What was going to happen now? In fact, what was going to happen to her? Did they get everything they wanted? Did they need more blood and things? If they didn't then would they kill her? Would they just leave her here? Did Integra or Alucard have any idea of where she was right now? Were they coming for her? _Would_ they come for her? Seras knew that Alucard would... but she also knew that her illness was a money pit that came with all sorts of trouble. Seras knew that Alucard would... if Integra would let him...

Xxxxxx

After a couple hours of the most uncomfortable sleeping position, where she remained in a limbo between awake and actually asleep, the door opened again. Silent and creepy was back. This time Deepthroat was with someone new. At a first, very tired glance, Seras almost thought the new person was a woman in a suit. _**Integra? **_

Then her eyes refocused and she realized it was a man with long blonde hair, glasses and a white suit. They didn't seem keen on sharing names so she resorted to nicknames again. Unfortunately she was too tired to really come up with anything creative. Girlyman came closer and put a chair down in front of her. As usual, Deepthroat was a silent guard for the door.

"Hello Seras. I have some questions to ask you." She picked up the cultured, almost fussy voice and decided a new nickname was in order. Polly Prissy Pace waited for her to speak until he came to the conclusion that she had already decided on. "Not going to speak? No? Very well."

He reached into the bag she hadn't noticed earlier and pulled out a water bottle. Her entire body froze and every iota of attention and fear zeroed in on that object. She barely heard the man as he spoke and clearly he had misinterpreted her tenseness.

"Thirsty? Answer my questions and you can have some. Understand?"

She just trembled and felt like she was suffocating in the presence of the liquid. She didn't notice him frown. She didn't notice that he noticed she was trembling. She didn't notice that he was starting to put two and two together. She didn't notice anything but the water. She did notice when his hand unscrewed the lid and moved it closer. She whimpered and tried to move back. The intent look on his face became more curious as he returned the lid to the bottle and back to the bag. With its presence gone she managed to relax some, enough to realize she was in trouble. She had given herself away. The man had noticed her fear.

"Hydrophobia?"

She frantically shook her head trying to fix the situation. If they thought they had something they could use then she was in deep shit. No shoes or socks or airwick spray, wading in a sewer of complete shit. She could tell though that it was too late. He knew she was lying.

"Unusual. Answer my questions and I will leave the bottle in the bag. Don't answer ... and you get a bath." She tried to not quiver.

"Do you know of any passageways or entrances to the Hellsing estate?"

She frantically shook her head. At this point she couldn't trust her mouth. She _did_ know of a few doors. She knew things she couldn't give. To do so would sign a death warrant on any person in Hellsing. Her fear made her do things she didn't want to do. She couldn't trust her voice. _Keep my mouth shut and deny everything_. Polly Prissy Face could go fuck himself. She tried to keep the situation light so as to keep herself focused less of the threat of what he would do and more on the shutting up. He narrowed his eyes.

"Answer me or we will see about getting you a shower. Speak."

Fear made her tremble. Fear made her quake. Fear made her want to tell them everything she knew... but courage and loyalty and desperation made her want to resist. Some small part of her felt that saying anything was a betrayal to Alucard. She wouldn't betray him. She couldn't. So she complied and spoke, keeping her voice steady.

"I'm not telling you anything lady. So cut off your dick, shove it up your ass and go fuck yourself." Ooooh. She'd have to remember to tell that one to Mona later.

The man lost his temper fast and before she knew it he had emptied the entire bottle on her head. She felt the familiar panic ensue and her chair fell back. She didn't notice when they left. All she had was water. Choking her. Trapping her. She bobbed along the currents coming up for air and a scream before ducking back under, clawing for the surface.

Xxxxxx

When Seras woke up it was to the same position she had fainted in. Tied to a chair that had fallen to the ground. The cold stone stung her right cheek with its frigidity. She raised her head and winced at the angle but it was better than a frost bitten face.

After a couple moments she wiggled and tried to rock her chair onto its back. After trying six more times she had only bruised knees for her efforts. She couldn't seem to swing high enough or get enough **oomph** to roll the chair over. A few minutes spent on her situation gave her another idea. Instead of her back, what about her front? She angled her right foot and pushed away. She yelped in pained surprise when she got it on the first try and her forehead hit a rough pach of concrete. She also had'nt accounted for the fact that her fingers were being crushed between the chairarm and the floor.

Oh _hell_ this was going to hurt. With a couple more minutes effort of scrunching and trying to get both feet underneath her she succeeded. She had found purchase and traction. _I'm going to break my hand with this aren't I?_ She rocked to the side slightly and felt the pain from her protesting fingers as she tipped back onto both knees. _Yep. Definitely going to break a few fingers if I don't succeed on the first try._

She needed a method that wouldn't leave her crippled on the first try. There would be no use in attempting an escape with broken hands. Seras abandoned her initial plan fast. Examining the closest wall she figured she could use the leverage. Feet underneath her, she pushed towards that wall. The pain from her knuckles were definitely from shredded skin. She flexed them to avoid dislocation. She slid forward some more. Flex. It took a couple more pushes until she was at the wall and she found the wetness between her fingers on both hands disheartening. She had to be bleeding.

Shit. This better be worth it.

The first slide was probably the hardest... but then again she later remembered believing that each individual attempt was the hardest. So who knew the truth? Wedged between her feet and the 'horns' of the chair she managed to rock back and forth, pushing till her spine was horizontal with the wall. Pushing sideways she slid and fell back. Gratified to hear the sound of cracking wood she wiggled and became dismayed to realize that only a back leg had broken. Sighing, she slid her feet and flexed her bleeding fingers until her head was back facing the wall again.

Attempt number one a fail. Only five billion more to go.

Xxxxxx

Seras didn't exactly have a plan. It was more of an idea. Escape this place. There wasn't much more to it then that. Was the door locked? Are guards outside the door? Are guards outside the door doing their job? Where was the way out? Could she find a weapon? Where was she? Could she find a phone and call Mona? These questions are essential to an escape plan. Without them or the answers you won't get very far. So as noted before she didn't have a plan. She had an idea.

After her twenty-sixth crawl on the wall and flop till you drop, she finally managed to break the last chair arm and leg. What kind of durable wood was that chair made of anyways? Standing up she removed the pieces of wood that remained attached with the zip ties. Her knuckles had been stripped of all skin. Grimacing she pressed them against her shirt to staunch the bleeding. She moved over to the door and gave the handle a try.

Locked.

Well what else could she expect? There was a key hole though. Maybe she was in luck. She reached up a hand and patted her hair for a bobby pin. Come on... Something. Nothing in her pockets. Her earring studs were too short to do the trick. She was wearing a sports bra-so there was no wire. What did she have? Think!

Then she saw it: the necklace. The tear drop rubies were long enough and the right shape. Maybe... The thing had been on her body for so long that she had stopped noticing it there. If she was persistent and tolerant of pain then she could manage it. And she was very tolerant of pain...

Kneeling down she reached for a particularly long ruby and yanked. Whimpering, a lance of fire licked down her side. She bit her lip to keep quiet until the pain passed. Pinching firmly between her index and thumb she stuck it into the slot and wriggled it around.

She heard the clicking of the tumblers and spindle as they moved back and popped forward. Every time she got one to move back it would pop out again when she would try the next one. She needed a longer stick that had a curved end to hold the others in place while another stick worked on the others. Frustrated with her lack of success she swore when she lost her grip and it slipped inside where she could not retrieve it.

Thinking fast, she got up and walked to the other side of the room where she was far away enough from the door. She looked down and was pleased when her necklace was fixed. She wasn't so pleased when the handle moved and the door swung open. Frankenwannabe and Talkative were back.

Seeing her free from the wrecked chair, the doctor ordered for her to be restrained. Seras didn't wait for the bigger man to stride forward or prepare himself for a struggle. She bent her knees and launched herself at the man. Despite having superior weight, height and mass Seras managed to take him down in a off guard moment. He hit the floor and she quickly scrambled up so as to make for the door.

Pain erupted behind her eyes and her whole body stiffened. Muscle spasms and this trilling arcing feeling like she had stuck a screwdriver into a light socket. She hit the ground and felt her body stiffen up. She couldn't even scream as her jaw clenched. When it was over Seras felt weak and sleepy as a twitchy hum twilled through her joints and then her chest to her fingers and back. Breathing heavily she saw the doctor pull back some sort of electric pole with two prongs on the head of it.

Xxxxxx

Drowsy from whatever had been done to her, Seras blacked out and woke back up repeatedly. She was being dragged by her ankles somewhere. After a few minutes more she realized it was a hallway. Her brain was confused and her body was weak. _Slee...py..._

Xxxxxx

Momentarily woken up by the pain of her head dragging across the threshold of a door, her head flopped over to find that she was in a filthy tiled room being dragged by her ankles still. Her head felt clearer, she realized. So too had the doctor because he took out that long apparatus from before and her world blurred into electric agony.

Xxxxxx

She awoke slowly. The electric shocks having turned her energy into nothing. Moving was useless she realized but it took a few seconds longer for her brain to process why. Oh... She was tied up again with the cold floor as her blanket. Ankles together with a band of something around them. Her wrists tied up behind her.

"Awake now?"

She tried to turn her head towards the sound of the voice but couldn't turn far enough. Too tired to flip over onto her left side she was forced to lay there looking at the wall. From the sound of the voice, Polly Prissy Face was back. Lovely. Apparently realizing she wouldn't speak, or maybe he just loved the sound of his own voice. Both?

A large hand buried itself into her scalp and pulled her to her knees. She struggled against whoever and looked up into the familiar face of the silent man from before. Her hair was twisted painfully until she was facing Polly Prissy Face. He sat in a chair with on leg over the other. Bastard looked rather carefree. He even had the gall to look sympathetic. She gritted her teeth angrily.

"I'll offer you **one** last chance. Tell me of any passageway into Hellsing. Any will do. I only need one."

"I know nothing."

"Is that your answer? Are you sure?"

He gestured to her right where a metal trough of water sat. The effect was as quick as always. She cringed and trembled. She wanted to scream and beg and tell him anything. _But... Alucard..._ She closed her mouth and sucked down on her teeth. Fear made her voice treacherous.

Her head shook frantically.

Xxxxxx

She screams in fear, the sound like a howl to her ears under water accompanied by bubbles as she thrashes under the surface. She had come to despise the hand of the man who held her under. She chokes and struggles for air while it holds her effortlessly in place. It would let her up just long enough for her to gasp in air, shake her head 'no' to his demands, only to shove her back under. She didn't know how many times the fuckers had done this. They had made her cry. They had made her scream. They made her cough and to her shame she had wet herself in terror. They had humiliated her and she despised them all the more for it. Her screams and the sound of water roar in her ears as he holds her under again.

The hand relents and she dives up wheezing and spluttering. She shivered with hot tears rolling down her cheeks. She never stopped shaking like she had epilepsy. She hated him. She hated his calm demeanor. She hated his crisp voice and perfect suit. She hated his blond hair and his horn rimmed glasses. Hated that all it took was a flick of the wrist for the order to be given that would drown her. And she hated that he made her weak in resolve.

"Seras... This isn't necessary you know. All I need is a _little_ information. Just give me _something_." She had never thought it possible to loath the very sight of a person and she found herself doing just that. "Just give me something and this will stop. You can get a towel, a change of clothes and a dry area to lay. A real bed."

Her cowardice screamed for her to take the deal. Water everywhere. On her... Yet a small portion of her heart said the damning question: _but what about Alucard?_ Something about the idea of betraying Alucard made her heart clench painfully. She shook her head and felt terror fill her as water became her old friend again. She screamed and thrashed.

Xxxxxx

Time oozed slowly through a pinprick tube made of cold molasses. It moved with sadistic slowness as her lungs burned and that hand she hated so much held her under. The only time it seemed to speed up was when she broke the surface for air. Adrenaline made her blood move fast and her head sang and spun with dizziness.

"Feeling cooperative yet Seras?"

She wheezed and panted as she felt fear start to get the best of her. "I-_**ha'ah**_- I hate- _**ha**_- you."

"That's fine. Just as long as you tell me what I want to know."

"On the second floor towards the back there's a-"

She faltered. What was she doing? There was a first attack and she didn't know who had been hurt. Oh god! What if someone had died?! Mona?! Was Mona ok? Or Walter or Integra or Agnes? If she told them someone would die. Her fear lessened its hold for a minute letting her brain and courage scrape together. Adrenaline was helping her overcome a fear that Mona had never been able to do. He spoke then, shamelessly eager.

"Yes? Go on. Think of the dry clothing."

Her bravery flatlined at that leaving her brain scrambling for humor if she couldn't manage courage. "Well damn there's the nicest sofa I have ever seen. Leather and soft. I mean I-"

She choked as the order was given. Again she was dunked.

Xxxxxx

"And now?"

"Fuck yo-"

She drowned.

Xxxxxx

"I'm a patient man and I dare say I can do this all day."

"And I say your mother sucks dick so hard tha-"

She drowned.

Xxxxxx

After several hours she knew her resolve was starting to crumble. Even asking herself about Alucard wasn't doing much good. She floundered for the courage she needed to to keep denying him. It started to become a game to see how long she could hold out. How long could she hold out before Alucard came and rescued her?

She just needed to spend a few minutes above water to regain herself.

"Tsk tsk. Just tell me." She decided to make something up to buy time.

"There's a door. It has a code."

"Where?"

"I don't know. It has a service tunnel that leads from outside the grounds into the mansion itself."

"Will a douse help jog your memory?"

"I don't know! I overheard it from Walter. He didn't know I was listening." It was working. Her head was clearer.

"Very well. What's the code?"

After a moment she came up with something that would give her enough satisfaction to resist again.

"Write this down." He raised an eyebrow but pulled out some paper and a pen. "E-M-W-O-L-B"

He looked confused. "Emwolb?"

She breathed deeply, preparing herself for the drowning. "Write that backwards." After a moment he was deeply angered and she dunked again.

They left her after that and she passed out soon after from exhaustion. When would Alucard come? She didn't know how much longer she could do this. In her dreams she was screaming in the river again. Drowning and struggling for air she couldn't get.


	22. Panic, Battles And Beasts

The attack in Liverpool had been so devastatingly sudden that she'd had no choice but to send him out. She had already sent out a message telling him that the estate had been attacked and that he was allowed to use any means necessary to finish fast. Even in his early days he had been manipulative, vindictive and dangerous in pursuit of his desires. Knowing what she did of his plans for Seras, Integra cringed at the idea of informing Alucard what had happened while he was gone.

The contract that had been formed between her ancestor and Alucard meant that he was free to break his bonds if a Hellsing prevented him from taking any fledgling of his choice. If he decided to go off the moment he knew there was little she could do to prevent him without invalidating the agreement. Alucard unbound and unleashed upon the world was a horror she could not allow. She had to be certain that there would always be someone who would set down a line in front of him and prevent him from crossing it.

It wasnt that she didn't want Seras rescued, the poor girl had earned a soft spot in Integra, but she needed this to be done right. She wanted intel on the enemy and if Alucard went alone she might not get that. She didn't know how she was going to stop Alucard long enough to convince him without giving orders. She also only had forty-five minutes before the car got here from the airport. This would have to be done with some quick thought and-

"Hello my master. You seem troubled."

She jumped and scowled. He looked please to have startled her. It had been a long time since he had gotten the drop on her like that. She felt uneasy because she would have less time to think things out. He came forward and sat in the chair. No invitation needed, to his mind, as usual.

"You're early."

"I grew bored with the slow pace of the human machines." Damn, and she had been relying on him to be normal enough to sit in a car for forty minutes. "I regret to hear there was some excitement I missed in my absence. Tell me there is a chance they will return."

No good. He had that look in his eyes that he might start probing her mind for the cinematic version, hoping for blood and gore. She had to tell him. "Worse. We will be attacking them."

He grinned widely, anticipating battle. "You know where they are."

She shook her head. "We will soon, with your help." There, he seemed puzzled. "Alucard when they were here the attack was incredibly fast. The way it was staged was more of a distraction then an actual assault. Practically no casualties on our side. Its like they were hardly aiming. They were pulled out and gone in under ten minutes. What does that tell you?"

"They wanted something."

"Yes, and they got it." She said nothing, knowing in a minute he would figure it out.

His eyes sharpened and blanked momentarily. He snarled. "Where is she? I cannot sense her here!"

"They took her from the infirmary. We didn't know until a hour after she had gone. Alucard!"

He had. been up out of the chair and halfway across the room before she had even finished. He turned to look at her furious. He looked full of rage that she would dare use the seals, his gloves glowing.

"You dare use them on me?!" He growled. "You dare? Knowing full well I have the right to break them?"

She kept the seals, and by extension, him steady in place. "Alucard, this is not just yours, but our enemy. I want them destroyed completely."

"Then let me leave!" He growled.

"Not yet."

His face twisted and he snarled, the sound low, drawn out and threatening. It rippled and popped, the tenor of it rising and lowering with his anger as it promised pain to anyone in his way. Against her will the tiny hairs on the back of her neck raised as her instincts recognized the threat of a predator. She squeezed her hands together. Stay calm.

"Shall I take my leave of you my master?" She had fully expected that question but the effect it had on her insides was just as nerve wracking. She had to choose her words with care and try to convince him.

"Alucard, this must be done right or the enemy will only be damaged, not destroyed. I need information, placements of troops, my men stationed nearby to seal all exits. It you go off half cocked then all you will have done is kill a few grunts while the heads of the organization we are facing escape. Restrain yourself."

Reluctantly she released the order to stay still and waited to see what he would do. It took three very tense minutes before he turned and walked to the wall, giving her an ultimatum as he left the room.

"You have two hours to move your men or I will be going alone."

Xxxxxx

His impatience was only slightly tempered with the knowledge that the slow moving humans would be moving out in two minutes. Or rather they would be moving out alone with no heading if they didn't. He stood stiffly as men ran for the trucks with full combat gear. Integra had delivered and met his ultimatum in full as he watched a full contingent of men loaded into the transport vans ready for battle.

One minute and ten seconds. He supposed he was overreacting. He watched as the Iron maiden herself entered a chopper dressed for war. He growled. So slow. There were other women he could make his fledgling but he knew he would be hard pressed to find any with a fraction of the potential and beauty of Seras. Fifty-nine seconds. The last of the men loading into the trucks. So mind numbingly slow. She would be magnificent. There was some quality to her that made him feel...

Thirty-two seconds. The chopper was hovering now as it started to gain altitude. Some quality about her that made him feel... What? What did she make him feel? He had had fledglings before true, but all he had ever felt was physical desire or disdain. Occasionally both. Twenty-four seconds. Why was this one so important so as to make him feel anything? It was a weak fluttering sensation that had grown with time, strengthening with a desire to possess her completely.

The engines of the vehicles roared. He split into several bats and took flight. The search light from the helicopter fell on him as the air vehicle began following him and leading the rest of the soldiers to their destination. He looked forward to the battle to come.

Xxxxxx

{_**R.H, this is Alan-a-Dale and I'm coming up from your seven. Do you copy? Over.**_}

{**_This is R.H, Alan-a-Dale, I copy. Over._**}

{_**R.H, I am having limited sight of the target. He seems to be traveling further ahead at klicks that exceed the range of my sight. Confirmation required that we still have the target in sight. Over.**_}

{_**Alan-a-Dale, this is R.H and I have visual. I confirm visual. Stay the course. Over.**_}

{**_Do you think if I use my garden hose I can pass it off as an accident, Alan-a-Dale? Over._**}

Laughter was heard over the line.

{_**This is R.H. Negative Little John. Target could become a bogey. Even maid Marian wouldn't be able to protect you. Keep buzzing and your weapons cold until we reach the extraction point.**_}

Xxxxxx

I'm an american. An american with zero military experience save what I see on TV. I have NO clue what British forces or military is like despite my efforts to find out online. So I'm just going to go with what I know and hope no one crucifixes me for it.

*Garden hose: Slang for Gatling gun.

*Bogey: Potentially hostile aircraft.

*Buzzing: A term to describe flying dangerously close to the ground or skimming the tops of trees.

I'm having too much fun listening to I, monster-Blue Wraith!

Xxxxxx

At first the four helicopters failed to see anything since they were flying as close to the tree line as they dared to avoid any detection from the enemy. Yet after another minute flying they spotted a compound fitted into the side of a gully. It was mercifully too dark behind the clouds to see much detail. While it meant to Integra that she would have to wait till day to get more detail, it also meant it was too dark to be spotted by any patrols over zealous enough to look up. By her estimation they had traveled as far Northwest as Louth, near the coast: a surprisingly far distance to travel.

The pilots of her choppers were already radioing directions in to her men on the ground who had discovered a service road that led here. They were about five minutes behind. She also had to start shutting her connection with Alucard down because his anger and anticipation of the coming fight were starting to color her thoughts. For someone who claimed to have no emotional connection to anyone, he sure was protective of the girl. She waved to the co-pilot to get his attention and used her communicator.

{**We wait until the ground units arrive. Then we attack.**}

He nodded and looked forward, beginning to relay the message.

Xxxxxx

She had tried to see some sinister end to it but she couldn't find anything. At first she had ignored the paltry offering, preferring to see some trick or angle to it. Were there drugs in it? Then as time went on, and she became hungry, Seras was forced to admit that food was just food. She had been sitting in her cell when someone apparently realized puny mortals like her needed to eat. If Seras had been asked she would have said that it looked like she had been given the items from the staff room that no one was willing to eat, or admit was theirs, or they would have to take the time to throw it out. Cold toast that was somewhat gummy from being refrigerated, a small slice of meatloaf that looked like leftovers and an apple that was beginning to soften with age. They even gave her a spork. She sighed and started eating. Not like she could make a shiv with it. Didn't have anything to sharpen it with.

She had just been contemplating the apples eligibility as a consumable object when the walls around her shook with a large, muted boom. She felt the thick cement walls around her quiver as some sort of explosion was happening somewhere above her. Some dust and cement chipped from the ceiling all around her and rained down on her head. She raised her eyes up and saw a crack. She threw herself down with her arms over her head as a second explosion rocked her cell. Even more chipped down on her and this time a slow, drawn out cracking noise accompanied it. She looked up when it stopped and saw that the crack had grown. The ceiling was threatening to give out from over her. No... No... She scrambled to her feet and dashed to the door. She tugged on the handle. Locked. She hammered on the door frantically.

"Help! Someone! Let me out of here! Help!" She yanked at her necklace frantically and began yelling at it, hoping that Alucard was listening. It had to be them. That had to be the sound of fighting.

"Alucard! Can you hear me? I'm stuck down here and the ceilings going to collapse on me! You have to get me out of here! Alucard! Alucard?! _Alucard?!_ Can you hear me? I'm going to die down here you rotten bastard if I don't get out of this room!"

Silence. Well what had she expected? For him to talk back or materialize? Well she had hoped. No. She was on her own. Think, think, think, think, think. _What am I going to do?!_

She found two long pieces of ruby, thin enough. A yelp of pain later she was holding two of them and trying to pick it. A third explosion made a fine dust start to fill the room and her lungs as the crack grew exponentially longer. She coughed convulsively. A nervous glance showed that it would hold a little longer. Then she looked back to her work. _Got to get out of here. _If she wasn't fast enough then dusty air would be the least of her problems.

Xxxxxx

There were some occasions where a notable sort of fitful rage triggered that beast inside Alucard. The one that purred languidly when he killed and enjoyed the blood splashing everywhere. There were states to him where he merged and had control and he enjoyed the emotions that came with. It was only once in a rare blue moon when that creature took over Alucard and he had no control. It took a special catalyst to flip that particular switch. Alucard himself is a dark person with violent desires but also with interests outside bloodshed. He had limitations he set for himself. Small ones but there was a line nonetheless. A line that evaporated when that thing inside him took over.

It took Alucard's basic desires and darkened them to its own purpose.A hunger for the most violent things that couldn't be satiated with a meal. A hunger that couldn't be satiated by anything. It had little interest except to see how it could torment you best. The creatures desire is to find your idea of purgatory, turn it into hell and make you exists there to weep helplessly at its feet... if it doesn't kill you first.

That's what Alucard was when not in control and that was the sort of beast he was at the moment as he sought out every puny life form that got in his way. He could scent the stench of holy barriers and water in the walls. They prevented him from scenting her. It only made him angrier. His shadows were quickly spreading out and extending to every floor. They stabbed and tore at the ichor stained walls, sizzling in contact with the barriers. He could feel the structure all around him beginning to crumble both from his attempts to sense her and from the explosions outside. Even in this state he had the sense to know she could not survive here if the structure exceeded its breaking strain. It only made him work faster.

Xxxxxx

It had been a ragged two minutes where the ceiling crack lengthened from two more explosions. Breathing and sight became a challenge from dust. The ceiling was making more frequent symphonies of cracking, squealing of bending metal, groaning under the demand of holding up whatever was above her. Worse was that the rubies were the worst lock picks ever. Her luck change though when the sixth explosion cracked the door frame. She didn't take the time to think it over. She slammed her weight against the door and was gratified with fresh air from the other side. She looked up and was horrified to realize that the cracking was extending out to the corridor as well.

Looking around the white hallways quickly she spotted a sign that pointed left to a stairwell. She ran forward and made a few turns around corners following the sign till she arrived at a door. She felt even better when she didn't have to take the time to pick the lock on this one. It was open. She looked up and was surprised to see how many floors she had to go to reach the top. Her eyes flickered to the sign that read: "Subfloor 50."

"No fucking way..." She breathed in horror. She had to run up fifty floors before she reached the ground floor, meanwhile the ceiling and walls were spidering all around her threatening to collapse. Shit.

Her eyes flickered to her left as an ominous cracking showed the stairwell was starting to show signs of stress. She didn't stick around and instead began taking the stairs two at a time, breathing deeply to try to keep going as well as she could.

Xxxxxx

I had a lot more in mind to write but I got too excited to wait. Please review! I need to know what I'm doing right or wrong so I can improve as a writer. And please write more than 'can't wait' or 'more please'. It doesn't have to be a paragraph but I request you tell me one thing you liked about this chapter and/or one thing I could change/add/takeout to make better. Pweetty pweeessss?

Look! Here's a bunny! In exchange please review.

(\_/)

='.'=

(')_(')*

-He Will Knock Four Times


	23. Witch Hunts, Rage And Rescues

The stress the structure was experiencing was becoming worse. In just four minutes of climbing the stairwell the walls around her were spidering in a very threatening way. She didn't have very much experience with architecture but it was a real concern that the stairs would be next. Seras was rather fit from running and a lot of physical activity but she had only managed to climb twenty six out of fifty floors... and she was running out of steam. At this point she was panting heavily, moving slow and using the rail to pull her up the next set of steps.

"Shit. I'm no fatso the clown but even I need an escalator at this point."

Xxxxxx

It was barely a battle. It was a ambush. An extermination. A witch hunt. Three hundred men armed to the teeth lined up in a circle two hundred feet back from the compound, surrounding it. Under her direction they were taking out all the defectors fleeing the building from Alucard's darkness. Either there were fewer than one hundred enemy personnel in the compound they were raiding or Alucard was killing every single poor bastard in there that he saw. There was a very tense silence from everyone that was only occasionally broken by a gunshot cracking the air. Everyone stared at the walls, the doors and windows. Despite it being early morning and there was some light, the windows were pitch black. She shivered. She recognized this. Alucard was a mass of shadows right now and killing everything in sight.

It was a mystery to Integra, the kind of pull that single girl had on her beast. He was killing for Seras, had killed for Seras before, had lied to her, Integra, his own master and threatened to defect from her services if he was refused her. It was a mystery. It didn't add up. Everything she knew of his character suggested that he cared for nothing but his own interests. Yet this small girl made him willing to give up his every-man-for-himself attitude.

"Wondering why he is this way Integra?" Surprised at the almost clairvoyant observation she gave Walter a wry smile.

"He's always been so self absorbed that it's strange she can make him think of anything else."

"Regrettably, in miss Victorias case, affection can make even the most evil of men do something kind."

She raised her brows. "Affection? Your insinuating he has love for Seras. Then you also believe him capable of love? That's a stretch Walter."

He laughed. "Every beast has a beauty they are surprised to find their heart given to. I don't believe Alucard is any exception. He claims disinterest in her yet he says she is his and threatens to terminate his services. He claims she will just be a lover and a companion yet he goes to level one just to rescue her when level four would suffice. He is in denial about his own affections. That miss Victoria is quite the alluring trap to Alucard. He cannot resist her and she doesn't even do it on purpose." There was almost an amused but admiring tone to him.

Still skeptical, but seeing the reasoning she nodded, turning her focus back to the building as another gunshot downed a fleeing man. It was somewhat amusing. He so rarely went to any length for the sake of someone else. Then again, perhaps this was for his sake as well. He _had_ claimed Seras as his own.

"Let's just hope she is ok. I don't know if I can stop him if something has happened to her. Even my ancestor barely survived trapping him."

Xxxxxx

Cracked walls and avalanches of cement from above were terrifying to Seras. Bits of stair, judging from the square shape were starting to chip. Occasionally she had to flatten herself to the wall when large chunks the size of her torso cracked against one wall, announcing its drop with a bang of rock, before falling to the opposite side and continuing down. The place was falling apart around her. But she really ran into a problem when she nearly fell over the edge of a large gap in the stair case. Three feet up and four feet away the thing continued. Even in days where she had been fully rested she could make a gap like that. There wasn't a superior height to jump from and it was too far away.

"Shit!" She looked at the sign a few feet away. Subfloor twenty one. "Fucking hell!"

She needed a new way out and she couldn't hang around here. The whole place crumbling around her like some movie after they remove the big jewel from the pedestal in the temple. Quickly looking around she spotted the door that led to subfloor twenty two. There had to be another stairwell around her somewhere. There had to be something. She went back down the few steps to the landing where the door was. Thankfully it wasn't locked.

Xxxxxx

Anger was an overused word that had been watered down over the course of many years. It's why words like 'rage' and 'irritation' were so useful. They described the levels and implications of anger. 'Irritation' might have someone knocking coffee out of your hands and shouting, but 'rage' was meant to describe something more primal. 'Rage' is when the better nature of even the most evil natured creatures deserts them. 'Rage' is what beasts had.

Rage was a state he had left behind hours ago. His shadows were feeling along the walls, getting closer to the source of the holy barrier that prevented him from finding Her. With minds of their own souls he had consumed or beasts that were his familiars emerged to do his bidding. They writhed and flailed ineffectually, trying to gain freedom from the beast that had killed them long ago, but powerless to escape. He owned them. When he gave an order they rose to do it. Some held up collapsed sections of walls, massing in these areas to support the ceiling. To prevent it collapsing. To prevent Her death. He had ordered it. Some were running around attached by a shadow, killing the maggots they discovered fleeing, attacking or even hiding. He had ordered it. He ordered it and they did it because he owned them. There was one thing he knew: he owned something it was his and he would take it back. They had taken Her and he would kill them all down to the last pitiful maggots egg.

There was something about the fact that they had taken Her that had made his blood boil with even more caustic anger than normal. He knew if they had attacked him or tried to take a familiar he wouldn't be half as enraged as he was at that moment. He might had even enjoyed the attempt and reveled in the challenge. There was a special acidity in his heart at the mere idea that they had taken her from him. To take her they had to put their hands on her. Kill them. But he also knew that she wasn't docile to this kind of treatment. She would have fought back meaning they would have had to injure her to subdue her. Rip them apart. There was a good chance they had hurt her in order to get information. Cremate them alive and scatter the disgusting ashes across the dining tables of their relatives.

Xxxxxx

She turn left. Dead end! She turned around and looked for signs, stairs, something. Shit! At this point she would risk an elevator! She went right and found herself at a cross hallway. Left, right or straight ahead? There were no signs... She went left. Maybe there was another staircase on the other side of the death trap. The ceiling above her rumbled and she put on a burst of speed. She heard it but didn't look back when a section of the ceiling collapsed behind her. She just kept running. Finally force to stop when she came to another intersection of hallways she looked for some signs. Seeing none she looked left and discarded it as an option. She chose straight ahead and went for it. Just in time too.

Paid erupted in the base of her skull and she fell forward while a great sound roared in her ears. The hallways were filling with dust as parts of the ceiling where she had been just a moment ago caved in, blocking the way behind. Disoriented and chocking on cement dust it took her a minute to get her bearings. She finally managed to drag herself up right and wheezed in air. Slightly dazed but just aware enough that the area was dangerous, she started forward.

Luck was on her side though as Seras's wobbly vision managed to get register a door with a picture of stairs. She blinked, trying to clear her head. Stairs... Stairs! She had found a pair a stairs and she was going to get out of here! She rushed forward and wrenched the door open. Water...

Her brain barely registered anything anymore as water ran down in a small waterfall on the stairs. There was a broken pipe shooting out the liquid. She shook. She shivered. To get out she would have to wade through the water. She would have to walk through that spout of water. She was so petrified she couldn't even move back to close the door. Water all around her. Couldn't breath...

Xxxxxx

The sting grew stronger, meaning he had found the source of the holy barrier. He sent his tendrils ahead and found a door. He broke it down and felt the holy aura wash over him. It was a rotting piece of wood, of all things. Sitting there on a pedestal was a chipped piece of wood. He set forth a tendril and began to burn it. It resisted for a moment but then it was alight and he could feel its influence draining away. There wasn't any holy barrier left and he could feel her.

He moved through the walls and floors down until he found her frozen at the door of a stairwell. She had a way to get free but wasn't taking it because it was slowly flooding. A new sort of anger blossomed in him. He had had enough of this. He moved down formlessly and picked her up. Naturally she didn't understand what was happening and started screaming for his help. Eventually she figured out it was him and began calling his name. He ignored her and waited until he reached the surface to recall his shadows. The entire structure began collapsing without his support.

Xxxxxx

Needed to get out... But the water... Needed out... But the water... Stairway her key to freedom... But... But the water!

That argument had been her main thoughts for a while now. She warred between terror and self preservation. Somehow without the possibility of betraying Alucard in the picture she had no bravery.

A black ichor flowed over her unexpectedly and she started screaming, struggling against it. It was useless, like hitting at air. Like fighting sha... Shadows? She paused. She tried speaking but no sound came out. She tried calling his name. Was this Alucard? This shadow creature was taking her somewhere. She had seen Alucard go through walls surrounded by a sort of liquid blackness.

Something was changing and she found herself out in daylight in his arms. She had never been more happy to see him then at that moment. Yet he looked rather displeased. This confused her but maybe it was just that he had to rescue her.

"Alucard?"

"Go to sleep Seras." She did feel rather tired all of the sudden. She yawned. She found her eyes drooping.

"It's you! Your doing this to me!" She accused him but the sleepiness had taken all the bite out of her words. He said nothing.

With her asleep he walked forward to the chopper and addressed his master. "Targets have been silenced master."

She nodded at him. "I'm pleased our arrangement still exists. We leave immediately. She needs medical attention."

Silently he climbed in but refused Walters offer to take her from him. He had already had her taken from him. He refused to allow it a second time from anyone, even Walter. He ignored the looks he got from Integra as the chopper rose into the the air. She was alive, he had her again and they were leaving this cesspit far behind. That was all he cared about.

Xxxxx

Yay! Finished this chapter! So I hope I get reviews. I get so few these days... Come on give me some reviews! Pweeeeeessseeeeeeeee?! I'm trying to finish this story before jan 20 2014. That means I Have less than three months to bang out twenty more chapters and finish the story.


	24. It Is My Nature

Whheeeeeeee! I've been tested and diagnosed! I am A.D.D of the inattentive type. Not sure I agree with- Oh look! Squirrel!

So many of you have been pming wondering when I'm going to continue writing my other stories. As soon as i finish one ill take up another and finish that one. Right now IKWYA is the most satisfying and the closest to being finished.

'I'm kinda getting annoyed at her fear of water now.' oh yeah? Well so is Alucard! Hee!

Xxxxxx

Seras was rarely nervous. Or rather... She was rarely nervous when it came to Alucard. Certainly he would always hold a vein of fear for her but she was certain that was normal. She had grown accustomed to certain habits and behaviors to expect around him. She also knew that as long as she was on her guard around him that he would only be able to take her by surprise fifty percent of the time. That was a lot of the time spent wondering what stunt he was going to pull next but at the same time she could count on him. Count on him being childish or serious, threatening or dangerous but not dangerous, at least, to her.

Here was an occasion where she became nervous.

After Agnes had a look at her, Seras felt relieved to discover that both her doctor, Mona, Maddis and everyone else was ok. Alucard said nothing though. He stood next to her the whole time and said nothing, refusing to move farther than an arms length apart. He didn't look angry but she got the distinct sense that storm clouds were brewing inside him. The only time when he moved at all or revealed any emotion was during the questioning Integra had for her. Seras had looked nervously at him for a reaction and told the Hellsing they had held her underwater for information. He looked rather angry at her for a moment and then it was gone. Integra however hadn't noticed and demanded Seras's full attention. She asked questions for a long time and then satisfied with the information, left. It got worse when soon after Agnes excused her saying she was fine but would have a goose egg for a few days.

Before she could stand and go spend time with Maddis and Mona, that black shadow from before covered her. Outraged but knowing the futility of a struggle she held still and let it happen until soon she was standing at a familiar table. He was already sitting on his throne, staring hard at her with a single candle lit. She opened her mouth ready for the usual spat, when he growled at her. One full of teeth. She shrank back from him wondering what the problem was. The glare he gave her was bewildering, like she had done something wrong in his eyes and was supposed to know what it was. She felt like she was taking a test she hadn't studied for.

"You froze." She flinched at the tone he used, like you could cut glass. Why had she imagined she would feel better when he spoke?

"'I froze'?" She squeaked back, hating that he made her loose all composure. He seemed infinitely more displeased by this, like she hadn't understood a simple thing.

"You froze. The door was open and you _froze_." She looked down feeling hot tears welling. She hated it too but he didn't have to act this way. She mumbled out that the water- but didn't get any farther then that word for things to become worse. She squeaked and flinched as his fist hit the arm of his chair, splintering it. "I don't give a damn about the water! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Heat filled her as she started to become angry. She raised her eyes not in compliance but to shout. Yet a single look from him quelled her like a guttered candle. Her idea of angry was weak to his rage. She felt her knees quake. How had she forgotten how fearsome this man could be?

"This is unacceptable. At first it was an annoyance that could provide amusement but it is quickly becoming more trouble than its worth!"

She wanted to shout back. She wanted to defend herself. She wanted to call him an insensitive prick for getting angry about her phobia. She also knew deep down that she could of and probably would have died back there if he hadn't come for her. She would have stood there rooted to the spot by fear while the building fell apart around her. She would have died because of three fucking inches of water. He stood and she was forced to look up. He looked at her in a way that was considering. She didn't like it.

"Alucard?" She whispered nervously.

Surprised, she yelled as he bent over and grabbed her around the middle, carrying her to a door in the corner she had never noticed before.

She struggled to escape, the moment she saw what they were walking towards. He sat and dragged her down with him. He pinned her to his lap in front of the pool of water. Her slight frame was trembling with fear and the intense desire to look away. He didn't let her. Her kept her focused on its still surface and color. Her breathing was shortening and he knew she was back in the river.

"Seras." She shivered violently. "Seras..." No response. "Seras! _Seras_! Look at me!" He snapped. Her eyes darted to him finally, looking wildly around every few seconds her breathing fast. "Stay _here_. Not there. You are _here_, safe, with me."

Alucard knew this would be the first of many times spent this way in front of water. He used his hands to stroke her shoulders and distract her from her fear. She didn't seem to register it at first, too wrapped up in the blue depths before her, but he knew she did eventually from the way she stiffened up in surprise at the gentleness of it. His other hand pulled her back towards him more firmly. He used that same hand to stroke her hair and specific pressure points.

It had been many years since he had learned it and several more since he had even bothered to practice it. Even with five minutes the effect was slow in combating her stress response. Little by little she relaxed against him. Then slowly her shivers gentled. Her hands maintained their death grip on his knees, as if the water would spontaneously develop a black hole and suck her in. He supposed getting her relaxed at all in its presence was progress enough. Talking would help too.

"I remember you saying you had never heard many fairytales."

It took a prolonged moment for her to respond. "Y-yes." Still stuttering from nerves.

"Would you like to hear one?"

She swallowed thickly and nodded. Anything to distract her he supposed. He picked the first one that came to his head. He kept his tone low and soothing. Newer, more pleasant memories with water needed to be made.

**"One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey and kept going until he reached a river. The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.**

**Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.**

**'****_Hello!_****' called the scorpion across the water, '****_Would you give me a ride on your back across the river?_****'**

**'****_How do I know that if I try to help you, you won't try to kill me?_****'**

**'****_Because, if I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim_****.'"**

**"Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. '****_What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!_****'**

**'****_This is true_****," agreed the scorpion, '****_But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river_****!'**

**'****_Alright then... But how do I know you won't just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?_****'**

**'****_Ahh_****...,' crooned the scorpion, '****_Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it_****?'**

**So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.**

**Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs. '****_You fool!' croaked the frog, 'Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?_****'**

**The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frogs back. '****_I could not help myself. It is my nature._****' "**

By the end of the story he knew he had succeeded. She was listening intently.

"That's a horrible story."

"Is it?" He asked, amused.

"Yes. His own instincts killed them both."

"And yet can you not see between the two of us whom the scorpion would would be?"

She was silent for a while. "You?"

"Perhaps in some ways yes but I believe in this one instance, it is you." She looked at him in disbelief and he cut her off sternly. "Understand this Seras. Your avoidance of water was deadly to you and could have cost you your life yesterday. The door was open but all it took was a few inches of water to hold you captive. If they had decided they no longer needed you you would have died and I would have disobeyed every order from my master to stand down. I would have killed them and been put to sleep for my disobedience. Fear can do much damage."

She said nothing and he let her think it over.


	25. The contest is afoot!

Seras was determined. She was sick of it too. Sick of her fear. She had a routine that involved her being brought to sit in front of that pool of water. She voluntarily walked every time... at least until she saw it. Then she felt herself lock up. From that point Alucard would help her move closer, sit, and then comfort her until he had her attention. Then she was told a story. He didn't always tell fairytales. Occasionally he told stories about his childhood. Seras started to learn much about Alucard in those times. Then later on she would wake up in her bed, wondering when she had fallen asleep in his arms.

It was so strange. She didn't feel all that frightened lately. Her hand shook when a glass of plain water was delivered but after a moment she managed to drink some. Even Maddis was helping her. He told her stories of the fun her mother had going swimming, assuring her she could have the same. He even bought her a swimsuit. She didn't know if she would ever get that far.

Xxxxxx

This time would be different. Seras was certain. Today she wouldn't freeze. She had told herself this many times before but she was absolute in this. No freezing. No becoming petrified popsicle Seras. What she didn't know is that she was right. She walked in through the door, saw it, shivered and forced herself to keep going. She sat down and kept her eyes on its still surface.

After two weeks of staring at her fears she had finally looked at it and gave it the proverbial middle finger. She was determined to never let it get the best of her like that ever again. She also didn't know that Alucard had been waiting for her to reach this point. He sat down behind her, pulled her on his lap and rather then telling her his customary story or fairytale... he did something very alarming. That black shadow from before converted her and aside from flinching out of shock rather then surprise she didn't resist.

When it was gone she did resist however. Instead of the jeans and a T-shirt she came in wearing, she was now in a bathing suit. His arms clamped around her to prevent escape. She shook and squirmed. However he surprised her by reaching for a large metal mixing bowl with some items inside she hadn't noticed earlier. There was a water pistol, a sponge, some water balloons and even a few yellow rubber Duckies. She stopped squirming. He chuckled at her confusion.

"Seras if I were to just toss you in the water, that would be two weeks of work, quite literally, down the drain. Given a chance, water can provide a great deal of amusement. Trust me."

He kept one arm around her, just in case, while the other emptied the bowl. He filled it with water from the pool and placed it in front of her. Next was him throwing the rubber duckies in the large pool of water. He put the water pistols in the bowl and filled them up. Next he handed one to her and kept one for himself. Still confused she looked at him questioningly. He looked back and seemed to understand that she didn't. He looked at a ducky floating in the water, raised a pistol and squirted water at it. It floated away a few inches. The sight was so ridiculous to Seras that she laughed out loud. For a person so dangerous and skilled with real guns, to raise a gun and just water comes out? It was too much.

So she laughed and raised her own and pulled the trigger. She missed. Frowning she tried again, this attempt also missing. His large gloved hands stopped her. He covered her hands and adjusted her grip and aim. He also leaned in closer with his lips brushing her ears. She nearly dropped it at the sensation which made her nerves tremble.

"Slowly and carefully aim. The barrel always needs to be higher than the target before you shoot. Once your certain your hands are steady, fire. You may need to know this one day for a real gun." Surprised he would say this she nearly looked away. "_No_. Keep focus. Enemies will not courteously stand still and wait for you if you should become distracted during a fight."

He removed his hands from hers and it took her a moment but she squeezed the trigger. To her delight it was a direct hit. So happy with her success she squeezed the trigger. She cursed when only a drizzle came out. It was empty. She offered it to him so he could refill it. Then she also realized the purpose of this little exercise when he refused to take it. She would have to refill it herself. Oh. That wasn't fair. Just when she had learned to aim! She looked at the bowl of water and reached out nervously. Shaking but determined not to let water keep her from what she wanted like the stairs, she plunged her hand and the pistol into the bowl.

She whimpered and shook, feeling suffocated. She grit her teeth and kept her focus. Water. It was just water. After a good long while she pulled her hand out. Still shaking from the experience it took her a moment to find her aim. Breath. Put the tip of the barrel just about the top of the target. Focus. She squeezed the trigger, gratified when she managed to hit the target. She got ready to shoot again. Just then his lips brushed her ear.

"Good work, Seras." Something about the deep, low tone he used turned her insides to ooze. Jittery from the sensation her aim was off and she hit nothing. She pulled away in surprise and clapped a hand over the offending ear.

"Don't do that!" Determined to get him back she grabbed a sponge from the water and mashed it in his face. She also realized something that had changed about him from the shadow. She gawked as she realized he was only wearing pants. Drips of water traveled down his muscled chest and she suddenly felt very flushed about being in his arms. He was almost smirking and she could have proved it too. If she had managed to pull her eyes away from his chest long enough to look at his face.

"What's the matter Seras? See something you like?"

Shaken by this experience, she looked away and immediately lied. "No!" Feeling suddenly uncomfortable in his arms she tried to jerk out of them and off his lap. His arms were immovable. Scowling she picked up the water gun, aimed and squeezed the trigger. The sooner she did her water exercise the sooner she could escape his arms that were making her all of the sudden very, very nervous.

Xxxxxx

Having seen and heard what she had, Mona was starting to reevaluate what she had decided before. She was finding herself forced to admit that maybe she had been wrong.

Seras, hydrophobic extraordenair, who had resisted all attempts by Mona to cure her for four years now, was showering. She was conscious, standing and behind the curtain by herself. They didn't need chloroform or mind control. Admittedly, she was frightened to be alone which is why her friend agreed to stand on the other side of the curtain, but she was conscious and not screaming. Seras drank plain water, with no food dye out of clear glasses, without prompting. Seras didn't scream in fear when it was spilled on her this morning by a clumsy soldier. Mona argued with herself and tried to find reasons to say 'no' but they were all feeble compared with the other reasons to say 'yes'.

Alucard had helped her conquer hydrophobia. Alucard was a murderous bastard. Alucard had saved Seras's life. Alucard was a murderous, arrogant bastard. Alucard had taught Seras to read. Alucard was a muderous, arrogant bastard with no conscious. Alucard seemed to care and would protect Seras to the ends of the earth. Alucard was a self-centered, arrogant, murderous bastard with no conscious and the moral compass of a sociopath... and he was good for Seras...

What a prick!

She'd need to think it over but it seemed that she would have to speak with him again and admit she had been wrong. He would be gloating for weeks.

Fuck.

Xxxxxx

I know, I know. I'm only doing tiny little chapters with only a little in them. But I promise that the bigger stuff is coming. Hmmm... Maybe I should have misspelled that word just for fun. Anyways I'm working on the AxS part of the story that so far has been absent. I view these Axs stories to come in certain stages.

1. Seras terrified thinks he will hurt her

2. Seras scared uncertain

3. Seras uncertain confused

4. Seras tentatively friendly uncertain

5. Seras friendly happy to see him

6. Seras nervous to see him unknowingly falling for him

7. Seras happy to see him fallen for him misses him when gone, possibly aware or denies her feelings

8. Seras happy to see him aware of her emotions for him

At least that's how I view the typical axs story. So far in IKWYA the romance has really been blink-you-miss-it ninja style with Seras really unaware. I'm mapping it up turning it into the sixth stage. Yay. So I'm going to totally have fun with that but I got to find a way to have that while still keeping these other things going. There's also a reader who has been born on Jan 21 who I want to finish this story for by then. Happy birthday! ... What am I saying?! It's not even New Years yet!

I also have a confession to make... I'm at a loss for what this chapters title should be which is a first, believe me. So a contest proposal. Whoever gives me the best chapter title before I post the next one gets it featured.

-HWKFT


	26. Hypnotism, Illness And Connivery

Sniffles... Amazingly even after 2 weeks no ones taken me up on my challenge to create a title for my poor chapter. *loving pats chapter* it's ok... I'm sure someone out there will come up with something... I hope...?

Xxxxxx

When Seras next opened her eyes it wasn't the darkness of her makeshift bedroom in Alucard's room that she had expected to see, or rather, not see. She was in a blindingly bright white room with all sorts of bleepity-noised machines. As any person unaccustomed to waking up in places they didn't go to sleep in can tell you, it is a very disorientating experience. As she came more awake she became aware of other more alarming clues. She was wearing an oxygen mask. There was another one of those coatrack-on-wheels for chemicals and an I.V in her arm. She was exhausted and thirsty. The only conclusion was that she had become sick again.

She would have sighed irritably if it weren't for the fact that the oxygen mask was the only thing helping her breath. She thought she had been doing so well. She had been having the special chocolates that Madddis gave her everyday. She hadn't been ill in three whole weeks! Three! That was nearly a whole month! She should have known it wouldn't fix everything. The only time she had missed her 'dose' was when those people took her. It couldn't have been as simple as that could it? It couldn't be! She had immediately started up again afterwards. Miss on a single dose and she was out of breadcrumbs? Absurd! Yet it was the only thing she could think of to explain it.

She flicked her eyes left. Aware of a dark shadow behind the curtain she guessed that only that looming height could be Alucard. There was a shorter man she could hear him talking to. Probably a doctor. She wished she could hear what they were talking about but they were whispering. She tried to talk, to gain the attention she felt she deserved as the sick person, but her voice failed her. She tried again but only failed. She couldn't speak.

_Rotten luck_, she thought with disgust.

As an alternative source of stimulation she looked at the silhouettes. Eventually some sort of agreement or change happened in the conversation as they began talking in audible tones again. Probably just in time to miss all the details. It also seemed Alucard was using quicker methods to get information than Integra would like. Seras figured it out pretty quick by the train of the conversation that came about next, plus the almost slurred tone of voice was a clue.

"No worries Ma'am. Your son will be just bicycle."

"Leave."

"Ok Grandpa." The poor man sounded almost dreamy as she heard him close the door.

The curtain opened and there he was towering above her. _He's too tall_, she complained internally as she tried to force her tired self to look him in the face. She saw his chin and then as he sat, finally his face. For once his usual smirk or grin was absent. He looked grim and that had her worried. She tried to reach for her oxygen mask so she could try to speak but she was too weak to move.

"There's no need Seras. Think it and I will hear you. I think in this instance you will make an allowance."

_Ok_. She decided that it wasn't so bad in this case if he was reading her mind. It was useful. She also felt all around too tired to fight about much of anything. _I'm fucking sick again aren't I?_ She was sulking and resigned to the total suck of her situation.

For a moment his old humor had him make a small laugh.

"Yes. I was fast asleep. I didn't know. Walter came to deliver your breakfast and heard your wrist monitor beeping."

_Oh damn, I had hated that thing. Now I suppose I have to act happy about it? Also, why can't I talk?_

"No. I'm pretty sure you can go on hating it. Your throats too dry and your lungs are too weak."

_Goodie. What about that guy though? He sounded seriously fucked up._

Another small laugh. "Side effect. It happens if you continuously hypnotize the same person repeatedly."

This surprised her. _What?! You've done this a bunch to that poor man?!_

"Seras, I need to monitor your situation. I need to know how advanced your condition is. Besides, it will eventually wear off." He smiled like he was resisting laughter. "Much sooner too if he stops refusing to tell me willingly."

She almost felt outrage on that poor mans behalf but wasn't willing to spend much energy on it. His words also brought the sobriety of her situation back to focus. She felt almost depressingly calm as she asked him.

_Not good huh?_

"No."

_How long?_

"Two weeks, if we are generous."

She blinked, nearly tearing up. That short span of time was her life? Two weeks? Two?! And that was if he were generous! _So that's it then? I'm going to die?_

She wasn't looking at him but she could sense the change in his demeanor. He was almost hesitant, an uncharacteristic quality in him.

"Seras... Do you remember what I told you?" She blinked and turned to him.

_What?_ She was confused. He just seemed patient. Like he was explaining a fact to a younger person. He probably was.

"Do you remember what I told you? Did you fully understand _everything_ when I explained to you your condition?"

She looked away. She remembered. She also had been trying to forget. Two weeks before the sun was gone and normal food was a memory? Drinking blood had been a subject she had forcibly ignored, thinking she had ages before she had to face her future. Now she realized she had so little time. Such little time.

_I remember. Is there nothing that can be done?_

"There is something." She looked at him, wondering if she should hope. "I could change you."

After a moment she realized with horror what he meant. Weakly she tried to scoot away from him, failing to verbalized her protests. His firm grip grabbed her shoulder, holding her still. Alarmed she tried harder. His other hand grabbed her leg under the knee. She was pinned.

"Seras! Enough!" She blinked at him, startled. He sounded so frustrated. "Do you really think I would turn you against your will? Truly? I want you as my fledgling, not as my prisoner."

After a moment she relaxed. She didn't want this but he wouldn't force her. There was something about him at the moment that also made her disturbed. This offer he gave her sounded so strange to her. She had the feeling that he rarely changed people.

_Why?_

"Why you? Again and again for centuries I have seen humans not worth the ground they stood on. It is not enough to have just potential. You must also have the character and strength to be worth it. I have searched a long time for someone with your potential and strength of will Seras. You have all the qualities I would want in a fledgling. You fight back. You are defiant. You have potential. You are strong. Why indeed."

She shook her head frantically. _No. **No**, I don't want **this**. I don't want to be that._

"I warn you to not be so hasty in turning down my offer Seras."

_No! No, I don't want-_

"Me to change you. Even though you will change anyways?" She stiffened at the reminder. "Don't forget this Seras. You will change even if I was not part of that. It _will_ happen."

It took a lot of energy out of her but she managed to role over and turn her back to him. She couldn't take this. This was too much. She didn't know whether to be sad or angry or scared over this.

_Please leave_. She told him.

"Ser-"

_I said** 'go'!**_

After a minute she peeked behind her and was grateful to realize he had gone. Right then she didn't feel like any of the things that he said she was. She cried until she was asleep.

Xxxxxx

"How is she?"

"I- I don't think I can tell-"

"Oh you don't do you?" She narrowed her eyes at the man. "Shall I tell your supervisor you were asleep when I came in here?"

"But I wasn't-"

"Yes, but _he_ doesn't know that and from the sound of things it's happened before. It won't be that hard to believe. Now tell me how she is!"

It was bullying and Mona knew it.

The poor intern was only a year younger than her and clearly trying to pay for med school. He had that twitchy bunny look about him. It was almost like bullying a puppy. She felt bad about it but if he was going to be difficult then so was she.

"Well um..." Clearly disconcerted by the stronger personality staring him down he lost composure and all medical knowledge along with it.

She sighed. "Tell me what you know and work from there." Almost like talking to a drill sergeant from medical land he began rattling off a list longer than her arm. It didn't paint a nice picture.

"Kidney failure, necrotic tissue, low white cell count and low blood pressure."

Horrified by this, she asked the question that would make her world spin when answered. "What does this mean for her?"

He almost continued in that siryessir voice but then caught himself. "I'm sorry."

She wanted to cry as she realized what he was telling her. "But she was doing so well... She was fine for- for..."

He didn't seem frightened or nervous. Just sympathetic. His voice low and soothing. Sadly he must be accustomed to delivering bad news.

"Her condition had plateaued for about three weeks, something that was a godsend in her case. But it didn't stop the progression, it just masked the symptoms. Her health is now rapidly declining. There is not much we can do. She has so little time now. Perhaps we can make her more comfortab-"

"No!" She didn't know where to look or what to do. She was sad and angry. "No! You can fix her! You can-"

"That's _enough_ Mona." She looked at the stern face of Walter, not knowing when he had entered the room. "You may go Wood." He mumbled his condolences and stumbled out of the room fast. Walter turned to her and just stared.

"It isn't true." She stated.

He raised those eyebrows. "Isn't it?"

She wiped her nose on her sleeve and sniffed. "Those bastards know she isn't human so they won't treat her. All they need to do is their jobs. She is going to be fine. She's always fine."

He turned from her and started reading from a chart. "Kidney failure in both sides. That means her own bodies toxins aren't being flushed out. Blood pressure that is too low for dialysis, we can't flush her clean with a machine. Necrotic flesh that had been thought removed in a prior surgery is back and is spreading to the liver and lungs. Low white blood cell count means her immune system is too weak to fight back the sepsis and other two infections attacking her body from different areas. Meanwhi-"

"_Shut up!_" She screamed."_Shut up! She is **fine!**_"

He threw the chart to the ground. "Fine with multiple organ failure? I need to to come to your senses Simona Mihal." She couldn't have been more speechless. "Yes, I _know_. Don't imagine I wouldn't find out."

She didn't know if it was her full name or the anger she had lost from her hands that had kept her from it, but she burst into tears. Anger had helped her hold to denial. With it gone she had no choice but to look at the truth. She sank to the ground in despair. Seras was dying. Walter knew her secret. She didn't know what was going to happen. A pair of arms encircled her. She sobbed harder.

"The doctors are doing their jobs."

"I know."

"It's not their fault."

"I know."

"She's dying?"

"Yes."

"I'm going to be deported?"

"No."

She stiffened. "No?" She threw her arms around him. "Thank you! Thankyou!"

She was an illegal alien in this country and he wasn't deporting her! But with that worry out of the way it just left her angry and scared for her friend. Seras was dying. Wait, no. Her friend was changing. It was that grim truth that helped her. She disentangled herself from Walters arms, wiped her eyes and set of for the person who could save her friend.

Xxxxxx

Mona had never gone down to the lower levels save the few times she had needed to help Seras bathe. Even then it was the third door you came to on the first flight of stairs. She had never any interest or compulsion to look further. Generally she avoided the Halloween freak show she was certain slept further down the halls in the daytime. Aside from certain occasions and the interest he showed in Seras, Mona was disinterested in him. It had always seemed that the feeling was mutual. He had captured the exact spirit of that sentiment before even five minutes had passed after first meeting him: a dhampir is _always_ more interesting.

Now she was walking down a hallway with a flashlight having passed the washroom five minutes ago. This was the second flight of stairs she had descended. She was beginning to wonder how big this place was and if she should of brought a map, when she saw it. Like something out of a satanic movie, there was this old steel door with some sort of pentagram on it. Even her nerves were slightly shaken at the idea it could be dried blood. She shook her head. This was certainly not the time to become the dumb blond from a teen horror film.

She forced her feet forward and hesitated. Did she knock? Was it locked? Was this even his room? Only one way to find out. She pushed on it hard. It barely budged. Heavy door. She tried again with no luck. Damn. She could ask Walter? Then the door swung outward slightly with a menacing creek all on its own. The hinges whining in protest from a lack of use. Shit. This was the part where the idiot decides to investigate the creepy noise they heard. Right before they become an gut omelette. She grit her teeth. He was trying to scare her, wasn't he? She turned sideways and slid through the gap.

She shined her flashlight and scanned the room. It was bigger than she thought and the light after ten feet became much dimmer. At least she could see she was on the landing of a staircase. It was a relief that she could see the steps. She did not want to break her neck trying to find him in the dark. She saw a small curtained area where Seras must sleep but nothing else. Aside from opening the door with his freakiness, he hadn't volunteered his whereabouts and didn't seem to be about to. She had just about enough of this bullshit.

"Look you arsewipe! Come out and talk with me or I'm leaving! You know why I'm here or you wouldn't have bothered opening the door at all!"

She heard him chuckling and a few candles flickered with light. She flinched. With them so far apart from each other and him, that she could now see, she knew there was no way he could have light them by mundane methods. Creepo. He sat on a chair that was high backed enough to be considered a throne and the arrogant sod lounged on it like one. She clicked off her flashlight and made her way down the stairs to speak with him. She was standing too far away from him at the top and while that felt safe being so high up away from him and near the exit, it also showed fear.

Any show of weakness meant that he would toy with her and this conversation would go off track fast as he would start to torment her for fun. It was almost disturbing to her that she understood these parts of him so well. It was just as well because she would need this advanced understanding of him if she were to make this go well. While she was certain their one common interest was the same, the kind of interest he had wasn't entirely wholesome like hers was. She needed details if she were to help him cooperate.

She came and stood evenly, tall and only a foot from his knees. She looked him in the eyes dead on, refusing to look away. After a moment he raised his chin, as if acknowledging her assumed position of equal. She knew in his eyes that perhaps she would never be equal but it seemed he was willing to humor her. With him, who could ever know? Maybe it was her willingness to stand strong so close to him that had finally earned some respect.

"You had something you wanted to say to me?" The calm tone was a sign that perhaps he would take what she had to say seriously. A good start.

"Maybe, but first I need to know, in better detail, your plans for Seras."

He narrowed his eyes. "Her imminent death worries you." He stated.

She nearly lost her temper and composure at the almost casual way he mentioned it. Parts of her didn't know how to handle that kind of loss and wanted to deny the possibility. She took a deep breath. Common interests, even if the endgame was somewhat different. Don't loose it, play that card and everything will go fine. She raised her chin slightly and kept her voice even. It taxed her heavily in emotions to be able to respond just as casually.

"Yes. The doctors say that if she holds up she will last two weeks. I'm more interested in how we will keep her alive after two weeks."

He seemed to catch the implication rather quick and he leaned forward with interest. "You suggest I change her?" After a moment he seemed almost disappointed. He leaned back and spoke in anger. "Leave."

Almost outraged by the outright dismissal he gave her when confronted by the one thing he said he had wanted, it was only her curiosity that kept her from loosing her focus. "Why?" His eyes like gimlets that almost made her shiver in the unnatural glow and intensity pinned her to the spot. She didn't back down. She persisted. "_Why_?"

"I have already made my offer to her. She will not even see me, much less let me change her."

This surprised Mona. "_What?_ That's _**it?!**_ You're giving up after _one_ try?!"

Now it was his turn to be surprised. "I have not given up."

"What?" She was now just confused.

"I am waiting for the right moment to act. I am monitoring the chaos of her thoughts, the nightmares of her dreams. This news frightens her and I will use that to my advantage. It wears on her will." This time Mona shivered at the darker side he was displaying. The connivery of it all. "Right now she is stubborn. Determined. Anything to avoid her fate. Soon though, she will realize that its useless and she will change no matter what. Her desperation will become fear and in the end, she will choose me."

Nervous, as she realized the sort of ruthless person she was facing she had no choice but to remain calm. She couldn't afford to freak out. It was a horrible, clever plan combining elements of psychological warfare, taking advantage of a terminally ill persons fear and personal knowledge. Worse was that Mona knew this, the kind of person he was, and she _still_ had to hand him Seras. It was her friends only chance. He hands shook and she felt almost sick doing this.

"And if I offered to help?" He fixed those horrible red holes on her as if he had never seen her before. "Do not get me wrong. Right now... what you just described... makes me sick. _You_ make me sick! It's... It's unspeakable... but I also know that you're the only chance she has. Those doctors can't do anything. I have to swallow my distaste."

Finally his old self appeared. He smiled in amusement, as if vastly entertained by the sight of her. "I am honored." He drawled sardonically. "And what would you propose we do?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You've yet to answer my first request. I need three questions answered before I work with you."

He scoffed. "I suppose you think I won't succeed without you. Or do you intend to let her die out of spite?"

"Don't shit with me! She won't die! You said it yourself. She will 'change'. In your plan she will turn to you to avoid changing on her own but in my case you say she will die?! You can't have it both ways just to suit you."

"Very well. Would you really let her change on her own? Because I didn't let you have your way?"

"Yes. She is strong. She can handle it. I, Maddy and Walter will help. Even _you_ will help because you want to score with her."

She stared right back as he tried to intimidate her into backing down. She refused. In this she was adamant. After another solid minute he seemed to reach a decision. "Very well. What must I do?"

"What are your plans for Seras? Be detailed." There was an almost evil glint in his eye and after a moment she knew he was about to intentionally misinterpret her request. What a pig! "And don't play games. I am serious and you will be too if you are serious about her."

"I want her as a mate."

There was so many things wrong with that she didn't know where to start. "What are you?! An animal?!"

"Would you be surprised if I said 'yes'?"

"Ugh!"

"You aren't viewing this properly. You need to understand that vampires live forever. We rarely take mates, choosing temporary companions for company and sex. Mates are permanent. To us, a mate is far more binding than the weak and fleeting vows of human marriage. This is no idle whim on my part. To take her as my mate I am saying that I will spend the rest of my existence with her. A mate is not someone you take and leave after a few years. They are for life. To me, Seras is the perfect human to choose as my mate. With her I will want nor need no other."

Well _damn_. That was almost romantic for him. She knew that he had no reason to lie. He didn't need too. She felt a little calmer now that she knew he wasn't talking about some primal fuckfest with her innocent friend. She took a breath.

"I'm glad to hear that your serious about my friend, that this wouldn't be just some fling. However, I don't think Seras is ready right now for that sort of thing."

"I know. For now I am trying to make her my fledgling. I can wait years until she is ready. She must be comfortable with _me_ before I can get her comfortable with that sort of relationship."

"Good."

"Have I satisfied your demands?"

This was the harder part. It was a very black mood she felt as she had to remember the shame and sadness. "Not quite. There's _one_ more thing. I've seen what she is like with you. You are good for her. I don't know how I could help with this but I will, on one condition."

"Yes?"

"Rosy. Get her to talk to you about Rosy and I will help you. I've been trying for years and even I can't do it."

"So you think I won't be able to? You intend to give me an impossible task?"

Bitter truths often hurt the tongue and showed pettiness if the person lied. "No... No, I think you will succeed where I haven't. With you she seems to be willing to talk about and do all the things she isn't willing to do or talk about when I try."

"Quite an admission coming from you." His eyes were _almost_ glittering with interest and smugness. She _almost_ needed to punch him for it. "Whom, may I ask, is this Rosy? I've heard this name before from Seras but never when she thought I would hear it."

"She is someone you will have to learn about from Seras." Mona responded firmly. With almost childish glee he threw something she had tried to hide for years in her face for the second time that day.

"So I have heard, Simona."

Gaping, she felt the last straw being pulled and her composure disappear. "You eavesdropping twit! You good-for-nothing cuntface! You- you fucking little childish leech! I can't even... I mean words cannot describe- just-just- Fuck!" Even her fingers were clenched around an imaginary neck.

He laughed openly. "Walter has been a good servant to my master. He has been looking for your name and history this whole time."

Her outburst had done wonders for her and she had managed to calm down some. "You won't leave me alone until I tell you?" He smiled.

"Fine. My dad and mom immigrated over from Constanta, Romania. My father was a politician part of a previous regime that ended violently. They managed to get out and they came here. They had me. But my father wasn't happy. He never got a job that lasted. No one wanted to deal with him. Something about being forced out made him a bitter and angry man. He started drinking. He stopped coming home for days on end. He spent all their savings on hookers and beer and when that was gone he started on my college fund. My mom fell into a deep depression and started drinking too. Then immigration came saying they might deport them, me along with them. I left. I haven't been back since. There. Happy?"

"Perhaps. You've yet to tell me the third thing."

Angry, she snarled at him. "That fucking ship sailed without you. Best two out of three though!"

He said nothing and she turned around stiffly and went for the stairs.


	27. The Rosiest Lies

She saw him again the next morning. The tension in her had risen at his presence. She only had just now managed to push away her troubles when he showed his face. Would he press her again to change? Would he pressure her into having to face her problems then and there? She didn't know if she could handle that right then. She was able to talk now. A relief if anything. To her surprise he sat in a folding chair on her right and requested to hear a story from her.

"What?" She blinked.

"I want to hear a story of your life."

Puzzled by the unexpected turn in conversation she couldn't think of anything but-

"Why?" He just stared and she sighed. He was in one of those moods again where he would demand something from her and she was SOL until she gave him what he wanted. After a moment she found one to tell.

"When I was younger, maybe seven, there was this old bakery. Whenever I didn't have enough food I would go near that shop. The old lady who ran it would always give me a free apple turnover hot from the oven. It was nice. I didn't have anyone taking care of me much around that time. I was scruffy and probably dirty much of the time. All the other shopkeepers would run me out as soon as they looked at me. But she was nice. She gave me treats." It was with a slight pang that she remembered the next part. "One day I went to get my free pasty but she wasn't there. I found out she had died two days before. I don't think I ever even knew her name. She was my first experience with death, I think."

She fell silent. It had been ages since she had thought about the kindly woman who had given her hot food whenever she dropped by. She jerked up as he began to speak. The nature of what he was saying was incredibly personal. She felt somewhat honored that he would share such things.

"I had many wonderful things in my immortality before I met Abraham Van Hellsing. I was king to many vampires. I had a castle and many beautiful mountains surrounding me. The forest stretching out for many leagues that I could walk through. When he came, we met in battle and fought. I had underestimated him in my self pride. He and his men laid waste to my subjects, burnt my forest and castle, and I lay at his feet. I was defeated. He imprisoned me to his bloodline."

She had listened to this in horror. That sounded... "That's... I can't even imagine."

He inclined his head and she realized they were swapping stories. She scrambled to think of something. She wanted to hear more about him. He shared so little about himself that an opportunity to learn anything was not something to pass by.

"I hadn't always been afraid of water. I think the river laid the foundation for it later in life but it wasn't until I was about ten that I started to fear it. I had met this boy. Simon was his name and his mother was an addict. As a result he spent all of his time outside. We met in the park when I was nine. Simon took me home and it became my home too. I had a roof and whatever food that was lying around. We were best friends." She frowned at how her happier memories all had a dark turn to them as she recalled what was next. She was quieter and more subdued.

"Because his mom spent all her time in a haze from whatever she was on she was barely aware I existed. One night though, she came home from some bender she had been on. I was terrified. We had been playing hide and seek and I was hiding in the closet. She-she grabbed him. I was watching from the crack in the closet. She kept screaming at him, wanting to know where her stash was. He didn't know. She dragged him out of the room. I remember hearing the bathtub running. He was screaming." She took a deep breath. "And then there was silence. I was too frightened to come out. I stayed in there all night." She was crying." Then I found-I found him in the bath tub the next morning. At first I just avoided it because it reminded me of what I'd seen but more and more I was getting frightened to be near it. Then one day being near it was like being underwater."

Her voice was cracking at this point. She stopped and tried to regathering herself. After a few minutes he started speaking but she was grateful that he had given her time to recover.

"I have had many masters since my enslavement to the Hellsing bloodline but the one I remember most is Integra's father. He was mostly worthy of my services. I had always thought him soft, unwilling to do what was necessary. Yet it was this perceived weakness I had of him that in the end finally garnered him my respect. It was 1955 at the height of the blitzkrieg during the Second World War. London was being bombed nightly. Food was being rationed. People left the city or died in droves. The war was at a turning point and could go either way. Integra's father, Arthur, was desperate. He sent me out numerous times to silence the enemy.

One night though, he summons me to his office. I'm to go across enemy lines into Germany and infiltrate an enemy base. I, Walter and-"

"Walter?!" She gasped. Walter had been in World War Two?! He must be very old then. She just couldn't picture him young. It was like trying to imagining gigantic midgets or miniature giants.

"Yes, Walter." He looked mildly amused at her disbelief but the tone suggested that she should not interrupt him again. She stifled her questions.

"We had been ordered to sneak onto an enemy base in Germany, gather as much information as possible and kill as many soldiers as possible in the process. Someone trustworthy in the eyes of my master though lied and reported that I had made a deal with the enemy. He didn't want to believe it but Arthur Hellsing was no fool. He knew I didn't respect him and that I barely tolerated him as a master. He sealed me away to sleep until my next master would come along. With the war at a gray area the future of London was uncertain. Men were being sent out to fight. He knew that without me on the battlefield his men could die and the war could be lost. While it was that softness, that weakness that allowed him to be fooled... It was also that weakness that finally caused me to finally gain respect for him. Arthur had finally been willing to do the difficult thing, the necessary thing."

She was awed at his story. Just when she thought she knew him, something else came along and morphed the picture.

"I have to admit I don't know if I can top that story."

"And what about Rosy?"

Her heart monitor spiked and her insides crumbled slightly at the name. What? How did he- Where did he hear that name?! She managed to recover herself slightly but her voice still shook.

"I know no one by that name." She lied.

"I am quite certain that you do."

"I do not know anyone by the name of Rosy. This game isn't fun anymore. Please leave."

She was momentarily relieved when he stood, thinking he was complying with her request. Instead he walked to the door... and locked it. Her heart monitor sang shrilly for a couple of seconds. He came back to her bedside and sat in the chair, pulling it closer to her. Her insides ached at the idea of what he was going to force her to do. This was something she had run from for so long.

"Seras... You run from so many things. You have run from water and your illness and you have run from me. You run so fast that it nearly breaks you when these things catch up. It's time to stop running. Tell me who Rosy is."

She remained silent.

"I daresay I can come everyday, asking. I'm not very good at waiting Seras. I sometimes wait for things for years but when I want something I find myself rather impatient. Don't take too long or I may just explore your mind for the story."

Her hands shook. She felt so acidic and jittery. This was too much. She gasped in air, trying to calm down. Tears were brimming. Her voice was hoarse with so much emotion.

"**I_ hate_ you**."

"That's fine." The look in his eyes was strange, like he knew something she would only learn years down the road.

It took her ten minutes to recover enough to begin speaking. Then she took another few to wipe away her tears. She felt even a little better that he had given her that much.

"I-I guess I could start at the beginning. I met Mona when I was eight. We stuck together more out of a need to survive than for fun those days. We met only occasionally, when we needed something. It wasn't until I was twelve that I started to become really sick that Mona and I became closer. She took care of me. We met more often. There was this house where junkies gathered. It was as good a place as any for my sickness. No one would ask questions. I started sleeping at odd hours and wasn't able to sleep during normal ones. So I would take night walks until I was tired enough to go back to sleep."

Her breath hitched unevenly. "Then I met her. Ro_sy_..." She worked to make her words normal. "Rosy was seven years old and an orphan. She was in the garden of St. Jude's orphanage when we met and crying her eyes out. I talked with her and she told me how she hated it there. How she wanted her mom and dad. How the adults were all mean to her. I don't even know what I was thinking exactly. All I remember was thinking she was like me. Alone and frightened. I didn't even expect her to say 'yes' when I offered. She came with me."

"Mona freaked when she found out. She kept insisting that Rosy couldn't stay. _'Its not safe_' she kept repeating. _'Its not **safe**_'. I insisted it was fine. She just kept saying 'it's not safe'. But we kept her with us anyways. After a few days even Mona like Rosy. She disapproved and from time to time would insist we take her back but in the end I would win. She didn't have it in her heart to take that little girl back. We both loved little Rosy so much. We brought her clothes and would do her hair. Whenever we went out stealing we would send her to the park to play until we were done. Whenever I was sick we would give her toys and have her play on the stoop out front of the house. We would tell her to stay there and play. She never disobeyed."

Seras's breath shook as she got to the harder parts.

"What Mona never told me... what she_ really_ meant when she said 'it wasn't safe' was that I had a new symptom. 'It wasn't safe' really meant that _**I** wasn't safe_. I would get these fevers, pass out and start becoming violent. I had already tried to hurt my best friend several times and I would wake up without even knowing what had happened." Crying heavily she kept talking. It was like she couldn't stop herself.

"And then Rosy got curious." She felt some small iota of watery laughter escape her. A hybrid of a chuckle and a sob.

"She just wanted to know what we were always doing inside while she was on the porch every few weeks. Mona had left just for a few minutes to get wet clothes for my fever. Rosy had come up to me while I was out... and... I _bit_ her! I _bit Rosy_... Like I was an animal! Mona came in time and kept me from hurting her even further. She sent Rosy upstairs and bandaged her arm. She came down and waited until I was better. She told me the truth. I cried because I knew it was time to end my selfishness. The truth was that I just wanted a little sister who could look up to me. We had to take her back. She couldn't stay."

"We went upstairs and Rosy seemed afraid of me. As she should have been." She bitterly spat. "Then someone strange happened. Rosy collapsed. She fell down like she was choking and couldn't breath. We panicked. We didn't know what to do. She was turning blue. She wasn't moving or breathing. She started moving again. We were so relieved she was alive we didn't question _why_ she hadn't regained her color or why she wasn't talking. It was her eyes though that clued us in. Like little blue pits of emptiness. There was nothing there. We tried talking but she wasn't responding. And she tried to bite Mona. She just kept coming at us. It was like we just knew the... The _thing_ we were looking at wasn't our Rosy anymore."

She was abnormally strong. I managed to pull her off Mona but then she was after me. Mona wasn't quite thinking. She took a board and tried to knock Rosy out but I was moving too much. She missed and hit Rosy in the head. She... She disintegrated. Like some sort of pile of ash. It wasn't until later that I realized... I knew... _I_ had done that... _I_ had bitten her and turned her into that_ thing_... _**I** had done that to her_... **_I had killed Rosy_**!"

The grief was too much and she felt her form roll and shudder with tears. She stiffed as his arms went around her but then she collapsed into him. If she had not been full of so much emotion right then, she would have wondered when Alucard's embrace had become so soothing and comforting.


	28. Permanence, Blackmail And Fishnets

She had done that to Rosy. _She_ had done that. She had stolen everything from that little girl with one bite. No. No more lies. She had stolen everything the minute she had selfishly offered to take in that girl. _Take in_. What a lie. 'Take in' implied she had the ability to take Rosy in somewhere and provide for her. She had never had a place to 'take in' anyone. She had had no right to 'take in' Rosy. The streets were no place for a child. Where Rosy had belonged was where Seras had found her- at the orphanage where she would either grow up happily and be taken care of or be adopted and taken care of even more happily.

Either way Rosy would have had a beautiful future had she not stolen it from her out of selfishness and vanity. She still couldn't believe how stupid she had been. Rosy had a chance to do something girls like her played at but never really got. A future. To grow up in a house. To have real adults make breakfast, scold her for misdeeds and someone to tuck her in at night. Oh sure she and the others saved all that money to buy a house but how would they keep food on the table afterwards? Keep stealing?!

She cried in shame, in sadness and in guilt. Parts of her felt worse because she there were small spots of herself that were crying for her situation instead of feeling remorse for what she had done. She was still so selfish! Hadn't she learned anything?! How could she possibly still have the right to think of herself right then?

"What do you want?" She stared at him wordlessly, surprised that he had asked in such a situation. Surprised he had asked at all. No one had ever asked that and truly wanted to hear what she had to say. When she remained silent he continued. "You're drifting Seras. You have experienced too much grief lately. You are stuck fast in guilt and grief and fear. Find a goal to strive for. Center yourself so you can move beyond this. Think hard and then tell me: What is it you want _most_?"

He hovered over her, like a king lording over her misery and taking pity. She wouldn't look him in the eye. She refused to speak. She just felt empty. But his question had struck a chord in her, burrowing deep and eating at her. She couldn't help but think of the answer and her traitorous mouth did the rest without her permission.

"I want..." She started and failed, trying to find the words to sum up her desires.

"I want..." she cursed her inability to know what she wanted. Or voice them. She finally managed to pick the first one that came to mind. "

I want them back. I want to eat with Mona or lay on the sleeping bags. I know it's screwed up because I'm sick and a danger and-and the sleeping bags were nine kinds of gross. But they were my family and that was my home."

He stared at her. "And that's what you really want most? Truly?"

She felt the tears sting at her eyes and her fists pressed at her temples angrily. He kept his arms around her.

"No! No! I want her to look at me and not have to worry that she thinks I'm a monster because of Rosy! I want to sit at the fire with everyone else! I-I-I want- I want to go outside and not feel ill because it's a sunny day! I want to look at bright light and not be blinded from it! I want to fall sick because it's a common cold and not me becoming some monster! I want to sleep normally like everyone else! I want to go to bed at night and-and wake up in the morning not feeling tired! I want to feel hungry for normal food! I want to get a cut on my finger and not be able to smell it! I want to be normal! I want to have to stop checking the mirror to see if my irises are changing color or if my skins looking paler yet. I'm tired of counting the days between when I was last sick and when I am feeling sick! I'm tired of feeling terrified because the number of days between when I was last sick and am now becoming sick are smaller!"

The tears were hot and thick now and she couldn't seem to be able to stop the torrent that came from her mouth. He just listened.

"I want the option to be human! I am scared because I am always worried when that option will be taken from me! I want to go to school! I want to make a friend that isn't a prostitute, runaway or some bookkeeper for illegal fights! I want to be able to get a job! I want to be able to write an address on a job resume that isn't a warehouse, a pawnshop or some government run military base! I want to stop feeling so stupid because I can hardly read a children's picture book without difficulty! I want to stop stealing to make a living! I want to know that stealing or fist fighting are not the only things I'll ever be good at! I want to remember my mothers face instead of looking at photographs! I can shower and drink now but I am still so frightened of water sometimes that I can scarcely breath! I'm tired of looking at a stupid bathtub in fear! I want to go swimming! I'm tired of loosing my friends or opportunities or even the option of where I am going to sleep!"

She panted, out of breath. She sputtered some unintelligible noises for a moment, trying and failing to think or say anything else.

Finally, after an extended silence, he replied. "Very good. I will help you. However, I think there's something you want more than those things and you've yet to say it. What is it? What do you truly want more than anything?"

Finally it came to her and a sort elated calm came to her. Her humanity... Her right to choose who and what she was. Her home, the warehouse... Her way of life... Mona... Maddox... Willard... Verona... A sense of safety... Her own ability to know what to expect... All of these had been stolen from Seras or deprived of her in some way or another. Was there nothing in her life that she could keep and hold on to? The calmness and the voicing of her desires gave her a full sensation filled with purpose. Yet made her realize how much had been taken from her and left her feeling utterly blank. There was a sense of complete conviction. Yet the filling sensation left her feeling hollow. Her arms crossed over her chest protectively, as if to fill the bleakness. She looked him in the eyes and her voice was steely.

"I want something _permanent_... Something that _can't_ be taken away from me no matter what..."

There was this look in his eyes that she could see. Some sort of understanding. Like he comprehended the desire. Some bright emotion without the glasses that she could see. It occurred to her she had never seen him without his hat or glasses around others. Around her he had no hat or glasses and occasionally no coat. There was an almost warm feeling at the idea that she was the only one who had seen him this way. His hand came up and slowly stroked her cheek. So gentle. Her heart thudded at the gesture. His thumb wiped away her previous tears. She sniffled, embarrassed by how much she had revealed to him.

"I can give you permanence Seras. I can give you what you want. Just not in the way you want it. I want you to remember my offer."

She opened her mouth to object again but his thumb slid over her cheek and covered her lips.

"Yes, I know. I also remember telling you not to reject what I have to offer so quickly. Do not say 'no' to me right now. Think on it. Give me your answer later. This isn't something I offer lightly."

He pulled his hand away slowly, as if he was reluctant to remove his hand. She felt confused by the sense of loss she felt. What? What did that mean? Her heart squeezed as he stood and walked to the wall, melting through it. She put her hands to her face and felt her warm cheeks. She was... blushing? What nonsense! She was supposed to be wallowing in self pity and then regrouping herself to forget that. Why was she blushing? It made no sense!

Xxxxxx

It made no sense.

Not yet. Give it time. Too young for that sort of thing. Fledgling first. Fledgling first. Fledgling first. Fledgling-

He had said this to himself and then again to her friend yesterday. Yet here he was struggling to restrain himself from touching her. The pheromones her dhampir body released were as heady as always. He leaned against the wall a few rooms away. He breathed in the clean air, cleansing his lungs of that smell. It made no sense. He had always been able to control himself around her, yet lately that smell was making things harder for him to resist taking her.

He did not understand it. The scent she released hadn't strengthened. The quantities it gave had not increased in the slightest. It couldn't have been because she was enclosed in a room. She had been sleeping in his basement for quite some time where no one could hear her call out if he lost control. It wasn't the threat of being caught either, never that. So why was it more and more difficult to resist her charms, her body, her blood of late? What had changed? What was he missing?

Certainly he liked her. He would have to if he wanted to take her as his. He would loose interest if he didn't like her. Certainly he could want just her body but then she would be a playmate and not the companion that came with mating. He wanted her. Oh yes, he wanted her. It was more that that perhaps. It would be a dreadful union to endure if he spent his time around someone who didn't interest him. Dreadful to be with someone he didn't like or care for. It would loose... all thrill... Not quite the word he was searching for... all value... Closer but not quite... all flavor. That was it. Flavor. He could eat and sate his hunger with someone he didn't like but when the exhilaration petered out... The fruit having rotted loosing all taste... having lost all charm... Pointless. It had been like this for the many other lovers he had taken over the years. He lost interest after a while.

Seras hadn't even been aware of his interest in her. Even without sex she burned his tongue with flavor. She was a treasure trove of salt, bitterness, spice, desire, tang, sour, genuine sweetness and deceiving sweetness. He knew that with her, flavor would be in constant supply. Even after he got what he wanted and sex became a reality, he knew that he would never tire or bore of her. He couldn't afford to loose control. She was too important. He had to keep himself in check or he would scare her off with the intensity of his wants. He was older. Stronger than this. Better self control. Five centuries of self control practiced.

Yet the contact with her clouded his mind. All he had been able to think was how beautiful she had looked while he waited for his answer. He was a beast. He knew this. He thrived off the blood and pain of others. He wanted her. He had wanted her for quite some time. It took extraordinary control to not just push her to the wall and have his way with her whenever he saw her. The little bits and pieces of him that he openly acknowledged as allowed to claim her clamored for him to enjoy the fruit of her vine. He had nearly kissed her a few minutes ago. He knew it would not have ended there. He wanted to touch her, fuck her, drink from her, have her respond to him, drink from him, scream his name.

A chaste kiss would not have satisfied his growing hunger.

Xxxxxx

She was pleased to see the door open wide, waiting for her. Well, at least the bastard wasn't doing theatrics this time. When she went in there were even a multitude of candles around that lit up the whole room. Apparently with common goals in mind he quit playing around. Good to know. She clicked off her flashlight and went down the stairs, walking over to the spare chair at the table. He had yet to acknowledge her and she would have thought he was asleep with the glasses and hat on, slumped over like that if it weren't for what she knew of him. This was exactly the sort of childish stunt he would pull. Let her go over to see his 'sleep' face just to 'wake up' magically and say "BOO" to try and scare her. Only someone very naive would fall for that. She let him keep doing it for a few minutes to see if he would loose patience. She lost hers after three minutes.

"If you're done acting like an asshat, can you please 'wake up' now and tell me you've succeeded."

He chuckled and straightened up. "You are right. Only someone naive would fall for it." She scowled, realizing he not only had read her mind but had kept up the charade even afterwards just to see how long she would tolerate it. He laughed a little longer than necessary, and she realized she had just called some gullible person 'naive' indirectly.

"Who?" She felt petulant as she crossed her arms and huffed. What person would really fall for that?

"Who else?" He sounded highly entertained.

"Goddamit." She groaned, pinching her nose. Of course _Seras_ would fall for it. That was the sort of curious person she was. Too innocent for a thief or a potential vampire sometimes. Ducky got away with some really stupid pranks on Seras because of that.

"She thought I looked sweet and innocent asleep." He batted his eyelashes mockingly.

She redirected him, not wanting to think of how her friend was easily tricked at times. It hit home how she herself was conspiring against Seras and her friend would never know. "Did you get it from her? I assumed that is what happened since you called me down here."

"Yes." He looked almost bored and she wondered if he was lying having not elaborated before. After all she had not been able to get Seras to talk about this for over four years.

"Well?" She gestured impatiently, waiting for him to explain. Mistake.

"Well what?" He asked innocently.

"Well, you said 'yes'." She wasn't fooled By the act.

"You said 'yes'?" He asked and she wanted to punch him for the idiot act.

She glared at him and as though chewing the words out, she refused to play his game of verbal tag. "Yes, _what_?" Seeing his fun ruined he seemed to sigh.

"Seras turned Rosy into a ghoul by accident." She wanted to slap him for how bored he sounded right then... Then what he said registered in her ears.

"A what?" She shrieked. She had seen the thing that Rosy had become but to have such a horrid name applied to it was too much."

"Ghoul. A zombie, if you will. She feels guilty."

And it was no wonder. She herself almost felt sick with guilt.

"She shouldn't." Mona muttered. He looked at her in that maddeningly carefree way till she cracked. "If I had been more honest about Seras's new symptom she would have agreed with me that it was too dangerous. Rosy would have been eleven by now."

"Who did what doesn't interest me. It also won't help Seras." She suppressed her petty anger at the way he brushed aside her pain. He would never care and she knew that he wasn't the one she would want to talk to this about anyways.

"Fine. I will talk to her, encourage her to think about saying 'yes'."

He raised his eyebrow over his glasses. "I seem to remember your promise to get her to say 'yes'. Not think about it.' Despite how mild his tone was, there was a bite waiting for her in there somewhere if she displeased him. She repressed a shiver and tried to inject some levity into the situation.

She rolled her eyes. "If I insist she says 'yes' she will resist. She doesn't like change. Also, she will think that you somehow forced me or put me up to it or hypnotized me into it which won't do this any good. She is resisting out of spite or fear and some pigheadedness on the side. I need to insist that she think about it and because I asked her too, she will think about it. I know if I can get her thinking we will have this in the bag. She's all emotion, action and then thought last. She has always reacted emotionally and then thought about it later. I got to get her to think first."

It took several minutes as he seemed to mull this over. She caught her breath. She had to talk a lot to convince him.

"Very well Simona." He looked so fucking smug. And just like that he had accepted and infuriated her in one breath.

She spluttered. "Goddammit! Stop calling me that! And that's another thing! I don't want her to know. Don't tell her. I'm Mona."

"Ohhh? Blackmail material I see." His eyes flashed eagerly.

"You are a small minded twit. You forget. I have some blackmail material of my own on you."

"What could you possibly know about me that would shut me up?" What she said next made his grin drop.

"Seras and Alucard kissing in the tr-" He growled to interrupt her. She grinned. She was beating him at his own childish sense of humor. "Don't believe me? Oh yes. I would. I most fucking certainly would. Try me. Just try me you diseased foreskin and we will see what she thinks. No calling me 'Simona', no more mentioning my mother, my father, where I'm from. No hints either. Got it?"

He said nothing but she didn't need words to know she had won. It was when he was still talking that he thought he would win. He was sulking quietly like the little blackmailed man-child he was. With considerable cheer she went up the stairs to go eat lunch.

Xxxxxx

Ten weeks of this shit almost made Stan want to beg to be fired. He'd find some quiet job like accounting or a teacher. His boss had shouted at him some. He shouted at his coworkers and they were all wanting to kill him because he was the messenger. He rarely saw his house except for a few seconds while he hurried to get ready. He hadn't gotten laid or had a beer since this whole thing started. He had gotten several threatening phone calls from the father himself and from the sound of things the missing girls father was a mobster with some occult beliefs. He kept mentioning spilling blood and making him suffer for all eternity. The threats, rather than being as ludicrous and superstitious as they should have sounded, were actually rather frightening coming from him.

No headway on the girl. They had found a bunch of teens a week ago during the raid on the warehouse. The small group of policemen his agency had coordinated with arrested the bunch and they now all had social workers or were in rehabilitation homes. There had even been one legal adult with an expired Visa. He was in temporary asylum until they decided what to do with him. He would most likely be deported.

Stan had questioned each of them and had either gotten an angry denial about knowing Seras Holmstead, or an angry insult for even daring to ask a question about Seras Holmstead. It galled him the clear duplicity they were up to. They clearly knew Seras Holmstead and they knew something of her whereabouts but were the reason he had yet to find her. He at first felt gratified that he had found five missing teens that could be returned to their families, but the lack of success in the Holmstead case really made things difficult for him at work.

The only informative response he got was who Seras was with. Mona was a girl who was very close to Seras and they had left the warehouse together seven weeks ago. They had not been back since. He had found a facial match for this Mona as Simona Mihal, a disgraced politicians daughter whose fathers work visa had expired. That last time she had been seen with Seras was on a security camera leaving Thorpe Park. He had managed to locate the tube station they had entered. All that was left was to find out what train they had taken to find out where they had gone. He better get a raise when this was done.

Xxxxxx

"Knock! Knock! Any thieves in here?" She called out teasingly as she entered.

Seras looked marginally better without all the machines surrounding her. Granted some of them were pushed into the corner but at least at the moment none were hooked up to her so ghoulishly. Her skin was pinker which had always been a good sign. Her friends eyes were red rimmed. Mona winced at the sight. Was this too soon? Had Alucard just gotten her to confess earlier? She was indecisive about it but came closer anyways. Seras looked better but she could tell her friend had been crying large amounts. She looked tired and confused. A little lost too.

"Hey." She said quietly, her fingers picking at the blanket pensively. The poor med student she had learned was called Wood came out of the bathroom just then, having washed his hands. He was wearing a yellow cotton gown that tied behind him and a facial mask. He looked at her for a moment and then tipped his chin up dismissively. He went over and spoke to Seras quietly. Mona nearly didn't catch what was said.

"You have twenty minutes of visitation miss Victoria before dialysis."

Mona had never seen Seras look so weak and needy at that news. Her voice cracked slightly and there was a wheedling tone beneath it. "Please sir, can't she stay?"

He faltered slightly and hesitated, clearly torn by the patients needs and her wants, before responding just as quietly. "She will need to wear the gloves, gown and a facial mask. This is not optional. There will be no physical contact in case of further infection. You are still on autoimmune suppressants."

"I am fine with that." Mona relied, revealing she had heard everything.

It rent her apart to see how weak emotionally everything going on had made her friend. She breathed deeply for a moment, comforted that everything would be over soon. Seras would be a vampire, sure, but she would never be sick again. Never have to worry so strongly of her fate. Wood the nurse gestured to the still open door and it was with shame that Mona realized she had blatantly ignored the bright yellow sign proclaiming the necessity of the yellow gowns. For the patients safety it proclaimed. Mona hadn't looked or bothered to read it. She went outside and dug through the drawer.

She picked up the plastic wrapped package and pulled out the cheap thing. It wasn't soft or pretty but she worked to unfold it and put it on over her clothes anyways. There were tabs that secured it over her neck and a tie for around the waist. It was like a robe but one you put on backwards. She immediately discovered she didn't like facial masks but she endured it. There was a hot uncomfortable sensation like suffocating. For Seras though, she would do it. The medium gloves fit though she picked at them constantly to pull them tight. When she was suitably dressed she entered the room again. Wood was handing Seras a Dixie cup and a small boatload of pills like she had gone tricker treating at a pharmacy. She took them all quietly without complaint. He left them alone.

Mona took a folding chair and pulled it close to the bed. She tried to sound light and amused. "So... Have they been giving you anything fun?"

"Does penicillin count?" Seras asked wryly.

"Only if the pool boy in the banana hammock is doing it." Mona quipped back. Gratified to see it working when Seras cracked a smile, Mona kept up the playful banter after Seras's response.

"What? No naughty nurse jokes?"

Mona grinned. "Sadly sweetheart, that stereotype only seems to work with women. Though I will bring you a picture if your male nurse decides to wear fishnets and a garter belt. It's a pity. His name _is_ Wood-y." She waggled her brows.

Seras laughed. It got harder to stop when Mona kept talking. Her voice a falsetto of a helpless damsel.

"Oh nurse Woody! I have a fever that no one but you can cure!"

"Yech! Don't even joke! It would never happen between us ever!"

And there it was. Seras had just presented her a innocuous opportunity to uphold her promise to Alucard in regards to romancing her friend. It was the perfect opportunity.

"Oh? _Never_?"

"_Never_! He's so boring and dull!"

"Since you just declared him your last option I bet I can come up more unlikely pairs than him."

"Bring it on!" Seras looked eager to have some fun. At this point she missed even Verona's stupid games.

"You and Superman!"

"No! You and spider woman!"

Mona scoffed derisively. "Are you _kidding_? I did that last weak!" She teased. "You and the Hulk!"

"Hulk and Spider-Man!"

"Frodo and Sir Integra!"

"You and Walter!"

Mona recoiled in disgust. Walter was a nice person but way too old. "Are you trying to make me puke? I've got one better. You... and Alucard."

It was horrible and satisfying to Mona to know the truth. Someday she would be gone but Seras's feelings would be returned by someone who would protect her always. The mix of blush and an almost hurt look at the idea spoke volumes. The game had been about unlikely pairs and the idea that Seras and Alucard being unlikely had hurt Seras deeply. Mona knew she couldn't change Seras's feelings. She could sabotage Alucard's efforts if she was inclined. Cast him in a harsh light. Make Seras think the worst. She also knew that in the end how Seras felt was how Seras felt. Alucard would win in the end whether she helped or hindered. It was just a feeling she had. Seras hadn't voiced it but she had emotions for Alucard that were more than platonic. Maybe she wasn't aware of it yet.

Seras looked away. "Can we not mention him right now?"

"Does this have anything to do with his offer?" Mona asked, forgetting she wasn't supposed to know.

Seras looked at her sharply."How?"

Realizing her error Mona fessed up but trying to stay humorous so as not to reveal how strained she was from nearly letting slip her collusion. "A little bat told me. It had a little red coat, acted like a pain in my ass and went 'blehblehblah I vant to suck Seras's bluod.'"

Seras didn't smile or laugh. She just looked as lost as before. "I'm scared Mona." She whispered.

"Of What?" Seras remained silent. "Seras please tell me." Still she kept her head down and her fingers clasped from nerves.

_Scared? Understandable enough, _Mona thought, _but what is she scared of specifically_?

"Of dying?" She asked, guessing wrong on purpose.

People loved to contradict others. Guess wrong on purpose and the other person would not only correct you but would reveal all in the process. They couldn't help it. They did it almost automatically. Mona was relieved that Seras wasn't exactly dying, but her friend was also facing the change with no master to help her through all the panic and fear Alucard had mentioned. Her friend had no one to help with that. Yet. Seras shook her head and spoke quietly, as if speaking forbidden words.

"I'm not dying. I'm changing, remember?"

"Then you're afraid of changing?" She guessed again. It took a second longer than before for Seras to shake her head. Closer but not quite. Afraid of changing but not dying yet she had said she was scared of something else. A suspicion took root in Mona.

"You're afraid of Alucard then?" She questioned shrewdly.

Seras flinched. She wrung her fingers together and spoke hesitantly and slowly as if the two words were two sentences. "Not... exactly." And then she failed to elaborate further.

Inwardly Mona sighed. This was turning into one of those times where extracting information from Seras made patience not so much a virtue, as a life sentence. It was an exercise in frustration if not futility.

"Tell me."

"I'm afraid to say 'yes' to him." There was a silence as Seras picked at her bed cover, worrying the fabric irritably. Like tearing up blades of grass, she wrung the material between her fingers.

"Why are you afraid to say 'yes'?" Silence. "Do you feel if you don't then you won't change?"

Seras shook her head, starting off slowly. "I'm going to change no matter what. Its... I just... I don't know! Ok?! It's like if I say 'yes' I'm signing away more than just my humanity. I'm signing away me, my freedom and all of my dreams in the process! Sometimes he looks at me like he knows infinitely more about me and everything else than I ever will! I don't like it! It freaks me out! I don't want to live forever! I don't want to know everything!"

"So... then don't." Mona said quietly. Seras blinked at her rapidly as if she was just seeing her finally. It was a painful thing to contemplate in Mona's mind but at this point she would do anything. Offer anything. Say anything. "Take the change Seras. Try it out. If you can't handle it still after a year... We can sit together and watch the sun rise."

"I don't know." She trembled at the idea, looking lost, but Mona was inwardly pleased. This confusion was far better than outright rejection. It meant on some level she was already thinking about her options.

"I think you do know but you're just too scared to admit it. Seras, you will never be alone if you do this. I can come see you all the time. You will have someone to teach you how to handle this. And best of all? You will never get sick ever again!"

Again Seras shook her head but more out of uncertainty than outright refusal. "I-I just don't know."

Mona tried again, desperate to at least get one thing right. "Alright then. Consider this: What do you think it would be like without Alucard to help you?"

Just like that Seras's eyes bugged out for a moment at the thought and her heart monitor spiked momentarily. She shuddered and Mona really wondered what was going through her head right now. Nothing good, for sure, which had been the intended result of Mona's question. How well would Seras manage without Alucard to keep her on the straight and narrow? It was something she herself had avoided contemplating. Seras looked frozen stiff and ready to snap apart if moved, like wet hair in South Dakota.

"It's OK Seras. That's why we are here. We will help you. _He_ will help you. This won't change who you are inside."

There was a raw look in Seras's eye that was so heart wrenchingly tattered when Mona saw it she could barely contain herself from breaking the no contact rule. Her voice small and even meek as her eyes sought out Mona's jaw, apparently too frightened to look her in the eye.

"If- If I d-do this, wil-will you still care?"

The question slapped Mona's face as she found something that had been dancing with Seras's fears gleefully for sometime. She had asked 'would you still care?' But what she had really asked was: '_Will you love me less if I'm not the same as before?' _It had never even occurred to Mona that Seras was afraid of this. The concept was too left field to be a possible reality. Didn't Seras realize she had stuck in the game this long because they had a friendship and loyalty too strong to end here? They had been through too much together to let something like this end over changes. Clearly there were certain fears and questions her friend had avoided for the longest time.

"Seras, why would you think that? Why would you ever think that?! I never want to hear that you doubt my sincerity towards you again!"

Almost morose she mumbled out something.

"What was that? Say it again Seras."

"You- you called me a freak. A few weeks back. I had a fever and I heard you. 'What a freak' you said."

Mona couldn't believe this. When had she ever so blatantly broke her friends heart as to make a comment on her humanity? She needed to put this right, right away. "Ne-ver. I have never called you a freak. I would never call you a freak. Read my lips Seras, N-E-V-E-R."

Some heat entered her voice as she defended her account of the event in question. "Yes, you did! It was the time before I had that seizure. You gave me water and called me a freak!"

Mona searched her memory back to the event in question and realized what had happened. She felt relieved to be able to explain this misconception. "Oh thank god. I thought it was something worse." Seras looked almost outraged. Mona held up her hand quickly. "Seras, when you were out there was candy wrappers everywhere, wet rags and the blanket stuffing was coming out. I had been looking around and I said 'what a freaking mess'."

Seras didn't exactly look like she believed her. Mona shook her head. This was a hurt she had kept to herself for a while apparently. A secret little wound she had nursed to perfection. Mona forgoed the rule and grabbed her friends hand to show she was ernest. "Seras, I know for certain that you aren't a monster or freak. You are my friend. There will never be any doubt after now. Right?"

After a moment Seras squeezed back and Mona got the impression she was too choked up to speak but that was fine. Mona just needed to say one more thing before Wood came back with the machines and there would be little privacy.

"You don't have to say 'yes'. There is no 'have to's' or 'musts' or 'should's' with this decision. Promise me though, that you will think about saying 'yes. Please promise me you'll _think_ about it."

The reluctance clear on her face, Seras was quiet. "Ok. I'll think about it."

Pleased at a job well done Mona leaned back, breaking contact, and not a moment too soon. Wood came in with a beast of a machine taller than him and even wider around on a dolly, thankfully unable to see that Mona had been breaking the 'no touching' rule. It was a great big ugly thing that looked like a machinified version of H.P Lovecrafts wet dream, tubes and wires coming out everywhere. He started setting it up. She scooted her chair over, closer to the bed, remembering her other promise to Alucard. She leaned over the railing, keeping her eyes trained on the nurse and whispered conspiratorially.

"So... if Wood here doesn't interest you... _who_ would?"

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Seras give an almost guilty start. Mona grinned. She would keep her promise to Alucard and make Seras regret asking her to stay during dialysis. She would get fun out of it too making her innocent friend blush at increasingly candid questions.

Perfect.


	29. Mortimer

HA! Take that you Ipad thieves! Your ass is goin tah jail! I have my ipad back everyone! Turns out my neighbor helped herself! Order is restored and I no longer have to type on the iPhone. This also means I have my storyline documents back. You know, the one you make for yourself that tells you what to do next in the plot? When that &$ # from next door took it, she also took my documents. So now that I have that back I'm a little clearer on how to proceed. I've been scrambling for a while to remember the plot ideas I had written down.

Xxxxxx

_Fourteen years ago..._

There was a tight horror in his chest as he watched her tiny body sink below the raging frothy surface. Stiffened from shock and fear he could not move to save her. Anger saved him as he turned to Zhivago who was standing there wasting precious time. He barked his orders to hide the almost dizzying paralysis that had gripped him.

"God damn it! What are you just standing there for Zhivago?! Find her!" For a second Zhivago stared at him increasing his anxiety. "NOW!"

Zhivago became a blur as he sped away after her, following the river. Only then, in the emptiness that followed when he was alone did he allow his fear to show. Tiny Seras couldn't swim yet and now she had fallen into the river. If he had been human he knew he would have been hyperventilating. It should be him going after her! Him to rescue his daughter! He barely could move his feet for fear of falling. Paralyzed by the fear of the worst he hadn't been able to do what he wanted most. So he sent Zhivago. His worries were assuaged with the knowledge that Zhivago would bring her back.

A knot of coiled emotions he tried to force his legs to move but he was still locked up from forbidden questions of 'what if' he refused to entertain. He didn't know if he would ever be able to move again until he had her tiny body in his arms, safe and dying body of his former wife did nothing to soothe his agitation. It increased it. Hasty acts. In front of their daughter. Foolish. It was regretful. He paused and considered healing her. It wasn't too late. Not too much blood loss or damage. With her mother alive to prove contrary to any lingering memories as Seras aged...

He grit his teeth as he remembered Zhivago telling him of her infidelity and changed his mind. Her servant and lover Ben would also die. He felt taunt and stiff as the time dragged on. Completely wired up he began pacing, almost staggering as motion was somehow returned to his power. Where was Zhivago with his daughter?! Where was that wretched bastard? The time passed slowly and minutes dragged on, forcing him to conjure images of his Seras dead or drowned.

Getting more desperate by the minute he considered taking off down the river to look for her himself. He eyed Isabella on the ground. Glaring at her body in rage. Had she hated him so thoroughly that she would try to kill their daughter? Just to keep her from him?! Distracted from the roiling emotions he didn't notice for a few seconds that Zhivago had returned. He felt relieved for a moment certain Zhivago had returned with his daughter...

Then he saw that Zhivago's arms were empty, hanging limply by his sides.

His face hardened to prevent him from showing the anxiety that sprang up in him. Fear. Where? Where was she? What had happened? Then anger filled him at the failings of his supposed right hand. The one Mort thought he could trust to take on any task.

"Where is she?" He snarled. Zhivago was silent. "_Where is she?!_"

Finally the blonde man raised his hand and pointed at the river. In that moment Mort wanted to kill him simply for just being. He was there. Seras was not.

"You fail to find her and you come back anyways?!" His anger only lick hotter and it was slowly turning to rage when Zhivago still said nothing. He offered no excuses or promises that he would go find her immediately. He made no apologies. He just stood there unaffected like this was not an issue. Unable to take it he pointed to the river downstream. "Get out and don't come back until you find her! You had better bring her back! Alive!"

Finally this seemed to break through to his servant. He moved and the facial expression hardened even if his voice was even and calm. "And if she is not?"

That thrill of fear from before he tamped down as he squeezed his fists. His voice like chips of ice as he spat each word. "Then. You. Had. Best. Not. Come. Back. Ever. Or I will kill you for your failure!"

Still Zhivago made no move and the insubordination only incensed him further.

"Now OUT!"

Xxxxxx

_Thirteen years ago..._

Maps of rivers dotted the room with pen marks all over them. Papers of missing and found persons in a hundred square miles of the surrounding area carpeted the floor. Missing posters with a picture and 'Missing. Have you seen me?' And a sizable reward emblazoned on them. Police reports he had bribed officials for were nearly tipping over from their mountainous piles in stacks of ten by ten by eight tall, looking like a parody of a miniature New York. An unhooked phone and a stack of sherif numbers from three hundred different counties and towns. Wine glasses and a few bottles in various states of empty scattered every which way. He lounged on the couch staring at it all quietly.

After everything he had done he hadn't found even a whisper of her. No one had found her. No one had reported finding her or seeing her or even finding her bod- He swallowed some more wine to force back the thought. Never had he felt so helpless. So useless. Perhaps it was the drink or the bitterness or even the previously existing mess that gave him an excuse to do so but he hurled the crystal glass away from him. He watched it shatter against the bookshelves and found a lack of the satisfaction he thought he would have gotten from that.

So dissatisfied was he that he took the bottle and threw that too watching the remaining wine splatter the papers that had done so little to help him find her. It made him angrier in fact and he pushed over the table before getting up, sheaves of paper scattering to the floor. He kicked the massive city of manila folders over watching the sheets fly up into the air. He snatched some out of the air with a snarl, catching the words. 'We regret to inform you-' He tore them up and balled them. He grabbed more and torn them too. He progressed through the room kicking up papers until his feet caused another cloud of them to fly up and he froze.

The rage drained from him as her face flew up into the air from forty different heights and angles. Her missing posters had her face smiling at him, mocking him. 'Have you seen me?' Despite the lick of frustration and anger he felt, he could not bring himself to tear up the flyer with her picture. He felt rather hollow suddenly. Her face was everywhere around him. He snatched one out of the air and gazed at her image, subdued. Her face smiled but it was almost as if her eyes accused him. Questioned him. Called out to him as the words on the poster spoke for her.

'Have you seen me?' They cried out in bold block letters.

"No, I haven't." He said quietly in a room with no one.

Xxxxxx

_Eleven years ago..._

He was there again, despite his promises to himself to not go.

He hovered outside the dark oak door grimly being torn apart by his pain and his memories. He eyed the decorative filigree of seashells and roses before giving in again, as he had so many times before. He pushed open the door ignoring the creak. He hadn't bothered having any servants oil the hinges in a while. The not knowing if his little Seras was alive perhaps was what set him towards the edge of madness. It was difficult to admit even to himself that there was the possibility she might... He shook the thought away. No. He would find her. He entered the room his shoes clacking on the tile stirring up a layer of dust. He felt almost a traitor or an unwelcome invasion in this room. It's faded and filthy beauty silently accused him.

It welled up just as it always had when he entered this room. Fear. Sorrow. Worry. The beautiful gold crib in the corner with a mobile of garnet Moon and diamond stars covered in dust. To its right large book shelves on either side of a fireplace becoming grimy and rusted. Cobwebs had recently began to dare to take up residence on the bookshelves. A musty afghan slung over the rocking chair in front of the fireplace. A unicorn rocking horse the size of a large dog studded with precious stones, covered with dust. A massive white stone play castle that reached up to his nose when he drew closer was yellowed with grime and lack of care. A spider was scuttling up the side of the drawbridge.

In the corner opposite the crib there was a child's bed that looked like it had grown out of a tree and reached for the ceiling in a leaved canopy. The seashell decorated wardrobe that held her clothing squeaked noisily. The bay windows and the bench were covered with dust. There in the corner were the sheets of paper and crayons she had made pictures of. Isabel had insisted he get them for their daughter. Seras seemed to like drawing. So he had. He could refuse her nothing.

All these things he had made especially for his tiny daughter. He remembered her delight in dressing up like a ballerina and hiding in the castle. In the rocking chair where she had been nursed. The pictures she had drawn. Her falling asleep in front of the fire and him taking her to bed. Her riding the unicorn with delight. Pointing at pictures in a book with delight he had read to her. And she was missing. Or- he bit the thought off. He would find her.

Xxxxxx

_Ten years ago..._

He gripped the metal chair hard enough to hear it crack. It groaned and squealed in protest as he left his finger indentations on it. Faced with Zhivago who had come back he felt his face freeze. The bastard apparently did not comprehend the order 'do not come back alone'. Unclenching his jaw long enough to speak he attempted to remain calm but his voice was still clipped from anger.

"Why have you returned?"

"I bring good news."

"Zhivago, your '_good news_' had better be that she is downstairs with the servants getting a bath and a nap before she sees me. For you see, I am puzzled. I thought for sure that I had told you to never return until you have her with you. Maybe I am mistaken though. Maybe I just said '_bring me good news_'."

He could see the anger licking at the surface of that face but Mort no longer cared. He had lost faith in Zhivago years ago. Now all he cared about was whether the man could bring back his daughter.

"You will want to hear this Mort." He insisted.

"Fine. What is your '_good news_'?"

"She is alive."

He felt the metal beneath his hands wrench further apart under his hands as hope banished the uncertainty that had haunted him for the last three years. He hadn't realized till the moment he had heard those words just how close he was to giving up hope she was alive. In that moment his faith in Zhivago was restored. Elated but still plagued by the fears he had to ask. He needed to know.

"How do you know this? Have you found her? Where is she? I will pick her up myself!" Before he could make for the door of his study so he could get his car Zhivago said something else that made his blood freeze.

"I do not know where she is."

"What?"

"I said 'I do not know where she is.' I only know that she is alive."

Anger and worry returned to him like old friends. They masked the uncertainty and disappointment sinking in his gut.

"How do you know that she is alive then?" He kept his voice light.

"I found her but some humans in the way while she ran. I pursued after her but lost her in a crowd."

"You had her?... and you _lost_ her?"

Disbelief tinged his words. He had her and then immediately lost her afterwards? He could not track and capture a six year old simply because she was in a crowded place?! He threw the chair and it shattered the bay window when Zhivago dodged. He kicked his desk out towards him next. It shattered and flung outwards like Mort had kicked sand.

"Out! Out you insufferable sore! _Out_! Next time you come back she had better be with you!"

Xxxxxx

_Nine years ago..._

Angry he took the wretched modern device and hurled it against the wall. It splintered into a shower of plastic bits and there was a grating noise that it emitted. He ignored it, fuming. The incompetence! He had offered substantial sums of money! He had poured a fortune into these blasted task forces for the last four years when Zhivago repeatedly proved himself incapable. What did he have to show for it?! Nothing! He eyed the remains of the shattered phone in an attempt to incinerate it. His anger spiked. The nerve! The insult alone!

He had spend hundreds of thousands as 'generous donations' to keep her on the priority wall and they wanted to take her down. They would stop looking. Oh they assured him that her face not being on the priority meant they wouldn't stop looking but he knew they wouldn't look as actively as before. Five different task forces had met, discovered he was paying them all off and decided to stop. He stilled bitterly and clenched his hands, trying to calm himself.

Money no longer seemed to motivate the owners of these businesses. That was fine. He knew how to deal with men when they could no longer be led by their nose and the smell of greed. He would go to London himself. He would show these bastards to fear him. He would make them understand that his daughter would be a priority or their priority would be to call a funeral home. 'A waste of time and resources' they had called the search for her. He would show them the error of their ways and that his daughters location would never be a waste of time.

She was eight now and would start becoming sick soon. He needed to find her now more than ever.

Xxxxxx

_Five years ago..._

His second meeting with the organization was quite promising. They had the money, the time and the manpower to do what he wanted desperately. They had their own goals but that didn't bother him. What was better was that they worked outside the law when it suited them. The short fat man he met with he didn't care for. Neither did he like any of the others but he ignored solid dislike in favor of getting what he wanted. They knew what he was and indeed even some of them were not quite human. The price of what they had asked was so small in comparison to what Mort would get in return he had accepted almost immediately.

Five vials of his daughters blood before she had been fully changed in exchange for her return to his side was a ridiculously ideal and easy bargain. He could care less what they planned to do with the blood. That quack doctor of theirs could amuse himself as long as he wanted with five vials if Mort had his daughter returned.

They had approached him five days before and offered to find his daughter for him. Weary of parades of police financial accountants promising to find her if he would make a generous donation, he had blown them off. Then they proved to know more than the average human and he found himself more willing to listen. How they had ever found out about his halfling daughter he was uncertain but he found he didn't care in the end as long as he got what he wanted.

Xxxxxx

_Three months ago..._

He sat at the brand new desk in a brand new chair doing old paperwork. It was always old paperwork. Even brand new letters were the same. He was just sealing up a letter when the phone rang. He tensed, eyeing it. He hadn't heard from Zhivago in years... Unless... He almost dared not to hope. He dropped the letter and strode across the room during the fourth ring. He picked it up and held it to his ear. The man on the other end didn't wait for a reply or formalities. He just talked giving news Mort had worked fourteen years to hear.

"Mr. Holmstead? This is Curtis Halgen from Missing Juveniles and I think we may have found a lead on your daughter."

His ears deceived him with the news and it was several minutes of stony silence as a fourteen year old battle between hope and despair wrestled for his attention. It had been fourteen years. The illness was risky enough with help, but alone? He had resigned himself two years ago to the idea he would not find her. He had kept pouring money into the private investigators and business hoping beyond hope but... She was seventeen. Old enough to change or already have changed. Was it possible? Had she been found? Finally he surfaced long enough to realize the man on the phone was still talking.

"-tical analyzer named Stanley found a photo uploaded earlier today that's a dead ringer. It's very promising. We would very much like it if you would give us an email address or fax number we can send the photo to you with."

He was speaking before he knew it. His voice was hoarse with shock and naked need. "Don't bother. I am coming there myself."

"What? Y-you are?!" The fear was almost tangible. Mort smirked.

What was the mans name? Cart? Curtis? Yes, that was it. His predecessor if he remembered right went into early retirement overseas three years after stupidly trying to take his daughters face from the wall again. He would never forget the tender mercies Mort threatened him with after that. Judging from the fear in Curtis's voice, his predecessor had warned him. Good. It would make them all the more motivated.

"Yes. I am. I expect progress by the time I arrive."

Xxxxxx

_Two months and three days ago..._

He left the building more elated than he had been in a long time. He was in a good mood. He had seen his daughter for the first time in nearly fifteen years. The moment he saw her he knew it was her. It had to be. It had to be her. He didn't know if he could handle the disappointment if it wasn't. So it just had to be her. Short blonde spiky hair just the right shade. Periwinkle blue eyes when she looked at the camera phone at just the right moment.

He was so certain. Slender and perhaps in need of a good meal but in good health otherwise. Any illness she had to be suffering from she wasn't showing. So vital. So alive. He had watched the film and the way her head titled. She looked so much like Isabel right then his breath caught. The she moved and the illusion shattered. There was a perfect combination between him and her in their daughter. But she was older and looked flinty eyed, self reliant and someone to be proud of.

She looked so grown up he felt cheated.

Where was the little girl with knobby skinned knees? Intellectually he knew she had been growing. Intellectually he knew she would age, change and he had been missing out on important things. Important chances to know her. Yet his perception of her had somehow managed to remain the same over the years. His minds eye for the longest time hadn't been able to imagine her as anything but what she had been. Tiny. Helpless. Innocent. Naive. Sweet. Childish. Playful. Stubborn. Parts of him had wanted to still think of her as nearly four. Now his eyes were open.

Despite the almost disappointed feeling in him, it paled in comparison to the glee bouncing inside as he walked calmly. He was soon to find her. This was closest he had been in finding her for nearly ten years.

Xxxxxx

_Four days ago..._

They had found her but he kept his face flat. There was no cause for celebrating right then. It was a horrible irony, like some curse to find her only to discover where she was. He had no way of knowing if she was alive. That place was death to him. His daughter Seras was in the Hellsing estate and he had no way of knowing if she was alive. It made him want to rattle the gates down and storm the castle just to find his little princess.

The cold in his chest stemmed partly from the fact that Zhivago had betrayed him. Zhivago had been flipped and was now working for the people who had promised him his daughter. Mort supposed he had burned too many bridges. They had used Zhivago to circumvent his deal. What for Mort wasn't sure but he was certain it had to do with their desire for DNA from his daughter. His heart sank. Five vials would not be enough for them. She was in danger from these people. He would need to quickly find a way to take her back.

He would kill anyone who stood in his way from killing the current Hellsing if she had touched his daughter.

Xxxxxx

An: some of you are probably all like 'come on' I don't want to be sympathetic to Mort. He's supposed to be the bad guy!' Is he? Is what I'm wondering. Perception affects a lot of things. Everyone has two realities. First reality is what your first see. Second reality is what actually is.

For example: there's an ameriquest commercial about a guy walking his dog through the park eating a brownie. He accidentally drops the brownie onto the grass behind his dog. So he picks it up and takes a bite of it while a grandmother and her granddaughter watch in disgust. He then realizes what they thought really happened and stops smiling at them.

So first reality: he eats dog shit. Second reality: delicious brownie saved by the ten seconds rule.

Review or else 420 yolos wag for Jesus.


End file.
